Holyland 12

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Page 027
悪かったな
I'm sorry, man,

最近ー
for...

会ってもシカトしててよ
ignoring you whenever I'd see you lately.

しかたないよ
I don't blame you.

あんな恐ろしいメにあえばー
Anyone who has something that terrifying happen to them,

誰だって係わり合いたくなくなるんじゃないかな
probably wouldn't want to get mixed up with me anymore.

Page 028
どうしてだ？
Why?

え？
Huh?

どうしてあんな事が出来る？　お前ー
Why can you do that?

ジムにでも行ってんのか？
Are you going to a gym or something?

そ　そんなスゲェ　ならオレも通っちゃおーかなー　なんて
Th-that'd be awesome. I wonder if I could start going there.

し　したら二人で怖いモンなしじゃん！！
I-if I did there'd be nothing for the two of us to fear!!

Page 029
に　二年位前から・・・
S-since about two years ago...

ほ　本を見て・・
I-I've been reading this book...

ハア？
Huh?

本～？
A book?

フ
D-

フ
Do-

フカシこいてんじゃねーよ！！
Don't try and hide shit from me!!

本見て出来りゃーそこいらおっかねぇ奴らだらけだっつーの！！
If you could get that from a book then everybody would be a bad ass!!

ユウ・・・オレはマジに聞いてんだぜ
Yuu... I'm asking you seriously, man.

オレはこんなにマジに人に物を聞いた事はねえ
I've never asked anyone anything this seriously before.

Page 030
シンちゃん・・・
Shin...

な、なんだ・・・？怒ったんか？
Wh-what...? You mad?

ち　ちょっ　ユウ！　まてっ！！
W-wai-- Yuu! Wait!!

Page 031
のわあ！！！
Wah!!!

や　やっぱり　ス　スゲ・・・ェ
C-completely awe-... some.

こんなモンが本見た位で・・・
No way you could get that just from reading a book...

毎日ー
I...

Page 032
五千回位振りつづけたと思う
I did that about five thousand times a day.

５
Five,

せ・・・ん？
Thou-... sand?

なんだって　そんな・・・とてつもねぇ・・・
Wait, but that's... I can't believe it...

第一出来んのかよ・・・五千回なんて
First of all, is that even possible... five thousand?

学校・・・行ってなかったんだ
I... didn't go to school.

時間はあったんだよ・・・
I had time...

聞いた事あるぜ・・・クラスの奴からお前ー
I heard about that... from some of the guys in class...

中学の時不登校だった・・・
You were absent all middle school...

考えたくなかったんだ
I didn't want to think.

Page 033
いじめられてるとか学校へ行ってないとかそのありあまる時間
About being bullied, about not going to school, about all my free time.

何も考えずに過ぎるように
I wanted to get by without thinking of anything.

何も考えずに・・・過ぎる？
Get by without... think of anything?

なんだよ・・・
What...

それ・・・
do you mean...

そう　僕は考えたくなかった
Yeah. I didn't want to think.

何も考えず何も感じず過ごす為の
I was looking for an out,

逃げ道を　さがしていた
where I didn't have to think, and I didn't have to feel.

Page 034
日常化したいじめは僕にとって
The bullying I had to deal with everyday,

それ程絶望的なものだったんだ
made me so desparate.

この日常を耐えつづける事より僕はー
So because I thought it was better than enduring those days,

いや耐える為にー
no, so I could endure them,

あらゆる感覚を閉ざす事を心がけていった
I devoted myself to shutting out all sensation.


Page 035
僕はー
I...

無感になりたかった
I wanted to be numb.

そして　いろいろな物をあきらめていった
So I abandoned many things.

成績
My grades.

友人
My friends.

社会
Society.

将来
My future.

Page 036
そのうち僕は学校へ行かなくなった
Then I stopped going to school.

小さな箱世界で
I devoted myself to becoming pure

僕はさらに純化を心がけた
in my small boxed in world.

寂しさや悲しみ
So sadness, loneliness

不安に潰されないようにー
and anxiety wouldn't destroy me...

Page 037
ユウ
Yuu.

顔色がよくないな・・・ちゃんと寝てるのか？
You look pale... have you been sleeping alright?

パソコンやってるのよね
He's been on his computer.

ユウちゃんは
Right, Yuu?

そうか　今は学校へ行かなくてもインターネット講座とかがあるからな
Oh yeah, you don't have to go to school now because there are internet courses and things.

そうよね
That's right.

ガンバルわよ・・・ね
Keep it up... okay?

Page 038
ススンでるかもー　私　パソコン全然わかんないしー
He's probably getting along nicely. I don't know how to use computers at all.

以外に家族は僕の勝手を受け入れてくれた
Surprisingly enough my family accepted my selfishness.

オマエも勉強したらどうだ
How about you study, too?

そうよォー
Yeah--

曖昧な寛容が
Their vague tolerance

僕を少し楽にした
made me feel a bit more at ease.

Page 039
ミタコトガアル・・・
I've seen them before...

アノ目ハ見タコトガアル
That stare.

あれは学校で見た
I saw it at school.

奴ら以外のー
And not just them...

Page 040
あれは奴らの後ろに
Behind them,

いつもあった
they were always there.

教室で
In the classroom,

職員室で
the teacher's lounge,

そしてー
and...

知っている　あれは
I know what it is.

Page 041
あの目の奥は
In the depths of that gaze,

同じ・・・
the same...

憐憫の目だ
look of pity.

Page 042
落伍者を見る目だ
It's how you look at failures.

以来ー　僕はコントロールを失ってしまった
After that... I lost control.

Page 043
純化と
Purity,

無意味な爆発を
and meaningless explosions,

繰り返しー
were my life...

僕は
I,

一つの答えに
I ended up

いきついた
with one solution.

Page 044
終わろう
End it.

それは避け続けてきた答えだ
The one solution I'd tried to avoid.

なぜなら
Because...

Page 045
その答えが最後だから
That solution would be the end.

今の僕には
And as I was then,

避ける理由（ざいりょう）見あたらない
I couldn't find a means to avoid it.

ー僕の望みはー
... My only wish...

Page 046
永遠に無感になる事ー
was to be numb...

それはつまり
And this

そういう事だ
is what that means.

Enjoy.