Desert Punk 9

All of my translations are RESERVED


Desert Punk, Volume 2, Chapter 9 (pp. 67~98)


<67>
=Man—You were right, Nanamagari. That shitty-ass village,//Looks like it's shining now.
=So? What now?
=A village with water is priceless here in the Kanto Great Desert.
=Hmph. And to think the hired gun would be Desert Punk, of all people.

WHIRRRR


<68>
=Let us take. And let us be grateful.
=The priceless village, and the reputation as strongest in the Kanto Desert.
GWHOOSH


<69>
=After spending ten or so years grinding life and limb, the 21st Settlement Village has finally struck water.
=But there's no time for celebrations. The entire village is already on full alert.
=ZZ—ZZT//Z... ZZT

=12 hours after water was discovered, jamming has severed all radio contact.
[x2]=ZZT...
=The village is now completely isolated.

And the enemy is approaching.

[x6]THUD


<70>
[x3]GACHUK
ZZT

[x2]=HUFF
=HEE
=HAH

=A-Are you sure it's okay to gather all the men to the front entrance of the village!?
=The women and children have been evacuated into the Central Supply Center. No one else is left.

=That Edogawa Gang is gonna come in pretending to be travelers or merchants or something.//Apparently, that's what they always do.
=So Desert Punk said they'd be coming in east of the front entrance.
[sign]21st Settlement Village Central Supply Center


<71>
=I-I see. 4 men walking in from the front entrance... No one would really suspect them of being bandits.
=H-He's a pro alright. Never woulda thought of something like that.
=He's still a fucking bastard though.
[sign]West Oasis District//21st Settlement Village

=—And? Where'd the fucking bastard go?
=He said he was gonna go take a look around with Tamehiko.


<72>
=Shouldn't we be over with the others?
=Forget about them.
=...Huh?

=The enemy won't be coming in from the east.
=They'll be coming from the South. From that skeleton city over there.
=Whaaat!?

=Wanna know why?

=Because I've got—
=The best, super-duper, most craziest skills in the Kanto Desert.


<73>
=What are you talking about!?

=How come they aren't going to come in from the east!?
=What was the point of getting everyone over to the front entrance!?
=Mari-chan

=What's wrong—? Did you come looking for me because you're lonely—?
=I came to make sure you weren't slacking off.

=Gosh, you're so feisty—!
Mmmmm—
Mmm—

=Uh—So, about my statement just now.
=Allow me to explain.
[x2]STING

ZUP
GLARE


<74>
=WHOAA—
=This guy's a spy for the Edogawa Gang.
GACHUNK
=...Huh?

=Is this true, Master—!?
=Father...

=I came to tell you that all the preparations are set, but...
=I knew something was up when they knew exactly what was going on in our village.

=But I never would've imagined there was a spy.
Gee—
=You shoulda noticed.//Oh wait, you're too poor for that.


<75>
=Hey wait a sec—! I'm not a spy, dude—!
=This is a total misunderstanding—!

=You're suspicious no matter how you look at it, you pig—!
=Those stupid, broke villagers are the only ones that haven't figured out your bald ass—!
[x3]WHACK

=I'm sorry.
=I'm a spy.

=Sorry 'bout keeping it secret, mayor.
=It would've gotten annoying if he made a big fuss about it.

=Besides, I figured if we're leaking information,
=We might as well use it to our advantage.
CLICK CLICK
KACHUCK


<76>
=Heh-heh-heh, they say to keep your allies close, and your enemies closer...
PSHH~
=Thanks to him, I've managed to get us a pretty big advantage going on.

[title]Desert Punk's Amazing Plan For Today
=Going by the Edogawa Gang's usual tactics, they would've invaded from the desert area to the east, giving them a wide view of the village ahead. This would've put Desert Punk at a significant disadvantage.
=So in order to lure them into the skeleton city, where he would have the advantage in battle, he placed the ambush in the east and had worked strenuously over the last several days to manipulate the spy.
[box top]East
[box right]South
[box bottom]West
[box left]North
[center tax]21st Settlement Village
[top arrow]The assumed invasion route of the Edogawa Gang
[double arrow]The altered invasion route//The real ambush point
[text below right box]Skeleton City
The fake ambush point
The north and west are in plain sight from the watchtower in the east, making an invasion from those directions unlikely.


<77>
=They wouldn't want to get dragged into a war of attrition with only 4 men. So they'll come in trying to end things quickly.//—Which means, they're definitely gonna come in from this angle.
=But... Hee-hee-hee...

=They're in for a huge surprise if they come waltzing in.

=W-Wow—We didn't realize all this was going on behind our backs...
=These city folk sure are different...
=So the battle has already started...
[x2]UCK

I see... I was wondering what he'd been doing back there...
He was laying a trap so that no one would find out...

=A pro, huh...

Oh!


<78>
=U-Umm... Were you doing all those horrible things in the village just to fool the spy and put this plan into action...?
=Huh? Oh... Not really...
Huh?! What horrible things?

=Nya-hah-hah-hah-hah!
=You got me there—!

RIP
=ACK!
THUD
=Hey! The rope broke!

=Don't worry, Mariko. Now we've got a 99% chance of winning this fight.
GRIP
=The village is gonna be safe.
Catch him—Get him—Lynch him—
EE—K


<79>
B-BOOOM

=Huh?
=What's that...?

[x2]WHAP
[x2]WAH—
RA-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT
TAT
TA-TAT
=Hey!!! That's the signal for the attack!!


<80>
=...Huh!?

=H-Hey, wait a sec!
SLAP
=You said they were coming from the south! Not the east!

You're wrong
=Oopsie—

=Whoa—!
=EEE—K
=Help—!
WHAP WHAP WHAP
WHAP
THUD


<81>
=Ohh—Master, please help us—
=Please—
=Where were you, asshole!
=Why didn't you guys tell me earlier!?

=W-We tried to tell you when we saw four shadows on the horizon, but...
=They were unbelievably fast.//They started attacking us before we knew it—!

=Fast...!?

=Damn it—! Guess I'll just have to shoot it out!
=Man—This is annoying!


<82>
UCK

*gunfire*


<83>
=Whoa—!

=EE—K
*gunfire*

=Y-You fucking—!

=Uck!


<84>
WHIRRRR
GAWHOOSH


<85>
=J-Jetpacks!

=DOH—!

=Uhh—
BAM
SHOOOF


<86>
=Just as we suspected.
=Tamehiko pulled a bonehead alright.

=That was a close one.
=We knew there was something wrong with all that useful info coming right in.

=But this is the strongest dude in the Kanto Desert?
=All we had to do was read a couple steps ahead.

=...No.
=Maybe this was his idea of reading three or four steps ahead.


<87>
=Hah—hah-hah-hah-hah!
=Now that's unfortunate!

=Hee—hee-hee-hee-hee!
=Kah-kah-kah
=Hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!

Da...
Dammiiit—!

GLICK
PING
CLICK
CLUCK


<88>
[x4]BLOP
=Whoa!

=WHOA—!


<89>
B-B-B-BLAM


<90>
=Huh!

=Hey!

GWHOOSH
WHIRRR


<91>
WHACK
BWHIP

GRACK
THUD

=OUCH—!

=Bastard!
RA-TAT-TAT-TAT-
ZWOO—P

=You!
[x3]BLAM
[x2]GACHUK
=Little!
GAH—


<92>
B-B-BLAM
=Whoa!

=It's a radar jammer—!
=Shit! I can't see a thing!

GONK
=Uck.

=Catch him—!


<93>
And Desert Punk disappeared.

=U-Uhh...
=Uhh—

=This is your last day as mayor. Same with the officials.
=We're the representatives of the village from now on.//Let's have you put it in writing.


<94>
=He—y, don't look so glum.
=We'll protect the village from here on out.

=And Mariko is mine now, okay.
=He wants to be adopted.

=Fuck off! Who you calling adopted—!?
=Ah-hah-hah! That's good! Sounds about right!
=I now pronounce you Hiroyuki Marimo, hee-hah-hah-hah-hah!
=You guys better shut the fuck up—!


<95>
=Guys—!

=The well...!
TH-TH-TH-THUD
=The well—!

=What's wrong with the well!?
=D-D-D-
[x2]HUFF
[x2]PANT

=Desert Punk is...!

=...WHA!
=WHAAA—T!?


<96>
=Plastic explosives and nitro, huh. Shit, we can't touch this thing.

=And there's cyanide on the bottom of the bucket to boot.


<97>
=And here is the trigger for the plastic explosives.
=If it explodes, the cyanide splatters into the well and it's game over. Hee-hee-hee.
=D-Desert Punk!! You little—!

=I signed the contract saying I would protect the village, but I didn't say anything about protecting the well. Isn't that right, Mayor?
=Wha...!//Wha!
=Ohh—
=A-Ahh...
=EEEK
=If this well goes away, the Edogawa Gang won't mess with the village anymore. See? It's a good plan, right?

=I'm not letting you guys get away with this.
=Fucking bastards.

=He's crazy.


<98>
=P-Please! Th-The well—!
=We'll do anything you say!//So please...!

=Save our well from that maniac!
=Please kill him immediately!

=Hmph.