ククク...丁度いい... Naruto Chapter 296 Translated by Iwanin

Iwanin

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Note: Click the spoiler tag for an explanation of what we're doing here.

So I check my PM box today and lo, it seems Nihongaeri hasn't just been drunk, but busy with other matters, according to Shannaro's Terra.

So Terra asks me to fill in for Nick (is that even possible?) with a draft of my own for chapters 296 and 297.

One of the Taylor's ideas for this forum is that we use it to compile a "kanzenban" (complete edition)  translation for each chapter. The "kanzenban" would contain not only every translation posted on these boards, but comments from each of the translators as to their reasoning behind each line.

But before we get to that... is there not a fool willing to submit his translation to the scrutiny of others to iron out kinks in the process? Of course there is, and he's just been asked to translate two Naruto chapters.

Here then, is my translation for 296, which almost everyone else has translated already.

Feel free to comment on every frickin' line as you see fit. Once we're done we'll put this puppy together with the previous translations to create a prototype "kanzenban".

Who's with me! (besides you, Taylor).

Yoshi! Ikuttebayo!

Note 1: I haven't yet included the original Japanese text. Lack of time. But I'm sure Taylor, who already did it for his version, wouldn't mind asking GK to do it.

EDIT: No problem - done, albeit Taylor didn't include the sidebars or the preview in his translation, but everything else's added - GK

Note 2: This translation's for Shannaro, so no unathorized Editing, please.

Note 3: I'm interested in hearing from those of you who know Chinese, especially, since I haven't quite figured out what Yamato's jutsu's name's supposed to mean.

Page 1.

296:悲しき決着

Chapter 296: A sad conclusion

Sidebar:  能ある鹿、欠伸、隠さず。

Romanization: “Nou no aru shika, akubi, kakusazu

Meaning: wordplay on an well-known proverb: 能ある鷹は爪を隠す. (Romanized: “Nou no aru taka wa tsume wo kakusu”. Translation: “The capable hawk hides his talons”).

Basically, it means that capable individuals do not show off their abilities idly. Notice how instead of “hiding”, Shikamaru is “not hiding”. And lest someone forget, “Shika” means deer.

Thus, here is my original translation: "The capable deer hides not his yawns!"

However, as Nihongaeri points out, the typical translation for the original proverb is "still waters run deep." Playing with that, he came up with this: "Still waters run deep, yawning waters run deeper"

To present a further alternative, I shamelessly rearranged his original suggestion into the following line, making it more "pun-ish" (notice the two stills) and inserting those semicolons I love so much in the process: "Still waters run deep; yawning waters, deeper still."

Page 2.

Sakura, gripped by an overwhelming anxiety*!

*Lit. Sakura, enveloped by an anxiety such that you can't express with words.


カブト「これじゃ忍者の戦いというより・・・」

Kabuto: At this point, it’s no longer a fight between Ninja...

カブト「まるで化け物同士の戦いじゃないか *ククク*...」

Kabuto: As much as a fight between monsters...Wouldn't you agree? *Kukuku*...

さくら 「ナルト」

Sakura: Naruto...

Page 3.

ヤマト「ナルトがこっちに・・・」

Yamato: Naruto ended up over here...

大蛇丸: 「この草薙の剣をもってしても貫けないとはね」

Orochimaru: My, my! Not even the Sword of Kusanagi managed to cut through!

Page 5.

ナルト: *グオオオオオ*

Naruto: *Guooooh*!

カブト「 見なよ あれを・・・」

Kabuto: Will you look at that...

カブト「 あんな姿になってまで サスケ君を助けたかったのかね」

Kabuto: I guess he wanted to save Sasuke bad enough to end up like that.

ナルト「サスケはぜってーオレが連れて帰る!」

Naruto: I'll bring Sasuke back no matter what!

ナルト「一生の約束だってばよ」

Naruto: It's life long promise*!

* The reason I went with “life long promise” instead of “promise of a lifetime” is the following: as I understand it, Naruto’s saying the promise stands for life – you know, he’ll fullfil it sooner or later in his lifetime. “Promise of a lifetime” sounds to me like he’s saying he’s only making this kind of promise once in his life.

ナルト「 ・・・サクラちゃん
    オレ・・・」

Naruto: Sakura-chan! ... I...

Japanese text missing. Will add. Later.

Naruto: I'm keeping my promise!

ナルト「 まっすぐ自分の言葉は曲げねぇ
     それがオレの忍道だからよ」

Naruto: I'm not going back on my words! That's my Ninja Way!

Kabuto: 今じゃ
自分の意識すら飛んでしまってる・・・・・・

Kabuto: At this point, he’s no more than a sad child…

Page 6.

Naruto: ううう・・・

Naruto: *Uuu*

Kabuto: 悲しい子だ・・・

Kabuto: Who’s not even conscious…

Yamato: 待てサクラ!

Yamato: Sakura, stop!

Yamato: 今のナルトに近づくんじゃない!

Yamato: You can't go near Naruto right now!

Page 7.

Sakura: ナルト

Sakura: Naruto!

Sakura: もう・・・・
もういいから!

Sakura: This.. that's enough!

Sakura: サスケ君は私が助け出してみせる!

Sakura: I'll save Sasuke for you!

Sakura: だから!
だからナルトはもう・・・

Sakura: So Naruto, it’s enough! You don’t need -

Yamato: ヤバい

Yamato: Not good!

Page 8.

Sai: 状況はどうなってる・・・?

Sai: I wonder what's going on...

Sai: ナルトは死んだのか?

Sai: Naruto’s dead, maybe?

Page 9.

Sai: 今がチャンスか・・

Sai: Now's my chance...

Orochimaru: *Guh*!

Orochimaru: そろそろ時間のようね・・・

Orochimaru: It would seem it’s about time...

Orochimaru: やっぱりこの体じゃ
拒絶反応が出てしまう・・・

Orochimaru: This body's indeed showing an adverse reaction...

Orochimaru: 残念だけど
遊びはここまでね・・・

Orochimaru: It really is a shame, but playtime's over...

Orochimaru: *クク・・・*

Orochimaru: *Kuku*

Orochimaru: *クククク*

Orohimaru: *Kukukuku*

Page 10.

Orochimaru: 我慢・・・我慢よ
私にはサスケ君がいる・・・

Orochimaru: Patience...patience!

Orochimaru: Sasuke-kun awaits!

Kabuto: あーあ・・・

Kabuto: Oh, dear...

Sakura: *ぐぐっ*・・・

Sakura: *Guku*...

Naruto: *うう・・・*

Naruto: *Uu*...

Page 11.

Yamato: くそ・・・
間に合わなかったか・・・

Yamato: Damn! Seems I wasn't quick enough!

Page 12.

Yamato: 手はださせん

Yamato: You're not going anywhere.

Kabuto: 早とちりだよ・・・もう君達に手を出すつもりは無い・・・それどころか・・・ その逆さ

Kabuto: Now, now, you’re jumping to conclusions. I no longer mean you any harm....

Kabuto: Quite the contrary!

Yamato: どういう事だ?

Yamato: What do you mean?

Page 13.

Kabuto: ボク達と君達には同じ目的がある

Kabuto: Your side and mine have something in common -

Kabuto: "暁"が邪魔だ

Kabuto: We have an obstacle in Akatsuki*.

*More lit. something like “Akatsuki’s a thorn on our side”, or “Akatsuki stands in the way (to fulfilling our respective objectives)”.

Kabuto: 君達を生かしておけば
"暁"のもう一人ぐらいは
始末してくれるかもしれないと

Kabuto: As I see it... if we let you live, there's a chance you might take out another Akatsuki member for us.

Sakura: ナルト・・・・

Sakura: Naruto...

Page 14.

Naruto: *ウォオオオオ*

Naruto: *Uoo*!

Kabuto: と言っても
アレは君達の連れだ ・・・後は 君達で何とかしなよ

Kabuto: That said, it was you who brought that thing here... so you're the ones who'll have to do something about it.

Kabuto (Thought): おろちまる様もそろそろ時間だ・・・

Kabuto (Thought):  Orochimaru-Sama’s time’s nearly up…

Yamato: *くっ・・・*

Yamato: *Kuh*!

Page 15.

Note: The character on the hand is “to sit.”

Yamato: 今しか無い

Yamato: It's now or never...!

Yamato: 火影式耳順術!!

Yamato: Hokage-shiki jijuun jutsu!

*Hokage style, sixty year old jutsu!

Yamato: 各庵入鄽垂手

Yamato: Kaku’an nittensuishu*!

Forced cloistering”. Actually, this is the best term I could come up with after looking the characters that make up this damned name, but I’m even sure it’s correct. The first two characters refer to an enclosure serving as hermit’s dweling. The third character is “entry”. The fourth character is so exotic my japanese language keyboard support doesn’t even recognize it. Maybe they still use it in chinese.

The last two charactes are heavy and hand. As these two are normally taken together, it’s read “omode” and means lethal injury.  However, Kishi’s given the character for heavy an exotic chinese reading (“sui”), and given the character for “hand” the chinese reading as well.

What I gather from all this is that the jutsu’s name is meant to imply that the bijuu is being forced into seclusion (separated from society) through a “heavy hand”, i.e., Yamato’s. Since cloistering *means* retreating into a secluded space, I figured it worked.

All this said, I have no way of knowing if there’s an additional meaning to these characters taken together like this in (ancient?) chinese.

Page 16.

Naruto: *Guuh*!

Page 17.

Sakura: ナルト

Sakura: Naruto...

Naruto: *うがああああ!*

Naruto: *Ugaaah*!

Sai: ボクはダンゾウ様の使い・・・ 敵ではありません

Sai: I'm an envoy of Danzou-sama’s. I'm not an enemy.

Sai: あなたにお話があります

Sai: There's something I'd like to discuss.

Sidebar:

Sidebar: A grueling fight… a sad conclusion… upon it, one man makes his move. What are his designs!?

Bottom: Naruto, hurt! Sai, uneasy!? And then …! Next issue: Betrayal!
 

Ryoma_Echizen

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An interesting idea. Good word on the signifigance behind the 1st line. Life-long promise does make more sense gramatically. I myself used "Promise of a Lifetime" because it was how it was translated first, plus it makes it seem more dramatic than a mere "life-long promise".

Anyway a wonderful translation.

That name for the jutsu is really hard. The jutsu's name refers to the 10th stage of Tao Enlightenment or something. Meh... definitely a really convoluted name. I have no idea what to call it. I was hoping Nihongaeri in all his eliteness would bestow a name upon the jutsu but it appears he hasn't...

-Ryoma Echizen
 

Yumi-Chan

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Sugoi wa ne~ Iwa-sama~! ^___^
Looks really good! =D

Hmm...Not good with commenting so I'll just post my translation then :sweat :

Cover:
The Ending of Sadness

Side text:
A talented deer, is yawning, without hiding it.


Page 02:


Side text:
An undescribable insecurity Sakura is concealing.


Kabuto:
Now, instead of a ninja fight...

Kabuto:
Isn't this quite the fight between two monsters...? Kukuku...*
(*Japanese sfx. for evil laugh.)

Sakura:
Naruto...

Page 03:

Yamato:
Naruto is over there...

Orochimaru:
It seems like this sword of kusanagi can't go through.

Page 05:


Naruto:
Guoooo!!

Kabuto:
Look at that.
He even reached to this conditon just to save Sasuke-kun?

Naruto:
I'll definitely get Sasuke back! It's like a lifetime promise!!

...Sakura-chan! I...... will protect the promise no matter what.

I'll never take back my words,
That's, because it's my nindou.

Kabuto:
Now he's unconscious.

Page 06:


Naruto:
Uuu..

Kabuto:
He's a sad kid...

Yamato:
Wait! Sakura! Now don't get near Naruto!!

Page 07:

Sakura:
Naruto! it's... it's alright!
(As in "You're done already")

Sakura:
I will get Sasuke-kun back, you'll see!

That's why! That's why you're already...

Yamato:
Sakura! bad girl! D=<

Page 08:

Sai:
What is this situation...? Naruto died?

Page 09:

Sai:
Now is my chance...

Orochimaru:
Guh...!

Soon is the time...

As I thought, this body is starting to reject to it's end...

Too bad, though the fun ends here...

Orochimaru:
Kuku... kukukuku...

Page 10:

Orochimaru:
Calm... Calm down.
For me, there's still Sasuke-kun.

Kabuto:
A~ah... =D

Sakura:
Gukuh...

Naruto:
Uu...

Page 11:


Yamato:
Dammit... I didn't seem to make it in time...

Page 12:

Yamato:
Don't even get your hand near her.

Kabuto:
Just jumping to a conclusion...
there's no intention for me to hurt you... On the other side... it's on the contrary.

Yamato:
What is that suppose to mean?

Page 13:


Kabuto:
We think the same
......"Akatsuki is a hindrance"

It's possible that you guys could be to a good use for "cleaning up" another Akatsuki member...

Sakura:
........
Naruto......

Page 14:

Naruto:
Guooo!!

Kabuto:
To say that your companion is with you
...What are you going to do afterwards?

Orochimaru-sama should soon be on time...

Yamato:
Kuh...!

Page 15:

Yamato:
Now we don't have any time...!

Yamato:
Hokage Shiki Jijun Jutsu!!
Kaku An Nii Ten Sui Shu!!

Page 16:


Naruto:
Guuuu!!!

Page 17:

Sakura:
Naruto......

Naruto:
Ugaaaa!!!

Sai:
I'm Danzou-samas messenger not an opponent, I have some information for you.

Side text:
An intense battle... A sad end of act... And to the end... This boy moves. What is his intensions!?

Preview:
Naruto is wounded! A sterile Sai!? And...! Next issue, "Betrayal"!!
 

njt

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Great going Iwanin~

Here is my translation :ossu

296:悲しき決着
A lonely conclusion

===page 1===
Kabuto:
これじゃ忍者の戦いというより・・・
まるで化け物同士の戦いじゃないか
You'd be better off calling this a battle between monsters than ninja.

Kabuto:
ククク
hehehe

Sakura (thought):
ナルト
Naruto...

===page 2===

Yamato:
ナルトがこっちに・・・
Naruto's(been thrown) over here...

Orochimaru (thought):
この草薙の剣をもってしても貫けないとはね
Heh, for the great Kusanagi sword to not be able to pierce him...


===page 3===

Naruto:
グオオオオオ
Guoooooooooooooo
*roar*

Kabuto:
見なよ
あれを・・・
Take a look at that

あんな姿になってまで
willing to become that

サスケ君を助けたかったのかね
Just to rescue Sasuke-kun.


Naruto (Flashback)*回想シーン*
サスケはぜってーオレが連れて帰る!
I'll definitely bring back Sasuke

一生の約束だってばよ
That's a lifetime promise.

・・・サクラちゃん
オレ・・・
約束は絶対守るってばよ
Sakura-chan
I will NEVER break my promise.

まっすぐ
自分の言葉は曲げねぇ
それがオレの忍道だからよ
I never go back on my words
That's my way of the ninja.
*/回想シーン*

Kabuto:
今じゃ
自分の意識すら飛んでしまってる・・・・・・
by now, he's a lonely child that even his own senses are....

===page 5====

Naruto:
ううう・・・
uuu.....
*growl*

Kabuto:
悲しい子だ・・・
leaving him....

Yamato:
待てサクラ!
Wait! Sakura!

今のナルトに近づくんじゃない!
Don't go near Naruto when he's like this!

===page 6===

Sakura:
ナルト
もう・・・・
もういいから!
Naruto...
Eno
Enough already!!

サスケ君は私が助け出してみせる!
I'll rescue Sasuke-kun for you!

だから!
だからナルトはもう・・・
So...
So you don't have to....

Yamato:
ヤバい
Shit!

===page 8===

Sai:
状況はどうなってる・・・?
What's going on...?

ナルトは死んだのか?
Has Naruto died?

===page 9===

Sai:
今がチャンスか・・
Now's my chance...

Orochimaru:
そろそろ時間のようね・・・
It looks like it's almost time....

やっぱりこの体じゃ
拒絶反応が出てしまう・・・
As expected, this body is rejecting me...

残念だけど
遊びはここまでね・・・
What a pitty, the fun has to stop here...

クク・・・
クククク・・
hehe
hehehehe

===page 10===

Orochimaru:
我慢・・・我慢よ
私にはサスケ君がいる・・・
Endure... just a little longer....
I still have Sasuke...

Kabuto:
あーあ・・・
ah man...

Sakura:
ぐぐっ・・・
ugh ugh

Naruto:
うう・・・
uuuuu
*growl*

===page 11===

Yamato:
くそ・・・
間に合わなかったか・・・
Damn...
I didn't make it in time...

===page 12===

Yamato:
手はださせん
I won't let you touch her

Kabuto:
早とちりだよ・・・
Hey now....

もう君達に手を出すつもりは無い・・・
we have no reason to fight you guys anymore...

それどころか・・・
on the contrary

その逆さ
it's just the opposite.

Yamato:
どういう事だ?
What do you mean?

===page 13===

Kabuto:
ボク達と君達には同じ目的がある
You and us have the same objective

"暁"が邪魔だ
the "akatsuki" are in the way

君達を生かしておけば
If we let you guys live

"暁"のもう一人ぐらいは
始末してくれるかもしれないと
You might be able to take out another Akatsuki member.

Sakura (thought):
ナルト・・・・
Naruto...

===page 14===

Naruto:
ウォオオオオ
uhooooooo
*roar*

Kabuto:
と言っても
アレは君達の連れだ
Although, that is your companion

・・・後は 君達で何とかしなよ
so you'll need to rely on yourself to handle the rest.

Kabuto (thought)
おろちまる様もそろそろ時間だ・・・
Orochimaru-sama's time is almost up...

Yamato:
くっ・・・
ugh!

===page 15===

Yamato:
今しか無い
It's now or never!

火影式耳順術!!
Hokage shiki jijun jutsu!
各庵入鄽垂手
Kakuan nitten suishu
(説明が難しくてできませんm(__)m)

===page 16===

Sakura:
ナルト
Naruto....

Naruto:
うがああああ
Arghhhhhhh
*roar*

Sai:
ボクはダンゾウ様の使い
I'm a hand of Danzou-sama

敵ではありません
I'm not an enemy.

あなたにお話があります
I have something I'd like to talk about.

===page 17===
 

Nihongaeri

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Don't have much time to do or say anything... So... Just a couple things...

能ある鹿、欠伸、隠さず

I'm glad to see you settled on "Shakespearean negation" for the translation. That's exactly what I would have done.

火影式耳順術

Don't know that it's all that desirable to interpret 耳順 as "60 years old" or the like. Made a short post on the subject in Hisshou's thread:
http://mangahelpers.com/forum/index.php?topic=1561.0

廓庵入鄽垂手

This 廓庵 is, I believe, an actual person who created the 十牛図, a series of ten pictures and poems depicting the path to spiritual enlightenment, of which 入鄽垂手 appears at the end. I believe its literal meaning is something more or less along the lines of "enter the marketplace with one's hands held down". In the small amount of research I did, I saw it translated as "return to the world". I *think* (don't quote me) that this 入鄽垂手 is more or less the end of what ends up, in a way of speaking, of being a cycle. That is, 入鄽垂手, represents a return to one's beginnings, albeit more enlightened (?). Again, I can't stress enough how much I don't want people to quote me on this though. I, of course, am not all that familiar with Zen philosophy or anything like that (although I suspect that neither is anyone else here). If someone does what to do some research on the matter without swimming through a sea of kanji, I think that 十牛 gets translated most commonly into English as "ten bulls".

Anyhow, how to translate it? Who the F knows. I suppose you want something that sounds "zen-like", but nothing really comes to me.

Edit:
Some additional explanation...
廓庵 "kakuan" = Name referring to an actual person

入鄽垂手 "nitten suishu" = Chinese. Typical verb object construction. 入 "enter" 鄽 "marketplace/city/town" 垂 "hang down" 手 "hands/hands and arms". Hence literally meaning, more or less, "enter the marketplace/city with one's hands held down". And if I'm correct in my understanding, translated contextually, potentially, as "return to society". (Note, the difficult character that nobody was able to find in any of their dictionaries is also occasionally written as both 廛 and 壥, both having approximately the same meaning. BTW, all three of the characters happen to be listed in the Edict kanji look-up. http://www.csse.monash.edu.au/~jwb/cgi-bin/wwwjdic.cgi?1B)

As a suggestion for translation of the 廓庵入鄽垂手... DON'T TRANSLATE LITERALLY. It'd end up sounding god-awful, and probably only serve to confuse people. Thinking of a translation (potentially "zen-like") that incorporates the concepts of "completion of a cycle", "return to society", and possibly "enlightenment" would be best.

And if nobody can come up with anything good, then I hereby declare "Buddha Smack-Down" to be the best alternative.
 

shinwei

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Yamato's Jutsu:

廓庵入(*)垂手
kuo an ru (*) chui shou
*This is a really weird character that I can't find in either the japanese dictionary nor the chinese dictionary.

To understand this, this jutsu name is divided into three parts.

廓庵 (kuo an)
Possible Translations:
(adj.) Boundless cover, used to describe something that covers or encloses everything

入(*) (ru *)
Possible Translations:
When you see 入 before a second word, it usually means beyond __________. In this case, since I can't figure out what the * is, all I can say is that it's beyond something.

垂手 (chui shou)
Possible Translations:
Drooping/Hanging Hand.

So basically its the Drooping Hand that produces boundless cover and is beyond something.

That's all I could get out of that one, sorry.
 

Iwanin

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みんな、ありがとう!

Alright, here's my update:

1. I'm taking the liberty of reproducing Nihongaeri's post on the 耳順 thing here, since we might as well consider his points here.

Nick's post on Hisshouburaiken's translation thread:

Well, literally I suppose it means "ears become obedient". 耳順 comes of the words of Confucius, which was a reference to what he said he experienced upon becoming 60. Hence, later, in Japan at least, it become a way of referring to the age of 60...

I suppose if you take it literally for the characters it uses, 耳順 (i.e. "ears become obedient") does work for a jutsu that forces submission. The roundabout way of interpreting it (ie. 耳順 = different way to say age 60 = retirement = submission) seems a tad bit more forced to me
.

2. Maybe I just read everything over too fast, but I'm surprised no one brought up the fact that I'd misread 垂手 as 重手. Of course, since it was at the end of a very long paragraph ... yeah, I see it now. :p

3. Will start correcting / color coding, adding notes today... just bear with me, as I'm going to be doing it little by little.


4. Once I'm done making adjustments to my own translation, I'll format the other translations. At that point, those who wish to add annotations to their own translations, raise your hands.

De wa mata ... :)
 

Nihongaeri

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And I was just thinking about the title page sidebar...

The translation that I've seen most commonly for 能ある鷹は爪を隠す is "still waters run deep". So why not make a play on that?

"Still waters run deep, yawning waters run deeper"
 

njt

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Iwanin said:
3. Will start correcting / color coding, adding notes today... just bear with me, as I'm going to be doing it little by little.
On that note, make sure to choose your desired color in the newly created thread.

With that said, Great work everyone- and thanks for the explination for the buddha smack-down interpretation :). *chooses to go with that ;) *
 

shinwei

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Thanks to Nihongaeri pointing out that that difficult Kanji that I totally could not find was also sometimes written 廛。 That makes the jutsu name (in chinese):

廓庵入廛垂手
kuo an ru chan chui shou

Individually translating each character, its

boundless hut enter plot of land drooping hand

What the heck does that mean? I have no idea. I don't know anything about zen or anything either so I can't comment on that.

BUT its clearly a hand. Everything that comes before 手 is describing the 手. What kind of hand is it? Well, its drooping, it produces a boundless hut and forces....... bahh whatever I don't know haha. I really don't think its a smack down though.
 

njt

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shinwei said:
I really don't think its a smack down though.
I know :p we are just taking influence from Iwanin and his crazy translations :p. (they tend to grow on ya )
 

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You should've seen his ORIGINAL translation XD ( Sorry, couldn't resist commenting. )
 

Nihongaeri

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njt said:
I know :p we are just taking influence from Iwanin and his crazy translations :p. (they tend to grow on ya )
I was totally serious! :mad



Ok... I was kidding...
 
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