Help Request a Full Translation Check

Chibi-Chibi

Registered User
初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner
Joined
Nov 21, 2008
Messages
6
Reaction score
0
Gender
Hidden
Country
Slovenia
Re: Translation checker for Fiona's Travels

I know it's not. If i'd want written word that badly i'd try to translate Genji monogatari to my language, which is actually one of my goals as well, and in fact i tried but i gave up after first sentence, both the old and new version.
Rally Fiona's Travels are fine for now. My brains struggle right about the right amount while trying to translate the diary :D

Thank you very much for the suggestion, i think that is exactly what i'll do ... starting next week since i'd like to work on the text a bit, in case something new pops up in my mind :)
 

Winterk423

Registered User
初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner
Joined
Jan 31, 2010
Messages
5
Reaction score
0
Gender
Female
Country
United States
Translation Grammar Question

I'm not quite sure how to describe this, so bare with me...

So, in a panel, there are two text boxes that are connected. A smaller box attached to a bigger box. The small box is what you read first, and it gives a location, the larger box, what you read next, gives the setting of the story.

My question is, the translation would flow better if I didn't put the location first, but would that ruin feel that the mangaka is trying to portray?

If that didn't make sense at all, please tell me to clarify. Thanks!
 

Ju-da-su

Intl Translator
英雄メンバー / Eiyuu Menbaa / Hero Member
Joined
Jun 28, 2007
Messages
1,279
Reaction score
989
Age
36
Gender
Hidden
Country
Thailand
Re: Translation Grammar Question

...Why can't you just put the picture to the text...just to make life easier...-_-"
 

Manuellama

Registered User
初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner
Joined
Aug 3, 2009
Messages
1
Reaction score
0
Age
45
Gender
Male
Country
Spain
My first transcription! Chapter 13 of bungaku shoujo pierrot.

The link to the transcription of the chapter 13 of bungaku shoujo pierrot.

Here it is...the link to the chapter 13

I hope the transcription helps someone translating this manga...

I know some Japanese but my translation skills are not so good...yet.

Bye!
 

KazeYuki

Registered User
初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner
Joined
Dec 27, 2009
Messages
19
Reaction score
0
Gender
Hidden
Country
New Zealand
First Translation I'd like to get some to check it.

This is my first time attempting to translate. It's a shoujo manga called La Corda d'Oro.

Could someone check my work, correct the parts I'm not sure about, and critique it? I'm still learning Japanese and I'm wondering if I'm good enough to translate yet.

La Corda d'Oro chapter 62 translation

Page 1

あなたとの思い出、 増えるといいな。
I'll be great if my memories with you could increase.

Page 2

Fuyumi - Are you alright, Kaho-senpai?

Page 3

緊張しちゃって。。。
Hino - I'm nervous...
久しぶりだから。。。その
(Because) It's been a long time/while since I've done this...

それにしても緊張しすぎるだろう
Ryotarou - Even so, you're too nervous.
ったく。。。こっちまできんちょうするだろうが。。。
Geez...to get nervous at this point/here...

おやおや
Yunoki - My, my

みんなついてるよっ日野ちゃん
Hihara - Everyone will be with you, Hino-chan!

だって。。。
HIno - But...
ミスしたら 吉羅理事 怖そうだしなあ
If I make mistakes, Kira-riji will be scary...
Hah (breathe out)

それに
客席も。。。

たくさん 入ったね!
HIhara - There are so many people! (Lot's of people have come!)
宣伝効果あったかな?
Is this the impact of publicity/propaganda?

満員だし
HIno - And it's packed...(it's a full house/crowded/full of people)
うわあ~やっぱり緊張する~~
Ahhhh---- I'm so nervous------

緊張するけど
I'm nervous but
頑張らなくちゃ
I must try my best.
だって。。。
Because...

Page 4

このメンバーで演奏するのは  最後かもしれない。。。
It may be the last time
I can perform with these people...

Page 5
sfx: waaahhhhhh
clap clap clap clap clap

なんだか
I feel a little/It's a little
さみしい
...lonely/lonesome...

Page 6

よ。。。よかったあ目立ったミスはそんなに。。。
Hino - I'm...I'm so glad.
My mistakes didn't stand out that much...
ないハズ
Probably...
sfx: Haahh(breathe out)
wah wah wah wah
clapping

平気だって かほちゃん!
Hihara - It's cool/fine, Kaho-chan!
大丈夫大丈夫
It's okay, it's okay.

月森くn次だよね
Hihara - Tsukimori-kun, you're next, right?
がんばってね
Good luck.

Tsukimori - Oh...
はい
Okay.

Hino - ...Good luck.

Page 7
Tsukimori - Ah...

Page 8-9
スケルツォ タランテラ。。。か
Yunoki - Scherzo tarantela...huh?

第2セレクションで弾けなかった曲だよな。。。たしか
Tsuchiura - (If I remember correctly,) It's the piece he didn't play in the second selection...

Someone - Wow...
さすが巧いな。。。
As expected, it's amazing/skilful...

Page 10

sfx: waah...

選曲も月森らしいな
Tsuchiura - That choice of song is very Tsukimori too. (I think it means that it's like Tsukimori to choose that kind of song)
すごく難しい曲だもんね
Hihara - It's a very difficult piece.
この曲
That piece is.

もう一曲だよね
Hino's Accompanist - He's going to play one more.
I wonder what he'll play.

Mori - Yeah

やっぱり超絶技巧曲 。。。って感じかな?
Don't you have/get a feeling/impression/sense he'll play a piece that will show off his excellent technique?

Ah
始まる
He's starting.

Page 11

へえ。。。 意外
Mori - heay(Eh)...(how) suprising/unexpected

Page 12

Shimizu - Ave Maria...

かほちゃんが 最終セレクションで弾いた曲だよね。。。
Hihara - It's the piece Kaho-chan played during the last selection...

でも。。。 何だか意外な選曲だえ
Yunoki - But... It's kind of a suprising he chose that piece./It's kind of unexpected he chose that piece.
月森くんのことだから もっと派手テンポの速い曲をもってくると思ったよ
Because it's Tsukimori-kun(we're talking about), I thought he'd a choose a piece that was more flashy/showy and had a fast tempo.


Page 13

なんだか。。。
Person - It's kind of/somewhat...

うん
Mori - Yeah...

雰囲気変わった?
The atmostphere/mood changed?

あいつ。。。
Tsuchiura - He's...
うまくなったな。。。
become good at this... (I'm assuming he's saying that Tsukimori has gotten good at playing songs that show emotion etc rather than just technical skill)

Page 14

Sfx: waaaaa
waaaa

あっと。。。
Hihara - It all happened...
いう間だったな
so fast.../in a blink of an eye...


Yunoki - Huh?

。。。いや。。。さ
Hihara - No...
高校最後の文化祭だなって思って
I was thinking about how it's already our last high school cultural festival.

Page 15

特に3年生になってからは早かったなあ。。。
Hihara - Especially, after becoming 3rd years, time has passed so fast...

そうだよね 今年は学内コンクールもあったし
Yunoki - That's true. And this year also had the interschool concours.

うん
Hihara - Yes.
まさか自分が選ばれるなんて思ってなかったからビックリだよ
I was surprised because I never would have thought that I could have been chosen.

でも
But...
楽しかったなあ
It was fun.

そうだ柚木 今年は後夜祭のダンスはいいの?
Oh yeah, Yunoki. Will you be fine at this year's dance?
昨年はかわるがわる踊ってたじゃん
Last year, didn't you dance, one after another?

Yunoki - Ah...
今年はコンサートもあるし遠慮させてもらったんだ
This year, I participated in the concert so I'm refraining myself form going.
火原こそどうするの?
Hihara, what will you do?

おれ!?
Hihara - Me!?
おれは恥ずかしくって ダンスとか。。。。。
I'll feel embarassed, and a dance... (I don't know if I've translated this right)

そういえば。。。
Yunoki - Come to think of it...加地くんが日野さんを誘ったみたいだね
It appears that Kaji-kun invited Hino-san to the dance.

Page 16

。。。。。え?
Hihara - ...What?
コンサートも無事緒わって。。。良かったですね
Fuyumi - I glad that... the concert ended with no problems.

だな
Tsuchiura - Same.
この後は。。。これから後夜祭あるだけか
Now next... There's just the after festival dance.
大きなイベントは
It's a big event.

Hino - Ah!
そうだった
That!

Kaji - Hino-san

Hino - Kaji-kun.
どうしたんの
Is something wrong?

うん
Kaji - Yes.
じつは
Actually...
コレを日野さんに来てもらおうと思って
I thought I'd get you to wear this.
持って来たんだ
So I brought it.

バサッ

じゃん
sfx: ta-daa

Page 17

無っ無理だよ
Hino - I---I can't!
ジュリエットの衣装じゃないっ
Isn't that Juliet's costume?

似合うと思ってかりてきちゃった
Kaji - I thought it'll suit you so I borrowed it.
ちゃんと衣装の子には了解もらってきたから
Because I wanted to get the person, the costume is for, to properly wear it.

やっやややややでもっ。。。。。!!
Hino - BbbbbbbbbBut!

Page 18

Gen Ed school 2nd year, class 2
ロミオとジュリエット衣装
Romeo and Juliet

ナゼ俺たちまで?
Tsuchiura - Why do we have to do this?

似合う似合う
Small words: It suits you guys.

だって! 折角 作ったのにもったいないじゃない
Kaji - Because! They took so much trouble to make it, we can't not use them.

後夜祭へようこそ!
Commentator - Welcome to the event of the last day of the festival!
それでは皆様ハートナーの手をとり
Now everyone, take your partner's hand,
今宵素敵なひとときを
This evening/tonight have a wonderful time...

。。。あれ?
Hino - ...Huh?

Page 19

...Um
Hino - Er...
Shimizu-kun...?

sfx: bump

Hino - Ah!
Sorry

ダメだよ 志水くん
Kaji - You can't do that Shimizu-kun.
今日は僕が先約なんだ
I reserved her tonight.

Hino - Kaji-kun.

Page 20-21

何やてんだよ 志水
Tsuchiura - What were you doing, Shimizu?
相変わらず突拍子ねえな
You're as unpredictable as always.

。。。って
...And-
俺!?
me?!

ダ。。。ダンスなんて踊れないだけど
Hino - I can't dance but

大丈夫だよ
Kaji - It's alright.
僕がリードするから
Because I'll lead
そのまま力を抜いて
At this rate, you'll be able... (I'm unsure about this translation)

そうそう
Yes Yes.
その調子
Like that.

Girl behind - Ah!

Hino- I'm, I'm sorry, Kaji-kun!
おもいっきりふんじやった
As I thought, I stepped on you. (probably wong)

オイ 危ないだろう
Someone - Oi, That's dangerous.
気をつけてくれよ
Be careful.

Hino - Ah!
すみません!
I'm sorry!

ちょっとそんな所でとまらないでよ
Someone- Hey wait, you can't stop here.

Hino - Sorry!

Page 22

近寄りたくねえな。。。
Tsuchiura - I wouldn't want to be near them.../I wouldn't want to go near them...

Hino - I'm sorry, Kaji-kun!

Tsuchiura - Eh?

Hihara - Kaho-chan...!
やっと見つけたあ
I finally found you...

sfx: haa haa haa

Hino - Er
Hihara-senpai?

加地くんズルイとっ!!
Hihara - Kaji-kun, you're sly/cunning/sneaky!!


Page 23

おれとも踊ってください!!
Hihara - Please dance with me too!!
Hino - Eh?!
Ah...
...Okay?

やったあ
Hihara - Yay!

Kaji - Eh Eh Eh Eh?
それこそズルイですよひはらさん
That's sneaky of you too, Hihara-san!

Fuyumi - U...Um
なんだかうっかり。。。
I kind of, carelessly... (I assume it was her who told Hihara where they were)


Page 24

Kanasawa - Tsukimori...?
お前さんこんな日まで練習か
You're practicing even today?

あ。。。はい金沢先生は?
Tsukimori - Ah...Yes. What about you, Kanasawa-sensei?

Kanasawa - Me?

俺は見まわりだよ 程々にして切り上げろよ? 月森
I've been looking around. You're going to finish/stop when you're satisfied with how you're playing, right? Tsukimori (I don't know if this is correct)
めんどくせー
So annoying---

Ah...
なかなか良かったんじゃないか
Your concert performance today
今日のコンサートの演奏。。。とくにアヴェマリア
was pretty good... Especially Ave Maria

じゃなあ
See ya.

Page 25

Hino - Wah
寒う
It's cold.

もう まっ暗だもんね
It's already completely dark.
後夜祭押したからなあ
Because the dance took up so much time.

Yunoki-senpai...?

Yunoki - Hino...?

Page 26

何をしてるんですか こんな所で
Hino - What are you doing in a place like this?

お前こそどうしたんだい
Yunoki - What about you? (Why are you here?)
クラスの片付けは終わったの
Has your class finished cleaning up?

Hino - Ah... Yes.
なので少し練習してから帰ろうかと思って
so thought I'll practice before going home.

へえ。。。
Yunoki - Eh...
殊勝なことだね
How admirable/laudable.

そう言えば柚木先輩夜祭には参加しなかったんですね
Hino - Come to think of it, Yunoki-senpai, you didn't participate in the after festival dance, did you?

ああ
Yunoki - No.

それこそたくさんお誘いを受けなんじゃない?
Hino - Didn't you recieve lots of invitations?
意外ですね柚木先輩が不参加って
It's unexpected/surpising, That you didn't participate

昨年は参加したんだけど
Yunoki - I participated last year but
不公平だろう?
It's unfair, you know?
俺と踊れる子と踊れない子が出来てしまうからね
Because I can dance with people that can dance and even people who can't dance.

とか言ってえ
もしかて踊れないじゃない?
Hino - So you say.
Perhaps, you can't dance?

お前。。。言うようになったね
Yunoki - You're... saying that, huh?

Page 27

確かめてみるかい?
Yunoki - Why don't you to confirm it?

Hino - Eh? B...but

ほら いいから早く
Yunoki - Come on, it's fine so hurry up.
手は肩に軽きおいて
Lightly place your hand on my shoulder
そう。。。
Like this/so...

足ふんでもしりませんよ?
Hino - I don't even know how to move my feet! (This translation is probably wrong because I can't understand what the sentence is saying)

おれの動きにゆっくりとついてくだけだよ
Yunoki - I only moving slowing with you.

ゆっくり
Yunoki - Slowly
ゆっくり。。。
slowly...

Page 28

...

Page 29

て。。。照れる
Hino - I...I feel awkward/shy.

そういうカオをするじゃないよ
Yunoki - Don't make that face.

Hino - ...Eh?

Page 30

苛めたくなるだろう?
Do you/You want me to bully you?

Page 31

まさか。。。高校最後の文化祭
Yunoki - I would never have believed/thought... that for my last high school cultural festival
一番最後にお前といるとはね
the very last person I'd be with would be you.../the person I would be with at the very last, would be you...

柚木先輩のバカアアアア
Hino - Yunoki-senpai, you foooool!/idiooooot!

顔まっ赤だな
Yunoki - You're face is bright red.

HIno - !!
 
Last edited:

Ju-da-su

Intl Translator
英雄メンバー / Eiyuu Menbaa / Hero Member
Joined
Jun 28, 2007
Messages
1,279
Reaction score
989
Age
36
Gender
Hidden
Country
Thailand
Re: First Translation I'd like to get some to check it.

それにしても緊張しすぎるだろう
Ryotarou - Even so, you're too nervous.
ったく。。。こっちまできんちょうするだろうが。。。
Geez...to get nervous at this point/here...
こっち in this context implies the speaker. So, it's actually like "you're making me nervous as well." or something like that...

だって。。。
HIno - But...
ミスしたら 吉羅理事 怖そうだしなあ
If I make mistakes, Kira-riji will be scary...
I think the second sentence needs so fixing with the English...you got the context kind of right already (Kirariji'd be angry (aka. he'll become a really scary guy) at me if I make a mistake), but...sorry, can't really fix the English for you. :p

それに
客席も。。。
I don't have the raw, so I don't really know which is the appropriate words...plud, you don't really say where's the problem with this one, so...guess "audiences"? "And also, the audience seats are...(in the next like: lots of them are filled...kind of continue, but again, I don't know the context... .__.")"?

たくさん 入ったね!
HIhara - There are so many people! (Lot's of people have come!)
宣伝効果あったかな?
Is this the impact of publicity/propaganda?
Impact? .-. ...I think "effective" or "works" (as it, "So our advertisement works out well?") might be a better word to use though, but...up to you. My English isn't good, so usually I don't think I'll comment much on the English. I can only help you in term of accuracy...as much as I could possibly help, which in fact isn't much either... .___."

Hino - I'm...I'm so glad.
My mistakes didn't stand out that much...
ないハズ
Probably...
sfx: Haahh(breathe out)
wah wah wah wah
clapping
I got the feeling that the ないハズ continues from the first two sentences. Can't say anything unless you give me what the first two sentences are... .__."

第2セレクションで弾けなかった曲だよな。。。たしか
Tsuchiura - (If I remember correctly,) It's the piece he didn't play in the second selection...
弾けなかった is a "can't-do" form though (aka. "can't play")? .-.

選曲も月森らしいな
Tsuchiura - That choice of song is very Tsukimori too. (I think it means that it's like Tsukimori to choose that kind of song)
すごく難しい曲だもんね
Hihara - It's a very difficult piece.
この曲
That piece is.
...Yep, that's what that sentence means...:p

やっぱり超絶技巧曲 。。。って感じかな?
Don't you have/get a feeling/impression/sense he'll play a piece that will show off his excellent technique?
...Well, you're on the right track, but...I can't really explain it. Something feels kind of wrong in this sentence. The "feeling" is supposed to describe the music though (like "It got to be some extremely sophiscated music...or something?")...>___<"

なんだか。。。
Person - It's kind of/somewhat...
雰囲気変わった?
The atmostphere/mood changed?
There's no raw, so all I can do is just make some crazy assumption...aren't these two sentence supposed to go together? Like ”なんだか。。。雰囲気変わった?" (Isn't the mood...kind of changed?)...but again, since I don't know whether it's the same speaker or not...>_<"

Page 15

特に5年生になってからは早かったなあ。。。
Hihara - Especially, after becoming 3rd years, time has passed so fast...

そうだよね 今年は学内コンクールもあったし
Yunoki - That's true. And this year also had the interschool concours.
Umm...interschool? 学内 means within the school though? .-.

Yunoki - Ah...
今年はコンサートもあるし遠慮させてもらったんだ
This year, I participated in the concert so I'm refraining myself form going.
火原こそどうするの?
Hihara, what will you do?
..."Participated"? All that's said is that there's also a concert this year though? Doesn't say anything about participating...but well, you know about the manga than I do, so...-_-"

おれ!?
Hihara - Me!?
おれは恥ずかしくって ダンスとか。。。。。
I'll feel embarassed, and a dance... (I don't know if I've translated this right)
So, basically he said he is kind of shy, so he couldn't possibly dance...IMO...just to go with the context...You put it into the sentence yourself. >__<"

だな
Tsuchiura - Same.
この後は。。。これから後夜祭あるだけか
Now next... There's just the after festival dance.
大きなイベントは
It's a big event.
Ummm...."So after this...there's only that after festival dance left right, for the big events"...I don't know how to actually explain it, sorry... .__."

Hino - Ah!
そうだった
That!
I would suggestion something like "true", rather than "that". Since "That!" makes it sound almost like she actually didn't know this before. -_-"

似合うと思ってかりてきちゃった
Kaji - I thought it'll suit you so I borrowed it.
ちゃんと衣装の子にはろ解もらってきたから
Because I wanted to get the person, the costume is for, to properly wear it. (I don't know if this is translated correctly. My translation assumes that Kaji still thinks that Hino is the true Juliet so the costume is hers)
...Can you check if you transcribe it correctly? >___<"

Gen Ed school 2nd year, class 2
ロミオとジュリエット衣装
Romeo and Juliet
...You forgot 衣装... ._."

だって! せっかく 作ったのにもったいないじゃない
Kaji - Because! They took so much trouble to make it, we can't not use them.
"Come on! It takes so much effort into making it, so we shouldn't let it go wasted." Can't explain, sorry...>__<"

後夜祭へようこそ!
Commentator - Welcome to the event of the last day of the festival!
それでは皆様ハートナーの手をとり
Now everyone, take your partner's hand,
今宵素敵なひとときを
This evening/tonight have a wonderful time...
"Let makes tonight a wonderful night" or "Let's all have a wonderful time tonight" would be how I put the last line, but...can't really explain it...>__<"

ダ。。。ダンスなんて踊れないだけど
Hino - I can't dance but
"but"...should go in front of the sentence here...-_-"

Kaji - It's alright.
僕がリードするから
Because I'll lead
そのまま力を抜いて
At this rate, you'll be able... (I'm unsure about this translation)
力を抜く means "to relax (as in, don't be so tense about it. Don't take it so serious...)", so..."Relax yourself, just like that"

Hino- I'm, I'm sorry, Kaji-kun!
おもいっきりふんじやった
As I thought, I stepped on you. (probably wong)
おもいっきり means "of full force; with all one's might"...so guess she must've stepped on him really hard then... .-.


俺は見まわりだよ 程々にして切り上げろよ? 月森
I've been looking around. You're going to finish/stop when you're satisfied with how you're playing, right? Tsukimori (I don't know if this is correct)
めんどくせー
So annoying---
"Go easy on the ending, alright?" I know that my English sucks, but...程々にして is something like "don't overdo yourself; go easy on it" or something like that. .__."

昨年は参加したんだけど
Yunoki - I participated last year but
不公平だろう?
It's unfair, you know?
俺と踊れる子と踊れないこが出来しまうからね
Because I can dance with people that can dance and even people who can't dance.
@_@

俺と踊れる子と踊れないこが出来しまうからね basically means something like...he's saying that if he goes to the dance, there'll end up being the girls who he can dance with and the girls who he couldn't dance with, aka. some kind of dividing up over this guy or something...like saying that he's so popular that the girls might end up fighting over him (just to give you the picture...I'm not that good with explanation after all... .__.")

足ふんでもしりませんよ?
Hino - I don't even know how to move my feet! (This translation is probably wrong because I can't understand what the sentence is saying)
Something like "And don't blame me if I step on your foot"... .-.

おれの動きにゆっくりとついてくだけだよ
Yunoki - I only moving slowing with you.
I think it's her who need to slowly follow the guy's movement... .__."

苛めたくなるだろう?
Do you/You want me to bully you?
The one who is about to bully should be the one who the speaker is talking to (in fact, it's actually "starting to want to tease (the speaker)") So, it's like "Start wanting to tease me now?"

Don't know if that helps much...a couple of things I will suggest though.

1) Most importantly...next time, if you want to ask for someone to look over your translation for you and give you some advices on it, be sure that you at least correctly transcribed the dialogues. When I went to ask for another translator for some suggestions on a certain line, they actually told me that this is just a waste of time, trying to fumble through, checking the translation that doesn't even have the script correctly transcribed. To be honest, it is really hard to help you on accuracy when you clearly get the transcription wrong every other line, since just one particle wrong can get the sentence completely to the opposite meaning. The best way is doubtlessly to upload the raw here so it's actually readable online. If you can't do that, at least be sure that you get the Japanese dialogues correctly typed out.

2) Like I said, I won't comment on the English, since I don't want to risk getting it wrong, but...IMO, your translation sounds a bit...unnatural? Maybe it's just me, but that's what I feel...when looking at some of your sentence...some of them are actually pretty hard to make sense of as well...>_<"
 

KazeYuki

Registered User
初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner
Joined
Dec 27, 2009
Messages
19
Reaction score
0
Gender
Hidden
Country
New Zealand
Re: First Translation I'd like to get some to check it.

Thank you for taking your time to check my translation. Yeah, you're right, the translation does sound pretty unnatural. Whenever I needed to translate for my tests I wasn't marked on english because what was important was getting the meaning correct and having the key words. I'll try to make it sound natural if I translate again.

I read the Japanese wrong and mistook 了for ろ. Here's the correct sentence:
似合うと思ってかりてきちゃった
ちゃんと衣装の子には了解もらってきたから

Er...by the way... What does "IMO" mean?
 

Unproductive

Registered User
下級員 / Kakyuuin / Jr. Member
Joined
Jul 21, 2009
Messages
88
Reaction score
25
Gender
Hidden
Country
United States
Re: Translation Grammar Question

Hmmm, I don't get the problem. Here's what it says, right?

Hong Kong,
with the expiration of the 80 year lease to the British Commonwealth in the year 1997, returns to China.
 

Jakedyl

Banned
初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner
Joined
Feb 8, 2010
Messages
2
Reaction score
0
Gender
Male
Country
United States
Edited Manga Attempt

Hey guys, I'm new here and I just tried Editing Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu. I appreciate all the criticism :D So yeah, here it is.


By when I said the garuda thing, I really mean't it. Its just in case anybody knows. Thanks for viewing it at least! :)
 

Ju-da-su

Intl Translator
英雄メンバー / Eiyuu Menbaa / Hero Member
Joined
Jun 28, 2007
Messages
1,279
Reaction score
989
Age
36
Gender
Hidden
Country
Thailand
Re: Edited Manga Attempt

>_>

Don't know what kind of criticism you really want, since this is the forums for new translator, not Manga Editor. If you want comment on how you did on a particular page of Edited Manga, you should go to the Manga Editor forum, not here. <_<"

But...I think your typesetting is a bit weird, since it seems a bit off to the side of the bubble. While I know nothing about typesetting, IMO, you should have it come more toward the center of the bubble...otherwise, the cleaning seems alright to me (though I tend to be extremely flexible with how clean the Edited Manga is myself anyway...you should go ask some experienced Manga Editor if you want comments on your cleaning... .___.")
 

Jakedyl

Banned
初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner
Joined
Feb 8, 2010
Messages
2
Reaction score
0
Gender
Male
Country
United States
Re: Edited Manga Attempt

Thanks and sorry, this might as well be removed or so, but the problem was I was looking how to get to this page, and I couldn't find it. So I searched it and found it. Turns out I didn't know there was two sections. Sorry and thanks for telling my everything :D
 

Winterk423

Registered User
初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner
Joined
Jan 31, 2010
Messages
5
Reaction score
0
Gender
Female
Country
United States
Re: Translation Grammar Question

*blink blink* wow, I have no idea why I had so much trouble with it...thanks!
 

Popo

Registered User
中級員 / Chuukyuuin / Member
Joined
Aug 30, 2008
Messages
165
Reaction score
435
Gender
Female
Country
Canada
Hunter x Hunter 296 Translation

Pg 1
Hunter x Hunter 296: Memory
I won't betray my friends! The Octopus' excellent simultaneous attack!!

Welfin: Guh/GA/A/A/A/Why the hell did you shoot?!
Welfin: You ASSHOLE!! How DARE YOU!!!/DAMN, THIS HURTS/GODDAMN IT, I'LL KILL YOU!!

Pg 2
Welfin: "The Eggman": Missileman!

Pg 3
Ikalgo: I'm not dead...?/There's not much damage either...What kind of attack was that?
Welfin: YOU BEAST. IT HURTS SO MUCH. GODDAMN IT!!!/Haha.../You FUCKING BEAST.

Welfin: This SHITHEAD...This shit-stinking PEON...Even after using his weakness!!/It's a requirement to haggle; there's no use in defying my Missileman! But he still caught me off guard and attacked!!
Welfin: It's only a flesh wound!!/Heh heh heh...I'll slowly torture you to death.

Pg 4
Ikalgo: He's implanted.../living things inside of my head?!"
Welfin: Heh heh heh. Those creatures born from my Nen ability are called "Black Centipedes."/Your rebellion cultivates their growth.
Welfin: You must follow my orders!! If it so happens that you injure me,/Then whilst feeling the most agonizing pain you'll ever have, they'll burst through your body and take your life!!

Pg 5
Welfin: Wh
Welfin: What the hell are you doing?! Were you even listening just now?!/If you paid any attention at all, you'd know that if you did that...!!

Pg 6
Ikalgo: If that's your command.../then my life has come to an end...!!
Ikalgo: Swuuuuu
Welfin: .../You dumb...STOP!!
Welfin: No...wait. If he's embracing such an intense pain.../That's the greatest act of defiance!!/Most likely, the moment he shoots, the Black Centipedes will burst through until he dies instantly!!

Pg 7
Welfin: Guh/GAAAAAA
Ikalgo: Don't worry...I won't kill you./If you can't move from here, it's cool with me.
Ikalgo: My head...still hasn't...
Welfin: Don't give me that bull, asshole!! I swear, I'll kill you!!/You'll die!! I'll kill you!! AAAAAAAA!!!

Pg 8
Welfin: AAAAAAAA
Ikalgo: Hah.../Hah hah ha ha
Ikalgo: Why am I/At ease?
Ikalgo: Even though I intend to forfeit my life/I wonder why I'm at ease when I'm about to pull the trigger...?

Pg 9
Ikalgo: Swuuuuu
Welfin: ~~~~~~~~
Welfin: STOP!! I got it!! I already understand!!/DON'T MOVE!! I give up!! Please!! DON'T SHOOT!!
Ikalgo: ...?

Pg 10
Black centipedes: Giiiii
Ikalgo: The pain's fading.../And those creatures are suffering...?!
Welfin: I've lost...damn it. I can't move anymore.../That's the case. Shit...I thought that'd be the case...
Ikalgo: Welfin.../is accepting his loss...?
Welfin: However! By no means am I this fragile...by no means am I afraid!!/Looking back on my life, I'd prefer not to have been shot!
Ikalgo: ...
Ikalgo: Hey.
Welfin: ...What?
Ikalgo: It doesn't hurt so much anymore, but/These bugs...? Take them out fast for me.
Welfin: Tch...this annoying little.../.../I'm the one hurting here. He's fine.

Pg 11
Welfin (thoughts): I haven't canceled my Missileman just yet./...but that's common sense. When he realizes, it'll be bad...Damn it. How do I convince him?
Welfin: Wait.../A minute.
Welfin (thoughts): I'll buy some time.
Welfin: I'll start...
Welfin (thoughts): Until I come up with a good idea.
Welfin: The ritual...
Ikalgo: ...
Welfin: ...
Welfin: ...
Ikalgo: .../Swuuu
Welfin: AAHHH! WAIT! Okay, okay!/I lied!! I won't do it anymore!!

Pg 12
Ikalgo: Then take these out, quick!
Welfin: Um./Uh. Well, you see...
Ikalgo: Alright, fine then!
Welfin: Aah! Wait!! Please, wait!!
Welfin: I can't release it!! After I shoot it just once, it's already...So...I couldn't say it!!/It's the truth!! You've gotta believe me!! I can't once they're in!!
Black Centipedes: Giiii
Ikalgo: There it is again...they're in pain./Could it be that Welfin's motive is...
Welfin: It can't be helped. It's an attack that's supposed to kill at any cost...I don't know what happens after./That's because I wasn't thinking about my opponent's condition at all either.

Pg 13
Welfin: Since I really thought about my Nen Ability/I made its limitation reflect my personality.
Ikalgo: .../Welfin.
Ikalgo (Thoughts): "My personality?"/His real motive...
Ikalgo: Do you have any memories from when you were human?
Welfin: ?
Ikalgo (Thoughts): What did I hear?/There's something.../I want to hear.../He might know someone who resembles him...
Welfin: Why so suddenly?/.../I don't remember.
Ikalgo: ...
Ikalgo: You're lying./Swuuuu
Welfin: WHOA, WHAT THE? QUIT IT!/WAIT! CALM DOWN!
Ikalgo: If you don't answer honestly.../I'll shoot.
Welfin: Tch/~~~~~~~

Pg 14
Welfin: When I awoke, the first thing I thought was/..."I still fucking remember."
Welfin: You beast./"You still fucking remember."
Welfin: You were supposed to have been killed by those monsters in the N.G.L. and then.../Even though the Queen Ant ate you and you were supposed to have turned into another creature...
Welfin: But the first thing I had forgotten.../...I immediately remembered.
Welfin: My dad strangling my neck/And the woman behind him.

Pg 15
Welfin: At first, I gradually came to remember/the scene of that flashback.
Welfin: The one who saved me.../Was my brother, unrelated by blood.
Welfin: ...I remembered!! It was amazing...He really looked like him.../Like Gyro...
Ikalgo: .../Gyro...!
Welfin: Moron. I meant the King.../He was really proud...of our misfortune.
Welfin: On the days I cried.../He was the only one who laughed and talked with me./He and I were both empty shells...so we were fine not hiding anything from each other./I wonder what he's doing...?

Pg 16
Welfin: Just one more time.../I want to see him again...
Welfin: ...that's right. I just need to find Gyro; then everything will be fine./Whether ant, human, rich, or even in another country, everything's just a drag...
Welfin: Go. The ants are all gone./Do you have something you still have to do?
Ikalgo: What doors are left open?
Welfin: Huh?/Getting inside was the only precious goal of you small fry. There's no one left with the ability to fight./I saw you on the monitor with Blow./I timed getting in here with when you were returning./That's all there is to it.

Pg 17
Welfin: I saw that you didn't shoot Blow,/so I thought it'd be easy, but I totally miscalculated.
Welfin: C'mon, go already...I'm tired...
Ikalgo: .../One last thing.
Ikalgo: Have you seen a human woman in the palace?
Welfin: A woman?/...I really don't know.
Welfin: There was an intruder caught...One human we put in a cocoon...
Ikalgo: !!
Welfin: You should find it if you go up the elevator and walk to the right./Heh/Those guys called it "Number One." Hah hah.
Welfin: ...ha ha./Heh heh heh HA HA HA
Ikalgo: ...What's so funny?
Welfin: I was just thinking/Telling the truth really puts you at ease.

Pg 18
Narrator: After merely exchanging several hundred or several thousand blows,/The king was stockpiling minor injuries inside./However,

Pg 19
King: Stop bleeding./Then, tell me my real name.
King: You did well.../For a human, anyway.
Side:Is this the limit...?!
 

soyokaze

Registered User
初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner
Joined
May 6, 2009
Messages
3
Reaction score
0
Gender
Hidden
Country
United States
Re: First Translation I'd like to get some to check it.

Ju-da-su pointed a lot so I won't do those.Also, I'm just learning too so I can't help that much. So basically my post are just suggestions.

Also, the name of the teacher is Kanazawa.

久しぶりだから。。。その
(Because) It's been a long time/while since I've done this...
Since it's been a while....That I've done this

ミスしたら 吉羅理事 怖そうだしなあ
If I make mistakes, Kira-riji will be scary...
If I make mistakes, Kira-riji will give me a scary face.

but I think it's better to say: If I make mistakes Kira-riji will be angry.

それに
客席も。。。
I think you missed this part

なんだか
I feel a little/It's a little
さみしい
...lonely/lonesome...
Somehow I feel.....lonely

火原こそどうするの?
Hihara, what will you do?
Suggestion: How about you Hihara?

そういえば。。。
Yunoki - Come to think of it...
That reminds me....
 

DrCoke

MH Senpai
初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner
Joined
Oct 15, 2007
Messages
15
Reaction score
9
Gender
Male
Country
United States
Re: Hunter x Hunter 296 Translation

For Page 1:
- 仲間は売れない!
Friends can not be betrayed! (That's just semantics, the phrase doesn't imply the first person so using 'I' seems awkward)
- タコ、相討ち上等!! (This one's really hard to translate... You can't really take it literally like you did. It basically means "I'd take a draw, even if we both die.")
相討ち = draw or literally "simultaneous defeat"
上等 = in this case, it has a connotation of "(I) accept (because I agree or it's a good deal)" A lot of manga characters use this word in this meaning.

I'd extremely loosely translate it as "Death before betrayal!!!" In this context.


Page 3:
- When Welfin says ガキ, the kanji for that is 餓鬼 which is loosely translated to "brat". It's a derogatory term for a younger person. I'm not sure why he used it here... I didn't know Ikalgo was younger.

Page 7:
- Ikalgo: 弾は... まだある...
I still have... ammo...

Page 8:
- Ikalgo: 何て… 楽…!!
It's... so easy...!! (In these next two cases, "何て" doesn't mean the sentence is a question. It's an exclamation, or sometimes it's a rhetorical question.)
- Ikalgo: 自分の命と引き換えのつもりなら... 何て楽に引き金を引ける事か...!!!
Pulling the trigger is so easy... when it's my life on the line...!!! (He's not contemplating why it's easy, but realizing his own potential to kill as long as it's his life on the line.)


Page 10:
- Welfin: やっぱりだ くそぅ…いつかこうなると思ったんだ…
I knew it. Shit... I thought this would happen some day...

- Ikalgo: ウェルフィンが… 負けを認めたから…?
Because Welfin... admitted defeat...? (He's wondering why the pain is subsiding from the bugs)

- Welfin: けどよォォォまさかこんなに脆いとは…こんなに怖ぇとはよォォォ!! 自分の命を省みず突っ込んでくる奴がよォォォ
But I didn't know how fragile... how terrifying!! A guy that doesn't care for his own life could be!

Page 11:
- Welfin: オレの”卵男”に解除の方法なんてねーんだよ…!!
My "Missleman" doesn't have a release mechanism...!!

- Welfin: …けどそれをバカ正直にいったらヤベェ…どうやって乗り切る…!?
...But I can't just tell him that like an idiot... how can I get out of this situation...!?
(バカ正直 = stupidly honest)



I think there's some other small things you could fix, but this is becoming really tedious. >< I'll come back later. I gots to go for now.
 

Popo

Registered User
中級員 / Chuukyuuin / Member
Joined
Aug 30, 2008
Messages
165
Reaction score
435
Gender
Female
Country
Canada
Re: Hunter x Hunter 296 Translation

Thanks a ton for your feedback--it'll really help me in improving for the future. Next time, I'll type the entire script up in Japanese so anyone offering tips will have frame of reference rather than having to look it up.
 

alhazred

Registered User
初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner
Joined
Feb 20, 2010
Messages
1
Reaction score
0
Gender
Hidden
Country
United States
Mousou Kikou - Adolescence Avatar, ch. 1

This is my first attempt at translating anything in nearly a decade, and my semantic understanding of Japanese has probably gone totally to crap, so any guidance you can give would be most appreciated :darn...

Mousou Kikou - Adolescence Avatar, ch. 1
Raws can be found here: http://mangahelpers.com/m/mousou-kikou-adolescence-avatar
I didn't bother with first page, which is a splash page advertisement for Dengeki Daioh Genesis.


Key: [page/panel/utterance]

Narration
"Speech"
'Asides'
*Thought*
[Furigana]
*'Memory of the speech of others'*
(Translation Notes)
<sound effects>

CP/0/0:
Super popular for 'World Embryo' in Monthly Young King Ours!!
The new project is a magical girl setup!?
With color leader pages!
Moriyama Daisuke's Magnificent Meeting!!
Mousou Kikou - Adolescence Avatar

01/1/1: Let's talk about my class.
01/1/2: "Have you heard about the grand ghost horde?" <zawa-zawa - blah blah blah>
01/2/1: "It appears around here at night!" <zawa-zawa - blah blah blah>
01/2/2: First Year, Class C; 15 boys, 13 girls.
01/2/3: "Yesterday, even Koba-chan [Kobayashi-sensei] saw it!"
01/2/4: There are nine people in the slacker group.
01/2/5: "Seriously!?"
01/3/1: "...also-"
01/4/1: "Those ghosts- wherever looked, they were all anime and manga characters!"
01/4/2: "Like Shana or Kino or 'TORADORA!'s Taiga - or like the beast men from special effects shows?"
01/4/3: "Characters like that, all packed in and shuffling around!"


02/1/1: "ROFLCOPTER, who's your source!? Why do you know so much about the characters?" <Ahahahahaha!> (Note: Yes, these kids do speak using Japanese Internet slang; i will try to render this in English equivalents, when possible.)
02/1/2: 'You sure it wasn't a Dengeki festival?' (Note: all of the characters mentioned/depicted are from stories serialized in Dengeki magazines)
02/1/3: "Honda from class B; on the way back from club-"
02/1/4: "Unbelievable!!"
02/1/5: Six are in the hardcore otaku group... basically, gross otaku and fujoshi.
02/2/1: They're in the minority here. <GAN - THUD>
02/3/1: "Keep it down!"
02/3/2: "Ah..."
02/3/3: And then there's one more-
02/3/4: The anti-otaku group, the biggest faction; the celeb-asshat alliance.
02/4/1: "S- sorr-."
02/4/2: "Jabbering away about that stuff- pigs."
02/4/3: "Go eat in the toilet." <Gyahaha!><sugo-sugo - trudge, shuffle>
02/5/1: "Aaa~h, so sad."<shari-shari - nom nom><jyuu - sluuuurp>
02/5/2: "But they're just too clueless. What do you expect, after shouting like that?" (Note: she actually says "KY-sugi." KY is short for Kuuki Yomenai, which is Japanese Internet slang term that has no functional English equivalent, and means that the subject can't read the atmosphere.)
02/5/3: "Right, Yazaki-kun?"


03/1/1: "They're just overemotional brats. Now that you mention it..."
03/1/2: "Getting all worked up talking about anime or ghosts or stories-"<fuaaaaa - yaaaaawn>
03/1/3: "I don't believe in anything I haven't seen with my own eyes."
03/2/1: "Eee~h? But wouldn't it be neat if there were ghosts? I mean, love telling ghost stories..."
03/3/2: "Ah... izzat so?"
03/3/3: "Are~? Yazaki-kun, you wouldn't happen to be-?" (Note: She is implying that he's maybe afraid of ghosts, due to his lukewarm reply.)
03/3/4: "-It's been nice; gotta go."
03/3/5: It's the kind of set up you'll see in any class.
03/3/6: Me, Yasaki Yuuri, and this girl, Kishimoto Akane, are currently on this side [anti-otaku group].
03/4/1: 'Tsk- isn't he just covering his own ass?' you say? <katsu-katsu - step step>
03/5/1: I just don't want any trouble; as transfer student, y'know. <GATCHA - CLICK>


04/2/1: "Daaaaaamn, I'm beat. Don't got a lotta time, though, either." <kata-kata - tap tap tap>
04/2/2: "Already pretty much pissed away the afternoon."
04/2/3: "If I wanna finish today, I better knock it out in one shot!"
04/3/1: #1 Fantasy Boy Meets Girl <KATAt - TAP->


05/2/0: <pochat - droop->
05/3/1: "Night..."
05/3/2: "Uwaah! Crap, I fell asleep again!"
05/4/1: "Shii~t! I was doin' so well today, too..." <gusha-gusha - rustle rustle>
05/4/2: "...should I head home? ...Shit!"
05/5/0: <katsu-katsu - step step>


06/2/1: ...ghost horde, huh?
06/2/2: Oi, look around! Where the hell do you see something like that?
06/3/1: That's just confusing reality with fantasy.
06/3/2: Twisting reality to fit your own convenience.
06/3/3: If you do that, if you turn your back on reality...
06/4/1: *...but, it's not like I don't understand how it feels to let your imagination run wild.*
06/4/2: *The school really does look like another world, at night*
06/5/1: "After all, for the occult, this is the perfect situation!"
06/5/2: "For instance, if there were a campus battle or something, and the totally ordinary hero broke his normal routine-"
06/5/3: 'Something like that.'


07/1/1: and met
07/2/1: the heroine...


08/1/1: "Is it you? The one who's possessed by delusions?"
08/3/1: ...a witch?
08/3/2: ...flew? She flew!? <fuwa - swish><tot - tp->
08/4/1: Is this for real!? No way!
08/4/2: "I don't know where you got possessed, but it'd be bad to leave you like this." <Pou - Woosh>
08/4/3: You only hear about stuff like this in stories.
08/4/4: "So... you're going to let me exorcise you!"
08/5/1: ...but ...it's here ...it's real. <Dokun - Kathump>


09/1/1: A heroine <dokun-dokun- kathump-thump-thump>
09/1/2: that only exists in stories...
09/2/0: <DOKUN - THUMP><para-parara - flip; rustle>
09/3/1: "Wha..." <BARA-BARARA - FLAP; RATTLE>
09/3/2: "What the hell~?!"
09/4/0: <zuzuzu - swish-swish><nyuu - streeetch>


10/1/1: "Eh~!? If you're possessed, it shouldn't... th... this is bad!" <BAt - Lunge>
10/2/0: <ZARARARARA - FSSSSSHH>
10/4/0: <DZUAAAAAA - SHOOOOOOM>


11/1/0: <AAAAA - SWOOOOOOO>
11/2/1: "Eh~" <shuuu - fsssss>
11/2/2: Just now, what...
11/3/1: "Aa~ uwah?! My notebook is~!" <PUshuuu - PFfsssss>
11/3/2: "What the heck is that computer!? What's in there!?" <ZAt - Surge>
11/4/1: "Delusions went flying everywhere!!"
11/4/2: "It couldn't be...!? You're..."
11/5/1: "Wh... what's in my..." <Kaaaa - Bluuush>
11/6/1: "U-uwawawa, it's nothing!!" <DAt - Dash>
11/6/2: "Ah! Wait..."
11/7/0: <KIIN KOON KAAN KOON - DIING DOONG DAANG DOONG>


12/1/0: <KIIN KOON KAAN KOON - DIING DOONG DAANG DOONG>
12/2/1: "Ne~, Yasaki-kun?"
12/3/1: "What's wrong? You're making a face like it's the end of the world."
12/3/2: "Aa~... it has ended, in a sense... my notebook..." <DO~N - SLU~MP>
12/3/3: "Notebook?"
12/3/4: "Ah- no, it's nothing!"
12/4/1: *It started up, but- my doodles- my bookmarks- everything was gone!*
12/4/2: 'Uwaaaaaaaaa!'
12/4/3: *Not to mention a half-year's worth of my blood, sweat and tears...*
12/6/1: But... that was real too, wasn't it?
12/6/2: If that's so... then could we meet again... or...?


13/1/1: "Cheers, Underclassman-kun!" <GARAt - CLATTER->
13/1/2: "Hittin' it hard~!?"
13/2/1: "Oo~h! There you are, boy!" <bun-bun - swish-swish>
13/2/2: The reunion flag was already flipped!?
13/3/1: "A third-year...?" <zawa-zawa - blah blah blah>
13/3/2: "Sakura-senpai."
13/4/1: "Cosplay again?" <zawa-zawa - blah blah blah>
13/4/2: "Why did she come back to school, after all this time?"
13/4/3: "Uwa~, how lame..."
13/5/1: "What's with this reaction?" <boso-boso - mutter-mutter>
13/5/2: "Kishimoto-san, who is she?"
13/5/3: "Oh yeah, since Yazaki-kun is a transfer student..."
13/5/4: "She's famous; the first-term student council president... who resigned after three days."


14/1/1: "The third-year, Sakurabi Yukimi-senpai." <DON - BAM>
14/1/2: "She's basically a weirdo trouble maker."
14/2/1: "Wh... what?!"
14/2/2: "Hmm... not much to look at..." <uro-uro - oogle-oggle>
14/3/1: "Well aren't you a gloomy one?"
14/3/2: "Come with me! I'll fix you right up!" <tyun - sway>
14/4/1: "Wha..." <PON - POOF>


15/1/1: "What was that all about?!"
15/2/1: "Are you trying to cause a misunderstanding?! Kishi... everyone was-!"
15/2/2: "That was nothing. The real issue is the truth, right?"
15/3/1: "Inside of you is the power of self-delusion."
15/4/1: "Haven't you heard of it? Like in 'Poltergeist?'"
15/4/2: "In theory, it's a phenomenon where the melancholy feelings of adolescence are projected onto reality."
15/5/1: "Moreover, there are people in whom the strength of those feelings towers over all others..."
15/5/2: "People who possess delusions so strong that they can rewrite the laws of reality..."
15/5/3: "O- oi, wait a sec... you don't mean..."


16/1/1: "YES! The recent ghost disturbances were all manifestations of your delusions... though I originally thought that you'd been possessed by someone else's delusions."
16/1/2: "I've been looking for someone like you, yes..."
16/2/1: "A person with the power to become the embodiment of childish delusions... in other words-"
16/2/2: "A Trollsper!" <ZABAAN - JAB (Note: this, like many others, is sort of an 'emphasis effect' rather than a 'sound effect' for Yukimi energetically making a grand proclamation.)
16/3/1: 'Troll...' (Note: As in Internet troll; the wording she uses implies that he's able to 'troll' reality, like an angry twelve-year-old might troll an Internet forum. This is also a play on words; Chou-Nouryouku-sha is literally something like 'super power/ability user,' and is usually translated as 'Esper' or 'Psychic.' Yukimi has replaced the superlative 'Chou' with 'Chuu,' which is Internet slang for someone who makes childish comments on message boards and is very similar to the English Internet slang term 'Troll,' naming him a Chuu-Nouryouku-sha, or 'troll power/ability user.')


17/1/1: "Ah-! wait..."
17/1/2: 'Hahaha, so stupid...'
17/1/3: "I'm not done talking to you yet!"
17/2/1: "Enough! I don't confuse reality with fantasy!"
17/2/2: "I don't believe in anything I haven't seen with my own eyes!!"
17/3/1: "But can't you feel it!? The gloom-"
17/4/1: "Listen to your own heart!!"
17/4/2: "Is the real you okay with how you are now!?"


18/1/1: "Hey, now! That's my business..."
18/2/1: Geh... Kishimoto-san...
18/3/1: "Ah- Yasaki-kun... What was that?"
18/3/2: "Worthless nonsense... I'm heading back."


19/1/0: <pooon - fwrrrr>
19/2/1: "Thank god I made printouts..." <kata-kata - tap tap tap>
19/2/2: "...but retyping everything again..."
19/3/2: *'-ghost disturbances were all manifestations of your delusions-'* <kata - tap>
19/3/3: *'-can't you feel it!? The gloom-'*
19/4/1: ...I want to believe that it's a lie, but... I can feel it.
19/4/2: If that was my fault...


20/1/1: "This..." <BARARA - RATTLE>
20/1/2: Again...?
20/2/1: *'Delusions went flying everywhere!'*
20/2/2: 'KYAAAAAAA!'
20/3/1: "The scattered delusions..."
20/3/2: "What happened to them?"
20/4/2: "Kishimoto-san!!"


21/1/1: "Boy!"
21/1/2: "Senpai!?"
21/2/1: "A monster, Kishimito was..."
21/2/2: "Help me; your delusion extermination will-"
21/2/3: "What the hell are you!?"
21/3/1: "That's right, to break it down for you, I'm a delusion embodiment... 'Avatar' Seeker!" <ZATSUN - POSE>
21/4/1: What the hell is that!? Again with the 'troll'ish thing... <zoku-zoku - shiver>
21/4/2: But...
21/5/1: "NOOOOOO!"
21/5/2: "Kishimoto-san!!"


22/1/1: "Are you..."
22/1/2: "Noooo!! I'm going to be eaten by a scribble~!!!" <DO~N - BA~M>
22/2/1: My fantasy = my descriptive ability <boku-boku-boku - click-click-click>
22/2/2: = my artistic ability. <chiin - cha-ching>
22/3/1: "Noooo~! Don't look~! It's too awfull~!" <goro-goro - roll-roll>
22/3/2: "Get a hold of yourself!"
22/4/1: "Teach me how this delusion is 'configured!' Without that, fixing it..."


23/1/1: "AUGH..." <GYABA - GRAB>
23/1/2: "SENPAI!!"
23/2/1: "I'm fine, so the configuration..."
23/2/2: "What's it's weakness!?"
23/4/1: "...Nivurgant is a living weapon of the Vanar Phase Shift..."
23/4/2: "It can move out of phase, so physical attacks from the material world are completely useless against it."
23/4/3: "Only Oratorio, the quartz staff wielded by the hero, can interfere with this, by..."
23/4/4: 'Huh?!'
23/4/5: "Wh- what's with this complicated setup!?"

24/1/1: "It's the light novel I've written..."
24/2/1: 'Huh?'
24/3/1: "...I was planning on submitting it to Dengeki Taisho..."
24/3/2: "I spent every day at school writing it- just a little longer, and I would have finished- but..."
24/3/3: 'Ya... Yasaki-kun?'
24/3/4: "...you were writing a light novel?"
24/3/5: "That doesn't suit you at aaall~" <BUCHIt - SNAP->
24/4/1: "Is there something wrong with that!?" <GOKIKI - WHOOOM>
24/4/2: "I know! All the time, everything I do is just to cover my own ass!!"
24/4/3: "I actually LOVE anime and manga and light novels and erotic games!!!"


25/1/1: "BUT MY CLASS IS SO FULL OF CRUEL BASTARDS THAT JUST BEING AN OTAKU IS ENOUGH TO BE CALLED WEIRD!"
25/1/2: 'Uweh~ it's tough to be an otaku, isn't it~?'
25/1/3: "THE ONES THAT GOT SINGLED OUT COULD ONLY SMILE AND ACCEPT THEIR TERMINATION NOTICES!!"
25/2/1: This... the boy's Troll Power is increasing...
25/3/1: "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG"
25/3/2: "WITH HAVING VIVID FANTASIES!!!?" <DOKIN - KATHUMP>


26/1/1: "Well then, boy!" <ooooo - wooooo>
26/1/2: "Eh...?"
26/1/3: "The only one who can crush the delusions that you've given birth to is you!"
26/2/1: "Call it to mind... the method to end this tale!" <ooooo - wooooo>
26/2/2: "...wait a sec..."
26/2/4: "A hero to defeat this enemy!"
26/2/5: "But the hero is..."
26/3/1: "That will become your avatar!" <KAt - FLASH->

27/1/0: <SHARARA - FLUTTER FLUTTER><PAKYAA - POO~IT (Note: another 'emphasis effect,' this time for... stunning cuteness, i guess.)

28/1/0: <paku-paku - jaw working soundlessly>
28/2/1: "U... uwaa~!? What the hell is this!?" <kyuu-gaku - twitch-slump>
28/2/2: "You... that light novel- what kind of story is it?"
28/3/1: "'Valkyrie Supreme Hildy ☆ BREAK.' It's a story about a super strong magical girl who beats the crap out of super horrible enemies..." <moji-moji - fidget-fidget>(Note: Probably to be pronounced Valkyrie Supreme Hildy STAR BREAK.)
28/3/3: "Wh- what's with that look?! Can't you think of it on a basic level?! It's a tale that turns the entire magical girl concept on it's head like never before!!" <kiii - squeal>


29/1/1: "But before that, this guy...!" <do-do - stomp-stomp>
29/1/2: "Y- yeah!"
29/2/1: 'Oraoraoraora!'
29/2/2: "DORYAAAAA!!" <GON - WHAM>
29/3/1: "GUBOWAA!?" <DOKAt - SLAM->


30/1/1: "Owowowow!" <ooooo - wooooo>
30/1/2: "No effect?!"
30/2/1: "That's no good!!"
30/2/2: "You have to role-play by the rules of the delusion!!"
30/3/1: "You mean... I have to fight like a magical girl...!?" <kaaa - bluuush>
30/4/1: "Yes! Become the character! That the principle of an avatar..."
30/4/2: "Ah-" <giri-giri - tense; tighten>
30/4/3: "AGU-!!"
30/5/1: "QU...ICKLY!! ...HNN-" <guru-guru - spin-spin>


31/1/1: 'If I gottaaaa-'
31/1/2: 'Uwoooooooh!'
31/2/1: "M- mou~! Alright! Now I'm going to let you hear Hildy's song!" <kira-kira - twinkle; sparkle; shine>
31/2/2: "'Devils Will Be Completely Blasted to Bits! ☆'" <-Image Song
31/3/1: 'Geh-!'


32/1/1:
Valkyrie Supreme Hildy ☆ BREAK
Main Theme 'Miracle Idol'
Writer/Composer: Yazaki Yuuri
Don't lose, don't stop,
I'll give half my normal liveliness to you!
There's always a free pass through the gates of the future!
At the core of everyone, this feeling is carried!
*Miracle Idol
Let's fly together
To a special place,
Because surely there-
Because surely there-!
<*Repeat>
(Note: Sorry, not even gonna try to make this sound good; it would probably sound pretty horrible in Japanese, too. The boy is not a talented song writer.)


34/1/0: <DOOOOO - FWOOOM>
34/3/1: 'Uu~m, uu~n...'
34/3/1: "Right- above all, it's good that you're safe."
34/3/2: "And when you wake up, you'll have forgotten all of this! It was just a delusion, right!"
34/3/3: "...hey, how long do you plan on sulking?" <zu~n - despair>


35/1/1: "I've decided! I'm going to rewrite that story after all! Writing it and doing it are completely different!"
35/1/2: "As first-year high school boy, that... that..."
35/2/1: "NUWAA~!!!" <GOSU-GOSU - BAM-BAM><busha~ - spuurt>
35/2/2: *Must be a flashback to the shame bomb.* <fufufu - hohoho>
35/2/3: Like a former fat kid that can't move on. <gokri - shing> (Note: Yeah, I really don't know if i got this one right; best I can do.)
35/3/0: <sut - slowly>
35/4/1: "Well?"
35/4/2: "Refreshed?"
35/6/0: <pori-pori - ruffle-ruffle>


36/0/0: For now, the matter is settled... right?!
36/1/1: "Well... maybe." <gutsu - grip>
36/3/1: "You know, it feels kind of dangerous that you're 'refreshed' after turning into a total loli."
36/3/2: "Groo~ss ☆!" <bua~ - whooo><ha - ah><GA~N - DOOOOM>
36/4/1: "N-n-no! It doesn't have that kind of meaning at all!"
36/4/2: "You're kidding! I understand-♥" <pupupu - snicker>
36/4/4: "NO YOU DON'T!!!"
 
Last edited:

smaller

Registered User
初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner
Joined
Aug 15, 2007
Messages
25
Reaction score
5
Age
42
Gender
Hidden
Country
United States
My first attempt at translating. I would love some criticism!

Hello! I submitted this as a translation in need of checking, but I wasn't certain if I should cross-post it here or not. I hope this is okay.

This is my attempt to translate chapter 8 in volume 37 of the manga "3x3 Eyes". I was unable to upload a raw here, so I transcribed all the text (very well, I think) with the exception of one character I was unable to identify on page 113, indicated by (?). (There are batch raws here, but I'm afraid they aren't broken handily into chapters. This chapter begins on the page labeled 109 in the raw file for volume 37.) If you feel my transcription is flawed though, please let me know.

A huge thank you to anyone who takes the time to look over this!


p. 106
策三百九十四話
Chapter 394
゛帰さぬ゛
"Unable to Return"

p. 107
(2)
゛ザンハーラの核゛?
-The core of the Seima Stone?

(3)
ふっ
-Heh.

(4)
そうだ
-Indeed.

(5)
うわああっ
-Waaaaah!

p. 108
(1)
さあ来るがよい
-Come along obediently, now...

(2)
ぬうっ
-Gnnnn!
くあっ
-Gaaah!

(3)
゛サンハーラ゛の核゛へ
-...into the core of the Seima Stone!

(p. 109 no text)

p. 110
(2)
゛サンハーラ゛とは「集める事」を意味する
-The "Seima Stone" signifies things to collect.

(3)
また
-And...
゛サンハーラ゛とは「擬縮」を意味する
-The "Seima Stone" means "reduction"  (TN: not sure of this one - can't figure out what the kanji for "imitate" and "shrink" are doing next to each other.)

p. 111
(5)
そして゛サンハーラ゛とは
-Lastly, the Seima Stone...
「放った矢を引き戻す魔術」を意味する
-...means magic to restore the released arrow. (TN: yeah, your guess here is as good as mine.)

p. 112
(5)
世界の帰滅終結が
-You mean, the Seima Stone...
サンハーラ゛ではないのか?!
-...isn't the end of the world?!

p. 113
(2)
゛サンハーラ゛とは「回收」生まれ出でて拡散したものを集めて終らせるのだ
-This "Seima Stone" is to recover the scattered lives to end (them?).

(3)
そうかわかった
-Ah, I get it.
サンハーラとはバラバラの「意志」の光達をひとつに統合する(?)じゃな
-This "Seima Stone"...is for creating the Absolute Consciousness, isn't it?

p. 114
(1)
人間共より脱け出した無数の光の粒子を
-Or, should I say, to merge consciousnesses, you need not only the humans, 
このバカでかい核とやらがひとつの光に回収するというわけか
-but also this stupid big core thing to collect those countless particles of light.

(2)
「意志」の光だけではない
-I will not only create the Absolute Consciousness,
光とこの私がひとつになってこそ。すべては終わる
-I will inevitably also become one with it! It will be the end of all things.

p. 115
(1)
そしてすべてが始まる
-And, it will be the beginning of all things.

(3)
ひ 光と
-Be- become one with it?

(5)
おまえが光とひとつに?
-You as well?
融合するのか?
-You're going to unite with the Absolute Consciousness?

(6)
そうだ.゛サンハーラ゛は私と光を同化させる最後の呪術
-Yes indeed. The Seima Stone will be the the final ceremony to assimilate me with the light.
私は聖なる光となるのだ!!
-I will become the holy light!

p. 116
(2)
ヤクモ
-Yakumo,
なんとしてでも実体に帰れ!!
-Get back to your body whatever it takes.

(3)
 儂は少々考え事をしたい。後は任せる
-There's a little something I want to think about. I leave the rest to you...
ちょっと!!どしたんだ「三只眼」!?
-Hey! What's wrong, Sanjiyan!

(4)
 あんたの身勝手には慣れてるケド
-I'm used to your egoism, but...
この場を俺に託すのはまぼうすぎるぜ!!
-...entrusting this to me is too reckless!

p. 117
(1) 
パールテイーめ何を動揺している
-Something is disturbing you, Parvati.
私の中の光と人間の光はももてぃとつのもの。運命を共にするのは当たり前の事だが。。。
-The light in me and the light of humans was a single thing from the start. Our destined union is what must be, but...

(2)
 東京からはらか離れたここから肉体に帰る。。。?
-Return to my body all the way from wherever this is?
俺一つでどうしろってんだ?!
-Just how am I supposed to do that by myself!?

(5) 
ヤクモ。。。
-Yakumo...
パイ
-Pai?

(6) 
゛哭蛹゛を喚び出して
-Summon Kuuyon...
東京へ帰ろう
-...and we should be able to go back to Tokyo.

(7) 
゛哭蛹゛?
-Kuuyon?

(8) 
獣魔は肉体に取り憑いてるんだ
-But, since the beast has a body,
召喚したってここには現れないぞ
-if I summoned him here he wouldn't materialize.

p. 118
(1) 
東京にいる実体の前に喚び出して依ちゃんの思念術を無力化するの
-If you summon him at our bodies in Tokyo, Yori-chan's conscious thought spell will be negated.
残念だが今の俺は実体との絆が弱すぎて、実体を動かして召喚を行う事ができないんだ
-Unfortunately, with the force keeping my projection here, I'm too weak. I can't call forth anything.

(2) 
そうか。ゴメンね無理言って
-Oh... it's impossible. I'm sorry, then...
バーカ!!謝る事じゃ。。。
-Idiot! Don't apologi-

(3) 
いや!!やってみよう
-No! I want to try it!

(4) 
実体と我々の絆を強めて召喚を 行ってみよう
-The force holding us here is strong, but we should try summoning!

(5) 
そんな事ができるのか!?アマラ!!
-You think you can manage that, Amara?!
わからにゃってみろだけだ!!
-We won't know until we try!

(p. 119 no text)

p. 120
(1) 
言ったはずだ。思念体同士戦うのは無意味だと
-I thought I already told you: fighting me with a Conscious Thought Form is meaningless.

(2) 
見ろ私の眼を!!
-Look into my eyes!
う。。
Uhn..

(3) 
ひっ
-Hnnn

(4) 
あきらめるがよい!!
-Give it up!
もはやおまえ逹を東京へは帰さぬ!!
-It's already too late for you to return to Tokyo!!

(5) 
ヤクモッッ!!
-Yakumo!
ガアアッ
-GYAAAAAH!!

゛帰さぬ゛了
--End of "Unable to Return"--
 
Last edited:

Shinou

Registered User
初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner
Joined
Mar 17, 2010
Messages
6
Reaction score
0
Gender
Female
Country
United States
+ C Cornett Spanish Translation Reviewing

p.008

Belca: I win. // ...Instructor.

Instructor: Prince Belca! // Please stop this dirty way of fighting!!

Belca: You were the one who told me to give it all I've got, Instructor.
If you're not satisfied, then go ahead and find yourself a replacement.


p.009

Instructor: So be it...Let me do just that!

..........

Belca: ¡Gano! // …un Instructor.
Instructor: ¡El Príncipe Belca! // Por Favor, cesarías esta manera sucio de estás luchando
Belca: Fuiste uno quien dijiste darlo todo conseguí, Instructor
Si satisficieses luego te adelantarías encuéntrese un remplazo

P.9
Instructor: así sea…
Belca: te escucho… el idiota
 
Top