- Joined
- Feb 22, 2007
- Messages
- 261
- Reaction score
- 624
- Age
- 40
- Gender
- Female
- Country
-
Re: [Shonen] Zokusei ch 3
Sorry for taking so long.... x_x
I was impossibly busy so far, but I intend to check all the translations that are left unchecked (or well, that need further improvement), so here I am! @_@
冬期宿泊訓練
(F1 thought) ( It's time for the ) winter training camp
You could leave "Winter training camp", since it introduces the setting anyway.
はああ~関谷さんスタイル良いし美人だなあ~
(B)Haaa...Sekiya-san looks beautiful
As pecology corrected.
おい!!OO,どっち向いてんだよ
Hey ___, Turn around! (not sure)
It's "what are you looking at!?"
どっち = which one (when the possibilities are 2) ^^
みんなはクラス一の美人の関谷さんに釘つけだけど
(F4 thought left)To everybody in the class, Sekiya-san is the most beautiful...However...
You could say it like that too, but literally it's:
"Everybody's gaze is glued to Sekiya-san, the most beautiful girl in our class..."
(B1+2 F5)よいしょ
Yoisho (something said when putting effort into doing something) (Didn't know a way to say it ...)
My dictionary translates "yoisho" as "heave-ho", I guess that might do it... XD;
ぼくが目で追ってしまうのは
My eyes will only follow one person....
"But my eyes will only follow [one person]..."
Here you can both include the part in [] or leave it out for a "suspense effect". I added the "but" here because I didn't put it at the end of the other line; I think it sounds smoother like this
うちのクラスのメガネじょしの
The girl who wears glasses,
Just "the girl with glasses" is fine.
By the way, you left out "たたた"; it's another way of saying "痛い", so it translates as "ouch" or such
また転んだのもみじ
You fell down again ?? (Isn't もみじ Mean "Venison"?) (???????)
As pecology said, Momiji is also a given name ^^
So it's "You fell down again, Momiji?" or also "Did you trip again, Momiji?"
いつもそんなに厚着してるからドジしちゃうんだよ
You're clumsy because you always wear so much clothes, ( isn't that it? )
"You blunder because you're always wearing too many thick clothes!"
ドジする is not exactly "being clumsy", it's more like "making a blunder" (though it does imply that it's because of clumsiness or stupidity, since it means "clumsy" indeed without the verb する).
厚着 can mean both "wearing lots of clothes" or "wearing thick clothes", so your interpretation is technically fine too.
(Bottom)すぐおいも拾います
(Bottom) I'll pick it up immediately.
おいも is potatoes, so it's "I'll pick the potatoes (or "them") up immediately".
みんなは月島さんを地味だとか影が薄いとか言うけれど
Everyone calls Tsukishima-san simple and that she's not that important...but...
ぼくは知ってしまったんだ
I know what she really is like. (??)
"Everyone says that Tsukishima-san is simple and doesn't stand out, but...
I happened to find out the truth." (literally: "I ended up knowing")
"What she really is like" might do it anyway
男子たるもの温泉来たならやらねばならぬ事がある
As young men who have come to a hot spring, there is one thing we must do!
(??)
This is fine
Though it doesn't necessarily imply "young".
グログロ!!
(Bottom) ば。。。ばあちゃんばっかりだ。
UGHHH
There's only a g-grandma!
ゲロゲロ (not グログロ) is the sound of people vomiting
The second line is "there's only grandmas!!"
ばっかり in this case means "only things/people like this" but it's meant as a plural. If it was only one it would have been specified ^^
お前一人だけいい子ちゃんはいかんざき
You're a goody-too-shoes-chan who needs some fun. (?????)
"You can't be the only good boy!!"
だ。。誰だ。。。?こんなかわいい女子うちのクラスに。。。?
Who is that? Is this babe in my class?
As pecology corrected ^^
関谷さん。。。?いや。。。ちがう。。。
Sakiya-san...? No... it's not....
"Sekiya-san...? No... It's not her..."
私達先上がるね
We are getting out. (?)
It's fine. 先[に]上がる means "we're getting out [before you]" ^^
You could put it as "we'll be getting out then" too.
ふええ~
A sigh (I think??)
Yes, it's basically a whiny sigh XD
ひゅっく
A sob (i think?)
Yes XD
つ。。。月島さん~!
Tsukishima-san!
"It's Tsukishima-san~~~!!!"
It sounds better with an "it's", since it's a discovery
You forgot a か……かわいい!! ("S-so cute!!") on the last page
月島さんのメガネの奥に目がいきがちです
I would always see Tsukishima-san without her glasses (??).
"My eyes tend to look (or "wander") behind Tsukishima-san's glasses."
-がち means "to tend to", so いきがち is literally "tend to go"
I was brutally honest, as you requested! I hope it helped
Good luck with your translations
Sorry for taking so long.... x_x
I was impossibly busy so far, but I intend to check all the translations that are left unchecked (or well, that need further improvement), so here I am! @_@
冬期宿泊訓練
(F1 thought) ( It's time for the ) winter training camp
You could leave "Winter training camp", since it introduces the setting anyway.
はああ~関谷さんスタイル良いし美人だなあ~
(B)Haaa...Sekiya-san looks beautiful
As pecology corrected.
おい!!OO,どっち向いてんだよ
Hey ___, Turn around! (not sure)
It's "what are you looking at!?"
どっち = which one (when the possibilities are 2) ^^
みんなはクラス一の美人の関谷さんに釘つけだけど
(F4 thought left)To everybody in the class, Sekiya-san is the most beautiful...However...
You could say it like that too, but literally it's:
"Everybody's gaze is glued to Sekiya-san, the most beautiful girl in our class..."
(B1+2 F5)よいしょ
Yoisho (something said when putting effort into doing something) (Didn't know a way to say it ...)
My dictionary translates "yoisho" as "heave-ho", I guess that might do it... XD;
ぼくが目で追ってしまうのは
My eyes will only follow one person....
"But my eyes will only follow [one person]..."
Here you can both include the part in [] or leave it out for a "suspense effect". I added the "but" here because I didn't put it at the end of the other line; I think it sounds smoother like this

うちのクラスのメガネじょしの
The girl who wears glasses,
Just "the girl with glasses" is fine.
By the way, you left out "たたた"; it's another way of saying "痛い", so it translates as "ouch" or such

また転んだのもみじ
You fell down again ?? (Isn't もみじ Mean "Venison"?) (???????)
As pecology said, Momiji is also a given name ^^
So it's "You fell down again, Momiji?" or also "Did you trip again, Momiji?"
いつもそんなに厚着してるからドジしちゃうんだよ
You're clumsy because you always wear so much clothes, ( isn't that it? )
"You blunder because you're always wearing too many thick clothes!"
ドジする is not exactly "being clumsy", it's more like "making a blunder" (though it does imply that it's because of clumsiness or stupidity, since it means "clumsy" indeed without the verb する).
厚着 can mean both "wearing lots of clothes" or "wearing thick clothes", so your interpretation is technically fine too.
(Bottom)すぐおいも拾います
(Bottom) I'll pick it up immediately.
おいも is potatoes, so it's "I'll pick the potatoes (or "them") up immediately".
みんなは月島さんを地味だとか影が薄いとか言うけれど
Everyone calls Tsukishima-san simple and that she's not that important...but...
ぼくは知ってしまったんだ
I know what she really is like. (??)
"Everyone says that Tsukishima-san is simple and doesn't stand out, but...
I happened to find out the truth." (literally: "I ended up knowing")
"What she really is like" might do it anyway

男子たるもの温泉来たならやらねばならぬ事がある
As young men who have come to a hot spring, there is one thing we must do!
(??)
This is fine
Though it doesn't necessarily imply "young".グログロ!!
(Bottom) ば。。。ばあちゃんばっかりだ。
UGHHH
There's only a g-grandma!
ゲロゲロ (not グログロ) is the sound of people vomiting

The second line is "there's only grandmas!!"
ばっかり in this case means "only things/people like this" but it's meant as a plural. If it was only one it would have been specified ^^
お前一人だけいい子ちゃんはいかんざき
You're a goody-too-shoes-chan who needs some fun. (?????)
"You can't be the only good boy!!"
だ。。誰だ。。。?こんなかわいい女子うちのクラスに。。。?
Who is that? Is this babe in my class?
As pecology corrected ^^
関谷さん。。。?いや。。。ちがう。。。
Sakiya-san...? No... it's not....
"Sekiya-san...? No... It's not her..."
私達先上がるね
We are getting out. (?)
It's fine. 先[に]上がる means "we're getting out [before you]" ^^
You could put it as "we'll be getting out then" too.
ふええ~
A sigh (I think??)
Yes, it's basically a whiny sigh XD
ひゅっく
A sob (i think?)
Yes XD
つ。。。月島さん~!
Tsukishima-san!
"It's Tsukishima-san~~~!!!"
It sounds better with an "it's", since it's a discovery

You forgot a か……かわいい!! ("S-so cute!!") on the last page

月島さんのメガネの奥に目がいきがちです
I would always see Tsukishima-san without her glasses (??).
"My eyes tend to look (or "wander") behind Tsukishima-san's glasses."
-がち means "to tend to", so いきがち is literally "tend to go"

I was brutally honest, as you requested! I hope it helped

Good luck with your translations



) but! Perhaps that's just because all the nice people who would help me are scared off by the "shoujo" genre! Don't worry, I'm scared of shoujo sometimes, too.