Hell Teacher Nube 33

Though he is the notable exorcist in the area, Nube doesn't always get the time to do everything he needs to. But when he has to go away and his students try an exorcism on their own...they may realize why he's the professional!

Vol. 5: The Mystery of the Cannibalistic Mona Lisa
#33: Who is the 5th Person!?

8.
Narrator: THROUGHOUT THE WORLD, THERE ARE MANY SPIRITS OF CHILDREN WHO DIED WHEN AT THE AGE THEY’RE IN THEIR PRIME OF WANTING TO PLAY, EVEN IN MISFORTUNE. MANY OF THEM ENVIOUSLY THINK ABOUT YOU PLAYING LIVELY.
Narrator: AND THUS, THESE SPIRITS GATHER IN SCHOOLS ADORED BY ALL OF YOU. THIS THING IS THE BIRTH OF YET ANOTHER OF THE SEVEN MYSTERIES.
(TN: I could have actually said “great wonders” here, but in Japanese it is literally “nanafushigi” which is “seven mysteries” or “seven wonders”.)
SFX: BON BON

9.
SFX: BON BON
Voice: IT APPEARED~~!!
Boy: Huh, huh, is there something there!?
Sign: GYM STOREROOM
Nube: U—m, seems so~~~
Boy: This skill is bad. If we had the money, we’d ask for a much more skilled spiritualist but.
Girl: Hurry up. Don’t play around.
Nube: Well I’m not playing with anything in here!

10.
Hiroshi: Well? Nube, is there something here!?
Nube: Yes. It’s the spirit of an 11-12 year old child who died in a car accident within the year. He’s seemed to have become lonely watching everyone playing and has settled down at this school.
Katsuya: Really? Then, can you exorcise it immediately?
Nube: No, today I have a funeral for an acquaintance starting now.
Students: Eh~~
Kids: Exorcize it—exorcize—
SFX: GAJI GAJI GAJI
Nube: THEY’RE LIKE PIRAHNAS (out loud) Owowow
Nube: I’ll carefully do it when I come back! At any rate, it’ll be no good if I don’t head out there today!
SFX: GYA—GYA—
Can: TRASH CAN
Nube: This afternoon will be self-study! If something happens, please call me here.
Kyouko: Ye—s.

11.
Boy 1: Chie—didn’t he speak of skill and run off.
Boy 2: Nube is a fake after all.
Hiroshi: Hey, lower grades, even teacher isn’t something for your convenience.
Kyouko: Right! He’s a person with, what’s called, the situations of an adult.
Boy: What’s adult about him? He’s hiding just a bit and foolish from the head.
Kyouko: WHAT’S THAT, HUH~~!!
Hiroshi: Hey, hey.y
SFX: GA—
Boy: Hey, big brothers, you should know well about spirits since you’re in Nube’s class.
Hiroshi: N? Um, well, though he is a spirit specialist, that isn’t an exaggeration!
Boy: Then, big brothers, exorcise it---!!
Girl: You’ll be honored as spiritualists by grade schoolers!

12.
Voices: You big brothers are cool and strong and trustworthy. And the big sisterws are beauties—
Hiroshi: Well~~we may be of that extent! (HAHAHA)
Boy 1: It’s easy to take them!
Boy 2: There’s a rumor that Nube’s students are all single-celled.
(TN: “Single-celled” is in reference to the Japanese term “Tansaibou”, which literally is “single cell” and probably tied to single-celled organisms like protozoa)
Hiroshi: We were caught in the moment and made that promise.
Katsuya: What—do we do? An exorcism by us…
Kyouko: First of all, we don’t have even a method to summon spirits.
Miki: Hey hey, why don’t we do “Square”?
Kyouko: “Square”?
Miki: It’s a spirit-descending technique that even a novice can do. The way to do it is easy: four people stand one-person each in the four corners of a room.
Miki: Then, first the first person walks against the wall and tags the next person. The person who was tagged again tags the next person again similarly…
Miki: Therefore, the fourth person should end up with a lap, since they can’t touch anyone, right? However, somehow we have to continue this with more than two laps…!
Caption: Annotation: PLEASE NEVER COPY THIS DUE TO ITS DANGER

13.
Hiroshi: ? Well, would it be strange to continue it with more than two laps?
Katsuya: Right: the 5th person that appears at that moment is…
Kyouko: Reasonably the spirit!
Miki: Well? If the spirit appears with that, then with the Divine Spell of Byakue
Kyouko: That’s great, we’ll do it!
Hiroshi: ? ? (Hifuro mi…)
Caption: Hiroshi-kun doesn’t understand yet (Isn’t smart)
Nube: Strange…I have some uneasiness…
Voice: Everyone, to the burning incense in order…
(TN: A bit of cultural knowledge: as part of a wake prior to a funeral (which is typically a cremation), every member in attendance will offer three pieces of incense to honor the dead as part of a Buddhist ceremony: the family members partake in one urn around the deceased itself while the rest partake in the incense ritual at stations around the funeral location.)
Old Woman: Think of where you were born so you can brush your eyes, when you stand in the abyss of pain and sadness.

14.
Nube: Hoo, that’s Kotodama.
(TN: “Kotodama” literally translates into “Language Spirit” and has a meaning of “the power of language”.)
Old Woman: Yes, this is a poem of spiritualists of a distant era…I’ve saved this.
Nube: From its combination of words, a kotodama is an object that possesses spiritual power within the words of it. Even people who don’t possess spiritual abilities can quiet spirits and have them come to rest in peace by reading these.
Nube: Ah. (to himself) It’s rare these days…
Nube: However, this uneasiness…this can’t be something about the students…?
SFX: GORO GORO GORO

15.
Students: They’re finally starting the exorcism, I’m excited! But is this fine: the thing within the gym storeroom can entirely emerge to the outside.
Hiroshi: We’ve darkened it so it will be easier for the spirit to appear. When the 5th spirit appears, I’ll say stop and we’ll then shine our own faces with these flashlights.
Caption: Hiroshi finally comprehends “Square”.
Hiroshi: The person who doesn’t shine their face is the 5th spirit.
SFX: KACHI
Hiroshi: START!

16.
Narrator: As such, the simple spirit-descending method “Square” started.
SFX: TATATA
Hiroshi: Tag.
SFX: PATSU!
Miki: OK, here I come.
SFX: TATATA…
Narrator: But even with how it was done, they stopped with one lap.
Kyouko: Huh, there’s no one here. We’ll redo this…
Narrator: As explained at the start, there can only be one-lap with four people.
Katsuya: Aah, I’m tired…I can’t do this anymore…
Kyouko: Again?
Narrator: But…thirty minutes had passed…
Kyouko: Somehow this has come to be stupid. The 5th person emerging somehow doing it forever like this is…
SFX: NURU!
Kyouko: Eh…?

17.
Boy: Hey, they’ve been doing it for an hour already.
Girl: They’ve been entirely going round and round since earlier…
Girl: It can’t be that the 5th person has appeared?
SFX: ZAWA
Students: Noo~~~
Hiroshi: Strange…!
SFX: TATATATA
Kyouko: We’ve truly increased a person!!
Kyouko: Wh…what exactly are you!?
Katsuya: H…hey, it can’t be that you’re…?
Miki: No…it can’t be, that’s…

18.
Hiroshi: It’s true, we’ve increased a person…who is it…what…exactly…
Hiroshi: STOP—
SFX: SHI—N…
Hiroshi: Turn on your light! I’m Hiroshi!
SFX: KACHI!
Kyouko: I’m Kyouko.
Miki: Miki-chan.
Katsuya: It’s Katsuya.

19.
All: And that’s…?
Miki: Ah…sorry, I was bad in touching it. I—t’s Miki.
SFX: KACHI
Kyouko: Eh!? Th…that’s a lie.
Katsuya: But Miki is here.
Hiroshi: No…I handed flashlights to all of us. The person holding the flashlight is the real one.
Hiroshi: So then the 5th person is…

20.
SFX: NITAA
“Child”: KYAAAAA!!
Kyouko: Hii
Miki: It appeared~~~!!

21.
Miki: N…noo~~
Hiroshi: We’re stupidly getting scared. Haven’t we passed through our plans up to here?
Hiroshi: Al…alright, we’ll start the exorcism. NAMU DAIJI DAIHI KYUUGU KYUUNAN…
Hiroshi: KOUDAI REIKAN BYAKUE KANZEON
“Child”: I’m lonely…
“Child”: LET’S PLAAAAAAAAY~~
SFX: GABA!
Hiroshi: Ge!
Kyouko: HIROSHI!!

22.
Kyouko: The Kannon Sutra doesn’t work! It’s no good even if you chant it to people without spiritual power.
Kyouko: Please let go, you, you…
SFX: SUKA SUKA
Narrator: This is a typical spirit. However, to Hiroshi, who is without spiritual power, it’s a dreadful being that he can’t even lay a hand on. He had forgotten the terror of spirits due to always being saved by Nube…THEY HAD BECOME NAÏVE ABOUT SPIRITS.
Hiroshi: Uwaaaa
SFX: GACHIKA
Student: Hi—it’s come out—
Kyouko: Hiroshi! Hiroshi’s getting killed—
Miki: Nube!!
Kyouko: !!

23.
Woman: Nueno-sensei, it’s a phone call from your student but.
Nube: What, you’ve summoned a spirit by yourselves!?
Kyouko: That’s right, come and save us!!
Nube: Even if I go, it’ll take over an hour to go from here to the school!! How could you do that stupid thing…!! There isn’t a way to suppress a spirit that has materialized to all of you without spiritual po…
Nube: No…
Nube: Pardon me! Please let me borrow that Kotodama from earlier!
Nube: Fine! Faithfully repeat the words I will read from now! This is a kotodama: it lodges spiritual power within words itself; go!

24.
Kyouko: Think of where you were born so you can brush your eyes.
Kyouko: When you stand in the abyss of pain and sadness
Miki: Wh…what is that?
Kyouko: It’ll be fine; all of you repeat these as well.
Kyouko, Miki and Katsuya: Delightfully cheer up even on grudging matters. We have feelings of reincarnation so we can brush our eyes.
“Child”: OOOOH…
SFX: BURU BURU BURU
Kyouko, Miki & Katsuya: We have been born not cursing pain.

25.
Kyouko, Miki & Katsuya: WE THINK SO WE CAN ENTIRELY BRUSH OUR EYES…!!
(TN: I probably screwed that Kotodama up big time, please proofread it before using it for any scanslations or anything)
SFX: JUUUUU
Nube: Really! You can’t show naivite to spirits!
Nube: It would have been better if you had played much more due to it being a pitiful~spirit that emerged lonely.
Hiroshi: We acted recklessly.
Miki: We’ll reflect on that.
Nube: Well, nothing I can do for you finishing it off. All of you did remake your respect for your teacher again. It’s funeral manjuu…a present. Eat these.
(TN: While typically a sweet eaten on its own, manjuu are typically used as well as a delicacy for funerals)
Students: OOH!
Nube: Huh!? There were five and yet…where’s mine!?
Hiroshi: Huh…? Didn’t a 5th person eat it?
Narrator: Nube wasn’t very respected after all.

26.
NUBE-SENSEI’S GREAT YOUKAI ENCYCLOPEDIA

24. The Dreaded Secret Room

There is a short story by Edgar Allan Poe called “The Pit and the Pendulum”. This is a masterpiece that draws a tale of a man who was tormented by the terror of something drawing closer bit by bit within a pitch-black secret room. In every place in the world, East and West, a “secret room” is a thing that stirs up a feeling of terror to people.

Well there actually is a method that resembles “Square”, the descending-spirit method introduced this time, but it already existed in the Edo period. This was called “The Old Woman of the Corner”. This is a thing where four people sat in the four corners of a pitch-black room, crawl to the center of the room and touch the head of another person. Since you can’t touch your own, head, you should only touch the head of three people, yet they said that they certainly touched the head of four people. It may be easy to call a spirit in a room marked off with four corners.

Incidentally, what made this descending-spirit technique “Square” became famous came on the occasion of the incident of an accident which occurred on a snowy mountain at that time. An accident occurred to a mountaineering party of five and one member ended up dying, but the remaining four safely descended the mountain the next morning. Facing an interview, they answered “the surviving four ended up not sleeping since they repeatingly did an exercise where they would move around the four corners of a mountain hut”, but there came to be an uproar that said that they couldn’t for any reason, do that with four people. Obviously, since the surviving quartet did it without knowing, they surly became surprised. Perhaps they may have been joined in by the dead one.

(TN: A couple notes:
1. Possibly one of Edgar Allan Poe’s most famous tales, “The Pit and the Pendulum was written in 1842 and was about the torture of a prisoner of the Spanish Inquisition, culminating in the infamous torture by the approaching pendulum to the captured person. Unlike most of Poe’s tales, which were driven by supernatural creatures or incidents, this is one of the only where the horror is driven by the senses tied to the approached of the dooming pendulum.
2. The “Edo-era Square” in Japanese is “Suma no Basama”, with “suma” being an alternate reading of “sumi” or “corner” and “Basama” being “old woman” or “grandma”)

TN: This chapter may feel somewhat minor to some people or maybe silly, but it is one that has to set the line straight regarding the difference between those with spiritual power...and those without...not to mention how lucky Hiroshi, Kyouko and the others are for having Nube around in the first place. While you can admire the determination to do an exorcism on their own, the fact remains: if you don't have the power to handle an exorcism, even something as simple as a boy who wants to play can be nearly killer! There is a possibility that Miki really could have been more handy with this (considering we know she has a disposition for spiritual power with the Rokurokubi incident) or there is a way they could get better equipped regarding handling these weird incidents, but they're such novices and merely just students that they were forced to rely on a long-distance Kotodama in order to settle the ghost. (who turned into Munsch's "Scream" for a moment before going away) But then again, you can't really blame Nube's students, considering the real culprits are the underclassmen who tried to manipulate Nube...and then Hiroshi's group into handling the ghost leading to the chaos which occurred! It did nearly work but I think they just need to realize why the professional can do what they do and wait things out until Nube gets back...unless there is another means.