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Info Claymore Alternative Translation and Clarification

Discussion in 'Claymore' started by Utsune, Nov 14, 2012.

  1. Utsune

    Utsune 風立ちぬ いざ生きめやも

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    Hi Valgav, welcome to the forum ^^

    I'll start off with your first link.
    Last panel --- the original is literally:
    "Shit..."
    "[My] arm is...
    already..."

    "くそ・・・"
    "腕が・・・
    もう・・・"

    Clare does not finish her sentence, but manga dialogues such as this one is usually along the lines of:
    "My arm is already at its limit" or something of the sort. *This is my interpretation/guess!*

    In the link (Viz?), the translation "Move... your arm..." probably refers to Clare speaking to herself (no hidden meaning.) I suspect it's because Viz(?) thinks this translation flows better in English.

    You second link.
    I'm not fully sure what the other translation you've seen says. But the version in your link (Viz?) is fine.
    The original says literally:
    "It means you did not have the qualification to battle that one-horned monster." [TN: Notice it's in past tense, for those of you who care.]
    "あなたにあの一本角の化物と闘う資格はなかったってこと"

    While the first panel on this page is generally fine, I notice the last panel isn't:
    "If I lose"
    "I shall genuienly/obediently entrust my will to you."

    "あたしが負けたら"
    "素直にあたしの意思はあなたに託してあげるわ"


    While I don't intend to discredit Viz, from what I've seen, some of their translations are incredible inaccurate. Although they probably have their reasons, I won't say, "Oh it's fine, those places don't matter too much anyway." Because I believe certain readers are capable of interpreting a lot from the shortest of dialogues, and in that regard they are important lines after all.

    I think Viz prioritizes in the production value rather than accuracy. A lot of times, translations don't always flow as well in English if you try to be accurate (directly translating Jp-->En hardly ever sounds natural,) and some dialogues are too long to fit into a tiny speech bubble. Viz prioritizes in making grammatical sense for their western audience, together with pretty typesetting (i.e. putting the dialogues into speech bubbles nicely, without making it unreadable by using font sizes too small just to fit the lines into very small bubbles etc.)

    You may still enjoy the manga on the whole (the general feeling/mood the dialogues give you, or if you're especially picky about grammatical errors, you can be sure there is a minimal of those,) but I wouldn't start theorizing too deeply based on Viz translations.



    Hope my explanation is clear.
     
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  2. Valgav

    Valgav Registered User

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    Really appreciate this :super
     
  3. Valgav

    Valgav Registered User

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    Hi again . From the start i would like to apologzie that im such a pest. Will try to explain myself. Claymore is only manga that i bought its just sooo intoxicating , and i wanted to show my respect to its creator by doing so .After reading each tome i go online and compare it with ,,fan translations ''. When i find something that in my opinion is a change factor i come here 4 help . I know that all value their time , thats whay im more than satisfied with short answers [ dont want to ba a parasite ]. OK
    now i will get to the point. Second panel http://www.mangahere.co/manga/claymore/v09/c049/12.html and http://www.mangareader.net/485-29360-12/claymore/chapter-49.html - How is it in orginal - Does Riful actually sense Alicia ? And this http://www.mangahere.co/manga/claymore/v09/c049/23.html - http://www.mangareader.net/485-29360-23/claymore/chapter-49.html - last panel first image Jean speaks about her honor comapred to her funeral ?
     
  4. Utsune

    Utsune 風立ちぬ いざ生きめやも

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    No worries Valgav ^^
    Not everybody comes across of another translation, so bringing these queries up are surely helpful.

    1st question:
    Your second link is more accurate.
    Literally: Because there's something weird close by...
    Even though I don't like having [my] power measured...


    So she can clearly sense Alicia's presence in this scene.


    2nd question:
    Second link is more true to the original.
    literallly: This is a life that has been lost once...
    I do not intend to lengthen it to the extent of losing [my] honour.



    Hope this helps :)
     
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  5. Valgav

    Valgav Registered User

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    Oh yes its great . Although i cant understand 1 thing . if in orginal Riful speaks loudly to herself about presenc of ,, another '' there is no reaction from Clare and others . Other thing is that i didnt get to part ,,what'' exactly Alica is [ her power etc. ] but Galate is not a pushover . Those are only my thoughts but i think it explains whay viz did it like this
     
    Last edited: Jun 20, 2014
  6. Goral

    Goral Registered User

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    Chapter 152 - Gernot's corrections to Waychanger's translation

     
  7. serpico

    serpico Registered User

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    Any others interesting dialogue's that need to be translated more accurate (or) corrected?!...
    /BTW (thanks gernot for the translation correction's./
    ...
     
  8. Valgav

    Valgav Registered User

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    Hi again. First i would like to start with something that bothered me 4 quite some time first panel bottom http://www.mangahere.co/manga/claymore/v08/c042/23.html http://www.mangareader.net/485-29353-24/claymore/chapter-42.html does Riful refer to rank 30 or 30 warriors in total ? Last panel last bubbel http://www.mangahere.co/manga/claymore/v14/c075/21.html could i kindly ask for your translation from what i seen its this [ what in link ] or something like ,,warriors who would be skilled enough to find me ...''. Second panel http://www.mangareader.net/485-29385-24/claymore/chapter-74.html or ,,If you put one of these inside of them , you can sleep comfortably even on soft beds. Just some advice to remember .''Third panel http://www.mangareader.net/485-29388-16/claymore/chapter-77.html or ,,Run away ... dont die mama [ From link it sounds like Miata doesent want Clarice to run ]Fifth panel http://www.mangahere.co/manga/claymore/v14/c077.2/30.html - i saw translation where Clare offers help .Third panel first bubbel http://www.mangahere.co/manga/claymore/v14/c077/24.html or,, This huge awakened monster shows up and you fight her all alone '' And this 2 - Second panel first bubbel http://www.mangahere.co/manga/claymore/v18/c101/27.html or http://www.mangareader.net/485-47816-26/claymore/chapter-101.html and this last panell first bubbel http://www.mangareader.net/485-47816-30/claymore/chapter-101.html or http://www.mangahere.co/manga/claymore/v18/c101/31.html -she is being grateful for being saved or that her comrades were saved ?

    ---------- Post added at 06:32 AM ---------- Previous post was at 06:21 AM ----------

    And to give something from myself those are 2 tings i found https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYdKOwycwt4 and this is quite interesting if you look closer you will see it dont mind text only pictures http://www.mangareader.net/485-29388-21/claymore/chapter-77.html and this http://imgbox.com/dIYAaAFh
     
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2014
  9. Utsune

    Utsune 風立ちぬ いざ生きめやも

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    Hi Valgav,

    Could I please ask you to space your questions out next time (press the enter key a few more times) so I can more easily identify which of the links you're referring to in your questions? ^^'' Thanks.

    First question (chapter 42)
    Both of your version actually refer to the same idea. The second link might have phrased it a bit confusingly, but it is more literally accurate. Riful is referring to "the 30th awakened [warrior,]" so "30 warriors" is the idea.

    Second question (chapter 75)
    The translation in the page you linked is pretty much on the spot. "...they sent warriors so powerful" ----> "warriors powerful enough/ with the power to..."

    Third question (chapter 74)
    It is exactly as it says in the translation in your link.

    Fourth question (chapter 77)
    Miata says "Run away." and "Don't die, Mama." The translation in your link is wrong.

    Fifth question (chapter 77.2)
    Clare is offering to lend a hand.

    Sixth question (chapter 77)
    Not sure what you're asking here, but the translation is correct in the third panel.

    Seventh question (chapter 101)
    The translation in your first link is wrong. As for the second link, I would change "up to that point" and "get that far" into something like this:
    "It will still take time until [her/Cynthia's] youki spreads through [her/Cynthia's] whole body and allow [her/Cynthia's] to move."
    From here on, Yuma is saying with Cynthia's skill in youki synchronization, it should have gone much better (the healing.) And then Yuma goes on to say, it takes so much more effort on her part (to do what Cynthia could easily do <--- referring to her previous speech bubble.)

    Eighth question (chapter 101)
    Your second link is wrong. It's not "returning it in double," but "return the second one's share" (i.e. pay the second debt that she owes.)

    Last question (chapter 77)
    My tankoubon has two speech bubbles, too (I'm assuming the scan with one speech bubble was the original panel that was published in the manga magazine, and Yagi revised it for volume #14.) Also, she's saying "What's all this!?" "What's all this!?" (being 'baffled' by how the situation turns out to be, which leads to her emotional dialogues two pages later.)



    P.S. Please point out to me if I've made a mistake somewhere, am half asleep when replying.
     
  10. Valgav

    Valgav Registered User

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    Ok ignore everything i wrote down i finally understand how this works http://mangahelpers.com/t/gernot/archives/ From what understand gernot's translation is most accurate ?! Wont burden you again with translation yet i may still ask about soem english words that sometimes seem odd to me in viz translation. Btw any 1 knows where i can find earlier chapters that are translated with same quality [ cant findy anything related to Waychanger ]

    http://www.mangahere.co/manga/claymore/v14/c077/24.html ahh sorry i ment 4th panel where it says ,, you faced many awaken beings alone up till now '' or [ viz ] ,, This huge awakened monster shows up and you fight her all alone ''

    i just wanted to know if She is grateful for saving her whole team or just her live . So its this third panel http://www.mangareader.net/485-47816-30/claymore/chapter-101.html compared to this http://www.mangahere.co/manga/claymore/v18/c101/31.html

    what i meant here [ that is only to be treated as curiosity ] was that Clarice face got 2 different expressionsin in 4th panel if you compare http://www.mangareader.net/485-29388-21/claymore/chapter-77.html with this http://imgbox.com/dIYAaAFh

    is there any word about ,,suppressing their aura'' ? [last panel ] http://www.mangahere.co/manga/claymore/v14/c075/21.html

    Thnx 4 all your hard work still got some questions but i won't bother you with them at this moment

    ---------- Post added at 01:46 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:40 AM ----------
     
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2014
  11. Utsune

    Utsune 風立ちぬ いざ生きめやも

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    Well I didn't really read any English translation up until I made this thread so I couldn't really say much, but from what I've seen of gernot's I don't think I have or will have any queries with his version so feel free to trust his translation. But do feel free to ask here if you're really unncertain, since that's why this thread exists. I think I've mentioned this before but I'll say again, Viz translation is kinda... weird. You can generally try to trust it for the tone of the dialogues, but I wouldn't base any theories on it.



    It doesn't specify how many. It just says "monster-like awakened opponent." The word "many" as translated by your first link doesn't exist. Also, Viz has done well to retain the tone of her voice, but in terms of the 'number' of monsters Miata has faced, I don't think you could tell.



    For her team. She quite literally says "allies that were saved."



    Oh by the way, I've answered your previous questions in the order you asked them, so this was answered under "Last question (chapter 77)": My tankoubon has two speech bubbles, too...

    What I mean is, when the chapter first came out, I *guess* it was the version with one speech bubble. Later when Yagi published his volume 14, he made changes to the chapter, including Clarice's expression (and two speech bubbles.)



    Literally, it is "erasing [their] youki."
     
  12. Valgav

    Valgav Registered User

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    I decided to change my policy . At time when i joined this forum all i wanted was knowledge but i decided to use all resources and help i can get to create something that could be used . My goal is re-edit viz chapters from 1 to 78 and corect them [ will stop at chapter 78 becous from there Gernot did all the hard work ] . Unfortunately fact that i don't know japanese language [ and my english is a bit rough ] restricts me to rely on your help [ if any 1 could provide me with link to Waychanger works would be great ]. My work will focus only on differences that in my opinion are most important [ it's because i'm in no position to use original version ] . Once the work is done it will be published to globla use [ i still encourage to buy manga ] . First example http://imgbox.com/ArGWzet3 correction off this http://www.mangahere.co/manga/claymore/v09/c046/25.html . Im using paint [ its easy to use but it got one mayor drowback , file size after re-editing is doubled - dont know if its normal or paint is that crappy , so if any 1 got a suggestion about other programs plz tell ][font could be better but after 2 h searching this is is best i could find ]

    ---------- Post added August 09, 2014 at 09:04 AM ---------- Previous post was August 08, 2014 at 03:23 AM ----------

    Will start from chapterr 40 up - [ links below are not viz ]
    c40 http://www.mangareader.net/485-29351-25/claymore/chapter-40.html Panel 4

    c40 http://www.mangareader.net/485-29351-32/claymore/chapter-40.html Panel 1 Bubble 2 ,,after all ...''

    c41 http://www.mangareader.net/485-29352-12/claymore/chapter-41.html Panel 4

    c42 http://www.mangareader.net/485-29353-28/claymore/chapter-42.html Panel 4 Bubble 2 ,,maybe some low ...'' Panel 5 Bubbel 1 ,,since i ...''

    c44 http://www.mangareader.net/485-29355-11/claymore/chapter-44.html Panel 4 Bubble 2 ,,it shoulden't ...''

    c45 http://www.mangareader.net/485-29356-9/claymore/chapter-45.html Panel 1 Bubble 1 ,,that means ...''

    c45 http://www.mangareader.net/485-29356-20/claymore/chapter-45.html Panel 1 Bubbel 1 ,,a high ranked ...''

    c45 http://www.mangareader.net/485-29356-28/claymore/chapter-45.html Panel 4 Buubel 2 ,,it looks like ...''

    c46 http://www.mangareader.net/485-29357-16/claymore/chapter-46.html Panel 2 Bubbel 1 ,,i understan ...''

    c46 http://www.mangareader.net/485-29357-32/claymore/chapter-46.html Panel 5 Bubbel 2 ,,please give ...''

    c47 http://www.mangareader.net/485-29358-3/claymore/chapter-47.html Panel 4 Bubbel 1 ,,that was a half ...''

    c47 http://www.mangareader.net/485-29358-8/claymore/chapter-47.html Panel 8 [ last with Galatea ]

    c47 http://www.mangareader.net/485-29358-28/claymore/chapter-47.html Panel 2 Bubbel 2 second part ,,but if i kill you ...''

    c47 http://www.mangareader.net/485-29358-29/claymore/chapter-47.html Panel 2 Bubbel 1 ,,no , we were ...''

    c49 http://www.mangareader.net/485-29360-13/claymore/chapter-49.html Panel 6 Bubble 1 ,,someone like ...''
     
  13. number12michael

    number12michael Registered User

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    Utsune, i know you are busy but Chapter 49 page 13, Riful says "someone like you who can accept me without breaking" what is the exact translation ?, and is there any sexual connotation in the original text?
     
  14. Number A

    Number A Registered User

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    Valgav. If you're typesetting I highly recommend that you do NOT use MS Paint. Photoshop is best, absolutely, and only 29 AUD per month (so you could get it and use it for a little while). If that's not an option for you, try something like Sumopaint or Pixlr or simply Google 'photoshop alternatives' and see what comes up. Gimp is another free Photoshop alternative and Paint.net is well-regarded as well (though I've never used it).

    Oh, yeah, as for fonts. USE WILDWORDS. It's the de-facto typeface for manga and it's available in the Red Hawk Neo fontpack (they mention it in this post).
     
  15. Valgav

    Valgav Registered User

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    Thnx 4 info Number A .As soon as i get materials related to my previous post i will start my work immediately.[ No hurry if its 1 link a week will be happy - dont want any 1 to overdo it with their own time ]
     
  16. Goral

    Goral Registered User

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    @Utsune
    How would you translate the title of 153 chapter? In Waychanger's version it's "That which is carried" but in God Eye Galatea's it's "A matter of burden". I'm wondering which one is closer to literal translation.
     
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  17. Utsune

    Utsune 風立ちぬ いざ生きめやも

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    Both are actually viable translations, although I'd say that "burden" might sound a bit negative, while the original is, in its purest form, 'neutral' in my perspective (hence Waychanger's "which is carried.") Also, I can see why Waychanger's "That" = GEG's "A matter." The Japanese is もの, which is vague in a sense that it can convert to the kanji 物 or 者. The first one means "thing," and the second one means "person." TSS decides on the former (since they've translated the title word for word in the order they are given, they have to choose one conversion or the other jp: 背負いしもの ---> ch: 背負之物.) Just throwing this out there so that you know there are these possible suggestions to the title.

    With all that's said, I highly suspect the title primarily refers to her wings on the last page. Secondary implication can include bonds/relationships/friends/hopes/dreams/whatever else there is, all of which can be referred to by もの.



    The key word here is 受け止める which stands for the "accept" part. Take a look at this definition and you can decide the rest for yourself. The "breaking" part is literally what the Japanese says.

    ---------- Post added at 09:43 AM ---------- Previous post was at 08:18 AM ----------

    ☆☆☆ Before I continue looking over the translation, I need to clarify that I am not a translator(!) Simply knowing two languages and being able to translate one to the other are two very different things. So as much as I can give you an insight to the implications behind the original text, I likely cannot give you a better translation that deserves to be printed in the speech bubble than the ones already in existence.

    At least for an amateur such as myself, there is also the issue of compromising between the tone/flow and the accuracy* of the dialogue. Chances are, the more 'literal' I get with the translation (for all the theorists out there,) the more I lose out on the tone (and flow - whether it makes grammatical sense in English,) which is arguably equally as important.

    * (I can't find the right words. I know 'tone' is effectively part of 'accuracy' but you know I mean.)



    This is fine.

    This is fine.

    tricky situation ---> dilemma (eg. "This is a dilemma...")

    Panel 4 is fine. Panel 5 is also fine ("awakening" refers to the actual awakening process, not her awakened form.)

    This is fine.

    This is fine.

    This is fine.

    "It looks like" is fine but a bit misleading. To clarify she is talking about a rumour she has heard.

    This is fine.

    "I beg... you..." / "Plea...se... give me... a peaceful... death as ... a hu...man..." (Something like this with lots of dots.)

    The translation is fine. Not sure if this is the English way to do this but the original has "..." at the end of both of her bubbles (eg. "That was a half-awakening...")

    The expression is fine, but she doesn't literally say "God," it's more like "Good grief." (lit: bubble #1: "You're really slow/late"; bubble #2: "Good grief...")

    "My goal isn't to kill you"
    "but" ---> "so"

    This is fine.

    The translation is fine. Also, take a look at my reply to number12michael's question up there↑
     
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  18. Valgav

    Valgav Registered User

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    Thats great will start my work immediately. Let me compensate you 4 this hard work i cant pull much but still i can make a donation just name acount .
     
  19. Utsune

    Utsune 風立ちぬ いざ生きめやも

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    It's fine. Knowing that I could help is enough.
     
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  20. Bayuga

    Bayuga Registered User

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    I play at the moment the Claymore DS game. This game has a different ending for the battle in the north and a Miria and Teresa sidestory with unknown awakened beings. Here are some pictures from the game. Could someone translate?
    If there is interest, we can also open a new thread.

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
     
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