Life Single or Married and why

Leen

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I've been wondering about this issue for a while already so I like to hear from your point of views about it. Do you prefer to be single all your life or do you like to be married to someone and settle down? Single doesn't mean that you have to be a virgin or whatsoever. You can still live together with your boyfriend or girlfriend or ages. It's just that you don't get married. Some people remain single for the rest of their life living together with their desired partner. Some of them adopt children and all that but others prefer to marry someone they truly love and live happily ever after. What do you think? What's the pros and cons of being single and married? Which will you choose?

So far, I've only collected a few reasons as to why people remain single or married. Feel free to add in more or comment on them.

Single
Pros
-freedom
-no commitment
-like the status?? :p

Cons
-community might see you as an old book shelf?
-you can't get married? XD
-dying alone is bad news?

Married
Pros
-committed spouse
-have your own family and life
-something to show to the world that you are "wanted" by someone.

Cons
-commitment to husband, children
-no freedom
-more costly??
-no safety? Spouse might betray you?

Discuss. :)
 

Predator

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Re: Single or Married

:blink
You sure know, how to bring up heavy issues, don't you! XD

Well .... I think that marriage is needed only as a tool of insurance. Married people can have the property after their husbands/wifes death, in some countries even the pension (money paid, when retired). That's a Pros.

If you get bored, you need to go through the bother divorcing. That's a Con.

I wouldn't bother making marriage, just to get a social status like that. It's as hypocritic as the politeness, when you don't care.
 

siegfried

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Re: Single or Married

if you are living with a opposite gender how can it be called being single?you cant leave your partner when you feel like it so it can be considered as a commitment too.

I am 21 and I can say I am not ready to get married or to a serious relationship but I sure want to find somebody I truly love in future.I dont think being single forever is enjoyable.
 

ensngre

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Re: Single or Married

Well, of course, the pros and cons of both being married and being single differs from person to person. Some may think that commitment to husband/wife and children is a con, but I would think of it as a pro; if I marry and get children, I want to take care of them. I want to get committed. It doesn't matter if it becomes tough, they're still my family.

And, alas, as opinions are always biased, I'd say that dying alone isn't such a bad way of going out. You've probably taken good care of yourself your whole life, and should be pretty happy with just yourself.

That's only what I think at the moment. Tomorrow, it might change, as it probably will and have before. Tomorrow, maybe I'm feeling lonely, and definitely doesn't want to die alone.

Well, that's only my two cents' worth. :notrust Slim but really complete list you've got there.
 

The Boff

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Re: Single or Married

Im very torn in this issue. if i ever get a girlfriend that wants to marry me im gonna be in deep shit....
cause for me its more of a religious issue, and im not christian. im very no no on the whole christianity thing
so im not so fond of standing in a church and saying stuff like "yes i promise BEFORE GOD to love and honor..."
since i dont believe in god i would just be talking bullshit. and i dont want that, especially if this is a girl that i want to spend the rest of my life with. so im torn in this matter... im perfectly fine with spending the rest of my days with one person but
not a church wedding with all the god stuff.
 

Adam_xx

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Re: Single or Married

Single = Enjoyable.
Married = Not as much, but I'd do this.
 

Brede

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Re: Single or Married

@Boffen: can't you just register and 'marry' at the Marriage registry (or wherever that registers marriages) then? without the need of an elaborate church wedding and stuff.

i can't say i'm ready for the big M yet. then one day, a wise friend of mine pointed out that that's simply because I haven't found someone I want to marry yet. He (yes, this advice actually came from a guy) insists that I would think very differently once that special person appears. like siegfried posted, it would be nice to find someone to share your life with. But i don't believe in marrying just for the sake of marrying.
 

The Boff

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Re: Single or Married

Brede said:
@Boffen: can't you just register and 'marry' at the Marriage registry (or wherever that registers marriages) then? without the need of an elaborate church wedding and stuff.
yeah thats probably what i would say to my partner but that could bring loads of problems.. so
im just hoping for a girl that shares my opinions...
 

yeste

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Re: Single or Married

When I woke up this morning, somehow I never could have guessed that I’ll be discussing something this serious today!!!! He,he but that’s why it’s so great to wake up, you don’t know what’s gonna happen to you today!!!! The raw is late so WTH you just might hear what I have to say on this…

I must say that I find your list of pros and cons a bit different from what I had in mind, and also the definition of the single status is by my standards somewhat questionable…But nevermind that, I know what you wore saying so here’s how I see this…

The issue here is should someone get married for the right or the wrong reasons, or not get married at all!!! Let me clarify this, I know people who really got married for the right reasons, the things they believed in, and I’m happy to say that for the great number of them it worked out just fine!!! But, I know people who got married for the wrong reasons… such as pressure from the community/family, for the fun of it ( my favorite one! Never worked out for anyone!!! ) , and that one that’s been seen in history sooooo many times – getting pregnant!!!

What I see are the right reasons for getting married… well when two people are great together, complement each other, over all they just fit somehow… have a great deal of understanding for each other and are sure in the fact that they can’t spend the rest of their lives without their partner!!!!

The wrong ones… don’t feel like discussing them…

And finally, we come to the question… Even if all the reasons are there, should you get married or just continue living with that significant other….Now, this is tricky!!!

To me, it all depends on what your idea of marriage is… If you think this is a way of showing your commitment and love and the other traditional things that marriage stands for, than you should have no trouble doing it, but if you see these values as fake or too idealistic/not possible in real life, then don’t do it… Just continue living with someone…And follow your believes!!!



I know that different people see this subject in different ways, so my advice on this is you should do what you want, and not be pressured by anyone/thing!!! It’s a big deal that can turn out to be a great mistake or great happiness, so you’d have to consider your feelings on the subject aswell as the feelings of the other person involved!!!

Just a note here….Eileen, I’m kind of confused with the no freedom argument in the cons of married… Can you please clarify this somemore… What types of freedom did you have in mind? :p
 

LadyHatake

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Re: Single or Married

BoffenJL said:
yeah thats probably what i would say to my partner but that could bring loads of problems.. so
im just hoping for a girl that shares my opinions...
Just remember: If she truely loves you, she'll respect your views on religion and will do a civil ceremony rather than a religious one ;)

I think that, one day, I'd like to be married. After I'm out of college and have gotten a stable career. Marriage is alot of work, you have to be able to balance your own needs with that of your spouse, and later you have to balance that with children, too. To me, marriage is a commitment of oneself to the person they love most, and that's something to take seriously. Just being able to live with that person and share your lives is one of the biggest statements of love there is.

I'm a big romantic at heart, so of course I want to find that 'one guy,' the one who's for me and only me. I won't marry just to be married, like others have said. I'll wait for that one guy I can't live without, because I don't want to divorce. But I have plenty of time for that, and like I said, I want to be able to have established my career before I settle down. Gotta have some fun when you're young, right? :)
 

The Boff

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Re: Single or Married

LadyHatake said:
Just remember: If she truely loves you, she'll respect your views on religion and will do a civil ceremony rather than a religious one ;)
yeah hopefully, you intrested? :eyeroll :XD
 

LadyHatake

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Re: Single or Married

I would, but GK already asked ^^
You are rather handsome, though. :D
 

chaosenigma

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Re: Single or Married

LadyHatake said:
I think that, one day, I'd like to be married. After I'm out of college and have gotten a stable career. Marriage is alot of work, you have to be able to balance your own needs with that of your spouse, and later you have to balance that with children, too. To me, marriage is a commitment of oneself to the person they love most, and that's something to take seriously. Just being able to live with that person and share your lives is one of the biggest statements of love there is.

I'm a big romantic at heart, so of course I want to find that 'one guy,' the one who's for me and only me. I won't marry just to be married, like others have said. I'll wait for that one guy I can't live without, because I don't want to divorce. But I have plenty of time for that, and like I said, I want to be able to have established my career before I settle down. Gotta have some fun when you're young, right? :)
This is pretty much exactly the way I see it. I definitely want to get married in the future once im financially stabilized. Not just to do it, but because of the symbolism the act represents, which means that you are fully committing yourself to your loved one. In body and soul, through anything and everything.

Like LadyHatake to an extent, I'm idealistic when it comes to love. If you are truly with someone you wish to be with, then marriage should by no means be considered a burden. To me when I see spouses signing prenups and the like, it doesn't represent total trust and devotion to your loved one, because you are leaving the option of splitting up in the future which is what marriage is supposed to eliminate.

Maybe a little idealistic for some, but thats the way I see it.
 

The Boff

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Re: Single or Married

LadyHatake said:
You are rather handsome, though. :D
:redface :hug
 

Tamerlane

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Re: Single or Married

This is an interesting topic that I have a few things to add (not to mention that I am at work and bored to tears).

First of all I could not imagine being single for the rest of my life.....it would just seem so lonely and rather cold. I strongly believe that human beings in general crave love and affection for a reason, and to fullfil that desire they want to be with someone, and sometimes marriage offers more stability in that aspect. Dont get me wrong here there are a ton of reasons other than stability to get get married, I wont go thru them all here....it would take forever. x_x

Of course the trick is finding someone that matches you well enough that you want to spend your whole life with them. But once you have the fortune to find that person, I think that marriage is a wonderful way to show commitment to one another.

:amuse

(all my opions are rather biased though since I am getting married next year) >_>
 

ruby_06

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Re: Single or Married

I'd prefere to get married because mostly when we get old we will need someone who can take care of us and help us when we need him/her, but being single is not bad but only for a specific period of time, then you naturally will find yourselves wanting to be committed.
And also both have their problems but if you really respect and love the other party , then both of you can solve the problem.Being married doesnt mean there will be no freedom , well ofcourse it wont be as when you were single but you can get to hang out with your husband/wife anytime and it will be romantic.
So that is why i prefere to be committed than single,as in the future it would be lonely i agree
 

Ichimaru Gin n Tonic

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Re: Single or Married

Hmmm... Single or Married? Meditate on this I must.... Ok, let's give this a shot.
For me, being married means spending (hopefully) the rest your life with someone that can put up with you and everything there is about you like your bad habits, temper, weird traits, etc. It also means sharing, your laughs, your tears, your income (unless your pre-nupt says otherwise), your space, and of course, your freedom will be limited. Do I want all of that? You bet I do!
You wanna know why? Wouldn't it be great waking up next to someone that you love every morning and knowing that person loves you for who you are and what you're going to be and you love that person for the same reason?
 

thejackass98

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Re: Single or Married

heh well this is kinda interesting well me belives that in being married as a way to unite 2 different lives into one and even if being married you can have all the freedom you want but you have to share it to a certain point.. and for me being single you can still have kids....heh love childs but it still may give you a feeling of loneliness (which i dearly hate) so i would like to get married in near future but still got shit load of time as a free man :tem heh my greedy self can never let me die alone.... if i die some ones comin with meh

Tamerlane said:
(all my opions are rather biased though since I am getting married next year) >_>
congratulations :smile-big
 

Leen

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Re: Single or Married

:D
The freedom that I'm talking about being a single is the freedom of going shoppings for 24 hours with no worries and so on. That's a freedom that marriage cannot guarantees someone. People have less freedom when they get married. They have obligations, duties to perform and commitments to stick to. However, being a single grants you endless freedom and youth that a married perso cannot experience. That's the freedom I'm talking about.

Other than that, marriage does have its good sides. At least you can proudly tell the world that "I am HIS" or "I am HERS." Marriage is a sign that this one person in the world had vowed to share his/her life with you no matter in whatever circumstances that you might be in. Be it sickness, wealth, etc, at least there would be one person in this world that will be there for you, that will care for you, that will help you go through that phase of your life. Single's partner however can just leave once the deadline is over. Once the hype of getting a new girlfriend/boyfriend is over, he/she can just dump you like that without thinking twice. This won't happen with a marriage since the opposite sex had taken a vow and that vow is meant to be kept "Till Death Do Us Part".

So...um......it is still hard for me to pick a stand in this issue.
 

HisshouBuraiKen

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Re: Single or Married

Gotta go with married (and not just because my wife's lurking about). The inner peace you have from knowing you have someone who loves you unconditionally and will always be there for you far outweighs the benefits of "unlimited freedom". I imagine that to most guys, "unlimited freedom" means "I can jack off whenever I want and leave the towel out." XD
 
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