Goodness me
Marmy - birth of my kids was nothing but stress... Can't see anyone would want to go through that again
1st - the midwife's first words to me were 'I can speak over 7 different European languages'
I asked if English was one of them, to which she replied 'No!'... Very helpful there. Turned out that French wasn't one of the languages either...
She spent the entire time offering my poor wife bizarre advice, in pigeon English ('push... but
don't push!!!' and 'Granny style! Like you style your grandmother! No force, use knees! Like grandmother!!!')
My kid was born like 5 minutes to midnight, then the doctors rushed my wife off for stitches and just left me alone in a room with a crying child. Maybe 15 mins later someone turned the light off... I was finally found at like 1am by a random doctor (?), who asked why I was there, in the dark, holding a newborn baby. They then took the required measurements, took my kid off my hands and sent me home
My 2nd was
somewhat less stressful (though birth is rarely stress-free, so far as I've heard). However, I spent the following week alone with my 1st, who wasn't sleeping (due to confusion as to where my wife was) and would constantly cry... I was also expected to go to work, as 'paternity leave' wasn't really
a thing, at the place I worked
Neither of my kids is too old for me to 'boop' their noses, should the urge take me
Brand: never having had to read the 2nd half is a great answer! That was pure misery, watching a series I used to enjoy destroying itself as fast as it possibly could