Sanji's past is such a sad thing to see. From his youth, he was utterly rejected, seen as the shame of the Vinsmoke family.
His mother died supposedly in his mind because of him and his father held him responsible too - something he only learnt from Reiju.
When he decided to escape from the cell his father put him in, and secretly got snuck out by Reiju, Judge spotted him and actually said by running away, he's actually doing him a favour - imagine thinking that your father would object to your escaping which would mean he at the very least, acknowledged and valued you to some extent to at least want to keep him ... Judge told him to not exist - that's an extremely sad thing for a young boy to have as a childhood memory and carry it into adulthood.
After reading a bit of it in the WCI arc, I always assumed that because it was a flashback, this was Sanji himself giving us his narrative of his past. I guess not all flashbacks we see are the character remembering their past per se, pretty contextual I guess. It's not like he was talking about it which would have suggested this is him remembering explicitly, there's something going on here which this panel seems to imply and suggest to me - at least, how I am interpreting it now.
Sanji is fighting Judge, and he says "
You had a very tough time of it..." - who is he speaking to, Judge? He is actually referring to himself in the 2nd person. He sees "little Sanji" as not himself, but someone else.
Sanji has dissociated from his own past, he has repressed his own memories - he doesn't view little Sanji as himself, just as some poor kid.
Him growing up as someone who utterly hates his biological father, what they stand for, and himself as a result of all this - he has come to believe that his death is actually a solution to problems - if he dies, he never has to deal with his repressed memories and he also assumes that his death/sacrifice will solve solutions as this latest chapter shows in various other panels.
He tried to sacrifice himself against Kuma, against Judge/Big Mom to protect the SHs... he does this out of being a noble person on the surface, but also because he wants to completely erase himself (
this is what he really wants), he doesn't want to deal with his past - he is actually a suicidal person, it's the first thing he resorts to at every given opportunity. Even in Wano, he tells Zoro that if he's not himself, to kill him - again, he is sacrificing himself to defeat Queen but with the chance that he will have to then be killed by Zoro after.
One of Sanji's most powerful attacks is hells memories, something I found quite interesting with WCI was that there is a theme of memories in the WCI arc. Lots of mention and reference to it. For example, Pudding's ability to alter people's memories, this was quite aplt someone paired with Sanji in that respect. I guess this all seem to create the image that as is the case here, Sanji's not just confronting his hatred for himself and his family, it's actually acceptance of his own past, his trauma and being able to get past it. Rather than resort to sacrificing himself when he can, it's to actually continue fighting and going forward.
Also interesting that Killingham also uses a polearm like Judge. And he is saying things similar to Judge, someone who is all about royalty and feels superior to everyone. I think not only has Sanji repressed his own memories, I also think it's quite possible in his mind, he has also repressed the idea that Judge is his father to some extent, can't say for sure, but it's really crazy that in a story that seems so goofy, Oda has really seemingly fleshed a character like Sanji with so much depth.
