I know it breaks several rules and in least seven states, but I got this emailed to me, and I found it funny enough to share:
Some facts about Chuck Norris-
1-Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2-Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his
foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia
Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
4- Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris
brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged
beard rub.
Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had
gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck,
to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he
taketh away.
5- Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but
Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
6- Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris
instead
decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he
grew a beard.
7- Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he
gets the information he wants.
8- Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
9- Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good
looks
and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was
finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his
soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and
admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second
Wednesday of the month.
10- Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
13- There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only
another fist.
14- If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two
seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks
you in the face.
15- Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop
the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with
his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
16- Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the
gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other
Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined
influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three
died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
17- To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck
Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds
of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat
that, Lance Armstrong.
18- Chuck Norris has recently changed his middle name to "Fucking."
19- The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
20- Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are
trademarked names for his left and right legs.
23- Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a
high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the
referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child.
Chuck roundhoused kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights.
24- When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and
includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck
Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
25- The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck
Norris-more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris-robot in disguise," and
starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from
drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too
much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
26- Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned
beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
27- When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die
from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He
also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo
meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
28- Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick
related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
29- If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see
Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
OMG.. I miss that High School play.. But is it Shakespeare? 
I can't remember 
and i dont think that that is Shakespeare. dont sound like him.
)
I always listen to it very loudly though, I don't know about listening to it loadly 
speaking of Shakespeare.... I should be reading Merchant of Venice 
