Desert Punk 8

Desert Punk, Volume 2, Chapter 8 (pp. 35~66)


<35>
=That's the village?
=Yeah, that's the village.


<36>
The 21st Settlement Village in the West Oasis District.
That's our village.


<37>
=Looks like a filthy, lowlife village to me.
=All settlements are like that.

=But it's a whole nother story if there's water.

=They say every oasis starts from a single well.
=We'll never have to worry about money again if we get hold of a village with water.

=If there really is water.
=They're not even sure, right?

=We'll find out soon.


<38>
=That's true.
=We'll be back when that happens.
=That shabby-looking village will shine with promise if there is.

=EEEK

=W-W-
=W-

=We're in trouble—!


<39>
[x4]RUCK

[sign]West Oasis District//21st Settlement Village
GR-GR-GR-GR

=The settlement village. A village created to dig wells. I shouldn't have to explain how super rare and important water is in this hellish desert.
=All the poor motherfuckers in the Kanto Great Desert assemble in these villages, dreaming of the one in a million chance of hitting it big. That, is the settlement village.
BEEP
BEE—P
GWHOOSH


<40>
CREEAK—
PSHHHH—

=Phew—Finally here, huh.
ZUP

=I'm taking the blindfold off.
=Y-Yessir.

=Geez, you've gotta be...
=Huh!?


<41>
=Whoa—I'd heard stories, but...
=This is way worse than I ever imagined—!

=So this the settlement village, huh.
=KAH—//PHWECK!

=Sorry for bringing you out like this after asking you for your help...
=But us poor folk are just... Very timid when it comes to this sort of thing...
[arrow]Village mayor

=If we find water, we can get aid and protection from the Oasis government, but...//Until then...
=We don't want the outside world to know that this village even exists, let alone that it might have water.
=Well yeah—That makes sense.


<42>
=Alright, let's see the proof that you guys've struck water.
=No water means no money,//And no money means no paycheck for me.

=Oh wait, no water means no bandits, either.
=Hah-hah-hah, now that's just sad.

=The dirt from the well.


<43>
=It's moist...
SQUISH
=Yessir...//The more we dig, the more moisture there is.

=Did you test it?
=Yessir.
=No harmful chemical substances were detected.

Hmm—

=You did it, mayor—!
Really!?
=This village is gonna make leaps and bounds—!//People and money are just gonna start flooding in, and you can say bye-bye to poverty—!


<44>
WAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH

=Ve—ry good. I'll take the job. You can pay me after you get the water.
=That'll be 1 million yen.
=WHAAA—T!?

=1 million is peanuts once you strike water, mayor.
=P-E-A-N-U-T-S.
=Hmm...

=Alright, done!
=Let's work out the details over a nice glass of water.


<45>
=Four strong-looking men wearing Kirisame Type 100 helmets...
[sign]21st Settlement Village Central Supply Center
=All kinds of weapons from big to small, huh.

=...And? Were they saying anything? Not like I actually care, but still.
GULP
U-
Uhh—
=Like there's a pretty good chance we'll find water,//And they'll be back if we do find it...

=Hmm—So they know a lot, huh.
="Very well-informed..." Got it.
=W-Well...?
=How about it?


<46>
=Hmm—
CREAK

=Oh...

=Ohh!
TH-THUD
[x5]GLUB
=Ohhh—!

=PHEW—!
=Ahh—

=Uck—
=It's kinda lukewarm and smelly and disgusting...


<47>
=Huh?
=Whoa—He finished the whole glass in one gulp.
[x3]UCK
=These city folk sure are bold—!
=And he said it was disgusting.
Hah-hah-hah...
=We'd never be able to do something like that...

=A-And!?//How about it? Are we going to be okay!?
=Master!//Master Desert Punk!

Master!?

=NYA-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH

ZUP
=Who do you think you're talking to?


<48>
=I'm Desert Punk.
=The biggest, baddest motherfucker in Kanto.

=It's the Edogawa Gang. I'm almost positive.
=They make up for their small numbers with a good information network. They never act hastily. Pretty cool and efficient.//They're somewhere around the B+ range out of all the bandits in Kanto.


<49>
=You seem quite sure of yourself.
=I took the info and ran it through my villain dossiers, and the Edogawa Gang was the only one that fit the description.

=Villain dossiers?
=Indeed. Over the years, I've been smart enough to keep tabs//On the couple thousand or so villains sponging around the Kanto Great Desert. It's chock full of data. Everything from facts to rumors.
[writing]Villain Dossiers
=Wow—That's truly impressive, sir—

=So... How long till the water comes up?
=A few days, sir.
=Oh, okay. I'll be hanging out till it's time for me to work.

=Oh, and bring me a map of the surrounding area and the village register. I wanna take a look at it.
=Y-Yessir.

=Kay, see ya—Good luck with the well—


<50>
=Nya-hah-hah-hah-hah—!
=Wee-hee-hee-hee-hee—!
ZUP

=C'mon—! Drink up—!
Dwa-hah-hah-hah-hah
=It's all on the mayor—!


<51>
=Hey—Relax. Don't be so uptight.
=Huh? Work?//Who cares—Forget about it.
=I'm here to protect this village—!

=Master Desert Punk—!//Rumors of your feats have reached even the lowliest of villages like this one—!//A mind as sharp as a razor blade, coupled with bravery and decisiveness!
=The super-handyman who solves difficult cases left and right with his super-outstanding skills!//Yup! That's Desert Punk!
=Nah-hah-hah, what a jolly fellow. What's your name, dude?


<52>
=Oh no, I'm not worthy of an introduction...
=Now—Now—Now—Have a drink. Chance meetings don't come by everyday.

=As one would expect from Kanto's very best—//Such generosity!
What a man—!
=Nya-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!

=Gee—I truly am in awe of your greatness! Please allow me to be your servant!
=I'll take care of everything you need during your stay!
=My name is Tamehiko Kawano! I'm just a rowdy, everyday guy with no skills to boast, but—//I'm at your service!
=Hmm!
[sign]21st Settlement Village Central Supply Center

[sign]No Unauthorized Entry//Keep Out

[x2]=HUFF


<53>
G-G-G-GREAK

[x3]=HUFF

[x3]FLAP
=*sigh*—This place is like heaven compared to outside. And there's free water, too.
BLEH—
=Yes, this is the only decent building in the entire village—


<54>
[x4]RATTLE
=Watch out—!

=AHHHH—!
TH-TH-TH-THUD

=Heita—!
=Heita's in trouble—!

=M-My leg—!
=Heita—!

=Hey girl—!
=Wanna come drink some water—?


<55>
=Oh wait. Never mind, she's ugly.
DAMN

=Aren't there any other people besides ugly bitches and poor people in this village?
=It's just sad, isn't it—
[x2]PUFF

=I'm thirsty, Mom. I wanna drink some water—
=No honey. We have to give our water to the person who's here to protect the village.

=Oh!

=Oh...
[x3]GLUB

=Ahh... My lunch...
=Put in on the mayor's tab.
=Yuck...
[x2]MUNCH


<56>
DAH-HAH-HAH-HAH

[sign]West Oasis District//21st Settlement Village Office

=Ahh... Well—
=We're almost there. And besides, there's nothing we can do.//We're asking him to fight for us when we haven't even paid him anything.

=Do you even know how much water he's had!?
=Half a day's worth for the whole entire village!
=I can't even tell whether he's here to rob us or protect us!


<57>
=And Tamehiko...!
=He forgot all about how we saved him from dying off in the desert.
[x2]SOB

=He was trying to get on our good side just a few days ago, but then he turns right around and latches onto that bastard...
=Now he's following him around doing whatever the hell he pleases.

=I can't stand that attitude...!
=Making fun of us just 'cause we're poor...!//Fucking brat—!

=Besides, is a kid like that—
=Really gonna be able to protect the village all by himself, mayor!?
BLAM
=Don't worry. The West Oasis handyman's guild leader gave his word.

=It's better if we only have to hire one man.
=If we hire 4 guards to defeat 4 men, we'll have to prepare 4 times the food and water, and there's 4 times the chances of something going wrong.

=And hiring lots of no-name guards doesn't guarantee our safety, either.
=So I decided it would be best to hire someone with fame and experience.


<58>
Just a little more patience.
If we hold out just a little bit longer, we'll be rewarded for all our hard work.

=What are we doing here, Master?
=And what's with the map of the village?

=Oh! You're coming up with a plan to fend off the bandits, aren't you!
=Sorta.
=And!? What are you planning on doing!? Are you going to lay a trap and ambush them!?

=The question is, where are those guys are gonna try and invade the village.
=Their objective is the well. And they don't know that we know about their plan,//Or that I'm guarding the village.
=Taking all that into consideration, the ambush point will be...
=Will be—!?


<59>
=There!?
=Ohh—! I see—!

=Alright then, I'll be heading off for today.
[x2]BOW
=Huh.

=Well then.

=My my,//If it isn't Master Desert Punk.

=Whoa!!


<60>
=She's hot!!
=What were you doing with that shovel?

=Man—! So there was a hot girl in this village after all!
=And she's got pretty nice tits, too—!
[x2]WHOOSH
[x2]YA—Y

=I'm the 21st Settlement Village youth leader.
WHAP
=Mariko Marimo.

=There's something I'd like to ask you.


<61>
=Seems like you've got the mayor convinced, but...
=You see, we're just not sure what to make of you.
ZUP

=...Which means?

=We want to test,
=Whether you're really fit to protect this village.

=Oh—Alrighty then.

WHACK
CRACK
[x2]WA—
SPLAT


<62>
BOO~P
=Are you convinced now?

=Uck!!
[x2]*wobble*
BLA~M
=H-He's strong...!

=I'm not losing to poor bastards who've barely had anything to eat.
[x2]HUFF
*wobble...*

=Lemme tell you one thing. I swear on my title as the strongest guy in Kanto,
=That I always get the job done...//...Is what I'd normally say.
[x3]HUFF


<63>
=But this sorta thing lowers my motivation, ya know. So you gotta take responsibility.
=Responsibility?
[x2]*wobble*
GRIP

=Do me.

=A-
=Alright.


<64>
Wow, that was easy.
=WHAAA—T!?

=But that's only if you manage to protect the village!

=You can do whatever you please.
=As long as you keep our village safe,

=I'll do anything it takes to allow the people of this village to live like real human beings.
=That's what I've been working for all these years. I've made it this far by crawling on the ground, and being scorched to death by the sun.

Ahh...
Ahh—
Man, it sucks to be poor.
[x3]*sob*
Ahh—


<65>
=Afterwards,
=Desert Punk kept on partying with Tamehiko.//During which,

=The long-awaited water,
=Finally came gushing out of the well.

=The villagers were overjoyed.
[x2]Hooray—!
[x2]POP
Yeah—
We're not poor anymore—!
WAHHHH—!
NWAHHHH—!
Hooray—!


<66>
=And now.

The men—
Have arrived!!