Well. I've been rejected from UCLA. It's pretty crushing that out of the four physics departments I applied to, all rejected me except for the second-rate school.
I'm reconsidering physics on the whole. I feel like I can't fit in a field that prioritizes test scores and GPA over my ability to do research. No matter how much I love research and physics, I'll never be good enough because I'm bad at tests. It doesn't matter that I've singlehandedly raised the undergrad physics club from the dead, or that I did a paper with a leading expert in the field, or that my ability to do research at my current school was destroyed by the senior professor dying half way through, or that I'm graduating at 19.
It's sad because I love research and I love physics. But they don't care. They don't look at me and see my strengths. They look at me and see a poor test-taker who hasn't done enough "real" physics research.
It also reminds me of how disproportionately monetary support impact ability to excel academically and perform well on expensive standardized tests. If I were from a rich family, I would've had a lot off my mind so I could be a super test-taker. If I cut myself off from my family and let them fall apart, perhaps the same would have happened. But I spent more weekends trying to keep us together because I care.
Either settle for the lesser field and go into planetary sci, or abandon academia entirely and work in industry.