"As loucas aventuras do Moa"

[xi0]

Wtf...sounds annoying. You should probably talk to her about it though.

Whatever happened to you maybe seeing a psychiatrist about your anxiety?

 

[TheMoa]

Yeah, I should, again...

Well, the psychiatrist gave me a receipt to sertraline(trade name Zoloft) and a recommendation to a psychologist. I couldn't go to psychologist yet, I need to clear my schedule first. About the med, I'm not entirely comfortable taking this kind of med and would like to try only therapy first... but I tried it anyway and the only changes I could tell was that I was more hungry and horny hahahaha.

 

[xi0]

Yeah, I should, again...

Well, the psychiatrist gave me a receipt to sertraline(trade name Zoloft) and a recommendation to a psychologist. I couldn't go to psychologist yet, I need to clear my schedule first. About the med, I'm not entirely comfortable taking this kind of med and would like to try only therapy first... but I tried it anyway and the only changes I could tell was that I was more hungry and horny hahahaha.

Wow really? I was on Zoloft years ago. It wasn't as bad as others, but it made me super tired and not horny at all. But yeah, your appetite can be a problem on those types of meds.

I'd advise against it. But I'm not a doctor, just speaking from experience.

 

[TheMoa]

I'm already off it, just tried one week to se what would happen... I was still anxious, so I dunno if it was effective.
The horny part, I had morning wood the whole week... hahaha

Tuesday was a "2 month anniversary" of our oficially dating thing. I sent her a txt celebrating and all. At night she sent one to me too, a really nice txt about happiness, love and everything else.
It's just so strange that someone can write and feel that way and at the same time just don't want to talk/see you
go figure

 

[xi0]

A week usually isn't long enough for meds like that to take effect, actually. Usually at least two weeks.

 

[TheMoa]

Hum... I get it, it's just that I'm not sure about taking this kind of med. I friend of mine who study enzymes (he's finishing his doctorate) told me that it creates a big chemical bondage over the time... so it kind of scared me off


Anyway, my GF is a fucking roller coaster... it looks like we are on the verge of a break up again

 

[xi0]

Hum... I get it, it's just that I'm not sure about taking this kind of med. I friend of mine who study enzymes (he's finishing his doctorate) told me that it creates a big chemical bondage over the time... so it kind of scared me off


Anyway, my GF is a fucking roller coaster... it looks like we are on the verge of a break up again

I was on a variety of them for years. I'm of the opinion that they did more harm than good, and I kind of lost my mind when I finally came off of them. I still have really spotty memory of the time I was on them. My mom got cancer during that time and I don't even really remember much about it or how I felt. My grandfather died, and I felt nothing. So yeah...I'm not a doctor, but I'm not a fan. It should be a last resort. The only people who should be on them are psychotics, schizoids, or people who are a danger to themselves or others.

lol, what happened?

 

[TheMoa]

damn man, it sounds so bad....


well, pretty much the same thing from the last time we brok up last month
she still is on the give me some space mood, 11 days and counting. Yesterday she sent a message like "Feeling so confused again isn't normal, is it?"
I asked her not to decide if she loves me or not, but to decide if she wants to pursuit this relationship. To remember how she was feeling a couple of weeks ago and if it is worthy fighting for, because I won't fight for this relationship alone. She didn't give me an answer.
her emotional swings are way too harsh. At some point I was thinking that maybe she's bipolar and don't know hahaha
Truth be told, I'm have a theory that it's a terrible PMS, cuz her swings are in a 2 week cycle... 2 weeks "I don't know how is to live without you on my life anymore" and 2 weeks "I'm confused and dunno what I feel, so I'll ignore your messages and won't talk to you for days"
The theory is going to be put to prove until the end of the week... if it is the case, is manageable... she'll have learn how to deal with it in an way that every month she doesn't get on the "I dunno if I love you anymore" thing, cuz it's impossible to be on a 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off relationship.
If it's not the case, well... bye bye relationship, and that sucks, cuz I really like the girl man... outside this emotional roller coaster we get along so well. She’s pretty, funny, open minded, like the same kind of stuff and when on the good mood she makes me feel good like I haven’t in a long time

 

[nanaDmari]

Moa, I swear to you that I keep thinking and thinking and try to understand what is going on with your girlfriend, and try to think of something to say, to help, but I don't know... If it's a PMS case, it's really a terrible one... for such a time period...

 

[TheMoa]

yeah... or it' a terrible pms or she's bipolar or something, cuz it makes no sense!And it changes from one day to another, in an instant!

 

[nanaDmari]

hormones can do crazy things with your personality (I, for example, am getting angry with a lot of things that I wouldn't before I changed the ones I take at the start of the year, and I'm crying even more than before XD), but 2 weeks for PMS seem so long... if so, it's even worse than just the extreme shift in emotion
I don't know anything more specific about bipolar people though, only that there are mood swings...

 

[TheMoa]

an ex of mine use to get really crazy/down... but only 1 week before. rsrs
yeah, I don't know either.. it's just me wondering

anyway, we talked more the last couple of days... she's going through some stuff, it's not only relationship. She just quit her pre college course, she's confused as hell
I told her to get her life together first and don't worry about the relationship too much now, that I'll be here if she needs me.

 

[nanaDmari]

hmmm yeah, those other things might be an influence in her behavior too... it seems she has a lot of other things going on... is it just my imagination or was she trying for med school? at least I have the impression it was a difficult one...

 

[TheMoa]

She was tried for med school the last couple of years. This year she gave up on it and would try Biological Sciences..Actually, she'll try it, she gave up on the course but will keep studying at home for now. I don't think it's a good choice, but she's the one who have to figure it out.
Anwyay, we didn't talk over the weekend... making it more than 2 weeks since we last saw each other. Yesterday I sent her a txt telling her that we have to sit down and talk. I told her that I respect her space and all, we don't need to make any decision, we don't need to hook up, just talk like adults about what is going on in our hearts and minds instead of misleading messages over the phone. She agreed and we'll talk wednesday.
Later that night she sent me messages asking for forgiveness for being so complicated and annoying. She thanked me for being so understanding and said that she loved me and was actually missing me. After that we talked about silly things and all, but then she went MIA again… go figure.
I told her that we don’t need to make any decision Wednesday, but truth be told I’m kind hoping for one… going either way. I don’t want to push for it, but being in a relationship that you are being loved for 2 weeks then is left hanging on a wait for another 2 weeks on and off again isn’t healthy. Let’s see what happens…

---------- Post added May 28, 2014 at 08:56 PM ---------- Previous post was May 27, 2014 at 12:15 PM ----------

annnnnnd she stood me up today... yesterday was all right, we txted each other a lot. I asked her to not stood me up today, she told me that I was the best boyfriend in the world, shit like that.
Today I went early to work so We could meet up at the afternoon... a couple of hours before I could leave she sent me a txt telling me that she had some shit to do downtown and we couldn't meet today, only tomorrow.
I got reeeeeeally pissed, I mean maybe he really needed to do whatever she had to do today, but it felt like she didn't do any effort to meet me, something like that.
I asked her to tell me the better hour so we could meet tomorrow, she said, ok and after that she just ignored me.
I drunk, pissed and everything. Right now I just want to break up and be free of it... but I'm pretty sure that I'll be more calm tomorrow wanting to work on this shit...

---------- Post added May 30, 2014 at 11:48 PM ---------- Previous post was May 28, 2014 at 08:56 PM ----------

and after she stood me up on wednesdey, we would meet yesterday, she stood me up again.... then we would meet today
aaaand she stood me up again. I called her, no answer... then I just sent her a txt breaking up. Yes, We broke up by the phone, again. 4 hours later she sent me a txt "I didn't get it, are you breaking up with me?"
Yes, I am and I'm did... shitty thing is that I like the girl, I really like her... feeling way too sad right now

 

[xi0]

Sounds like it was inevitable. Better to do it now than later, when you're even more invested.

 

[TheMoa]

shitty thing man, dealing with way too much cheat on my own to go through it...
it was a long week getting stood up, making plans for the next day and getting stood up again...
she txted me called me a few times, but I didn't see it (my phone was charging next door)... Dunno if it was a good thing or not (didn't picking up the phone cuz I didn't see it). The part of me that likes her wish I had picked it up so we could had miraculously figured it out and solved everything. The part of that is rational is happy that I didn't see it, sou I would ignore everything and craw back.
Needless to say the rational part is the weaker one and I'm still sad.
Let's see how the next days will be, Sunday I'm making a short trip to my parents home, I'll be there 3 days for their 25 years anniversary, maybe it'll be good to be away and forget about all this shit, although I'm not very confident in that.

and yesterday my psychiatrist gave me an escitalopram receipt... I looked it up on the net and I reeeeally didn't like what I read about it....

 

[xi0]

But what about therapy? Or is this guy just going to write you a script and nothing else?

 

[TheMoa]

For what I can see... she'll only write a script and nothing else
she forwarded me to a psychologist too. But I was so busy this last month that I couldn't clear the schedule to go to now. I'll do it the next couple of weeks,

 

[xi0]

For what I can see... she'll only write a script and nothing else
she forwarded me to a psychologist too. But I was so busy this last month that I couldn't clear the schedule to go to now. I'll do it the next couple of weeks,

Those pills aren't going to do anything for like two weeks, if they even help at all. I wouldn't take them if I were you.

 

[TheMoa]

I won't man... I have to at least try proper therapy first