I'll follow you into the dark

[Dried Ambrosia]

Re: Respect your elders. They made it through school without Google or Wikipedia.

Nishee ...looking forward to the series ...who knows ....maybe it will as famous as ASOIAF

 

[riki]

Re: Respect your elders. They made it through school without Google or Wikipedia.

I doubt it would be as popular as that series, but thanks.

 

[Farfalla]

Re: Respect your elders. They made it through school without Google or Wikipedia.

We can always promote it *-*

 

[riki]

Re: Respect your elders. They made it through school without Google or Wikipedia.

That's true, I guess. ^^; If you want to share the story, that's fine.

Oh, I just updated the archive by posting the title for the first chapters. I figure I better post them before I forget.

 

[Farfalla]

Re: Respect your elders. They made it through school without Google or Wikipedia.

xD
I do wanna share it, ty^^
I'll let you know the response *-*

 

[riki]

Re: Respect your elders. They made it through school without Google or Wikipedia.

Hopefully it will be good. :bag

Anyway, another snippet since it has been awhile:

Spoiler

The next day was the worst day of her life. Kejuta decided to go back to work even though she should spend the day recuperating because she was feeling restless. Not to mention the fact that she needed to talk to her friends to reassure them that she's harmless. As she walked through the now green fields, she noticed that the other slaves scurried away from her and they would stare at her with gaping mouths when they were at a safe distance from her. Trying to ignore them, she pretended that she wasn't bother by their behavior and continue to search for her friends.

Finally, she found them gathering carrots. They were talking and laughing as they plucked the vegetable from the ground. Suddenly, Pilur looked up and saw Kejuta approaching them; she tugged at Resma's sleeve and pointed at her. Her friends then became quiet and subtle abruptly while they continued doing their work. Kejuta waved at them and they returned her wave, albeit halfheartedly. At least they acknowledge me, she thought hopefully and went up to them.

Yeah, I'm still writing the flashback.

 

[Dried Ambrosia]

Re: Respect your elders. They made it through school without Google or Wikipedia.

I want moooooaaaarr .....and Riki ...those names are awesome ..where do you get your inspiration for those names??

 

[riki]

Re: Respect your elders. They made it through school without Google or Wikipedia.

Uhh... I'll try my best to explain it.

Here is one way:
First, I think of the first letter that I want my character's name to have.
After I got that letter, I phonetically sound out the name to make sure that it's easy to pronounce by everyone and arrange the letters until I spelled the name in the way that it sounds.
That is how I got Kejuta and Roku's names among others.

The second way is more simple:
I got inspire by other words.
For example, Thesben is based on the word, "thespian", Pendance is from "penance", and another character (who will be introduced in the second chapter), Aundra, was inspired by the word "laundry".

*EDIT* I almost forgot the last way:
I took a person's name and rework it to make it sound more "fantasy-like" (e.g. Mathes -> Matthew)

---------- Post added at 02:43 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:57 AM ----------

Here is another snippet. I reworked a previous snippet. FYI, romance scene is not my forte. *ugh*

Spoiler

For the next year, Kejuta and Thesben had their nightly talks in which they talked about their day, their fears, their hopes, and dreams. Then, one night, Thesben asked out of the blues, "Hey, Kejuta, how do you feel about me?"

She looked at him speechlessly before she could sputter, "Wh-what did you just ask?" Patiently Thesben repeated his question and waited for her answer. Her feelings? Toward him? She really enjoyed his company and his affable personality. Not to mention he was very patient and supportive of her whenever she felt depressed or lonely. "I really... enjoy having you around," a blushing Kejuta finally replied. “Why do you ask?”

Upon hearing those words, he gave a look of relief. “It’s because I feel the same way as well,” he confessed. “If you don’t mind me for being nosy, but I have two questions. First, do you like me as a close friend?”

Kejuta smiled and answered, “Of course.” She felt herself blushing for some reason so she hid her face behind her hair. “Next?”

Thesben took a deep breath and inquired, “Do you like me more than a close friend?”

“Yes, I do,” she blurted out without thinking. She covered her mouth in surprise. Oh gods, what was she saying? What if he doesn’t like her that way? “Ummm… why are you asking these questions?”
He placed his hands on her and gave her a warm smile. “It’s because I feel the same way too,” he explained. “Kej, after spending times with you, I realize that I…” he gulped and continued, “I really care for you! If it’s all right with you, may I spend a little more time getting to know you?”

“You mean be a couple?” Kejuta squeaked and he nodded. “I-I don’t know what to say! This is so unexpected!”

“Please say ‘yes,’ he pleaded, which caused her to laugh. His puppy eyes look was so adorable that she couldn’t resist.

She finally declared, “Yes, I want to be with you. Are you happy now?” He responded by kissing her on her lips; she could still feel the warm presence of his mouth on her lips after he pulled away from her. It was a nice sensation and she didn’t want to forget it. Before he could react, she placed her arms around him and kissed him in return.

Oh, I'm debating whether or not to divide chapter 1 into two or three parts since it's already 11 pages and I'm not even halfway done.

Opinions?

 

[goldb]

Re: Respect your elders. They made it through school without Google or Wikipedia.

Reading the 2, I think I liked the 1st version more, yes it was cheesy but it worked somehow. I think you need to find a middle ground between the 2 versions but lean more towards the first one.

In terms of diving the story, of course it makes sense since you're 11 pages into the first chapter and you're not done yet But first finish the whole chapter if you can, then you can have a better view of how and where to divide them.

 

[riki]

Re: Respect your elders. They made it through school without Google or Wikipedia.

I should clarify it. I added that part before the 1st version to make the romance less rushed. ^^

As for the chapter, I divided it into two. The second part will be chapter 2 instead and its title has been posted in the archive.

---------- Post added at 07:51 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:10 PM ----------

Oh, I almost forgot. Here is another snippet:

Spoiler

As she watched Tyleo walked back to the slave quarters, Kejuta noted, “I like her. She’s the only one who is still friendly toward me and doesn’t care that I’m ‘different.’ If we have another child, I hope she will still be around to help.”

Her husband agreed, “She’s a great help all right. By the way, how is the baby?” He knelt down next to her and held out a finger so the baby could grasp it. Her bright blue eyes gazed up curiously at her father while he stroked her silvery blonde hair.

“She’s doing well,” Kejuta beamed as she rocked the baby. Who would have thought something this small can be so wondrous? “In fact, she looks actually like my sister. She even has her eyes and hair.”

Thesben then inquired, “What was your sister’s name?”

“Adia,” she answered. “It means ‘joyful’ in the Alethesian language if I recall correctly.”

“‘Adia’… I like that. Why don’t we name her that?” he suggested.

“I would love that,” she replied kindly. Kejuta handed the newly named baby to her husband who gingerly held her.

Looking into her eyes, he whispered, “Welcome to the world, Adia.”

Two more parts and then flashback is over!

 

[Farfalla]

Re: Respect your elders. They made it through school without Google or Wikipedia.

 

[riki]

Re: Respect your elders. They made it through school without Google or Wikipedia.



I wish my cats would act that way.

 

[Farfalla]

Re: Respect your elders. They made it through school without Google or Wikipedia.

Me too *-*
But mine would only be a sweet heart like that to his food bowl o.o

 

[riki]

Re: Respect your elders. They made it through school without Google or Wikipedia.

Speaking of food bowl...



Damn, I missed those kitties!

 

[Farfalla]

Re: Respect your elders. They made it through school without Google or Wikipedia.

AWN Ç.Ç
Did you have any words on them?
Was that one Serah?

 

[riki]

Re: Respect your elders. They made it through school without Google or Wikipedia.

Nope, the last thing I've heard was that all of them were adopted within three days.

And that one was your favorite, Welkin.

 

[Farfalla]

Re: Respect your elders. They made it through school without Google or Wikipedia.

Oh! Once I confused Welkin with another one xD God, I love the color of his eyes @.@
Hope he'll let you know about them T.T

 

[riki]

Re: Respect your elders. They made it through school without Google or Wikipedia.

Hopefully, but I don't know. I don't think he'll keep tabs on them since they're already sold.

 

[Farfalla]

Re: Respect your elders. They made it through school without Google or Wikipedia.

But maybe they'll be that vet's clients xD So the vet would have a history on them and could share with your neighbor /o/

 

[riki]

Re: Respect your elders. They made it through school without Google or Wikipedia.

Maybe. That might work.

---------- Post added May 27, 2012 at 06:05 PM ---------- Previous post was May 26, 2012 at 10:18 PM ----------

Good news: The chapter is finished!
Bad news: It's little over 21 pages long so it will probably take you guys a couple of days. Good thing I decided to divide the chapter, huh?

Good news: Here is a snippet from the second chapter. I've already written it down beforehand:

Spoiler

While Kejuta was wringing the towel, her son suddenly spoke, "While I was... dead, I had a dream." She stopped what she was doing and turned to look at him. Pendance was staring at the fire contemplatively while stroking his older sister's hair gently. A dream? Kejuta always has one when she died so why shouldn't he? Wiping the sweat off his forehead, she whispered softly, "And what did you dream about?"

"I was in a strange land where no sounds seem to exist," he began slowly. "Maybe it was because I was dead, but everything seems to be black and white. Millions of people were walking around me so it was hard for me to move around. I was so confused on where I was so I decided to talk to them. However, they just averted their eyes and continued on their way. Not knowing what to do, I looked up and saw a man sitting on a throne with a familiar man standing beside him. For some reason, I knew that I needed to go there so I walked toward them. As I was walking up the stairs, I suddenly realized who the man standing was - it was father."

Kejuta froze when she heard those words. Her son's dream was much, much different from hers - she dreamed of her past but her son was dreaming of another place. Finding her words, she inquired hesitantly, "A-and... what did he say?"

Bad news: I don't think there won't be any snippet anytime this week since I need to work on the video game news digest for this month.