I guess I need to take these things off my mind,so ...
-I confess I don't know what the hell is going on with me lately @_@ , I just don't care and give a shit about ...well,almost anything anymore,but still I can't find the reason for this atitude;
-I confess I got friend-zoned,brother-zoned and now I am in a freaking grey-zone (what the hell is that?...) regarding a girl,a neighbour of mine...things are pretty deep-shit complicated now,and the story is quite boring so bear with me : thing is,last summer,I started to going to a friend's house,he ain't that far away from me,and he's got a sister(yeah she's the mothafuckin' one)and how the hell I ended up liking her,even I don't know,but I really started to get along with her and tried to be nice and whatever,but the months passed but so our relationship we ended up talking quite a lot and quite intimately...but when I wanted to take her out on a date(it was my birthday in december) she said she couldn't because her father wouldn't let her(and I know her father very well,I knew he wouldn't let her),partially it was my fault because I called her and asked her out right on the day of my birthday when I should have done that a week before or so,so that she can talk with her father about it;and then,she promised me she will get out with me another day,but it seems that at her school,some other guy acted faster than me and she ended up as his girlfriend lol;I was(at the time) quite heartbroken,but I didn't just give up on her...and then,during the school holidays(3 weeks of free time) a cousin of her(another pretty girl) started visiting her...and from that friend I found out that she likes me so I went out with her cousin lol;
-thing is,since school started,I didn't get to see her cousin too often,because of school and because her parents don't let her out almost at all,so in the end she was the one who told me she wants to break up with me because we can't meet each other...and I went to my friend and talked to his sister(which I never quitted to like)...turned out she also broke up with that guy from her school because of the same reason(though this one is a bit funny) : his grandparents weren't letting him go out with girls and whatever because his school grades were bad and he was the one who broke the relationship with the girl...so because I didn't act fast enough(and smart enough) in december,the girl I like got another guy,broke up with him,I got her cousin,broke up with her...and now,things are,well,pretty weird,dunno how to say,I often go to that friend and talk with her,but I don't know,shit is real and complicated I guess,I still like her but I wonder how she would react if I told her that...thing is,now she talks with another friend from her school and there is a big chance she ends up with him...so if I don't act now,I might lose the chance again...oh fuck it,maybe I should just don't thing anymore;
-I confess that I don't give a crap about my school grades(and I'm in the latest year in highschool) and ,as of a consequence,they are getting lower...however,I don't find any point in trying to be good and getting good grades if the college I want to go at doesn't require good grades...it just requires the grade I take at the final exam in highscool in informatics(is this how it is spelled ? I don't know)...so I only work at math and informatics...as you can guess,my mother ain't happy about that,no sir,no;