Life The MangaHelpers Confessional Thread - Part 3

[Anera]

I completely agree with Panda. Your sister is being passive-agressive ? Geez, this is no good for you, she is just avoiding the topic but still try to mark her disapproval and make you feel bad (unintentionnaly or not). You should have a talk with her (even if she is not going to like that but the situation can't stay in standby) if you want to go for that girl. I'm not saying you need her approval (like Panda said, you don't) but if you choose to do that without speaking about it with her, the situation will get worse. She clearly is affected by that, this is why you need to talk but don't forget it's your own life and if you're unhappy to not be with that girl, just go with her. Clarify things with her, it's important. Sisters or brothers won't always agree with us...

And since when is that girl not with her ex-boyfriend ? 2-3 monthes ? It's time for your sister to get over it.

I hope my message is not too blunt but your situation is unfair, imo.

 

[GrySun]

Oh boy, a confession thread exists? Makes me wonder why people would confess things here.

 

[Charlie]

Oh boy, a confession thread exists? Makes me wonder why people would confess things here.

Its good to get things off your chest sometime with some degree of anonymity as well. ^^

 

[GrySun]

Its good to get things off your chest sometime with some degree of anonymity as well. ^^

You think so, Charles? Eh, I don't think I'd feel any better or relieved to confess things. Although it could help if you're seeking advice on something, but depending on what that something is, you may be confessing/asking at the wrong place

 

[Charlie]

You think so, Charles? Eh, I don't think I'd feel any better or relieved to confess things. Although it could help if you're seeking advice on something, but depending on what that something is, you may be confessing/asking at the wrong place

Yes, don't really see the validity of your concern, Grysun.
That is the whole point of the confessionals thread lol, airing out something that's been on your mind or want to let out or asking for advice.
Granted - if this is... lets say fb or something like that where the other parties involved "know" who you are in RL... maybe it would be a choice for concern.
However, everyone is different, right? For some, myself no exception - its good to air things out once in a while and "put it out there", if you will.

 

[GrySun]

Yes, don't really see the validity of your concern, Grysun.
That is the whole point of the confessionals thread lol, airing out something that's been on your mind or want to let out or asking for advice.
Granted - if this is... lets say fb or something like that where the other parties involved "know" who you are in RL... maybe it would be a choice for concern.
However, everyone is different, right? For some, myself no exception - its good to air things out once in a while and "put it out there", if you will.

It's not a concern, I'm just wondering is all. You're right, I can see the gist of it now and I see how it could be useful to some people, but still... Yeah, everyone is different as you say.

 

[YumaKuga]

Oh boy, a confession thread exists? Makes me wonder why people would confess things here.

It helps to have people comfort the person. Hence a confession thread.

 

[Copy Panda]

You think so, Charles? Eh, I don't think I'd feel any better or relieved to confess things. Although it could help if you're seeking advice on something, but depending on what that something is, you may be confessing/asking at the wrong place

I feel like in function it's more of a feedback or 'complain-your-heart-out' thread than actually 'confessing' to something

 

[M3J]

Naomi, go for it. If it makes you happy, do it. Your sister will get over it. Or do it behind her back.

Unless she's into the girl too. then you're kinda fucked.

 

[Notice me Escanor senpai]

Nah she needs to rub it in her face, I don't understand why she's so against it.

But then again my relationship with my sister isn't that good, so I don't see why anyone should sacrifice their own happiness because of their brother or sister.

 

[Copy Panda]

no need to antagonize the sister

given that naomi had a good relationship with her, she can't be all bad. that's she against this means it likely goes against some core values or so, it's not like she's deliberately wishing for nao's unhappiness. imo, she should just talk with her sister about it, and move on based on that. likely that means simply going out with the girl anyway as there shouldnt be a lot of meaningful arguments neechan can provide which would make naomi not go for the girl.

 

[Notice me Escanor senpai]

no need to antagonize the sister

given that naomi had a good relationship with her, she can't be all bad. that's she against this means it likely goes against some core values or so, it's not like she's deliberately wishing for nao's unhappiness. imo, she should just talk with her sister about it, and move on based on that. likely that means simply going out with the girl anyway as there shouldnt be a lot of meaningful arguments neechan can provide which would make naomi not go for the girl.

I think the issue with the sister is that she's siding with her boyfriend, who has a friend who used to go out with the girl. I hope I got that correctly.
I don't think it's her core values, and even if it were it still doesn't justify why she would be against it. If your brother or sister was gay, you'd still want them to be happy right? Family is supposed to come first. So it could be that the sister is instead taking a stand with the boyfriend's friend.
Either way it's a pretty complicated situation, and I just hope that the girl is really worth it. Also would do the sister react so badly if Naomi decided to go out with that girl? I mean yeah she doesn't look happy about it, but it might be worth it to have an open discussion with her, to really know why she's so against it.
And I don't think going out with the girl behind the sister's back will solve the issue, as suggested earlier by someone. One way or another she'll find out, so it could just be borrowing time really.

 

[Hardy]

Me: *girls never like me. ever*

Girl: *likes me. i like her.*
Girl: *is my sister's best friend and my guy friend's ex-girlfriend*

Sister: *is apparently grossed out by the idea of me and girl. drops subtle hints about it constantly. start being passive aggressive about it and sub-blogs about it*

Me: starts to notice sister's dislike of the situation.
Me: cares more about my sister than anyone.
Me: torn between wanting to have a chance at romance and caring about my sister's feelings
Me: cries myself to sleep three nights in a row and drinks too much drinks.
Me: leaves sister's house early because i couldn't be around her and Girl at the same time anymore
Me: just wants to be alone. all of the time.


Sister: *calls* What's up? You ok?
Me: yeah. i'm fine. why do you even ask?


Fuck everything. Just fuck it.

I'm currently agreeing with Panda.

If there is something I've learnt about problems, is that people don't talk about them enough (and in most cases, they don't at all).

Be transparent to your sister, tell her how much it matters to you, how much of your heart is into it; and how her current reactions towards its possibility, considering how much you love your sis and how important she is in your life, hurt you . She might be currently seeing it just as a fatuous silly thing, when in reality it's way deeper.

She very likely wants you to be happy, but it's not aware of how the situation really is. Don't do anything behind her, but don't give up on it either, at all. It's certainly a complicated situation but nothing out of this world, have faith in yourself ^^

I kinda suck at leaving all my thoughts in just one message, I'm a bit better during a proper chat, but I hope my point of view helped you.

 

[Copy Panda]

I think the issue with the sister is that she's siding with her boyfriend, who has a friend who used to go out with the girl. I hope I got that correctly.
I don't think it's her core values, and even if it were it still doesn't justify why she would be against it. If your brother or sister was gay, you'd still want them to be happy right? Family is supposed to come first. So it could be that the sister is instead taking a stand with the boyfriend's friend.
Either way it's a pretty complicated situation, and I just hope that the girl is really worth it. Also would do the sister react so badly if Naomi decided to go out with that girl? I mean yeah she doesn't look happy about it, but it might be worth it to have an open discussion with her, to really know why she's so against it.
And I don't think going out with the girl behind the sister's back will solve the issue, as suggested earlier by someone. One way or another she'll find out, so it could just be borrowing time really.

@ bolded part - honestly, those are your own views and ideas. Not everyone looks at things that way, and that's fine. There's a certain reality to the situation, and all Nao has to do, for now (like you said), is talk about it with her sister. In my opinion, if she knows where her sister stands on things, she can explain exactly how she feels. Hardy's post says it all really. If neechan is siding with boyfriend, even though it hurts, there's no actual reason for Nao to worry about it: eventually the boyfriend phase will pass anyhow. If it's something inherent that stings, Nao can just explain her feelings.

Also yeah, going out behind the sisters back is arguably one of the worst options - like you said, you're borrowing time. Not only will the sister be confronted by what she didn't want to see all of a sudden, she'll find out that Nao didn't trust her enough to tell her etc, strenuous for the relationship, very toxic advice imo. Did anyone say that though? Must have missed it.

 

[Machi-tan]

Family is a toughie, we known them all our lives, and even if they are clearly in the wrong... their opinion of a situation makes us reconsider wtf we are doing, for better or for worse.

I can relate. My parents are backwards and so old fashion that 99% of the time they have an issue with girls i date. Whether its something superficial like tattoos or colored hair. Or something that i honestly get pissed at them for bringing up like race or religion. After a while i learned that family is essential for helping you grow into your true self, however they shouldn't have much weight in your romantic life.

Having family dictate who you date and how you date makes life so much harder, after a while my parents don't even ask about my dating life, which might suck to some people but honestly i know my folks enough to say that if they knew the women i dated they'd find SOME issue to bitch about.

After i while i developed a 'fuck it' type of attitude towards their views.

A sibling might be different because they are more like a friend than Authority so you might feel as if you are losing a friend but everything in moderation you know? I'm not sure if i missed 'why' your sister is up in arms, i'm assuming is because of your sexual orientation because thats' where the comments above seem to steer (correct me if I'm wrong)

but she'll have to face the music sooner or later. Better to hash it out now, however you choose, than wait til later.

 

[Notice me Escanor senpai]

@ bolded part - honestly, those are your own views and ideas. Not everyone looks at things that way, and that's fine. There's a certain reality to the situation, and all Nao has to do, for now (like you said), is talk about it with her sister. In my opinion, if she knows where her sister stands on things, she can explain exactly how she feels. Hardy's post says it all really. If neechan is siding with boyfriend, even though it hurts, there's no actual reason for Nao to worry about it: eventually the boyfriend phase will pass anyhow. If it's something inherent that stings, Nao can just explain her feelings.

Also yeah, going out behind the sisters back is arguably one of the worst options - like you said, you're borrowing time. Not only will the sister be confronted by what she didn't want to see all of a sudden, she'll find out that Nao didn't trust her enough to tell her etc, strenuous for the relationship, very toxic advice imo. Did anyone say that though? Must have missed it.

Yes here.

Naomi, go for it. If it makes you happy, do it. Your sister will get over it. Or do it behind her back.

Unless she's into the girl too. then you're kinda fucked.

I think it has a good chance of backfiring. Let's say if she were to talk to her honestly, she might be able to convince her that it's not such a bad idea. But if from the get go she avoids the talk, and goes behind her back, there's virtually no chance for her to bring her sister to accept the relationship.

 

[M3J]

Something's gotta give though, and it shouldn't be Naomi's feelings for the girl. It's not fair to Naomi.

 

[Notice me Escanor senpai]

Something's gotta give though, and it shouldn't be Naomi's feelings for the girl. It's not fair to Naomi.

The best course imo is have an honest conversation with her sister. If she's still against it then she should follow what her instinct tells her.

 

[Naomi]

What other consequences, apart from your sisters unhappiness, would there for you? Like, would there be other social backlash?

You'll never find happiness if you rely that much on other people for directions, but those are just my two cents on the matter.

Potentially. Girl (I'll name her Lara) broke up with her ex (wel'll call him Josh) and Josh is definitely not over her. Josh is part of our circle of friends. I don't know how he would feel if he ever found out that Lara dumped him because she realized she wanted to date me due to an innocent truth or dare kiss at a party. I feel fucking guilty about that still.

I know, but I would literally throw myself under a bus for any of my sisters. My sister is 7000% more important to me than any guy or any girl.

I completely agree with Panda. Your sister is being passive-agressive ? Geez, this is no good for you, she is just avoiding the topic but still try to mark her disapproval and make you feel bad (unintentionnaly or not). You should have a talk with her (even if she is not going to like that but the situation can't stay in standby) if you want to go for that girl. I'm not saying you need her approval (like Panda said, you don't) but if you choose to do that without speaking about it with her, the situation will get worse. She clearly is affected by that, this is why you need to talk but don't forget it's your own life and if you're unhappy to not be with that girl, just go with her. Clarify things with her, it's important. Sisters or brothers won't always agree with us...

And since when is that girl not with her ex-boyfriend ? 2-3 monthes ? It's time for your sister to get over it.

I hope my message is not too blunt but your situation is unfair, imo.

It's been about a month. I've been told that she left him with the pretense that they might get back together. I don't know what that's about.

Oh boy, a confession thread exists? Makes me wonder why people would confess things here.

Well I've never met any of you in real life other than kdowns, so it's somewhat anonymous.

I feel like in function it's more of a feedback or 'complain-your-heart-out' thread than actually 'confessing' to something

I complain a shit ton, but I've confessed some big things here, too. I'd say it's both.

Naomi, go for it. If it makes you happy, do it. Your sister will get over it. Or do it behind her back.

Unless she's into the girl too. then you're kinda fucked.

My sister is the straightest person I know. She wouldn't even fuck Emma Watson. Not even J-Law. WHO WOULDN'T FUCK J-LAW????

Nah she needs to rub it in her face, I don't understand why she's so against it.

But then again my relationship with my sister isn't that good, so I don't see why anyone should sacrifice their own happiness because of their brother or sister.

What??? No! I love my sister! She's my best friend! HOS BEFORE BROS!

no need to antagonize the sister

given that naomi had a good relationship with her, she can't be all bad. that's she against this means it likely goes against some core values or so, it's not like she's deliberately wishing for nao's unhappiness. imo, she should just talk with her sister about it, and move on based on that. likely that means simply going out with the girl anyway as there shouldnt be a lot of meaningful arguments neechan can provide which would make naomi not go for the girl.

You're right. I just need to confront her about it. Ugh. We're going on a road trip this weekend with "Lara" and my youngest sister, so that's going to be interesting. We'll see how this goes.

But you're right. My sister has many redeeming qualities. WAY more good than bad. I've never seen this side of her (at least not while I'm involved directly), so that's why I'm having so much trouble with the situation. xP

I think the issue with the sister is that she's siding with her boyfriend, who has a friend who used to go out with the girl. I hope I got that correctly.
I don't think it's her core values, and even if it were it still doesn't justify why she would be against it. If your brother or sister was gay, you'd still want them to be happy right? Family is supposed to come first. So it could be that the sister is instead taking a stand with the boyfriend's friend.
Either way it's a pretty complicated situation, and I just hope that the girl is really worth it. Also would do the sister react so badly if Naomi decided to go out with that girl? I mean yeah she doesn't look happy about it, but it might be worth it to have an open discussion with her, to really know why she's so against it.
And I don't think going out with the girl behind the sister's back will solve the issue, as suggested earlier by someone. One way or another she'll find out, so it could just be borrowing time really.

My sister isn't siding with her boyfriend. At least I don't think so. I think this is the problem. My sister's best friend is into me. It's like.... maybe having her sisters date? It's weird for her that way maybe.... Or she's mentioned that she's jealous to an extent. Like we're going to be so in love and have so much fun without her. ;; But that's not even true. They hang out alone all of the time. I never had a jealous thought about it.

This is the weird part. My youngest sister is completely gay. Never even looked at a guy. I'm bisexual. For some reason, I get the vibe that my sister feels weird about me being bisexual, but not about my youngest sister being gay. At least, that's the vibe I get. I wouldn't know because I can't talk about my fucking feelings out loud to anyone, not even my family. It's so rare and weird for me. They're like "Naomi is talking about feelings! WTF!!"

Maybe that's the real issue here.

 

[Notice me Escanor senpai]

Potentially. Girl (I'll name her Lara) broke up with her ex (wel'll call him Josh) and Josh is definitely not over her. Josh is part of our circle of friends. I don't know how he would feel if he ever found out that Lara dumped him because she realized she wanted to date me due to an innocent truth or dare kiss at a party. I feel fucking guilty about that still.

I know, but I would literally throw myself under a bus for any of my sisters. My sister is 7000% more important to me than any guy or any girl.



It's been about a month. I've been told that she left him with the pretense that they might get back together. I don't know what that's about.



Well I've never met any of you in real life other than kdowns, so it's somewhat anonymous.



I complain a shit ton, but I've confessed some big things here, too. I'd say it's both.



My sister is the straightest person I know. She wouldn't even fuck Emma Watson. Not even J-Law. WHO WOULDN'T FUCK J-LAW????



What??? No! I love my sister! She's my best friend! HOS BEFORE BROS!



You're right. I just need to confront her about it. Ugh. We're going on a road trip this weekend with "Lara" and my youngest sister, so that's going to be interesting. We'll see how this goes.

But you're right. My sister has many redeeming qualities. WAY more good than bad. I've never seen this side of her (at least not while I'm involved directly), so that's why I'm having so much trouble with the situation. xP



My sister isn't siding with her boyfriend. At least I don't think so. I think this is the problem. My sister's best friend is into me. It's like.... maybe having her sisters date? It's weird for her that way maybe.... Or she's mentioned that she's jealous to an extent. Like we're going to be so in love and have so much fun without her. ;; But that's not even true. They hang out alone all of the time. I never had a jealous thought about it.

This is the weird part. My youngest sister is completely gay. Never even looked at a guy. I'm bisexual. For some reason, I get the vibe that my sister feels weird about me being bisexual, but not about my youngest sister being gay. At least, that's the vibe I get. I wouldn't know because I can't talk about my fucking feelings out loud to anyone, not even my family. It's so rare and weird for me. They're like "Naomi is talking about feelings! WTF!!"

Maybe that's the real issue here.

Yeah it is pretty weird, that she's pretty much ok with your younger sister being gay, and not with you being bisexual...Yeah I would say that's the main problem. Without talking about it you can't know for sure.