Choosing just one to vote for was harder than I thought it would be...
I like the range of different styles - but where were the limericks? There was an old man from Frome
Who wanted to marry the moon.
So a ring he did buy
And to woo he did try
What a ridiculous buffoon
If there will be any contests in the future that will have entries this many or even more, I suggest Community Award-esque kind of voting that have at least two rounds of voting. Being able to vote at least two or three in the 1st round would be nice then one final vote in the next round.
---------- Post added at 03:49 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:48 PM ----------
Judging:
This is more of a "night" themed poem than a "moon" themed poem in my opinion.
The first line doesn't really fit the last two lines.
Only the first stanza was about the moon.
2nd Place.
The lines are good but they are too long and you lack rhymes. Great 2nd stanza especially the 3rd line, metaphors and usage of the main theme of your admiration towards the moon.
Good overall but this is more of a "night light" themed poem than a "moon" themed poem.
3rd Place.
One of the entries that really focus on the "moon" theme. Nice mention of the reliance of the moon to the sun and the tides. Lots of potential, too bad you gave up halfway.
Funny.
1st Place!
I really like the way you use the "phases of the moon" as the main theme of this poem. Nicely done! You got my vote! I hope you win!
Best in rhymes. But the poem seems to focus more on "loneliness" than the "moon."
Lack of rhymes and a one central focus.
The poem focused more on the themes of "nights" and "separation."
Okay overall. But it's another poem that focused more on "night" than the "moon."
Good but the poem focused more on the theme of "dawn and dusk."
The last line did not fit the whole poem. It sounded like, "By the way, I admire the moon."
Good but this is more of a "change, permanence" themed poem than a "moon" themed poem.
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A lot of the entries focused more on the things that are related (night, darkness, night light etc.) to the theme (moon) than in the theme itself.
Credit to [USER]Farfalla[/USER] for the medals image.
A lot of the entries focused more on the things that are related (night, darkness, night light etc.) to the theme (moon) than in the theme itself.[/url]
It's rare to receive feedback for things like this. Just want to say that's greatly appreciated. Thanks for taking the time with all fifteen poems. Your feedback helps me confirm the idea behind my first stanza is not immediately apparent (which is indeed one of the things I'd have liked to work on if I had more time since I wasn't trying to be obscure here as I usually am).
Now if it was just me, I wouldn't say anything, but I was under the impression the whole point was for writers to expand on the central concept as they will. In fact, I thought of writing about werewolves' relationship to the moon as a joke, but when I saw zimbardo comment about the same thing in this thread earlier, I was concerned someone else might do/already did the same thing. (So instead I wrote about humans' relationship to the moon since the famous changeability of the moon but also its permanence were its most interesting possible aspects to me and I didn't want to drop them, but sadly I was drawing a blank on metaphysical conceits.)
thanks for the feedback man..i did get somewhat disconnected with the flow and i could have also polished it more material-wise...but i'll stand by my stuff coz the theme was already stated and it had been a long time since i wrote a poem..so..i deserve my verses. ..your feedback is definitely gonna help me improve on it.thanks again.
about the focus on the theme i'll say what almost everyone is gonna say..interpretation and imagination.
If there will be any contests in the future that will have entries this many or even more, I suggest Community Award-esque kind of voting that have at least two rounds of voting. Being able to vote at least two or three in the 1st round would be nice then one final vote in the next round.
---------- Post added at 03:49 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:48 PM ----------
Judging:
This is more of a "night" themed poem than a "moon" themed poem in my opinion.
The first line doesn't really fit the last two lines.
Only the first stanza was about the moon.
2nd Place.
The lines are good but they are too long and you lack rhymes. Great 2nd stanza especially the 3rd line, metaphors and usage of the main theme of your admiration towards the moon.
Good overall but this is more of a "night light" themed poem than a "moon" themed poem.
3rd Place.
One of the entries that really focus on the "moon" theme. Nice mention of the reliance of the moon to the sun and the tides. Lots of potential, too bad you gave up halfway.
Funny.
1st Place!
I really like the way you use the "phases of the moon" as the main theme of this poem. Nicely done! You got my vote! I hope you win!
Best in rhymes. But the poem seems to focus more on "loneliness" than the "moon."
Lack of rhymes and a one central focus.
The poem focused more on the themes of "nights" and "separation."
Okay overall. But it's another poem that focused more on "night" than the "moon."
Good but the poem focused more on the theme of "dawn and dusk."
The last line did not fit the whole poem. It sounded like, "By the way, I admire the moon."
Good but this is more of a "change, permanence" themed poem than a "moon" themed poem.
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A lot of the entries focused more on the things that are related (night, darkness, night light etc.) to the theme (moon) than in the theme itself.
Credit to [USER]Farfalla[/USER] for the medals image.
Lol you sure look deep into things.
Regarding my poem yes it seems I focused on the rhymes hehe. Dunno but maybe I associate the moon with loneliness.
Besides I already explained where the inspiration came from, my point wasn't to describe the moon but rather tell a story, and make the moon pretty much a person of its own.
And for someone who was half trying the result isn't so bad.
But thanks for taking the time to judge all of our poems.And regarding to the part about not focusing enough on the moon itself, well obviously each person has his own interpretation of what would be a moon poem. Some things are hard to dissociate from the moon like darkness etc. So it's not offtopic I would say. And if we all only described the moon in the most typical way, it wouldn't offer much variety. We'd all end up doing the same thing.
Last but not least, for me it was mostly for fun that I decided to make a poem, since I wasn't sure if I'd be able to. I think we also have to take that into account, that while this is a contest, we also should try to have fun, which I can tell some of us did. Really loved some of the less serious poems.
My favourites were danzouismadara, Utsune, Panda and kannazuki, but having a single vote, I had to go with danzouismadara. I think his poem captured the theme in the most subtle way.
I actually liked and voted for Utsune's poem. To me it seemed a complete, yet subtle ode to the moon. But hey-ho, each one interprets it in a different way...and that's the beauty of it!
Hmm are we going to reveal all of our votes, before the voting is even done? Just asking, because it seems it's more fun to be completely in the dark in that regard.
There's a MOON in every stanza if you haven't noticed, I made bold the first letter of each line at one point just in case it wasn't noticeable, until takneeque reassured me the subtlety was fine before I reverted the change.