Re: Dragon Fall #2 Edited Manga
Yoh...
strikethrough means need correction
underlined is the correction
bold is a comment (very useful at some points :P]
There were some other mistakes which were too small to actually matter. Hope this helps (especially since I'm very tired now, so it might be a bit baaah)
Oh, and I'm not so sure if the "thought up" is right to use that way. Just too tired to think of how to do it (srry :P). You could make it: You thought of a wish?
Page 3
Yansha-It doesn't seem to happen anything...
Nothing seems to happen...
Goku-What should happen?
is supposed to (not that important, but sounds better 
)
Wilma-Wait a moment! One, two, three.. There are eight!
Yansha-So what?
Wilma-There should be eight plus the white one, and here are eight including the white one! We are still missing a ball...!
Wilma-But how? The ball-scanner doesn't show any other ball around, the signal shows that all the balls are here...!
Wilma-But here are the balls Soson Goku and I owned, plus the two we just got! Where...?
Page 4
Wilma-Bring'im here! Search'im thoroughly!
Sounds: Ouch! Eeek! Ow!! And what is this?
Yansha-[Shoot!]
Wilma-And this...?
Wilma-The ball-scanner recognizes it! It's the ball that was missing!
Wilma-And it's different to the rest of them, like the white and the black ones.
Wilma-Dang, the one who created them must have been a design freak!
Wilma-Where did you get that ball? [Shoot, I've left him stark naked!]
Yansha-I... I had no idea... Some Moorish person sold me that as an
a useful lucky charm for drivers. [I should have asked for a four leaf clover!]
Ball-[It's here!]
Page 5
Wilma-Well, if this ball works or not, there is only one way to know...
Wilma-Now I've changed the configuration, with the white one in the middle...
Yansha-So the energy channels better?
Wilma-No, so it all looks prettier...
Yansha-They're reacting!!
Wilma-Yes, yes, yes!!
Yansha-Fuck!
Page 6
No text
Page 7
All-It's him!!
Wilma-The Kehu-ron dragon!!
Kehu-ron:What? Where?
Page 8
Kehu-ron: Forgive my confusion... It's been so long since anyone's summoned me, I've almost forgotten my name.
Kehu-ron: Now on to your wish...
Wilma-At least
last! Now I'll see fulfilled my greatest wish
fulfilled!
Wilma-Wait a moment! Now that I think about it, I've never considered what wish I'd ask
for...
Wilma-Say... You had thought up a wish?
Yansha-Huh? No... What about you?
Yansha-What is that I wish for most? What could it be? What?
Wilma-Waaaaaaaah!! We gotta think something, fast! Waaaaaaaah!! We gotta think
of something, fast!
Goku-I wanna pee.
Page 9
Goku-How funny! I wanted to pee, and I just happened to do it!
Goku-Did you see that?
Kehu-ron:I've fulfilled your wish.
Kehu-ron:And the next time you want to call me for these stupid things, better think
about it again.
Page 10
Box: Once the wish is fulfilled, the balls spread again around the world...
Wilma-Nooorrggll!
Page 11
Goku-Say, Wilma, where did the balls go? You've already asked the dragon for a wish?
Goku-Why do you stare at me like that?
Goku-[Hurts!]
Wilma-No, you'd even say I'm to blame here, for not having thought up a wish![Hmf!]
Yansha-Well, after all this, I think it's time for a hard-earned rest, and I know a place that...
Wilma-Good, we'll rest, but as soon as we have recovered, we'll go look for all the balls again, and this time I'll have my wish well thought up...!
Yansha-Well,ok. [Why does she include me?]
Box:And now that our... ehem... heroes are about to rest from this... ehem... epic adventure, it's time for us to change to another scenario while we wait for them to go back to the... ehem... action.
Yansha-Listen, the one who knows the place is me!
Box: The truth is, there is no hurry, is there?
Page 12
In an isolated arcane fortress... A trascending
transcending fact is going to take place...
Gohan-Oh power of the shadows, join at my request!
Gohan-Let the blackest coat of darkness cover this dark shrine!
Gohan-Let the hellfire shine in the forge of the greatest palladin from the forces of evil!
Page 13
Gohan-Well, yes... I'd say some coat of darkness covers me...
Gohan-Glglglgl...
Arrow: Yes, he's Chun Gohan!
Page 14
Gohan-You!
Gohan-You... are...!
Gohan-The Guyver!!
Page 15
Bubu-All right, let's stop joking!
Bubu-I'm Bubu!
Bubu-The most powerful wizard on Earth and part of the foreign country!
Gohan-Very well! I wasn't expecting anything less! Now listen, wizard Bubu: I'm your master and I'm gonna command you a mission!
Bubu-Er... Could you explain to me what you just said? I didn't know those new ones...
Bubu-I can say until "part of the foreign country".[He, he, we're even, now!]
Gohan-I should have guessed his mind would yet be empty of data.
Gohan-Ehem... Is there something you already know how to do by yourself?
Gohan-No! No! Forget it! I get the idea!
Gohan-Well, I'll have to explain the whole purpose of your mission, in the most elementally clear way... [What an odd feeling of Deja-Vu!]
Bubu-I know what you want from me: you want me to put my power at your service so that this Soson Goku guy is destroyed, don't you?
Page 16
Bubu-Don't be so surprised, I'm a very powerful wizard and I can read minds. I knew what you called me for from the beggining
beginning...
Gohan-Then why did you play fool?
Bubu-I'm also quite the joker, tee, hee, hee...
Bubu-But I warn you, the destruction of that Soson Goku shall better be funny, or else, I won't do it!
Gohan-Well... I think that for a wizard as powerful as you, there won't really be a problem in finding a way to make his destruction funny... now will there be? [What a seriousless guy, fuck!]
Bubu-Good, good, good, I like that! I was so totally into having fun! This is so gonna rule!
Gohan-Well, now we have to track Soson Goku down, with your powers I don't think it'll be a hard task...
Page 17
Someone-Stop right there!!
Gohan-Huh? Who?
Hebime-We have detected a mystic energy discharge of supra-atomic proportions greater than the maximum armonic
(you mean harmonic?) level, which breaks all the commandments in this physical universe. We, the Peskaito Shins, will put things back into order!!
*These guys are from the "Orion" series, a manga by master Masamune Shirow.
Bubu-And what's the whole point of you guys?
Hebime-We are the special patrol against spirits, hellspawn, succumb to our power! [Screw you]
Gohan-I don't like this, wizard Bubu! Make them disappear before they pose a threat!
Page 18
Fuuzen-But fools! We are already a threat to you, metaphysical criminals!
Gohan-Quick, Bubu, return his attack, let's not take any risks here!
Susano-Watch your words, you heretical sacrilegious! [Chew on this!]
Bubu-Chun Gohan?
Bubu-You have provoked Bubu's rage!
Page 19
Fuuzen-Agh...! KOFF!! Urgh!
Bubu-My beans fart-like attack never misses.
Susano-That's a shameful attack, nobody deserves to die like that!
Susano-I'll avenge my partner's death!
Bubu-Honestly, I never thought it would work!
Susano-Fuck... what a... crash...! [Man, it hurts so much!]
Bubu-Oooooh! [I'm the best!]
Hebime-This fight is already getting ridiculous! We must put a stop on to this now!
Hebime-Hey, mister Bubu, we are willing to dialog dialogue a peaceful ending out of this!
Page 21
G.V.-You can't dialogue with an enemy like that, it's too risky...
G.V.-Dispose of him as soon as possible!
Seska-Him...!
Hebime-The Grand Venerable of the Peskaito Shins!
G.V.-He's taking advantage of your weak points...
G.V.-You must strenghten your aura so you hide yourselves from his perceptions.
Susano-Protect our weaknesses... That's it! I was such a fool!
Susano-How could I forget I'm as blind as a bat!
Susano-You won't mock me now, freak!
Susano-Don't try your luck, or you'll be getting some, huh? Don't fuck with me!
Bubu-[Haw haw haw]
Hebime-Let's prepare the antiwizardry spell to neutralize him! Now!
Page 22
Text on fan: Grow up soon
Monster: Ouuuuugh!
Susano-I think we missed something!
Hebime-Is that so? No shit.
Pai-Yakumo!
Text on fan: Go to hell
Text on bus: Cosmic trolley bus
Page 23
G.V.-Well! Are we gonna do things the right way, or what? Let's join our power to finish him!
Hebime-Come on, everybody!
Seska-Let's join
combine (not sure :P, can also be -> Let's join forces <-) our forces!
Susano-In the great tornado! [I'm the best at everything I do]
Page 24
All-We're ready!
Page 25
All-Succumb to the supertornado!
Page 26
Bubu-Shit!
G.V.-We... we made it...
G.V.-By the way, what was it
that all about?
Note: Actually, Chun Gohan has been inconscious
unconscious since Susano kicked him,
. we
We didn't say so before outta lazyness
laziness (unless it's on purpose he's talking like that).
Alvaro-[Anything wrong?]
Page 27
Someone-Oh, man!
??- Those foreigners in the special patrol always get there before us!
Gohan-Uuuuunng!
Page 28
Gohan-What?!!
Gohan-My shrine, destroyed!!
Gohan-What about Bubu? Is this all that's left of him?
Gohan-And what will I do now?! It was required a power collected through generations, an astral conjuction and a Leonard Nimoy's joke to summon him!
A power collected through generations, an astral conjuction and a Leonard Nimoy's joke were required to summon him! (OR "It required a power collected through generations...") How will I repeat the unrepeatable circumstances?
Gohan-There is some hope, but I need to wait for a couple of decades, at least... I hope that ignorant is still alive then...
Note: And now, let's project ourselves towards the future...
Page 29
Approximately a year later, on the same place... (shoot, what a coincidence).
Wilma-Well, at this time we are already close to the next Kehu-ron ball, we may not run into any other hindrance!
Goku-How cool! Everything is so big!
Nacho-We are projecting ourselves towards the future!
Alvaro-Yeah, like Kaneda!
Katakana on cap: "Wilma"
Wilma-Of course Yansha could have come with us, but he's still recovering from the day you got the hang of the Kome-Jame-Ha and left the house full of holes! They're still picking up bricks in the villages around there! [And my dad has cut me out of his will! Snif!]
Goku-But now I master
mastered the attack! [Tee hee]
Wilma-Yeah, and that scaares
scares (unless she's yelling.. i can't see that in this script 
) me!
Wilma-I've decided that, after gathering the balls, my wish will be to recover my dad's trust. I wouldn't be able to live without it! (without his inheritance, that is)
Note:This chick must have been born with gloves on
Page 30
Wilma-The new ball-scanner is way more precise. That'll make things easier.
Signs: The ball is here.
And you, here.
Got it?
Wilma-And thank god we already got one of the balls; we were lucky it got stuck in what was left of my parents' house, fate is on our side!
Wilma-Come on! We're not that far from it!
Ope.-Located position of B-5. It travels at constant speed towards the northwest...
Comm.-Good, send the tracking unit to analyze its track.
Page 31
Unit-We're checking its track, it hasn't been that long since they went by here.
Unit-The energetic print there shows that they travel on a motorized vehicle.
Unit-However, there is a very powerful trace of energy from those ruins, that can altere
alter our readings; there might have been a metaphysical storm a long time ago, there...
Sol.-Roger, we'll save in memory the analysis' results, prepare an interception according to them...
Sol2.-Look, sir! Androids!
Sol3.-[Look, sir, chinesemen footsteps!]
Page 32
Comm-Good, get the interception squad going, for our supreme commander's sake! [And for heeaven's saake!]
Comm-Let us charge against the invaders with all the might of the Lazo Lila!
Comm-Attack!
To be continued... the month it is.
XD