Soul Eater Chapter 78: I've been waiting for an excuse to embed an Eminem video in a recap post.
For the record, I've been waiting for this to happen ever since chapter 56.
So that's been what, like, a year and ten months?
Ohkubo, you brilliant bastard. Only you could make your readers wait nearly two years for an epic payoff and then finally have it NOT disappoint us.
So, where were we? Oh, yes. The Apocalyptic and Vaguely Homoerotic Fist Fight of Doom, Part Duex: The Wet T-Shirt Version.
Except for the fact that Ohkubo apparently has decided to cheat us all out of the whole "wet t-shirt" aspect of the Wet T-Shirt Version, much like the way that he has cheated us all out of Soul's otherwise obligatory weapon-form nudity for the past two years' worth of chapters.
So the chapter opens with Black Star saying "The 'power' that I seek is--?!"
The power of kick God's ass, duh. We've been over this like fifty times before. But no, apparently we need two full pages of of Black Star donning the Captain Exposition Hat to explain this to us readers all over again. "What a dumb question," Black Star says. "This is exactly why I hate books. What does 'power' mean to me? For me, any 'power' is good! I just don't want to lose to anybody, that's all... I'm gonna knock down any opponent, no matter who it is! I don't need some dumbass boring explanation about the meaning of 'power' from a blob like you. For me, 'power' is 'power'."
Did Black Star have those black lines on his bandages last chapter?
(*goes back and checks*)
No. No, he didn't. Also, his scarf and clothing weren't black in the previous chapter either.
So I guess this counts as Black Star's Gooberkins-mouth-tentacle-bestowed change of clothing, then?
Kid is like, bored now.
Black Star is like, happy now. Happy because he gets to punch Kid in the face! That's the best kind of happy! Yaaaaaaaay!
Black Star pulls back his fist. "It doesn't matter if my opponent is a god or whatever!!" he declares. "HIIIIYA! I'm gonna DEFEAT EVERYTHING!!" And then he kicks Kid in the chest.
So if Kid's madness is to erase everything, then Black Star's madness is to defeat everything. Awesome. Gooberkins must be lol'ing so hard right now.
So I guess Gooberkins has released Kid from his invisigrip by now, because Kid easily blocks Black Star's kick with his hand and laughs. "Hmph. What a simpleton..."
"Don't you know the saying, 'Simple is big'?" Black Star taunts in return.
Uh, no. No, I don't. I did a Google search and all I could find was "Simple is Best" in terms of Japanese sayings, so maybe Black Star is misquoting something here? Or he's full of shit? Or Ohkubo is attempting to make a terrible pun? Or all of the above?
"It should be 'Simple is BEST'!" Kid corrects Black Star, complete with an angry punch.
DEATH THE KID HAS NO TOLERANCE FOR MISQUOTED IDIOMS, YOU PLEBES.
" 'Best' or 'Big' or whatever, either way it makes no difference anymore," Kid comments. "After all, I'm going to create a perfect symmetry that knows no boundaries, and make you and everything else into 'nothing'..."
"The hell are you talking about...?" Black Star asks. "And you said that I was being too simple?! So you're going to make everything 'nothing,' is that it?! As if that changes anything about your fighting against me!"
"I'm going to make you and everything else into nothing!" Kid clarifies. Just so that we all know exactly why in the next panel he's apparently trying to kick Black Star in the crotch.
"I have order to uphold..." Kid says. "My 'power' isn't crude and unorderly like yours..."
(Oh god those were some awfully misplaced ellipses, Mr. Ohkubo. Would an exclamation point or two really have hurt so much to put in that panel? Or at least single periods. A single period would have made either of those sentences that much more sinister. Jesus.)
"The end results are the same, so your different reason has no meaning!" Black Star declares.
"Yes it does!!"
"No it doesn't."
In order to prove his point that YES IT DOES, Kid powers up with a full Line of Sanzu and--
Wait, he can do that now?! How whut why in the who now?
Oh well. (*shrugs*) Why ask why?
Because Goo Montster, that's why.
Right, so. Three pages of smackdown later, Kid is glaring down at Black Star and declaring, "There is no conceivable way that the 'power' to return everything to nothing could possibly be the same as your power..."
Black Star just grins. " 'Symmetry, symmetry,' blah blah blah. Man, I used to think that you were obnoxious before, but it's even worse now that you're all 'nothing this' and 'nothing that,' blah blah blah 'nothing nothing nothing.' I'd could be okay with you going on and on about symmetry again, but this 'nothing' crap is really getting on my nerves..." Black Star glares up at Kid. "Fine, then! If my opponent is gonna fight me with the power of 'nothing,' then I'm gonna give him back 'nothing' tenfold! Hey, do you really feel nothing at all right now? You got 'nothing' going on for your emotions, too?"
"You are correct..." Kid says.
MIFUNE DISAPPROVES.
"So you can't even feel any emotions leftover after you defeat an opponent," Black Star says, curling his hand into a fist. "Yup. I'm really starting to get pissed off at you now..."
I love the way that in the next panel Kid looks, like, actually surprised that Black Star is about to punch him in the face.
And what a punch it is!
AWESOME.
"YOU ASSHOLE!!" Black Star shouts. "Are you saying that you wanna erase Liz and Patti too?! Is THAT the 'ultimate power' that you've been fighting me with?! I think you just confused 'ultimate power' with 'ULTIMATE DUMBASSERY', you idiot!!"
OH MY GOD
BLACK STAR, I HEART YOU!!
Okay, so, two more pages of smackdown later, both Kid and Black Star are starting to pant with exhaustion.
"Then let me ask of you as well..." Kid says. "What do you intend to accomplish with your new 'power' to defeat everything? After you have finally gained such power... What is there left for you...?"
"Oh, shut up," Black Star says. "Dontcha already know? I'm not gonna think about that stuff until after I become the strongest!"
A panel later, Black Star is turning the verbal tables back on Kid again. "But if that's all that you can say to me right now---... It looks like you don't have any of your god's abilities anymore..."
"I am a shinigami," Kid says. "I have a god's abilities and weaknesses..."
"Ah-ha! I was right..." Black Star says, kicking at Kid again. "You're nothing but a mere god now..."
"What?! What are you saying, a 'mere' god...?"
"You used to be not just a nervous wreck of a god, but a totally depressing human being as well... The way that you could be both god and human, that used to be the best thing about you! Back when I was going mad, I actually wished to be killed by you... But even though you punched me to a bloody pulp, you still let me live..."
"I never punched you," Kid corrects Black Star. "I used the heel of my foot to smack you down."
"Oh right..." Black Star says. "Kid is the type of guy who actually cares about those little details..." Black Star avoids another such attack from Kid's heel. "And old shinigami once said... Shinigami preside over the 'death' and 'life' of all living things..."
Kid glares at Black Star and orally molests some ellipses.
"You're all high and mighty, blabbing on and on about the symmetry of 'nothing'," Black Star goes on, "but that's just because real balance is too difficult for you to deal with, so you're just throwing up your hands and giving up! That's not really the 'ultimate' anything, is it?"
Aaaaaaaaaand Black Star's eyes are now returning back to normal. Well, that only took... uh, nothing. No explanation, no character development, no nothing.
I guess we're just supposed to believe that Black Star is like, super-duper immune to insanity, and leave it at that?
Well, he was immune to Arachne's brain-spiders and all that shiz back several chapters ago. I just didn't expect him to win against Gooberkins THIS easily.
MEANWHILE!
Back in the Greed chapter, Tsubaki is still staring at the ground where Black Star disappeared. "Black Star... Please bring Kid-kun back to us..."
Patti is staring at Liz. "Onee-chan..."
"Yeah..."
BLACK PAGE BACKGROUND INDICATES FLASHBACK TIME!
"Waitaminute now!" Thug #1 shouts.
"You're girls, so we're gonna treat you reeeaaaal nice!" Thus #2 says. "Come on girlies, we're gonna give you all the lovin' you could want!"
"Run for it, Patti!" Liz shouts. "If they catch us, it's gonna be real bad this time!"
NEW YORK, a helpful caption informs us.
Thug #1 and #2 are lying on the ground, beaten to a bloody pulp and bleeding. "Demons of Brooklyn..." Thug #1 moans. "I never heard nothin' 'bout them havin' a guy like this hangin' with 'em..."
"You saved us..." Liz says.
Kid dusts off his hands, then immediately snaps into sparklypoo mode. "You two are so beautiful!!" he declares. "From this point onward I shall be working on creating the perfect world, therefore you two simply must take your proper place in both of my hands..."
"Onee-chan! He said that we're beautiful!" Patti says, completely ignoring the stream of verbal crazy that Kid spewed immediately after that statement.
"Sh... Shut up..." Liz says. "He just thinks we're easily manipulated by pretty words. Don't be so happy about it."
"I'm a shinigami," Kid says. "In Death City I heard rumors of both your notoriety and your beauty, thus I have come to New York in search of you."
"Shinigami?!" Liz says.
Wait, she's surprised that he's a shinigami?
Wait, in chapter 16 didn't Liz herself say that she KNEW that was Kid was a shinigami, and that was why she decided to mug him? (Also, because she was high as a kite and it seemed like a good idea at the time?) ETA: Or maybe not, as silverystone points out in the comments. It's vague whether Liz in chapter 16 said that she knew that Kid was a shinigami at the time, or whether she's only describing him as a shinigami from the vantage point of having her own flashback.
Anywhoo, back in the new flashback, suddenly Liz has hearts in her eyes. If he's a shinigami, that must mean that he's super-ridiculously rich... A sugar daddy like him came all this way just to scout us out?!
Aaaaand Liz's fantasy continues. If we lived in a shinigami's house, I could dress Patti up in pretty baby dresses, and every day I could let her eat all of the yummy food that she wants, and I could give her a bath and tuck her into a warm bed before she goes to sleep!
"So, what do you say?" Kid asks. "Come with me!"
"Onee-chan, say something!" Patti says.
"Patti!! CINDERELLA!! WE'RE JUST LIKE CINDERELLA!!" Liz squeals.
"Come with me then," Kid says.
Shinigami---... Liz thinks as she follows Kid. Finally!! Finally our big break has fallen into our hands!! Heh! And it's some little spoiled brat who's never known any hardships before, too---.... He's gonna be easy to exploit. We're gonna be able to wring him dry... I still resent the mother who abandoned both me and Patti, but---... Even though I heard that she was the most beautiful prostitute in Brooklyn, I don't feel any gratitude for her just for giving birth to me, not matter how beautifully she did it...
"What are you doing? Hurry up and keep up with me!" Kid snaps at them.
"Yeah, yeah. Sowwy," Patti says.
Liz puts her arm around Patti's shoulders. "Patti, just for now, be nice and do whatever he says," Liz advises.
Patti grins predatorily. "Got it," she says.
Shinigami or not, he's still a world-class idiot, Liz think-bubbles again, glaring at Kid's back. He's just some rank amateur born into a life of privilege---... But this time it's OUR turn. Money, power, authority, it's all going to be ours!
Except, as it turns out, Kid isn't exactly the most filled enchilada on the lunchtray. It's kind of hard to have any sort of power or authority when you hang your hat on Kid, as exactly nobody is taking him seriously in this flashback.
Kid's crazy does, however, make Patti laugh a lot. Liz watches Patti laughing and thinks, Huh... Seeing Patti laugh like this... Has she ever really laughed for real like this before...?
YAY RANDOM NUDITY. I used to think that as long as we were together, we were always going to live our lives full of tons of crazy and tons of fun... We didn't need anybody else at all... I was actually so full of resentment toward everyone else that I wished that everybody but me and Patti could just dissappear forever...
"Yes," Kid says, glaring at a picture frame, "I never thought that a frame that had previously been crooked could ever become so beautiful!"
Liz laughs.
On that day, Patti laughed and laughed, and I knew that we could never go back to the way that we were before... Liz looks up. I think... Maybe we were killed by that shinigami, in a sense...
Back in the present, Liz looks down at the ground. It doesn't matter whether this is the Greed chapter or not... I don't need money anymore... The only thing that I desire right now is for Kid and Black Star to come back safe... I don't need anything else at all...
Except for maybe Soul and Maka to come back safe, too. But hey, who cares about them anymore?
"Liz-chan... Are you okay?" Tsubaki asks.
"Onee-chan?"
Liz answers with ellipses.
Everyone who's here with me now... Is waiting for the two of them to return, too---...
But not Soul or Maka. Nobody's waiting for them, I guess. Nobody cares about them anymore.
Speaking of Soul and Maka!
Two panels are suddenly devoted to reminding us that they are in this manga, too.
And hey, guess who else is in this manga! Jackie, Kim, Ox, and Harvar! Not that they have any lines in their obligatory cameo panels, but hey, at least they're showing their faces!
That's more than Tezca has done in the past couple chapters, at least. LOSER.
Meanwhile, Spirit and Big Daddy are showing the backs of their heads to us just to remind us that, yes, they are in this manga too.
Back inside the book, Liz is having an emo breakdown. "Tsubaki... I... I still haven't thanked him..."
Tsubaki and Patti hug Liz as she starts to sob. "Kiiiiiiiiid..."
Man, Patti, that is some EPIC AWKWARD hugging technique you've got going there. Just saying.
MEANWHILE!
Kid is still insane and still being a world-class dick.
"In order to become the strongest, I might have to use the power of insanity..." Black Star says. "But that doesn't mean that I'm going to give into it, you know! Becoming the strongest by being swallowed by insanity would just be a big joke..." Black Star raises his fist. "I finally found it... The thing that I want to do after I finally gain the ultimate power..."
So, I take that we are supposed to understand that the thing that Black Star wants to do after he gains the ultimate power is BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF A GIANT GOO MONSTER.
Awesome. THIS IS A GOOD USE OF ULTIMATE POWER. I approve.
Gooberkins is either not impressed, or a bit slow on the uptake. "Will you two tell me the answer to the 'power' that you have shown...?"
Hokay, that was an epic awkward line to translate, but here's a gloss for those of you who are a) linguistic nerds and b) curious as to what type of shit Japanese grammar likes to pull that I deal with when writing these recaps every month:
Omaetachi (you -plural) ga (topic marker) dashita (take out/show/reveal -past tense) "chikara" (power) no (posessive marker) kotae (answer -noun) wo (direct object marker) kikasete (hear/listen -causitive tense) moraou (recieve -future tense) ka (question marker)
So, all you translators out there, have fun with that! I look forward to seeing what Mangastream is going to do with this line, because although it makes perfect sense to me in Japanese, I am utterly stumped as to how to translate it into anything remotely approaching coherent English.
So anyway, that's it for this month!
Um, Ohkubo? I love the Troika flashback and all (even with the continuity error of Liz being surprised that Kid is a shinigami), but are you still going the story route of having Black Star be the one to save Kid?
Because, uh. Um. That is definitely what started happening in this chapter. And DEFINITELY what looks like is going to happen in next month's chapter.
Meanwhile, Liz is crying and being helpless. Ugh. UGH.
GODDAMMIT OHKUBO. You giveth with one hand and taketh away with the other. Is it too much to ask to give Liz and Patti an actual heroic moment in this story arc? Do you HAVE to make them hang back and cry about how much they miss Kid instead of, you know, kicking some goo-monster ass and actually SAVING him?!
Also, for those of you who saw the raw with the advertisements scanned at the end of it: Yes, the Soul Eater anime is going to be re-broadcast on several Japanese TV channels starting on September 30th. Yes, there will be a new OP sequence by Unison Square Garden ("Counter Identity") and a new ED by Makino Yui ("Ao no Kaori"). ETA: cybersaku pointed out in the comments that you can listen to a live recording of Makino Yui singing a song from 2009 called "Ao no Kaori" on Youtube, which may or may not be the same "Ao no Kaori" that she's going to use for the new Soul Eater ending.
But seriously, WTF is "Counter Identity" supposed to mean?
Seriously, WTF?
) animated!
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