Kids: Ah... If you trade it, it evolves.
Kids: It's because Electabuzz was holding an electirizer
Kids: Electivire is strong among the electric types.
Inumaru: Trade with me too
Kids: Eh... Inumaru-kun, you bought Pokémon too?
Inumaru: Ya, I bought it yesterday!!
Game: Pachitto Monster
(Note: Pachitto is Japanese for snap/pop)
Kids: That's not it...
Kids: It's a cheap knock off...
Kids: And shortened its Patimon.
Got It!! Inumaru-kun
Kids: In... Inumaru-kun… That’s...umm.....
Inumaru: I bought it was my savings I saved over two years
Kids: Eh... You used all your savings on that?
Kids: Uooo... I can't say it's the wrong one...
Kids: But why did he get it wrong!?
Kids: That's clearly a fake, isn't it!!
Kids: That's not a Giratina. It's just a plain centipede isn't it!!
Kids: Uwa. That's super gross....
Kids: The lead protagonist is just a mid-30s old man...
Narration: 36 year old Novice Trainer!!
Narration: He doesn't want to work, so for the time being, he'll go on an adventure!!
Kids: What a good for nothing adult!!
Kids: H... How far did you get into the story Inumaru-kun?
Inumaru: Ummm, I battled my rival and got the "secret key"
Then I snuck into my rival’s girlfriend's apartment and saved it there!!
Kids: He's terrible isn't he, the protagonist!!
That’s a crime!!
Kids: Save your rash feelings!!
Inumaru: Hey, hurry up and trade with me
Kids: O... Okay but I wonder if we can...
What kind of monsters do you have?
Inumaru: Umm, first I have "Takeriki"
Narration V-Cinemon ・Rock Type
In the South he is called the King
Kids: S...Sorry. I don't need this... He's clearly isn't in a respectable occupation, this monster...
(Note: Direct-to-video cinema is known as V-Cinema in Japan)
(Note: King of Minami (Minami is JP for South) is a manga is about a loan shark. King of Minami had multiple direct-to-video movies
where the lead role was played by Riki Takeuchi)
Inumaru: Next I have "Nukumizu"!!
Naration: Dramamon ・Water Type
Dramamon loves school swimsuits
Dramamon look like Yoichi Nukumizu
Kids: This is scary in a different way. Speaking of which, there are only ones that look like old men
(Note: Yoichi Nukumizu is a an actor who does a lot of TV drama)
(Note: Mizu is Japanese for water)
Imumaru: Next I have "Old Man Yamada"
Kids: Another old man. Speaking of which this one is completely human!! I've see this old man somewhere before!!
Narration: Hitorimon ・Human Type
49 years old
Covered in blood
(Note: Hitori is Japanese for 1 person or alone)
Inumaru: I don't have any more...
Kids: Umm.... Then, ah,.... Let’s catch a new monster!!
If possible a cool one or... a cute one
Background: Ah... It's the same maker of that...
Kids: Aa.. He stole that from the apartment!! He the worst!! He's a criminal!!
Kids: Ah.. A monster encounter
Monster name: Aruchuu
Narration: A wild Aruchuu appeared
Kids: Ahh... He's not cute either...
(Note: Aruchuu is JP for alcohol poisoning or alcoholic)
Narration: You have thrown a capture ball!!
Kids: Ah, No Inumaru-kun. First you have to weaken him or you probably won't be able to capture him
Kids: Ehh, He dodged it!?
Kids: And then he’s closing distance...
Kids: And hit the hero’s defenseless body!!
Kids: What is this!? You can directly take damage!?
Kids: Uwaa...An arm lock, it’s an arm lock!!
Kids: Why is it so normal!!
Kids: Can't they use more game-like moves!?
Kids: Real-life-like, like this is gross.
Kids: There is something coming out of the protagonist’s mouth and ears.
Kids: Wh-What are the other friendly monsters doing?
Kids: Uwa, they are cold.
Kids: They are pretending not to see anything!!
Kids: Speaking of which, this guy is way too strong for level three.
Kids: The game balance is weird!!
Kids: Uwa, that’s irritating. He's proudly shadow boxing!!
Kids: Is... Is there nothing you can do Inumaru-kun?
Inumaru: Ah, that's it. I have the Perfect Capture Ball which absolutely capture it
Kids: Is that the one like the Master Ball?
Kids: Ah... You can only get one of those, so it's probably better not to use it...
Kids: Why do you have 99!?
Inumaru: They were selling them in the first town for 10 yen
Kids: The game balance s weird!!
Narration: Perfect Capture Ball x99
Kids: As you'd expect he can't dodge this
Kids: He… He's withstanding it!!
Kids: Just how much does he not want to be caught!!
Kids: Inumaru-kun, how about using this chance and try throwing a ball!?
Kids: Capture him from the side now that he can't move...
Kids: He... He's dodging them!!
Kids: Throw more!!
Kids: I've seen this somewhere before!!
This is a pop culture reference to somewhere. I've seen the dancing between two fruit slices a lot but I don't know the origin of it so I didn't write it in
Kids: Ah... He's getting more and more tired!!
Kids: Ah, it looks like he used up all his strength
Kids: Ah... He's finally caught
Kids: The protagonist too.
Narration: 30 minutes later
Inumaru: I told the person at the store and I exchanged it for the real one!!
Kids: That's great Inumaru!!
Inumaru: But they didn't have Platinum so I got Crystal instead.
Kids: Eh... You were tricked. Crystal is the old one.
Kids: It's the one for Game Boy.
Game: Pachitto Monster
Kids: This is Patimon again!! Look at it properly!!
Kids: Who is this girl? Christel Takigawa?
(Note: Christel Takigawa is an announcer. She was News anchor for Japan News from 2002-2009)
Kids: It's a bigger fake than the last one!!
Kids: An.. Anyways let's try it?
Kids: It... It might be fun, right?....
Kids: I mean, this looks like News Japan
Narration: I will tell you the news
Narration: For the first time in 5 years there has been an incident at the New York stock market
Narration: which has continued on for about 12 days.
Today around 9 AM.
The news cast is pretty poorly translated
Kids: This isn't even and RPG!! This is the news!!
Kids: What do we even do!?
Kids: Only the edge of Christel Takigawa is in the shot!!
Can't we at least do something about the camera position!?
Kids: Ah, we can move the camera with the bottom screen!!
Kids: Okay, then tilt it 45 degrees and try and shoot Crystal Takigawa!!
Kids: Aaa, no, this is a fake too!!
Kids: It's a different person pretending to be Christel Takigawa!!
Kids: It's Furistal Takigawa!!
(Note: Furi is Japanese for "pretend to be")
Kids: Hmm... What...that was a scene on TV!!
Kids: Him again!!
Kids: It looks like it's starting now!!
Naration: What is your gender?
Kids: First is making the main character!!
Kids: But gender? He's a guy isn't he?
Kids: Ah, if we pick girl we might get a new character.
Old Man: Boy
Narration: Don't lie
Kids: It didn't change. He just put on a skirt!!
(Note: Last three have different kanji but pronounced the same)
Narration: Can you tell me your name
Kids: There are no good choices!!
Kids: Only the last character changes!!
Narration: What is your occupation?
Kids: Eh, you even pick your job!? It's like Dragon Quest!!
Kids: But there is no other option except unemployed!!
Narration: What is you address?
Kids: Eh? They even ask for your address
Kids: They're making a really detailed character....
Narration: Our suspicions aren't wrong, are they?
Old man: .....
Kids: Eh... What? What's this about!?
Kids: Ah, we were being questioned by the police!!
Narration: And that is all the news for today.
Kids: Ah this was just a news clip!!
Narration: 30 minutes later
Inumaru: I told the person at the store and exchanged for the real one!!
Kids: Inumaru-kun, this time it's the real one right!?
You made sure!?
Inumaru: This one has the Christel Takigawa on it!!
Book Title: JoshiAna File
Book top: Is this as far as they can go!? Super JoshiAna specialized journal
Book Top right: Treasure
Book bottom left: 2008's Big shots on Funa Television!
Book Bottom Right: Captivating Christel Takigawa
(Note: JoshiAna is short for female announcer in Japanese)
Kids: Not that one!!