Gintama 361

If I had to put my hatred of this chapter on a scale of 1-10, well...lets just say they're still trying to invent a number that would appropriately describe my feelings.



(Side text- The TV anime airs every Monday night at 6pm!! The only place you can find it is on TV Tokyo!! This weeks episode is a Pool and Porori blast!! The Ooedo Gintama land Ooedo story is currently running! For further details check out the Ooedo Hotspring story Home page!!)

GINTAMA

(Sign- Shuiesha.)

(Side text- You're not reading 'Bakuman.' but 'Gintama'!!)

???: Um...

Do you think you could do away with the whole...

'Hungry but pure hearted' protagonist trope?

I've seen lots of newbies like you take comfort in drawing the same kind of story.

The 'I'm hungry' trope has become basically a tradition...and here you are starting out with this completely uninspired manga.

I get that guys like you look at One park's Zofi and burst with energy.

But it's one thing to like One park, and another to rip it off shamelessly.

Listen, I promise it won't hurt you to use your brain. If you're that wedded to the whole 'I'm hungry' spiel, that's fine and dandy...

But you've got to make it work in your own way. It's your manga, so find a way to make your voice dominant.

You're the only one who can draw a manga that you'd be satisfied with.

Have more self confidence, or you'll never be satisfied. You chose to raw manga because you like it right?

002

???: That's why you can't just throw the towel in here.

There's no substitute for your own life experience....no one else has seen what you have.

(Sfx- Shubooh fwoofsh)

{Honda J Vangard. 5th year on the Jump editorial department.}

{And right now I'm kind of in a hurry.}

{I'm in charge of the evilest and deemed most harmful by the government commission of books...}
{The worst of the jump nest, 'Gintaman'}

{Gintaman's somehow managed to trudge through 8 years of serialization, so it's been going for a bit..}

(Sfx- Uho uho)

{But the fact of the matter is that we've been relying on a Gorilla to draw the manga. The animal rights activists have banded against us and taken the Gorilla into custody. Gintaman itself is a manga where the elderly rule over the young after all.}

{The previous editors have all been thrust into the lowest ring of hell, and the Gorilla has been put into protective custody.}

(Sfx- Gaan gaan ca-clang.)

Konishi: Holy cow!

Saitou: Please! At least give me a window cell!

Nakazaki: I'm an elite! I'm different from these bastards!

003

{My head's on the chopping block.}

Dude: Vangard Gintaman seems like it'll live a little longer..

I heard he's supposed to get married soon too...poor guy.

{I have to find a way to keep my head from rolling...}

{So I've been trying to find a newbie to foster and eventually serialize in the place of Gintaman which was let go.}

{It's been tough searching through the newbies and their manga ideas day after day.}

{And so far my efforts haven't paid off. Each manga is the same as the one before it.}

{If only they'd use their own words and thoughts....}

{Their own life experience to draw a manga that mirrors their red hot passions. Are there no mangaka like that?!}

{It's like I'm waiting for my sentence to be carried out on death row.}

{Isn't there a newbie that can save me from this dark gaol?}

Lady: Vangard-san, 'N Number 3016' says he'd like to see you...

Vangard: Yeah, bring him here.

{N Number 3016....good lord. That sounds like one of those middles school brats who tries to enter the treasure contest....he probably just started writing manga today.}

{Even his friggin' pen name sounds juvenile.}

(Sfx- Zazaaan ssssh)

004

???: You may enter Number 3016!!

(Sfx- Kacha kacha clack clack)

Sachi: I'm prisoner 3016...

A pleasure to meet you.

(Sfx- Dooooon thoooom)

(Side text- Down the path of mangadom!!)

GINTAMA
SORACHI HIDEAKI.
Lesson 361: The painters known as mangaka use life experience as their paintbrush and canvas.

{A---A...}

{A...REAL NUMBER 3016 CAAAAAAAME!!!}

{I was hoping to be released from my incoming death row time..}

{But I got a guy who's totally experienced with being on death row!!}

005

{Why did no one tell me about thissssssss?!}

Guard: You've got 20 minutes.

(Sfx- Gashaaan clack)

Guard: If you take any longer than that, you'll be looking at the bars of a jail cell in hell.

{Why would you bring a prisoner who's obviously this dangerous to a meeting about drawing manga!?}

Sachi: I know you may have already chosen a winner for the treasures contest, and that we've only talked on the phone once...

But do you do you remember my story? It was about a boy who had already made a decision to kill himself, and the shinigami that appears to change his life...

{Non fictionnnnnnn?! As if someone would choose your story as a finalist or anything for that matter!!}

Sachi: In any case, I came here today to get your honest opinion...

(Sfx- kacha clack)

(Sfx- Dodododdo Tmtpmtmp)

Vangard: Gyahhh!!

Guard: Put your weapons down, Shachi!!

Sachi: I—It's just a round pen!!

I can't just put this away!!

(Sfx- Awawawaaaah)

Sachi: No matter what I'm gonna be a manga artist!!

006

Gintoki: SHUT YER TRAPS!!

(Sfx- Dogoooo Thoooom)

Guard: Gyahhhhhhhh!!

{What is it this time?!?}
Sachi: Bro!!

Guard: Sa---Sakata-san!

Gintoki: Are you guys peeing yourselves over this bastard? He's wearing cuffs for godssakes. Whatever, I'll just handle this myself. Just sit over there.

(Sfx- Para para clatter clatter)

Guards: Hot damn! With Sakata-san here we can relax! Well then lets go grab some tea!!

Gintoki: Hey dude, sorry about all the noise.

Sachi: You're late bro! I told you I get nervous on my own!!

(Sfx- Gata gata clatter clatter)

{Another weirdass has shown up!!}

Gintoki: Lets get introductions out of the way. I'm the artist and prisoner number 4264.

Sachi: I'm in charge of writing. I'm 3016.

Together we're Akurogi Musai. Pleased to meet you.

{Is this Pakuman you freaks?!}

(TN- Apparently it's a corruption of the pen name of the main characters in Bakuman.}

007

Vangard: Ah...so you've decided on a name together...?

Gintoki: We've decided for a while now that we're gonna do this together and make the final cut.

I've been reading jump for about 20 years now, so I'm pretty familiar with it's history.

Dude, your art is so friggin' old and childish.

Sachi: THEN YOU DO IT BRO!

Gintoki: So in the end this is how our roles were decided.

{So they've created a manga collaboration through the bars of prison?!}

Vangard: A—uh-huh...?

{These dangerous idiots want to draw a Shounen manga?! Ain't no way in hell!}

Gintoki: We did talk on the phone with you before, but that was getting nowhere. The best way to judge a manga is to read it, wouldn't you say?

{Th—This is bad. If it sucks and I call them out on it, who knows what'll happen?}

{I have to end this f---fast! If I can make them realize how impossible this is, maybe I can get home in one piece!}

{A—Anyway let me just start off by giving them some honest advice!}

Vangard: Er..so you want to make a story about a guy who's in prison and wants to commit suicide...that is until a Shinigami shows up?

And through that Shinigami he realizes how important life truly is? It's one of those human drama things right?

For one thing, isn't the story really...very dark? More like, why are all the people wearing those ripped up clothes? Is that all you draw?

I think it wouldn't hurt for the story to be slightly more lighthearted. Maybe you want to consider changing the theme.

008

Sachi: We lightened...

Things up a bit.

{Forget making things more lighthearted...}

{You've given all the main characters shoulder pads haven't you?!}

Sachi(?): If that's the case, we should make the shingigami more Gintaman-ish...and make the guards man a guards woman. There's nothing wrong with having two heroines.

{The only thing you guys doubled up is their shoulder pads! This isn't even about being a heroine any more!! It's just a shoulder pad fest!!}

009

Gintoki: If that's the case, we should lighten it all the way up and have the main character on death row...with a bunch of babes. He should be surrounded by a bunch of girls who totally want him. Who wouldn't want a daily life like that?

A lot of the Jump manga coming out now has stuff like this. The boys will love all the hanky panky going on.

{The only thing people will notice are the huge shoulder pads!!}

010

Vangard: A...prison harem....gotta say I've never seen that before.

Sachi: I know, right?!

Vangard: But...

You have to keep in mind that Jump is for middle school kids. Do you think having characters in prison would be such a good ide---

Sachi: Huuuuuh?!

(Sfx- Gahhh fwappp)

Sachi: You lookin' down on prisoners?! Don't you know that all of society is behind the bars of their self inflicted prisons?!

Vangard: Eeeeek!

Gintoki: Calm yourself number 3016. Vangard-san, we're already well aware of such a matter.

But you realize we're forging ahead with a all new type of love comedy. Not all of them have to be school affairs, you know?

The prison setting is a part of our identity....in fact, it's all we have. We can't go tossing it out..

We've even included a little fan service scene, courtesy of a nipple slip.

Guard: Oh my~ my pads have fallen off!

(Sfx- Porori droop)

{HOW IS TAKING SHOULDER PADS OFF A CHARACVTER FANSERVICE?!}

Gintoki: The way I see it, Yabuki-sensei includes all kinds of fanservice in the tank versions of his works. So we'll go that route and redraw the lady without her pads.

{Don't just redraw it, erase it completely!! More like, you've skipped a few important steps if you're talking tankobon!!}

Vangard: If you're talking about drawing a love comedy...then the art'll need more help.

And...why does it seem like there are only girls in this thing...?

011

Sachi: He's right bro...your drawings don't scream love comedy to me.

{Forget love comedy, these just suck out loud!}

Gintoki: You think so? I guess my art just matches the old style of jump. I am a bigger fan of the retro.

Sachi: You should use the round pen and not the G pen for the finer details.

{That's not the problem, it's the shoulder pads!!}

Vangard: I think you may need to reconsider this girl's design.

Do you have some sort of blueprint for her character design?

Gintoki: Sure do.

{Upper right- Left wing (pad) can faint an elephant in one second. Stores a reinforced stun gun.}

{Under upper right- Underneath plan.}

{Lower right- The warden is a girl after all~ Under here is a hair brush.}

{Armor removed.}

{Upper right wing (pad)- A whip that silence even crying babies and smash the strongest prisoners.}

{Warden.}

{Lower right- A gun with automatic firing and aiming capabilities. An amazing item that can activate on it's own.}

{Its basically a break down of what's inside the shoulder pads isn't it?!}

{Just who the hell would make shoulder pads like this?! Why do the shoulder pads seem so reminiscent of the 'cloths'?!}

(TN- I dunno...Saint Seiya reference?}

{Transformation.}

{Double shoulder pad seat.}

{How is this a love comedyyyyyy?!}

Gintoki: Well it is a jump manga after all, so we'll need to have some fighting going on. So in that regard, here's the shinigami heroine.

{Soul decapitation pad.}

{Shinigami}

{Left wing (pad)- When she's in a pinch, this can suck up souls.}

{Right wing (pad)- Holds an inordinate amount of spiritual power that can summon a mysterious blade, essential for shinigami---}

{Soul decapitation paaaaad?! WHYYYYY?! TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU IDIOTS LOVE YOUR PADS?!}

012

{Wh—what should I do?!}

Gintoki: Though this thing kind of sucks....I mean if only the drawings were a bit better.

Sachi: Yeah, the balance is completely off. Maybe that's what it's lacking.

{It's really hard to tell these guys that they're basically committing plagiarism!}

Vangard: Um...this storyboard is really rough isn't it?

Gintoki: Yeah, why does the storyboard look like something that someone's grandma scribbled up?

Vangard: Oh so number 3016 is the one who did the storyboard? So it was you who did the pen work number 4264?

Gintoki: Yeah, they didn't allow us to bring a round pen into prison.

Vangard: So that's why you had to use this rough storyboard during the treasure phase?

(Sfx- Pupu snicker)

Gintoki: Have a look for yourself. If it weren't for me inking things in, this guy would have been in big trouble.

Hot! Guard: Into the punishment chamber!!

{Uh, I hate to break it to you, but your pen made things marginally worse!!}

{It's obvious that you two need to trade positions!}

Sachi: It's not like I'm embarrassed or anything like that, bro!!

{More like, how could someone with a face as evil as his draw something so adorable?! This guy's come a long way hasn't he?! If he gets rid of the pads, he'd be a friggin prodigy!!}

013

Vangard: I—I get it...So how about next time you guys trade positions? I think that you'd do better if you alternated between writer and artist.
???: Eeh?!

Vangard: N—No! I'm just saying you could come up with something even mor eingredible if you were to change things around...

Sachi: You don't know what you're talking about!! I can't use a round pen!! Sure lately i've been able to commute back and forth because I'm a model prisoner, but it's a long trip!

(Handwritten- Uh, forget about the round pen, seriously.)

Vangard: That's fine, just send me the next storyboard by fax. Number 4264 can give me the run down, while number 3016 handles the drawing.

Sachi: Seriously?! I didn't think my drawings were any good bro!! I can't believe it!

{No, your drawings are kind of awesome.}

Gintoki: Eh, I guess this guy may have a point. Let's give it a shot! It might be interesting.

{Hey buddy, why is it you've been acting like such a big shot? You do realize you're the one dragging this team down!}

Gintoki: Thanks for coming out today.

We'll get that fax out to you for sure.

(Sfx- Viiiin veeen)

Vangard: All right, I'll look forward to it.

{Those drawings...}

{And a story drawn from the problems of life experience...}

{There are a mountain load of problems, but...}

{Could I have possibly....}

{Found an unbelievable talent within those guys?}

Dude: Vangard-san, a fax came for you.

Vangard: So that gorilla finally sent the storyboard?

014

Dude: No...

It's from some Akurogi Musai person.

{In just a day?}

{Dude. The newbies are faster than that gorilla...!}

(On paper- To Jump editorial department's Vangard-sama. We've drawn the storyboard, please enjoy it. From Akurogi Musai.)

{What's the title...?}

(Sfx- pira peeer)

{Shinigami? They're really going to keep pushing the whole shinigami angle huh?}

{There's still more written here...}

(Marked out- Prison of death//Death Prison//Death Prideath)

{Looks like they were having trouble deciding whether they wanted to have it take place in jail or have it about shinigami.}

{Um, okay this is just getting annoying. How about you guys knock it off already.}

(Marked out- Prideathprideath//Deathpriprideath//Priprideath.)

{To what extent is death and prison burned into your minds dammit?! Knock this off already!!}

{And now it's basically dropped the pretense of death and prisons all together! The 'death' has become the Japanese particle 'desu!'}

(Marked out- Chage desu (Its Chage)// Asuka desu (It's a historic era)// Chage and asuka desu (It's chage and a historic era.)

{Why has it degenerated into a Chage earth concert?! Is that where you guys are writing this from?!}

(Marked out- asuka and Chage desu (It's historic era and Chage) asuka and Chage and asuka desu (It's historic era and Chage and historic era.) Its asuka and Chage and asuka desu (It's historic era and chage and historic era.) asuka and asuka and cha-- (It's historic era and historic era and...)

{Are you guys having trouble deciding how to keep chage in the title?! Theres no reason for you to have chage and the historic era together anyway!!}

(Marked out- Chage is Asuka DEATH.)

{Now you guys are back to the DEATH motif?!}

(TN- Asuka is the name of a historic pre-nara era.)

015

(Circled- Chagesu note.)

{And you finally decide on a name that has nothing to do with anything!!}

{What the blue hell is Chagesu note?! Wait, you're not ripping of THAT are you?!}

Guy: Man, club activities sure ran late tonight...

{The name you wrote has nothing to do with what you decided on!!}

Guy: My shoulders hurt~

{What do you mean your shoulders hurt?! They friggin hurt to look at!! They've basically destroyed a panel!!}

{More like, this has nothing to do with Shinigami or prisons any more does it?! Why the hell do his shoulders have to be so friggin broad?!}

Guy: The moon tonight sure gives me a weird feeling....almost like something will come out.

{Not that I'd be able to see this mysterious moon since your shoulders are so massive!!}

{More like, they're actually breaking through panels like this! You're having to stretch them out just to fit his shoulders!}

Guy: Aww man, dog crap.

{Why did you put such a pointless scene in here?! Why does such a pointless scene have such a hugeass panel?! How long are you going to keep drawing things from this angle?!}

016

(Sfx- Basah fwap)

Guy: Whoa! Who dropped this Chagesu note?!

{HOW DOES HE ALREADY KNOW WHAT THAT THING IS?!}

Guy: The name is..

{Heeey!! Asuka is already written in there! Who wrote that?! Was it Chage?! Did Chage write it?!}

Guy: Asuka, Shimura, and Kyaku-san?

Why are these names written in here?

{Why's it gotta be those names?! Stop it! You're going to start a bunch of misunderstandings!!}

???: You've found something you would have been better off leaving alone...

{More like, who's using this to do math?! How quickly were you trying to get this storyboard done?! Were you worried about going over the page limit or something?!}

{Concentrate on drawing a manga, dammit!}

Guy: You're...!

(Written on paper- Akurogi Musai// Akurogi Musai~)

{Who the hell wants to see you practice your signature?!}

017
Girl: I'm the Shinigami Ryuko.

(Sign- To Kagura, I made some fried rice, so you'd better make sure to eat it. -Akurogi Musai.)

{The important scene's been written over!!}

{The Heroine's face has got notes about fried rice smeared all over it! More like, he's completely perfected his signature now!!}

Guy: I don't want red ham in it, I want char siu. Mak it with char siu.

It will be tastier that way, Death. -Kagura.

{QUIT USING THE STORYBOARD AS A CHATROOM!!}

{What the hell do these idiots think a storyboard is used for?!}

Ryuko: Gin-san, a client came earlier this after noon looking for you. Shinpachi.

{They're totally using this as a chatroom! And making it look like it's the natural thing to do!}

Guy: I see. Well then let me go handle this.

{Don't just have a leisurely conversation here!!}

018

(Sfx- Gashaaan claaang)

{WAIT A SEEEEEEEEEC!?}

{You guys used all the pages before it for your conversation!! I have no idea why he's here!!}

{What happened that the guy ended up going to jail?!}

{So the answer for me is this...}

{I have to write the name of the person I want to chageatize in this book...}

{Chageatize?! What the hell is that?!}

{Ryuko and Haruko are the women that have fallen for me...}

{Did a scene like that happen?!}

{The both of them have brought me so much happiness, that it's hard to decide which one I want to chageatize....}

{Apologize to chageeeeeeee!!}

I want Chamosuke to be happy, so I don't mind becoming a chage for it.

But I want to become Asuka with you forever...

{Heeey!! I can't tell whats going on in this scene because of her shoulder pads!! Why can't I see her face in this scene?!}

Haruko: if you don't make him happy...

I'll thrust you in the punishment chamber.

{Who's talking here!? Who's shoulder pad is thaaat?!}

019

{They just wanted my happiness....}

{They're both gone now, and those peaceful feelings will never come back...not without them..}

{I treasured them....Chage and asuka....}

(In book- Chamosuke)

{Why are they trying to force this story to work?!}

Chamosuke: This is how it has to be...

There is nothing I can do to protect them...they wanted to protect my peace.

{Why would they want to protect your peace by throwing you in jail!?}

Guard: Hey, what's your name?

Chamosuke: I dunno, I seem to have forgotten it.

Guard: Here's a letter.

Chamosuke: That's...

It was from the humans on earth...they had written for me.

And the letter had finally gotten to me...

020

{A love letter...}

(On letter- Gintoki, unless you're paying ALL of the rent this month, don't bother showing your sorry face around here again. -Otose)

(Sfx- Basah fwap)

Vanguard: You know that whole 'I'm hungry' protagonist?

It's a great place to start!

Imitating other works is definitely the best place to start. Nowadays it's what attracts the masses.

There's no point in thinking about how to be original, or how you can use your own life as inspiration!

???: Hey, who's Vanguard talking to?

Dunno.

I heard they put him in here for the Gorilla's sake.

Why?

(Handwritten- Holy cow!)

(Handwritten- I want a window cell!)

(Handwritten- I don't belong here! I'm elite!)

(Handwritten- Whistleee!~)

???: The wild gorilla seems to be afraid of HIM.

(Side text- Drawing manga is tough!)

GINTAMA LESSON 361................END.