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Go Go! Pudding Empire Volume 1
RAW: http://tinyurl.com/ylya8qw
Reserved to be scanlated at KEFI
Go Go! Pudding Empire volume 1
by Makoto Kubota
translated by barbapapa
When I'm talking about famous people from my hometown back in the countryside; Toshinobu Kubota, and Nippon Ham's Hirose come to mind. Could this mean I've become the third most famous person from my hometown? More over... am I the second most famous Kubota... ?
* "Nippon Ham" aka the "Hokkaido Nippon Ham Fighters," a professional Japanese baseball team.
p000c
(earth)
(Tom)
[Hello]
Please allow me to return home to attend to family matters.
Zeldo
p004
(100% shameless)
Chapter 1: We invade Earth!!
Chapter 2: Are you unhappy about your salary?
Chapter 3: I want you to think about other ways we could be attacking them
Chapter 4: What the heck's Cicada Monster doing?
Chapter 5: Which event will it be?
Chapter 6: Do we even have anyone healthy?!
Chapter 7: YOUTH HAS ARRIVED
Chapter 8: I guess the logical approach is a fool's game...
Chapter 9: Are you feeding Pokosuke?
Chapter 10: Why do we only eat fried food every day?
Chapter 11: If you've got some daikon, I can show you how to slice it, and stuff
Chapter 12: Thing is, he's on this planet too
Chapter 13: OKAY! Let's go refill!!
Chapter 14: Good preparation is key
Chapter 15: What a lack of professionalism
Chapter 16: The Emperor definitely did not miss that
Chapter 17: Oh boy, you sure caught me with my pants down
Chapter 18: What the heck happened?
Chapter 19: Who's a stupid bird!?
Chapter 20: ...I cannot oppose their national decree, nor this Hiromi Go...
Chapter 21: I'm sure it was "Bippity bappity, boo!"
Chapter 22: It's terrible, Master Jaba!
Chapter 23: He's in room 302.
p005
A distant planet, 3 million lightyears from Earth...
Bavaroa.
On this star lies an evil empire, hellbent on invading Earth.
An empire of pudding.
Our homeplanet has a lifespan of only one year left.
We must get our hands on a new planet.
WE INVADE EARTH!!
RISE, PUDDING WARRIORS!!
p006
CHAPTER 1: WE INVADE EARTH!!
Puuudding!
Puuudding!
Puuudding!
p007
That being said, there's something we must do first.
Earth, is inhabited by creatures called "humans."
These beings are an eyesore.
--over there!
COME FORTH, SPIDER MONSTER!
p008
In order to invade Earth, you must eradicate these HUMANS.
GO FORTH, SPIDER MONSTER!!
SPIDER MONSTER!
SPIDER MONSTER!
SPIDER MONSTER!
p009
I SAID GO, SPIDER MONSTER!
SPIDER MONSTER!
SPIDER MONSTER!
SPIDER MONSTER!
U-rk....
[Emperor]
W... what's wrong, Spider Monster?
Your...
Your face looks a bit pale.
.....my.....
.....My tummy hurts.....
p010
--your tummy...
(pardon, comin through)
...
'scuze me.
You there, stand aside.
(What?)
W-who are you?
I'm a doctor.
Where does your tummy hurt?
What kind of pain is it?
The bottom of my stomach...
Cramps...
Owowow... Man, it's been 3 days already.
Over here?
No.
How bout here?
No, a bit more down.
There! Right there!
p011
.....Damn.
It's your appendix...
M... My appendix?
Why did you keep up for 3 full days?
We gotta get you to a hospital.
Anyone happen to bring a stretcher?
H-hold on just a second there!
Spider Monster was scheduled to invade earth--
DO NO TAKE THE APPENDIX LIGHTLY!!!!
p012
Does he have medical insurance?
...
WELL, DOES HE!?
...I-I'm sure his dad--
I believe his dad worked for the government...
...Mutual aid, huh.
If he's not insured himself, the admittance costs could run up to 3 times as high.
HEY, be careful with him!
...
This time, thanks to Spider Monster's appendix, the Earth narrowly avoided a crisis.
BUT! Earth cannot rest easy. Because no one knows when the next assassin could be dispatched!!
p013
CHAPTER 2: Are you unhappy about your salary?
A city in Pudding Empire, Sheebuya.
Greetings emperor!
E-Emperor!
Here you are, Emperor!
p014
You can't just wander off to the city on your own.
[The emperor's room]
Anyway. You were off to the betting tracks again, weren't you?
Honestly...
I was not going to the betting tracks. I was patrolling the city. --Thought the emperor.
Due to the sudden disappearance of the previous emperor, we didn't have much time to prepare your ascension to the throne.
Since you don't understand your job, please just try to stay out of trouble.
Otherwise I'm going to have to do it myself.
Geez, what a handful.
...
p015
You do not understand my great endeavors, I kind of hate you. --Thought the emperor.
[Department of Earth Invasions]
Master Jaba, about this invasion of Earth...
What is it?
This time, Ground Beetle Monster was ordered to invade Earth. Though...
He doesn't really agree with the idea.
Huh? Why?
Dunno, but he was being a bit of a negative nancy.
p016
A negative nancy...
Yeah, he was kinda giving me an attitude.
Hmm... what to do.
This is my chance!!
If I can persuade Ground Beetle Monster, I'm certain Jaba would rethink his opinion of me! --Thought the emperor.
Pudding Empire bachelor dormitory "Wakabaso."
(knock knock)
WHO IS IT.
The emperor.
Can I come in?
p017
(turn turn)
(rub rub) x 4
What's wrong?
Why won't you go?
Is Jaba rubbing you the wrong way?
Are you unhappy about your salary?
Hey?
What is--
SHUT THE HELL UP
LEAVE ME ALONE
(durrrrr)
.....
p018
The evil Pudding Empire, aiming to invade Earth.
[In Meeting]
(How to make yourself succeed in invading Earth?)
Hmm.
p019
So, about the invasion of Earth.
Oh right, that.
Right, right.
What do you think?
What to think....
I THINK IT'S SUPER!
Yep.
What, that's it?
You can't just say "Invasion of Earth this, Invasion of Earth that." and be done with it.
It's... How should I say...
Kinda monotonous.
Kinda, short sighted.
Oh...
I didn't realize....
So, don't hold back.
... then, what do we do?
I want you to think about other ways we could be attacking them.
p020
Yamada-kun, bring them to us.
YES SIR!
CUP NOODLES.
What are these "cup noodles?"
This is earthling food, you know.
To invade Earth, one must first understand the human's way of life.
First, we investigate their eating habits. By means of sampling these "Cup Noodles."
p021
(staaare)
Hold the phone. I think I get it.
Your eyes just there gave it away.
You've grown impatient.
I didn't expect results so soon.
But I pretty much get the idea.
What the hell.
What the hell man.
The hell.
It is important to put all our efforts even into this small matter.
It's not like actually eating the cup noodles will help us understand things.
Is what I feel.
Don't you think so too?
WELL?
What, that's it?
It might not seem like much, but I believe these small facts could quickly accumulate to our invasion of Earth!
p022
(ssssluurrp) x5
This is some good shit.
(got the raw type)
What taste you got?
Soy.
Hey, why don't we all try out each other's flavors?
The Earthling eating habit investigation in order to invade Earth...
Having garlic in it sure makes its rank go up in my book.
I love the scraps of ham at the end.
The butter they put in this miso flavor is really good.
The raw egg really adds a lot of value to the meal.
Oh boy, this looks so good!
(still some seaweed left)
is here to stay in the Pudding Empire!
p023
O Vrenelu, my pretty one, pray tell me where's your home?
My home it is in Switzerland,
'tis made of wood and stone.
p024
Yo ho ho!
tra la la!
Yo ho ho!
tra la la!
Yo ho ho, tra la la!
Yo ho ho!
p025
We invade Earth!!
We will definitely invade Earth!!!
We will most definitely invade Earth!!!
We will abso-positive-lutely invade Earth!!!
COME FORTH, CICADA MONSTER!
p026
You called, sir?
H-Huh?
W-where am I?
This can't be it.
Oh maaaaan.
HE'S LATE!
What the heck's Cicada Monster doing?
I-I'm here!! S-so sorry!! I got lost!
You are LATE, Cicada monster!
You will eradicate the humans! GO FORTH, CICADA MONSTER!
p027
Eventually, the Pudding empire sent an emisary by the name of Cicada Monster, to the perilous planet Earth.
Day 1 (vwoooom)
Day 2 (vwoooom)
Day 3 (vwoooom)
Day 4
I wonder if Cicada Monster's arrived yet.
Who knows.
Day 5
I wonder if Cicada Monster's arrived yet.
Who knows.
Day 6
I'm sure Cicada Monster's arrived now.
Must be.
It is unknown at what kind of planet Cicada Monster arrived,
H-Huh?
W-where am I?
but due to his poor sense of direction, the Earth managed to escape impending doom once again.
p028
The evil Pudding Empire, aiming to invade Earth.
Right now, they are aiming to boost morale for the impending invasion of Earth.
By holding a dreadul ceremony.
[Pudding Empire Great Sports Festival]
Today, you are allowed to forget about your jobs. Enjoy yourselves!
I want you to energize yourselves for the days to come!
And now, an opening word from our Emperor!
p029
(vweeen)
(vweeen)
(what a dork)
(...lookin' good)
The Emperor was very pleased with his "uncool" jersey. Whenever he could wear this jersey, he was filled with dedication.
BEGIN.
p030
(YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY)
...he sure is in high spirits.
The Emperor seems to be participating in all kinds of events...
...What is he thinking.
I can show them what I'm made of here, I can earn everyone's respect!! --Thought the emperor.
However.
50m dash Dead last
Running high jump Failed at 40cm (even the mat was higher)
Group gymnastiscs Good for nothing
p031
I guess trying to win every event is out of the question.
How about just focussing on the ones you're good at?
Which event will it be?
(program)
Bread eating competition.
Will the participants of the Bread eating competition please gather.
On your marks...
GO FOR IT, EMPEROR!
p032
Aaaaaaand--
GO!!!!
GIVE EM HELL EMPEROR!!I
That's it! Bite it!
AAAH!!!
HEY, YOU! STOP!!!
DON'T EAT THE EMPEROR, EAT THE BREAD! THE BREAD!!!
And this is how they quickly managed to raise morale. The Earth is now even more in danger of facing disaster.
p033
Planet Bavaroa, 3 million lightyears away from earth.
Here lies the evil Pudding Empire, hellbent on invading Earth.
(Deparment of Earth Invasions)
Hm?
Huh... Scraps of paper.
p034
Hey, who did this?
Who threw these here?
You can't expect to invade Earth with this kind of attitude!
Come on, fess up!
Hm?
HACK!
MOJAM!!
...did you do this?
Oh... no, it's fine. You don't have to pick them up.
Someone, come give Mojam a hand here.
p035
Hey, don't drop him now!
(thump, thump, thump)
You absolutely CANNOT drop him!
{Steeeeeaaady, steeeeaady...}
Whoopsiedaisy.
AAAAAAAHHH!!
Eeeeeeek! This is why I told you not to drop him!
Mojam is a fragile monster who easily breaks when dropped.
But due to his tremendous regenerative abilities, he returns to his original form in 3 minutes.
Aah, he's back to his original form.
C... Careful now.
Are you alright, Mojam?
Honestly.
That took a couple of years from my life.
p036
Hey, where's Garma?
Oh, he's out with a cold.
Huh?
What the hell... We agreed that he'd go and invade Earth today.
--Cicada Monster was just fine... What do I do now...
Lessee...
What about Jigel?
Out with a cold.
Gaban?
Headache.
Reido?
Vacation.
Magar?
Stomache ache.
What the hell!! Do we even have anyone healthy?!
Don't shoot the messenger.
p037
Fine! Anyone here!
You will go invade Earth!
WHO WILL GO?
...Why don't YOU go?
Yeah, YOU go.
Fine! Anyone who DOESN'T feel I should go?!
Ah... no it's fine, Mojam.
I appreciate the thought....
p038
Majin Zeldo!
This guy's breath, "Pyro Fireball", can even make iron disappear in an instant.
If Zeldo departs for Earth, it should be a doozy.
Emperor.
(hello)
This time for sure, Earth will become ours.
(beep beep beep beep beep beep beep)
(beep beep beep beep)
Uh...
Bee-
Aaaaah...
(crack crack)
Man, I sure could've used a coupla more hours.
Man, I'm sleepy.
Oh, good morning dear.
Oh, right. I kinda have to invade Earth today and all, so I've gotta scoot.
What's for eats?
p040
Dear, I have a small matter I would like to talk to you about.
Small matter--?
Can't that shit wait till I'm back.
So them kids won again ey...
YOUTH HAS ARRIVED.
(what the hell is this guy saying)
Could you please just hear me out for a bit, dear?
I told you I gotta get going asap, didn't I?
It's about Takashi, dear.
Takashi?
p041
What the hell.
What's with Takashi?
(This is your daily paper handout, please collect your unused paper outside―)
Well, the truth is...
He took 2,000 yen from your purse?
Really?
Yes. Yesterday there was 15,400 yen in it.
When I checked in the morning, 2,000 yen was gone.
Get Takashi.
Dear...
You won't be too strict on him, will you?
JUST CALL HIM!!
Takashi, taking other people's stuff is a crime. A CRIME.
I simply cannot tolerate this kind of behavior.
(gulp)
I've talked to mom, and she says you took two 1,000 yen bills.
Spill it boy. And don't give me some bullshit that they got mixed in when you grabbed a few coins.
Please dear, stop.
Where did you pick up this FILTHY behavior?
Dear, if you don't leave now--
SHUT UP BITCH.
PIPE THE FUCK DOWN!
Master Jaba, we received a phone call from Zeldo.
He says: "Sorry, can't invade earth today, family matters."
WH--
...F...
Family matters...
p043
Snake Monster, you are next.
Your strength will definitely allow us to invade Earth.
Sir.
Leave it to me.
p044
...I really don't get it.
What is Master Jaba thinking?
I just can't imagine why...
(whipe whipe)
(ah, feels so good)
Why oh why...
Perhaps Master Jaba's just kind of bad guy?
(swipe)
(snicker)
No, I mean it.
It must be why. He can't even give me an explanation.
Ah, here, ash tray.
Two coffees, a royal milk tea, and one chocolat parfait; here you go gentlemen.
Ah, Coffee, 's mine.
(yop)
Seriously...
p045
Why did he pick Snake Monster there?
Don't you guys think it's weird?
Right?
Ehm...
Ah....
Oh, please, let me get this one.
It's fine.
I mean, look at who he chose last time. This guy...
(that guy, whatshisname)
(bleep)
Crab Monster.
That guy's even barely my senior.
I even gave him an otoshidama.
(*cash money you give kids at new year in Japan)
See?
That guy owes me.
When he just moved here from abroad, I even helped driving him around in my light van.
Uhuh.
p046
Even this Snake Monster...
He joined the Pudding Empire 3 days later than me!
Even though it's only 3 days, I'm supposed to be that guy's senior, right?
(am I lying over here?)
Well?
Uhu.
I'm his senior by 1 second.
There you go!
Huh, you're not drinking your milk?
Errr, I drank half, but you can have the rest.
Why not me?
It should have been me, Buffalo Monster, after Crab Monster.
Oh well.
I just have to get a grip, and move on.
It makes me laugh, really!
Sigh...
p047
Would you like some more water?
Ah, no, 's ok.
I guess the logical approach is a fool's game...
Tomorrow, I'm gonna march to Master Jaba and make a stand for myself...
(mister buffalo's treat sure had an expensive parfait for himself in it)
(let's go pay ourselves)
(dammit, 3-4 loss)
Tryouts VS Noob Monster
NOOB PUNCH!
(noobish)
GEH!
(moooooo)
Noob Monster wins!!
How do you expect to own anyone,
if you're not getting any stronger, Buffalo Monster...
(oh jesus god it hurts)
p048
(cake)
(pom pom)
p049
p050
Zeldo's Final Blaster...
Amazing...
He destroyed an entire planet with one blast...
Zeldo's abilities should be clear with this.
If he were to take off to Earth, it'd definitely be a doozy.
He should be fine this time, right?
Zeldo.
No problemo.
Good. Kekekeke...
This time, this time for sure... we will invade Earth.
What, you're already preparing to depart?
YEP.
p051
The other time, I had to decline the invasion of Earth because of Takashi.
So this time, I definitely do not want to botch it.
Go for it, dad!
You bet!
Leave it to me, Takashi!
(haaaaahahahahaha)
Here, dear.
I've put together a snack basket as means of an apology for before.
I heard the Emperor has quite the sweet tooth.
How thoughtful of you, dear.
Dad, if you don't hurry up...
Oh, right, I should get going!
p052
Oh, almost forgot Pokosuke!
If I don't feed that turtle...
!?
Are YOU feeding Pokosuke?
Yes.
All this time?
Every day?
Yes, that's right.
(happy) beep beep beep beep beep (mad)
What is the meaning of this?
Huh? What is?
Isn't feeding Pokosuke TAKASHI's duty?
Eh...
Ah...
That's... I mean...
TAKASHI.
p053
Hey! You were supposed to take care of your pet yourself. Like we discussed when we bought it, remember?
Why is mom feeding him then?
Huh?
Ah... I...
TAKASHI!
(d... dear... ah...)
Why do you not keep your promises? People who don't keep their promises aren't qualified to keep a living animal!
D-dear... If you don't depart soon...
SHUT UP BITCH.
PIPE THE FUCK DOWN.
W-What?
Family matters again?
...
And so, the Earth was spared once again from a crisis.
p054
It doesn't really give off a feminine presence... But here's some fanservice to encourage the Pudding Empire!!
(actually, the mangaka's human drawing rehabilitation isn't going so well)
Huh? Let alone feminine, what about a HUMAN presence!?
Huh? Huh? HUH?
That being said, the end.
p055
The elder Bargen, retired from his active duties 2 years ago with an extensive state of reputation. A legendary strategist, a man whose personality demands respect...
During the "Offense and Defense of Mirocco" -which is even now still being talked about- he managed to exterminate an enemy army of 10,000, with a mere thousand troops.
(ding dong)
Lately, due to the failure to invade Earth, Master Jaba has been losing it. So he went to request Bargen's opinion on the matter.
Who is it?
Pardon my intrusion. My name is Jaba. Is the elder there?
Grandpaaaaaa, it's Mister Jaba!
Heh... in over your head again, Jaba...
(that elder is... a g... grandpa...)
p056
Well I'll be!
Jaba!
Long time no see! How have you been?
(a ... jersey)
What can I do for ya today?
(lay it on me)
Ah, I have a small matter I would like to discuss...
Oh right, I brought a little something... nothing special.
It's bamboo fish-paste from Sendai; it's great with some wasabi-soy.
Oh you old dog, you shouldn't have.
Hey, Kayoko! Jaba brought us some bamboo fish paste!
Since it's raw, better put it in the fridge.
Second best in town, ain't that sumthin'?
(croquet)
Oh really? Ha ha ha...
You said you bought this fish paste at Sendai?
Ah yes, I bought them in a shopping district. I was visiting a travel agency there.
Hmmm, croquet, huh?
p057
Sure must be a comfy life, being retired.
(twitch)
Ah... did I say something wrong?
Pardon me.
(ohohoho)
Oh Jaba, thanks again for the gift.
Ah, it's nothing.
You boys play nice now!
(staaaaaaaaaare)
Ah... errr...
p058
Kayoko's picking on me.
It's been a bed of nails every day.
Haha... Second best in town...
No wonder. I don't want to be home, so I go out to play croquet every single day.
(pot whistling) (fweeeet)
Ah...
I...
It starts at 6 in the morning.
Ah... I...
...DAMMIT.
Why do we only eat fried food every day?
p059
I've grown old, and my stomach is weak. I get stomach burns from fried food...
Even on sundays, when I look forward to watching Idols on NHK... she won't let me.
The bathtub's the last place left I can cool down...
She purposely makes the room dark...
She makes me clean the cat's litter box.
The bamboo fish paste that you brought over won't even touch my lips.
I can't keep living like this!
Oh god I want to return to the empire...
T... this is bad. I got my hopes up too high, thinking I'd come over and consult him about the invasion of Earth.
I just wanted to hear his opinion...
But it's impossible... I've had to retire due to my age...
...
Maybe I could be a live-in cook at a ryokan...
What do you think, Jaba?
E... Eh... Euhm...
W... Well... there are many ways of life.
No matter how you look at things, it depends on yourself... Gotta think positive!
Y... You know...?
Aiming to consult, Jaba was the one who got consulted!
p060
The evil Pudding empire, set on invading Earth.
Right now, they are aiming to recruit new warriors for the invasion.
(interview room)
They are holding monster interviews.
Your name please?
Bogrob.
Dogrob, got it.
AH!
No, it's BOGROB.
BOG-
p061
TOG-
BOG-
The B from BEAN MOCHI.
B.
(next)
Gelgo.
Lessee... Mister Gelgo, what are your hobbies?
(a bit nervous)
PATCHWORK.
(dodgeball)
Patchwork...
p62
O...
Okay then, what do you like to do in your spare time?
I like to indulge in my patchwork.
Indulge in his patchwork...
(HA HA HA HA HA, HOLIDA-HEY)
This is the last interviewee, emperor.
(hello)
(whoops, looks like they changed seats, never mind!)
Interviewee number 300, CALL ME TOM BABY!
p063
ACK!! It's the elder!!
(health first)
(the emperor doesn't know the elder)
Pleased ta meetcha. My name's Tom, a 16-year old go-getter!
(snap)
This senile geezer is lying his ass off!!
Ah, here. This is a Hamanako local specialty. Eel pie. You should be pleased as pie if you enjoy the taste.
(crack)
Ah, no please, you didn't have to.
(though I really love Eel pie)
The other day, he was saying he wanted to leave the house...
I guess he was serious.
Ah, you see... Even as a child, from kanchou*, to kneeing people from behind... I've always had an interest in evil things like these.
* popular children's game of sticking one's finger in the other's butt
Also, putting stale poop in people's slippers... skipping gym class when there was a marathon...
As for my future plans... I've always wanted to try invading another planet, or something, you know...
p064
Oh, and my weapon of choice is the sickle.
I even have a finishing move.
If you've got some daikon, I can show you how to slice it, and stuff.
Oh, and hard stuff's no problem either.
Ah... No...
Errr... Well.... You know, vegetables are rather expensive nowadays, so rather not.
(diggin' tom's jersey alright) (staaaare)
In the end, the elder completely failed the exam.
(30 names in total)
(Geldo failed too)
[exam results]
NUMBER 300'S NOT THERE!
Ah, wait! I can show you my finishing move! I'll cut through these veggies like gangbusters!
I'm sure you'll change your mind if you see it!
When I came over, I stopped by the greengrocer's to grab me some sweet potatoes.
This guy would sure make a good wife...
(y... you forgot your eye mask)
(he bought it)
p065
Pudding Empire, really set on invading Earth more than ever.
Jaba, in order to achieve this, has decided to introduce forces from an outer planet.
Thus, he is going to hire trained killers.
Master Jaba! We've managed to hire the alledged number one trained killer in the business.
ALRIGHT, WE DID IT!!
p066
(staaare) x3
He's late! Where is this so called number one killer!?
Ah yes! I believe, since he has to come all the way over from the Marudo planet to meet us, it IS going to take some time.
What the? Is this Marudo planet far from here then?
YES!!
I think, round and about...
Yes?
Round and about?
ROUND AND ABOUT--
ROUND AND ABOUT?
More than 2 years.
YOU IDIOT!! OUR PLANET WILL HAVE EXPLODED BY THAT TIME!!
Bavaroa only has 1 year left!!
p067
Get someone else!! Someone else!!
(why're you even whispering)
(whisper whisper)
Then, what about the number 2 killer?
Okay, but is he at least closeby?
As a matter of fact, he's on our planet right now.
ALRIGHT! CALL FOR HIM AT ONCE!
YES SIR!!
(staaare)
... what the hell is this...
The number 2 killer.
p068
So... When is he coming out of his cocoon?
Right. In about 2 years.
(BAM!)
But when he comes out of his cocoon, he'll transform into a poisonous moth monster, and his scales alone could wipe out--
ARE YOU DEAF!? IF WE WAIT THAT LONG, THIS PLANET WILL HAVE LONG DISAPPEARED! DIPSHIT!
Then, the number 3 killer?
No, I don't want to hear it.
Actually... he's also on this planet.
Oh, shut up.
He's a ROBOT.
That can fly through the air at light speed!
p069
(swoosh) x4
Alright!
Transform! Flight form to Battle form!!
UNDERSTOOD.
DOES HE NEED 2 YEARS TO TRANSFORM AS WELL!?
Ah, but of course sir.
(end)
p070
Today, we put rank aside!!!
(i'm da boss)
Bottoms up, Yama-chan!
(doggie says meow)
AAHAHAHAH
Hah, what now "rank!"
Aw shucks, I'm right after you boss?
Even when dealing with new clients, the boss is able to blend in with everyone!
This is also thanks to his ability to put rank aside!
DOWN WITH RANK!!!
(staaare)
Down with rank.
Control Tower
Ruy Ramos
* Brazilian-born football player, who became a naturalized Japanese citizen in 1989.
p071
Huh?
You want to hold a banquet?
Down with rank.
Down with... rank?
As in, disregarding your social position of Emperor towards your subordinates. Having everyone behave normally, without manners, treating you as their equal...
Like that?
...the emperor isn't really good at adapting to people. Don't you think he's just using this as an excuse?
(Correct)
Yeah.
By putting rank aside, I will be able to get closer to everyone! --Thought the emperor.
p072
(Banquet)
(Chrysantheum Room)
Everyone looks like they're having fun.
Yep.
Ugh... He isn't adapting at all.
Well he's not saying anything....
Emperor!! You can't just sit and wait!!
You have to approach people! Open yourself up!
Here. Take this, and go around refilling people's beers.
This way, everyone will soon open up to you!
p073
OKAY! Let's go refill!! --Thought the emperor.
Looks like he's managed to open himself up.
Yeah.
Huh?
(ort ort) (swing, swing)
HEY YOU, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THE EMPEROR!?
p074
Down with rank.
(ort ort) (swing swing)
Swinging at him...
(throw throw)
Throwing at him...
(kick kick)
Kicking him...
Waaah! You again! You can't eat him!!
(eat eat)
Down with rank.
And so, the Pudding Empire's unity grew firmer even more.
p075
COME FORTH, GEBROS!
For the sake of the continuated existence of the Pudding Empire, you shall invade Earth!
COME FORTH, GEBROS!
p076
Huff Huff--
YOU'RE LATE!
S-Sorry... Something came up...
I had to run back home again.
I wasn't sure if I'd switched the kotatsu off.
* A heated table with a blanket, google it
Good preparation is key.
And then, as usual--
Nay! I was sure I turned it off!
(behold!!)
And I did!!
But then, I started to get worried about the main outlet.
(woe is meeee)
p077
Don't cover your head, and leave your bottom exposed.
Last month, there was an article about a place where dustballs collected in an outlet, igniting a fire!
Did you see it in the paper?
Did you?
(didya?)
Thank my lucky stars I noticed it.
Talk about a close shave.
You shouldn't be worrying about stuff like that.
TALLY FORTH, GEBROS!! GO TO EARTH AND ERADICATE THE HUMANS!!
Oh right, almost forgot.
Ah--! Wh--!!
WHAT IS IT THIS TIME!!
Here! Master Jaba!
Here.
W... What is this?
Round mochi!
* rice cake
(duh!)
p078
They were giving these out as housewarming gifts, at our neighbours across the street.
But y'see, if I take these along to the invasion, won't there grow green mold stains on the mochi?
It'd be a waste to throw them away.
(round mochi moldification illustration)
(if it's like this, it's over)
(agreeing)
No way! It's probably not even made with a pestle.
Nine out of ten look like they were made with a machine... Using something like that, I'd never!
But when I get hungry, I could cook me some rice with vegetables, or make some sweet red bean soup...
If you're making sweet red bean soup, it'll take less time if you used canned beans.
Ah! Then, it'd be a good idea to take a can of red beans along!
(how silly of me)
I GET IT ALREADY!!
Go now!!
Invade Earth!!
Go show the Earthlings the extent of your power!! Go!!
Right. Right.
p079
UP AND ATOM!!
Christ, this Gebros guy...
He sure takes it outta ya.
(no running in the hallway)
(stumble)
(Jaba's butt)
What the heck are you doing Gebros!! Didn't you take off for Earth!?
Ah, Master Jaba.
No way.
I was worried whether I locked my front door properly, so I went and double checked by wiggling the doorknob.
(an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure)
Oh crap! I forgot my can of beans at home!!
ENOUGH!!
And so, the Earth passed by another crisis.
p080
How to succeed in invading Earth, 2nd meeting.
Master Jaba.
What's with the bottleneck?
(recently wearing a bottleneck)
...Sigh.
There are stains on my usual outfit... It's being washed.
Meat stains huh?
(it's a bitch to get those off alright, case you don't know)
I get it already!
Who even knows about these things!! Really...
p081
Sigh.
What a lack of professionalism.
Our crew.
It's always something!
It hurts here, it hurts there...
Their stomach hurts, they've got a cold.
(yep yep) x3
How can you expect to invade Earth like this?
They're completely out of shape.
Lacking professionalism.
Just yesterday,
Posion Mushroom Monster comes in
telling me he has a cold, after I ordered him to invade Earth.
Said he got his toncils removed.
Despite that, he was still gonna go to Earth!
But of course,
I declined!
p082
Cause, I asked him "Can you still produce your special poisonous gas like this?"
I got my toncils removed.
I... It's probably impossible.
So then, what was he going to do on Earth?
Exactly!
When I asked him what he was going for then, he replied that he was going on a hot springs vacation.
Sheesh...
Anyway, with this we've come to today's theme.
Yamada-kun, fetch me the book.
Yes sir!
(Here you go!)
I managed to lay my hands on a book about Earth's medical care.
p083
Since we've never had health care, I think this will save us a great deal.
HEH
What?
Ah! No nothing.
Going as far as using your enemy's hygene policies, what have we come to...
Indeed! You could look at it that way, but these shameless tactics are necessary.
Even if we were to use the enemy's hygiene policies to better ourselves, would you call that being greedy?
Are you saying we should go back to before?
You could be saying that we are the ones benefitting the enemy, but
as the situation is now, it is more the case that they are benefitting us.
(oh yeah)
Ah! Good, Kante!
Alright, then let's give this book a look-see.
Hey now! Don't walk so loud!
Yes.
Yes.
p084
Tying leeks around your neck is a good way to stop colds!
(leeks)
Sticking some umeboshi against your temple is a good way to get rid of a headache.
* Japanese dried plum
Japanese Quince Liqueur is good for your throat!
[By acquiring the Earthling book "Grandma's bag of wisdom and unofficial remedies", the Pudding Empire's medical care system became greatly fortified.]
(i see)
(hmm)
(interesting)
(didn't know that)
Let's see... before drinking sake, it's a good idea to drink milk to create a protective layer in your stomache.
Vinegar's good for athlete's foot.
Chameleon plant is good against nasal inflammination.
On cold days, stuff hot peppers in your shoes to keep warm.
If you soak a paper diaper in water, and freeze it, you can use it instead of a water-filled pillow.
Ah! Grandma's bag of wisdom part 2 has a bit about removing meat stains!
(staare)
p085
The evil pudding empire, aiming to invade Earth.
After a strategical meeting, these men decided to have a little break.
Who wants a drink?
Coffee for me.
(coffeeee)
Coffee...
(coffee) x4
Emperor, you need to go to bed in the evening, so please just have some hot coco.
Alright, then coffees all around, bar one hot coco for the emperor.
I really want to drink coffee--
The emperor, who was being treated as a child by Jaba, became ill tempered.
(the emperor has never drank coffee before)
p086
The emperor's room
Now a janitor, then an old man at the sushi bar... But, what lies beneath?
AAH!! IT'S YOU!!
The masked detective! Daigoro Akashi!
I can't believe it was a disguise!!
(staaaare)
This is it!
If Jaba doesn't recognize me, I can slip out of his supervision! --Thought the emperor.
p087
...lookin good.
Yes! This is perfect! Noone will recognize me. --Thought the emperor.
Alright! They didn't say a word! This is great! --Thought the emperor.
...
Okay! If I'm like this, I can visit the city to my heart's content, and drink some coffee!! --Thought the emperor.
p088
Just now... that was the emperor, right?
... some outfit.
(oh hey it's the emperor)
(the emperor)
Yay! Non-stop bar hopping! --Thought the emperor.
(thump thump)
It's the emperor.
It's the emperor.
Ah! It's the emperor.
The emperor.
The emperor.
May I take your order?
Oh, it's the emperor.
Blend.
Would you like milk with that?
You idiot! You're supposed to drink coffee pitch-black.
"You're supposed to drink coffee pitch-black."
The emperor definitely did not miss that.
p089
And so...
...
This is quite bitter, and not tasty at all. --Thought the emperor.
But thanks to his disguise, the emperor was able to drink coffee today.
It is amazing that even Jaba was not able to see through my disguise.
HOORAY FOR DISGUISES! --Thought the emperor.
Ah! The emperor!
The emperor!
Huh?
NO!! STOP EATING HIM!!
AAH! IT'S YOU AGAIN!!
(eating the emperor again huh)
(emperor!) x 5
Afterwards, the emperor got recognized, and was finally found out.
p090
The legendary blood-starved demon sword, CANNIBALISMER.
A demon sword that gives off an overwhelming ghostly presence. When was it, that I started carrying it by my own volition...
A demon sword that thrives on human blood!! I expect to add its strength to our ranks!
Understood. I shall remove its seal.
CALL THE LEGENDARY SWORD!!
Whut?
C... Call?
p091
E... Errr… We ARE talking about a sword here, right?
We don't have to remove a seal, but... CALL IT? What the hell?
Yes! Call it!! I've carried the sword myself, so I should know.
(beep boop baap)
Ah, hello?
Yes, yes.
What did it say?
Ah, no, a woman answered.
She said to come over if it's about the sword.
Probably a maid.
HUH?! The legendary sword has a maid!?
Alright! You shall depart for the legendary sword at once!
D... depart... where to?
Look, there's a convenience store in the second district called "OX Mart."
From there on out, to your left, it's the 3rd house with the red roof.
T-the legendary sword lives in a place like that!?
p092
T-
The legendary sword lives HERE!?
(tomoko)
Oh! You're already here!?
Ah... a maid...
Sorry, I didn't think you'd be coming over so soon...
Mister Canniba is just taking a bath right now.
HUH? A BATH?
(a sword bath?)
Miss Tomoko
It's fine, let him in
Oh, are you sure?
(scratch scratch)
Is this the legendary sword's voice!?
(he sounds like Nenji Kobayashi)
* A senior Japanese TV-actor
p094
Please follow me.
Here it is.
Ah...
T-thank you very much.
Aah-- Don't be shy, step on in.
Right, I'm coming in then.
Oh boy, you sure caught me with my pants down.
(crack)
p094
This...
This, is the legendary sword...
(ahaha, wait for me)
(catch me if you can)
I've put in some navel skins to enhance the scent, nice huh?
They taste great, but they smell great, too... These navels sure are a poor thing to waste.
And so...
It's true I used to crave human blood, and the likes...
But I guess ones taste palette matures as well.
Nowadays, I prefer to snack on something light, like ochadzuke* with some salted salmon...
* Japanese dish composed of rice with green tea
...
[The earth once again steered clear from a crisis.]
p095
SALMON MONSTER!
His bulldozer-like tail alone, has the strength of 5000 horses.
COME FORTH, SALMON MONSTER!
AND MAKE EARTH OURS!!
(banana)7
p096
Master Jaba!
You don't have to shout!!
The chef, Mister Gen, has locked himself up in the toilet!
What?
I'm trying to summon Salmon Monster now; so I will attend to this later.
T-this is concerning Salmon Monster!
WHAT!?
Mister Gen, please come out.
(i'm so sorry, i'm so sorry)
How is he?
(eggplant)
He won't come out.
What the heck happened?
p097
Why has the pudding empire's chef locked himself up in the toilet?
(sumomo)
* Japanese plum
W-Well...
Truth is, Mister Gen confused Salmon Monster for something else.
W-WHAT!!
DID HE COOK SALMON MONSTER, INSTEAD OF A REGULAR, PLAIN OLD SALMON!?
I-It couldn't be... That Salmon meuniere we had for lunch...
(the woods are alive)
E-emperor... didn't you find its greasyness so tasty you asked for seconds?
I--
I'M SO SORRY!
Mister Gen.
You... say you're sorry.
... You doused in flour, you cooked with butter... the monster that was supposed to invade Earth...
p098
We can't bring him back.
We've already eaten him.
What do we do?
I'M SO SORRY!
I'M SO SORRY!
Hey now, Mister Jaba. Don't be too hard on ol' Mister Gen.
T-this voice.
SA--
SALMON MONSTER! BUT HOW!?
AH! YOU'RE SPLIT IN HALF!
Truth be told--
(suuuu)
(fuuuu)
It's partly my own fault.
(jesus it's fricking hot)
Hm?
p099
Man, this stainless kitchen table sure is nice.
(oooooh this is so refreshing)
If I lie on my side like this, I'll doze off in a jiffy.
Then, who's the one that mistook me for a regular salmon!?
(Huh!?)
I'll still go though! To invade Earth.
You say you'll go... but there's only half of you left.
Even so, it only feels like i've lost 1 percent of myself.
There must be something I can still do to help invade Earth, this way.
Hmmm. What could I do...
I could go to a supermarket, and investigate the earthlings' eating habits...
There goes the remaining half...
[Even after having lost half of himself, his tenacity to invade Earth burns as strong as ever! The terrifying Salmon Monster!]
p100
Combining different living creatures...
Ignoring their genes, threading in God's domain... such dreadful conduct.
But that is what the Pudding Empire does.
In order to gain enormous strength from such combinations...
In order to invade Earth...
p101
Conjoined Beast, WINBANIG.
Magic wind beast, Wingull.
Magic fire beast, Banig.
By combining the two of you, we have managed to conjure a tremendous power.
p102
GO FORTH! WINBANIG!
BURN EARTH TO SMITHEREENS WITH YOUR FLAME SPOUT!
GO FORTH! WINBANIG!
p103
FORGET IT.
Why did you have to combine me with this ass?
Right back at you, stupid bird.
Who's a stupid bird!?
Shut up BALDY!
Combining the two of you gave birth to the Flame Spout.
It is the ultimate destructive force.
NOW THEN--
DIE ASSHOLE.
NO, YOU DIE, ASSHOLE.
p104
Please just hear me out, Master Jaba.
When I moved in next to this guy, he didn't even come out to welcome me.
I didn't even say anything about his electric cooler next to my door.
...damn, noisy...
How do you expect me to get along with such an inconsiderate asshole?
Oh get the spoon out of your asshole, birdy.
Since you didn't even send out a notice, I had no idea when to throw out cans and such.
Cans are on wednesday, dumbass. Don't you know your steel and aluminum!? Bald eagle!!
Don't blame ME for YOUR mistakes!
Fine, then allow me to say something.
(damn racket)
(STUCK IN THE MIDDLE WITH U)
PIPE DOWN WITH YOUR SHITTY KARAOKE!!
I always turn the TV down after 10pm!
IDIOT!
SHUT UP BALDY!
I'M GONNA BURN THIS ASSHOLE DOWN!
[God's domain? The Pudding Empire's evil plans have failed, and it's back to the drawing board.]
p105
BEHOLD! I HAVE AQUIRED THIS EARTHLING DEVICE CALLED, A "VIDEO TAPE!"
CALL TOGETHER THE TOP BRASS THIS INSTANT!!
I, JABA, WHO HAS SEEN THE CONTENTS OF THIS VIDEO, DECLARE A STATE OF EMERGENCY! AND I HEREBY ORDER FOR AN EMERGENCY MEETING!
This tape...
Hey now ma-am, choose mirin!
Choose REAL mirin!
Shows a commercial of Hiromi Go dancing, while appealling to you to buy mirin!!
p106
...What the HELL is going on on Earth!?
I-I don't really get the situation...
... Hiromi Go...
Is a treasured, immensely popular singer.
No one is more cooler than him.
THIS MAN APPEARS IN EVERY COMMERCIAL ABOUT THIS FLAVORING; WHICH IS USED WHEN PREPARING MEAT, POTATOES, AND WHATNOT!
HACK!!
p107
...Why must a man like that appear in Mirin commercials?
NO! Why must he be selling Mirin to that extent?
The environmental destruction that's taking place on Earth--
And the destruction of the Ozon layer, do you think they're related?
No way!? Then, do you think there's a chance this could be affecting nations on the other side of the Ozon layer?
...could be.
...I cannot oppose their national decree, nor this Hiromi Go...
But, I wonder about the destruction of the Ozon layer's relation to Mirin then...
Bellmark!
The destruction of the ozon layer is directly related to the decline of plants and trees.
And, if you collect the Bellmark points found on mirin bottles, they send you a tree sapling...
That's not with mirin...
*Bellmark is a foundation built around the recycling of used ink cartridges, founded by Epson Sales Japan
Oh... I see...
p108
There's something bothering me.
In the song...
He sang "choose REAL mirin"... right?
REAL MIRIN!??
...THEN, DOES THIS MEAN THERE IS COUNTERFEIT MIRIN ON EARTH AS WELL!?
YAMADA-KUN!! QUICKLY, INVESTIGATE THIS MATTER!
YES SIR!
... and now, for the results of the investigation.
I have been able to confirm that on Earth, there is Mirin and Mirinfu flavor.
MIRINFU!?
What is different about this mirinfu?
p109
To put it in layman's terms; when making mirin, a lot of hard labour is put into this.
(mirin, expensive)
(mirinfu, cheap)
This naturally makes it rather expensive. Therefor, people wanted to make a similar, more affordable product. So they created Mirinfu.
The main difference in composition, is that there is a lot more alcohol in real mirin.
(less than 1%)
Whereas with Mirinfu, they hardly put in any alcohol at all.
...so what the heck are you saying...
Real mirin
is hella expensive
cause of alcohol.
...anyway.
This mystery has been cleared up, and given us some insight on the situation around our invasion of Earth.
[Could it be that the appearance of Hiromi Go in a Mirin commercial has saved Earth? Nobody knows...]
p110
God of Evil, Jugen. Pudding Empire's one true God.
Right now, these men are aiming to borrow his infinite strength.
They are on the verge of starting a summoning ritual for this God of Evil.
Huh?
What the heck are you guys doing?
p111
(staaare) x2
OUTTA THE WAY!
AAH!
FOIL WRAPPED SWEET POTATOES!!
DO NOT USE THE FLAMES OF DARKNESS TO COOK DINNER!!!
DON'T RUN AWAY!!
NO, EMPEROR! DON'T PICK THOSE UP!
p112
COME FORTH, GOD OF EVIL JUGEN!
...
What happened, Master Jaba?
... I can't quite recall the summoning spell.
I'm sure it was "Bippity bappity, boo!"
And a "Zippety doo dah."
(doo dah)
Never mind, I'll go ask the archivist.
(archive room)
p113
Huh? The summoning spell for the God of Evil?
You've kinda caught me off guard here.
... We'll help you look.
K.
... You sure made a mess in this room alright.
...Ah, yes.
This is not the archives room of an evil empire aiming to invade Earth!
S... Sorry.
I'm sure I wrote it...
On the bottom of a supermarket flyer, I think.
DON'T WRITE IT IN A PLACE LIKE THAT!
SORRY.
p114
Is this it!?
Yep.
There's a stain on it from your teacup...
The wind... The wind is amazing. It can travel anywhere it likes.
Oh, that's a poem I wrote.
...
Due to the failure to summon Jugen,
(sweet potato...)
(garlic sprouts stir fry pan)
the Earth miraculously escaped danger once again.
p115
Summer-- During this time of the year, the sun also shines over planet Bavarao.
A coast on Bavaroa, Shonatsu.
Every summer, the pudding empire, among others, sends a few select elites to this ground, in order to undergo specialized power training.
(short sleaves)
Oh? Gebros and Cicada Monster, who I didn't pick.
AH! EVEN THE ELDER!?
p116
(cicada, gebros, emperor, elder)
IT'S THE SUPER ELITE JERSEY TEAM!!!
LET'S OWN THE SPECIAL TRAINING!
(go for it!)
NO ONE INVITED YOU!!!
...Emperor, you say you want to participate in the special training... but you know you don't have to, right?
Since you don't actually have to partake in the invasion of Earth.
I cannot be left out. --Thought the emperor.
This is my chance to return to the empire!
I won't lose to these whippersnappers! If I show them what I'm made of, I wonder if Jaba could be forced to change his mind.
...These two aren't really thinking anything...
(BLANK)
p117
Alright! Time to pull some sprints on the beach!
Everyone, get pumped!
UOOOOHHH!!
(TALLY HO)
Now, time for push-ups!
DON'T PUSSY OUT!!
Seeeeeveennn.... urk...
Eeeeeeight.
two.....
three....
Elder, Emperor!! Just stop it already. Don't you see this is never going to work out?
(i am gebros)
It's terrible, Master Jaba!
What is?
p118
Buffalo Monster, who was skipping training, went for a swim and is about to drown!!
HELP MEEEE, I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HEEEEERE!!
WHAT!?
Can't anyone go save him?
Everyone is out doing the 100km marathon.
THIS IS THE PERFECT CHANCE FOR THE JERSEY SQUAD TO SHOW ITS STRENGTH!!
Okaaaaay! JERSEY SQUAD, DISPATCH!!
(help meeee)
(overthrow Kayoko)
(ONE GOOD DEED A DAY)
Let's gooooo--
Wait a minute.
Before heading in the water, we should stretch our limbs.
GOOD PREPARATION IS KEY.
p119
(one, two, three, four)
IF YOU DON'T HURRY UP HE'LL DIE!!
ALRIGHT! PREPARATIONS A-OK!!
HOLD TIGHT BUFFALO MONSTER, WE'LL SAVE YA!!
SWIM RINGS!!
p120
THE SUN IS SHINING!!
Helloooo! Special delivery--!!
Hm?
Ah, a bon gift for the Emperor.
*Bon, or Obon, is a lantern festival to honor the departed
What is it, what is it!?
Wow, this is some really high level Napoleon brandy!
(wow, amazing, musta cost a ton)
You sure are lucky, Emperor!
Awesome...
This is the not the kind of bon gift I want. --Thought the emperor.
p121
Ham.
Safflower juice.
Beef.
These are some bon gifts alright.
No one even understands me the slightest. --Thought the emperor.
The emperor became ill-tempered.
(grrrr)
The reason being that the sweets he likes so much, have not come even once as a bon gift.
p122
Another gift for the emperor.
What's this, it's so tiny.
Oh, It's just a bar of sweet potato paste!
(twitch)
Who sent this? A bar of sweet potato paste is such a cheap gift. Some people...
Even though most people have sent hams, or Napoleon brandy...
The emperor simply couldn't help being overjoyed about these sweets!
At last one person who understands me!
Who could have sent this? --Thought the emperor.
(from Deroi)
Deroi.
p123
I must meet with this Deroi, and thank him! --Thought the emperor.
I wonder what kind of person Deroi is.
The emperor's mental image of Deroi.
(jersey)
(sweets)
Since this person sent me sweets, I bet we share the same hobbies! --Thought the emperor.
Pudding Empire bachelor dorm, Wakabaso.
Emperor!
Deroi? He's here, but...
He's in room 302.
(room 302)
p124
I am kind of anxious! --Thought the emperor.
Should I go back? --Thought the emperor.
But, I want to meet this Deroi, who seems to understand me.
Deroi is on the other side of this door.
(Deroi)
What should I do? --Thought the emperor.
--End of GOGO! Pudding Empire 1--
Reserved to be scanlated at KEFI
Go Go! Pudding Empire volume 1
by Makoto Kubota
translated by barbapapa
When I'm talking about famous people from my hometown back in the countryside; Toshinobu Kubota, and Nippon Ham's Hirose come to mind. Could this mean I've become the third most famous person from my hometown? More over... am I the second most famous Kubota... ?
* "Nippon Ham" aka the "Hokkaido Nippon Ham Fighters," a professional Japanese baseball team.
p000c
(earth)
(Tom)
[Hello]
Please allow me to return home to attend to family matters.
Zeldo
p004
(100% shameless)
Chapter 1: We invade Earth!!
Chapter 2: Are you unhappy about your salary?
Chapter 3: I want you to think about other ways we could be attacking them
Chapter 4: What the heck's Cicada Monster doing?
Chapter 5: Which event will it be?
Chapter 6: Do we even have anyone healthy?!
Chapter 7: YOUTH HAS ARRIVED
Chapter 8: I guess the logical approach is a fool's game...
Chapter 9: Are you feeding Pokosuke?
Chapter 10: Why do we only eat fried food every day?
Chapter 11: If you've got some daikon, I can show you how to slice it, and stuff
Chapter 12: Thing is, he's on this planet too
Chapter 13: OKAY! Let's go refill!!
Chapter 14: Good preparation is key
Chapter 15: What a lack of professionalism
Chapter 16: The Emperor definitely did not miss that
Chapter 17: Oh boy, you sure caught me with my pants down
Chapter 18: What the heck happened?
Chapter 19: Who's a stupid bird!?
Chapter 20: ...I cannot oppose their national decree, nor this Hiromi Go...
Chapter 21: I'm sure it was "Bippity bappity, boo!"
Chapter 22: It's terrible, Master Jaba!
Chapter 23: He's in room 302.
p005
A distant planet, 3 million lightyears from Earth...
Bavaroa.
On this star lies an evil empire, hellbent on invading Earth.
An empire of pudding.
Our homeplanet has a lifespan of only one year left.
We must get our hands on a new planet.
WE INVADE EARTH!!
RISE, PUDDING WARRIORS!!
p006
CHAPTER 1: WE INVADE EARTH!!
Puuudding!
Puuudding!
Puuudding!
p007
That being said, there's something we must do first.
Earth, is inhabited by creatures called "humans."
These beings are an eyesore.
--over there!
COME FORTH, SPIDER MONSTER!
p008
In order to invade Earth, you must eradicate these HUMANS.
GO FORTH, SPIDER MONSTER!!
SPIDER MONSTER!
SPIDER MONSTER!
SPIDER MONSTER!
p009
I SAID GO, SPIDER MONSTER!
SPIDER MONSTER!
SPIDER MONSTER!
SPIDER MONSTER!
U-rk....
[Emperor]
W... what's wrong, Spider Monster?
Your...
Your face looks a bit pale.
.....my.....
.....My tummy hurts.....
p010
--your tummy...
(pardon, comin through)
...
'scuze me.
You there, stand aside.
(What?)
W-who are you?
I'm a doctor.
Where does your tummy hurt?
What kind of pain is it?
The bottom of my stomach...
Cramps...
Owowow... Man, it's been 3 days already.
Over here?
No.
How bout here?
No, a bit more down.
There! Right there!
p011
.....Damn.
It's your appendix...
M... My appendix?
Why did you keep up for 3 full days?
We gotta get you to a hospital.
Anyone happen to bring a stretcher?
H-hold on just a second there!
Spider Monster was scheduled to invade earth--
DO NO TAKE THE APPENDIX LIGHTLY!!!!
p012
Does he have medical insurance?
...
WELL, DOES HE!?
...I-I'm sure his dad--
I believe his dad worked for the government...
...Mutual aid, huh.
If he's not insured himself, the admittance costs could run up to 3 times as high.
HEY, be careful with him!
...
This time, thanks to Spider Monster's appendix, the Earth narrowly avoided a crisis.
BUT! Earth cannot rest easy. Because no one knows when the next assassin could be dispatched!!
p013
CHAPTER 2: Are you unhappy about your salary?
A city in Pudding Empire, Sheebuya.
Greetings emperor!
E-Emperor!
Here you are, Emperor!
p014
You can't just wander off to the city on your own.
[The emperor's room]
Anyway. You were off to the betting tracks again, weren't you?
Honestly...
I was not going to the betting tracks. I was patrolling the city. --Thought the emperor.
Due to the sudden disappearance of the previous emperor, we didn't have much time to prepare your ascension to the throne.
Since you don't understand your job, please just try to stay out of trouble.
Otherwise I'm going to have to do it myself.
Geez, what a handful.
...
p015
You do not understand my great endeavors, I kind of hate you. --Thought the emperor.
[Department of Earth Invasions]
Master Jaba, about this invasion of Earth...
What is it?
This time, Ground Beetle Monster was ordered to invade Earth. Though...
He doesn't really agree with the idea.
Huh? Why?
Dunno, but he was being a bit of a negative nancy.
p016
A negative nancy...
Yeah, he was kinda giving me an attitude.
Hmm... what to do.
This is my chance!!
If I can persuade Ground Beetle Monster, I'm certain Jaba would rethink his opinion of me! --Thought the emperor.
Pudding Empire bachelor dormitory "Wakabaso."
(knock knock)
WHO IS IT.
The emperor.
Can I come in?
p017
(turn turn)
(rub rub) x 4
What's wrong?
Why won't you go?
Is Jaba rubbing you the wrong way?
Are you unhappy about your salary?
Hey?
What is--
SHUT THE HELL UP
LEAVE ME ALONE
(durrrrr)
.....
p018
The evil Pudding Empire, aiming to invade Earth.
[In Meeting]
(How to make yourself succeed in invading Earth?)
Hmm.
p019
So, about the invasion of Earth.
Oh right, that.
Right, right.
What do you think?
What to think....
I THINK IT'S SUPER!
Yep.
What, that's it?
You can't just say "Invasion of Earth this, Invasion of Earth that." and be done with it.
It's... How should I say...
Kinda monotonous.
Kinda, short sighted.
Oh...
I didn't realize....
So, don't hold back.
... then, what do we do?
I want you to think about other ways we could be attacking them.
p020
Yamada-kun, bring them to us.
YES SIR!
CUP NOODLES.
What are these "cup noodles?"
This is earthling food, you know.
To invade Earth, one must first understand the human's way of life.
First, we investigate their eating habits. By means of sampling these "Cup Noodles."
p021
(staaare)
Hold the phone. I think I get it.
Your eyes just there gave it away.
You've grown impatient.
I didn't expect results so soon.
But I pretty much get the idea.
What the hell.
What the hell man.
The hell.
It is important to put all our efforts even into this small matter.
It's not like actually eating the cup noodles will help us understand things.
Is what I feel.
Don't you think so too?
WELL?
What, that's it?
It might not seem like much, but I believe these small facts could quickly accumulate to our invasion of Earth!
p022
(ssssluurrp) x5
This is some good shit.
(got the raw type)
What taste you got?
Soy.
Hey, why don't we all try out each other's flavors?
The Earthling eating habit investigation in order to invade Earth...
Having garlic in it sure makes its rank go up in my book.
I love the scraps of ham at the end.
The butter they put in this miso flavor is really good.
The raw egg really adds a lot of value to the meal.
Oh boy, this looks so good!
(still some seaweed left)
is here to stay in the Pudding Empire!
p023
O Vrenelu, my pretty one, pray tell me where's your home?
My home it is in Switzerland,
'tis made of wood and stone.
p024
Yo ho ho!
tra la la!
Yo ho ho!
tra la la!
Yo ho ho, tra la la!
Yo ho ho!
p025
We invade Earth!!
We will definitely invade Earth!!!
We will most definitely invade Earth!!!
We will abso-positive-lutely invade Earth!!!
COME FORTH, CICADA MONSTER!
p026
You called, sir?
H-Huh?
W-where am I?
This can't be it.
Oh maaaaan.
HE'S LATE!
What the heck's Cicada Monster doing?
I-I'm here!! S-so sorry!! I got lost!
You are LATE, Cicada monster!
You will eradicate the humans! GO FORTH, CICADA MONSTER!
p027
Eventually, the Pudding empire sent an emisary by the name of Cicada Monster, to the perilous planet Earth.
Day 1 (vwoooom)
Day 2 (vwoooom)
Day 3 (vwoooom)
Day 4
I wonder if Cicada Monster's arrived yet.
Who knows.
Day 5
I wonder if Cicada Monster's arrived yet.
Who knows.
Day 6
I'm sure Cicada Monster's arrived now.
Must be.
It is unknown at what kind of planet Cicada Monster arrived,
H-Huh?
W-where am I?
but due to his poor sense of direction, the Earth managed to escape impending doom once again.
p028
The evil Pudding Empire, aiming to invade Earth.
Right now, they are aiming to boost morale for the impending invasion of Earth.
By holding a dreadul ceremony.
[Pudding Empire Great Sports Festival]
Today, you are allowed to forget about your jobs. Enjoy yourselves!
I want you to energize yourselves for the days to come!
And now, an opening word from our Emperor!
p029
(vweeen)
(vweeen)
(what a dork)
(...lookin' good)
The Emperor was very pleased with his "uncool" jersey. Whenever he could wear this jersey, he was filled with dedication.
BEGIN.
p030
(YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY)
...he sure is in high spirits.
The Emperor seems to be participating in all kinds of events...
...What is he thinking.
I can show them what I'm made of here, I can earn everyone's respect!! --Thought the emperor.
However.
50m dash Dead last
Running high jump Failed at 40cm (even the mat was higher)
Group gymnastiscs Good for nothing
p031
I guess trying to win every event is out of the question.
How about just focussing on the ones you're good at?
Which event will it be?
(program)
Bread eating competition.
Will the participants of the Bread eating competition please gather.
On your marks...
GO FOR IT, EMPEROR!
p032
Aaaaaaand--
GO!!!!
GIVE EM HELL EMPEROR!!I
That's it! Bite it!
AAAH!!!
HEY, YOU! STOP!!!
DON'T EAT THE EMPEROR, EAT THE BREAD! THE BREAD!!!
And this is how they quickly managed to raise morale. The Earth is now even more in danger of facing disaster.
p033
Planet Bavaroa, 3 million lightyears away from earth.
Here lies the evil Pudding Empire, hellbent on invading Earth.
(Deparment of Earth Invasions)
Hm?
Huh... Scraps of paper.
p034
Hey, who did this?
Who threw these here?
You can't expect to invade Earth with this kind of attitude!
Come on, fess up!
Hm?
HACK!
MOJAM!!
...did you do this?
Oh... no, it's fine. You don't have to pick them up.
Someone, come give Mojam a hand here.
p035
Hey, don't drop him now!
(thump, thump, thump)
You absolutely CANNOT drop him!
{Steeeeeaaady, steeeeaady...}
Whoopsiedaisy.
AAAAAAAHHH!!
Eeeeeeek! This is why I told you not to drop him!
Mojam is a fragile monster who easily breaks when dropped.
But due to his tremendous regenerative abilities, he returns to his original form in 3 minutes.
Aah, he's back to his original form.
C... Careful now.
Are you alright, Mojam?
Honestly.
That took a couple of years from my life.
p036
Hey, where's Garma?
Oh, he's out with a cold.
Huh?
What the hell... We agreed that he'd go and invade Earth today.
--Cicada Monster was just fine... What do I do now...
Lessee...
What about Jigel?
Out with a cold.
Gaban?
Headache.
Reido?
Vacation.
Magar?
Stomache ache.
What the hell!! Do we even have anyone healthy?!
Don't shoot the messenger.
p037
Fine! Anyone here!
You will go invade Earth!
WHO WILL GO?
...Why don't YOU go?
Yeah, YOU go.
Fine! Anyone who DOESN'T feel I should go?!
Ah... no it's fine, Mojam.
I appreciate the thought....
p038
Majin Zeldo!
This guy's breath, "Pyro Fireball", can even make iron disappear in an instant.
If Zeldo departs for Earth, it should be a doozy.
Emperor.
(hello)
This time for sure, Earth will become ours.
(beep beep beep beep beep beep beep)
(beep beep beep beep)
Uh...
Bee-
Aaaaah...
(crack crack)
Man, I sure could've used a coupla more hours.
Man, I'm sleepy.
Oh, good morning dear.
Oh, right. I kinda have to invade Earth today and all, so I've gotta scoot.
What's for eats?
p040
Dear, I have a small matter I would like to talk to you about.
Small matter--?
Can't that shit wait till I'm back.
So them kids won again ey...
YOUTH HAS ARRIVED.
(what the hell is this guy saying)
Could you please just hear me out for a bit, dear?
I told you I gotta get going asap, didn't I?
It's about Takashi, dear.
Takashi?
p041
What the hell.
What's with Takashi?
(This is your daily paper handout, please collect your unused paper outside―)
Well, the truth is...
He took 2,000 yen from your purse?
Really?
Yes. Yesterday there was 15,400 yen in it.
When I checked in the morning, 2,000 yen was gone.
Get Takashi.
Dear...
You won't be too strict on him, will you?
JUST CALL HIM!!
Takashi, taking other people's stuff is a crime. A CRIME.
I simply cannot tolerate this kind of behavior.
(gulp)
I've talked to mom, and she says you took two 1,000 yen bills.
Spill it boy. And don't give me some bullshit that they got mixed in when you grabbed a few coins.
Please dear, stop.
Where did you pick up this FILTHY behavior?
Dear, if you don't leave now--
SHUT UP BITCH.
PIPE THE FUCK DOWN!
Master Jaba, we received a phone call from Zeldo.
He says: "Sorry, can't invade earth today, family matters."
WH--
...F...
Family matters...
p043
Snake Monster, you are next.
Your strength will definitely allow us to invade Earth.
Sir.
Leave it to me.
p044
...I really don't get it.
What is Master Jaba thinking?
I just can't imagine why...
(whipe whipe)
(ah, feels so good)
Why oh why...
Perhaps Master Jaba's just kind of bad guy?
(swipe)
(snicker)
No, I mean it.
It must be why. He can't even give me an explanation.
Ah, here, ash tray.
Two coffees, a royal milk tea, and one chocolat parfait; here you go gentlemen.
Ah, Coffee, 's mine.
(yop)
Seriously...
p045
Why did he pick Snake Monster there?
Don't you guys think it's weird?
Right?
Ehm...
Ah....
Oh, please, let me get this one.
It's fine.
I mean, look at who he chose last time. This guy...
(that guy, whatshisname)
(bleep)
Crab Monster.
That guy's even barely my senior.
I even gave him an otoshidama.
(*cash money you give kids at new year in Japan)
See?
That guy owes me.
When he just moved here from abroad, I even helped driving him around in my light van.
Uhuh.
p046
Even this Snake Monster...
He joined the Pudding Empire 3 days later than me!
Even though it's only 3 days, I'm supposed to be that guy's senior, right?
(am I lying over here?)
Well?
Uhu.
I'm his senior by 1 second.
There you go!
Huh, you're not drinking your milk?
Errr, I drank half, but you can have the rest.
Why not me?
It should have been me, Buffalo Monster, after Crab Monster.
Oh well.
I just have to get a grip, and move on.
It makes me laugh, really!
Sigh...
p047
Would you like some more water?
Ah, no, 's ok.
I guess the logical approach is a fool's game...
Tomorrow, I'm gonna march to Master Jaba and make a stand for myself...
(mister buffalo's treat sure had an expensive parfait for himself in it)
(let's go pay ourselves)
(dammit, 3-4 loss)
Tryouts VS Noob Monster
NOOB PUNCH!
(noobish)
GEH!
(moooooo)
Noob Monster wins!!
How do you expect to own anyone,
if you're not getting any stronger, Buffalo Monster...
(oh jesus god it hurts)
p048
(cake)
(pom pom)
p049
p050
Zeldo's Final Blaster...
Amazing...
He destroyed an entire planet with one blast...
Zeldo's abilities should be clear with this.
If he were to take off to Earth, it'd definitely be a doozy.
He should be fine this time, right?
Zeldo.
No problemo.
Good. Kekekeke...
This time, this time for sure... we will invade Earth.
What, you're already preparing to depart?
YEP.
p051
The other time, I had to decline the invasion of Earth because of Takashi.
So this time, I definitely do not want to botch it.
Go for it, dad!
You bet!
Leave it to me, Takashi!
(haaaaahahahahaha)
Here, dear.
I've put together a snack basket as means of an apology for before.
I heard the Emperor has quite the sweet tooth.
How thoughtful of you, dear.
Dad, if you don't hurry up...
Oh, right, I should get going!
p052
Oh, almost forgot Pokosuke!
If I don't feed that turtle...
!?
Are YOU feeding Pokosuke?
Yes.
All this time?
Every day?
Yes, that's right.
(happy) beep beep beep beep beep (mad)
What is the meaning of this?
Huh? What is?
Isn't feeding Pokosuke TAKASHI's duty?
Eh...
Ah...
That's... I mean...
TAKASHI.
p053
Hey! You were supposed to take care of your pet yourself. Like we discussed when we bought it, remember?
Why is mom feeding him then?
Huh?
Ah... I...
TAKASHI!
(d... dear... ah...)
Why do you not keep your promises? People who don't keep their promises aren't qualified to keep a living animal!
D-dear... If you don't depart soon...
SHUT UP BITCH.
PIPE THE FUCK DOWN.
W-What?
Family matters again?
...
And so, the Earth was spared once again from a crisis.
p054
It doesn't really give off a feminine presence... But here's some fanservice to encourage the Pudding Empire!!
(actually, the mangaka's human drawing rehabilitation isn't going so well)
Huh? Let alone feminine, what about a HUMAN presence!?
Huh? Huh? HUH?
That being said, the end.
p055
The elder Bargen, retired from his active duties 2 years ago with an extensive state of reputation. A legendary strategist, a man whose personality demands respect...
During the "Offense and Defense of Mirocco" -which is even now still being talked about- he managed to exterminate an enemy army of 10,000, with a mere thousand troops.
(ding dong)
Lately, due to the failure to invade Earth, Master Jaba has been losing it. So he went to request Bargen's opinion on the matter.
Who is it?
Pardon my intrusion. My name is Jaba. Is the elder there?
Grandpaaaaaa, it's Mister Jaba!
Heh... in over your head again, Jaba...
(that elder is... a g... grandpa...)
p056
Well I'll be!
Jaba!
Long time no see! How have you been?
(a ... jersey)
What can I do for ya today?
(lay it on me)
Ah, I have a small matter I would like to discuss...
Oh right, I brought a little something... nothing special.
It's bamboo fish-paste from Sendai; it's great with some wasabi-soy.
Oh you old dog, you shouldn't have.
Hey, Kayoko! Jaba brought us some bamboo fish paste!
Since it's raw, better put it in the fridge.
Second best in town, ain't that sumthin'?
(croquet)
Oh really? Ha ha ha...
You said you bought this fish paste at Sendai?
Ah yes, I bought them in a shopping district. I was visiting a travel agency there.
Hmmm, croquet, huh?
p057
Sure must be a comfy life, being retired.
(twitch)
Ah... did I say something wrong?
Pardon me.
(ohohoho)
Oh Jaba, thanks again for the gift.
Ah, it's nothing.
You boys play nice now!
(staaaaaaaaaare)
Ah... errr...
p058
Kayoko's picking on me.
It's been a bed of nails every day.
Haha... Second best in town...
No wonder. I don't want to be home, so I go out to play croquet every single day.
(pot whistling) (fweeeet)
Ah...
I...
It starts at 6 in the morning.
Ah... I...
...DAMMIT.
Why do we only eat fried food every day?
p059
I've grown old, and my stomach is weak. I get stomach burns from fried food...
Even on sundays, when I look forward to watching Idols on NHK... she won't let me.
The bathtub's the last place left I can cool down...
She purposely makes the room dark...
She makes me clean the cat's litter box.
The bamboo fish paste that you brought over won't even touch my lips.
I can't keep living like this!
Oh god I want to return to the empire...
T... this is bad. I got my hopes up too high, thinking I'd come over and consult him about the invasion of Earth.
I just wanted to hear his opinion...
But it's impossible... I've had to retire due to my age...
...
Maybe I could be a live-in cook at a ryokan...
What do you think, Jaba?
E... Eh... Euhm...
W... Well... there are many ways of life.
No matter how you look at things, it depends on yourself... Gotta think positive!
Y... You know...?
Aiming to consult, Jaba was the one who got consulted!
p060
The evil Pudding empire, set on invading Earth.
Right now, they are aiming to recruit new warriors for the invasion.
(interview room)
They are holding monster interviews.
Your name please?
Bogrob.
Dogrob, got it.
AH!
No, it's BOGROB.
BOG-
p061
TOG-
BOG-
The B from BEAN MOCHI.
B.
(next)
Gelgo.
Lessee... Mister Gelgo, what are your hobbies?
(a bit nervous)
PATCHWORK.
(dodgeball)
Patchwork...
p62
O...
Okay then, what do you like to do in your spare time?
I like to indulge in my patchwork.
Indulge in his patchwork...
(HA HA HA HA HA, HOLIDA-HEY)
This is the last interviewee, emperor.
(hello)
(whoops, looks like they changed seats, never mind!)
Interviewee number 300, CALL ME TOM BABY!
p063
ACK!! It's the elder!!
(health first)
(the emperor doesn't know the elder)
Pleased ta meetcha. My name's Tom, a 16-year old go-getter!
(snap)
This senile geezer is lying his ass off!!
Ah, here. This is a Hamanako local specialty. Eel pie. You should be pleased as pie if you enjoy the taste.
(crack)
Ah, no please, you didn't have to.
(though I really love Eel pie)
The other day, he was saying he wanted to leave the house...
I guess he was serious.
Ah, you see... Even as a child, from kanchou*, to kneeing people from behind... I've always had an interest in evil things like these.
* popular children's game of sticking one's finger in the other's butt
Also, putting stale poop in people's slippers... skipping gym class when there was a marathon...
As for my future plans... I've always wanted to try invading another planet, or something, you know...
p064
Oh, and my weapon of choice is the sickle.
I even have a finishing move.
If you've got some daikon, I can show you how to slice it, and stuff.
Oh, and hard stuff's no problem either.
Ah... No...
Errr... Well.... You know, vegetables are rather expensive nowadays, so rather not.
(diggin' tom's jersey alright) (staaaare)
In the end, the elder completely failed the exam.
(30 names in total)
(Geldo failed too)
[exam results]
NUMBER 300'S NOT THERE!
Ah, wait! I can show you my finishing move! I'll cut through these veggies like gangbusters!
I'm sure you'll change your mind if you see it!
When I came over, I stopped by the greengrocer's to grab me some sweet potatoes.
This guy would sure make a good wife...
(y... you forgot your eye mask)
(he bought it)
p065
Pudding Empire, really set on invading Earth more than ever.
Jaba, in order to achieve this, has decided to introduce forces from an outer planet.
Thus, he is going to hire trained killers.
Master Jaba! We've managed to hire the alledged number one trained killer in the business.
ALRIGHT, WE DID IT!!
p066
(staaare) x3
He's late! Where is this so called number one killer!?
Ah yes! I believe, since he has to come all the way over from the Marudo planet to meet us, it IS going to take some time.
What the? Is this Marudo planet far from here then?
YES!!
I think, round and about...
Yes?
Round and about?
ROUND AND ABOUT--
ROUND AND ABOUT?
More than 2 years.
YOU IDIOT!! OUR PLANET WILL HAVE EXPLODED BY THAT TIME!!
Bavaroa only has 1 year left!!
p067
Get someone else!! Someone else!!
(why're you even whispering)
(whisper whisper)
Then, what about the number 2 killer?
Okay, but is he at least closeby?
As a matter of fact, he's on our planet right now.
ALRIGHT! CALL FOR HIM AT ONCE!
YES SIR!!
(staaare)
... what the hell is this...
The number 2 killer.
p068
So... When is he coming out of his cocoon?
Right. In about 2 years.
(BAM!)
But when he comes out of his cocoon, he'll transform into a poisonous moth monster, and his scales alone could wipe out--
ARE YOU DEAF!? IF WE WAIT THAT LONG, THIS PLANET WILL HAVE LONG DISAPPEARED! DIPSHIT!
Then, the number 3 killer?
No, I don't want to hear it.
Actually... he's also on this planet.
Oh, shut up.
He's a ROBOT.
That can fly through the air at light speed!
p069
(swoosh) x4
Alright!
Transform! Flight form to Battle form!!
UNDERSTOOD.
DOES HE NEED 2 YEARS TO TRANSFORM AS WELL!?
Ah, but of course sir.
(end)
p070
Today, we put rank aside!!!
(i'm da boss)
Bottoms up, Yama-chan!
(doggie says meow)
AAHAHAHAH
Hah, what now "rank!"
Aw shucks, I'm right after you boss?
Even when dealing with new clients, the boss is able to blend in with everyone!
This is also thanks to his ability to put rank aside!
DOWN WITH RANK!!!
(staaare)
Down with rank.
Control Tower
Ruy Ramos
* Brazilian-born football player, who became a naturalized Japanese citizen in 1989.
p071
Huh?
You want to hold a banquet?
Down with rank.
Down with... rank?
As in, disregarding your social position of Emperor towards your subordinates. Having everyone behave normally, without manners, treating you as their equal...
Like that?
...the emperor isn't really good at adapting to people. Don't you think he's just using this as an excuse?
(Correct)
Yeah.
By putting rank aside, I will be able to get closer to everyone! --Thought the emperor.
p072
(Banquet)
(Chrysantheum Room)
Everyone looks like they're having fun.
Yep.
Ugh... He isn't adapting at all.
Well he's not saying anything....
Emperor!! You can't just sit and wait!!
You have to approach people! Open yourself up!
Here. Take this, and go around refilling people's beers.
This way, everyone will soon open up to you!
p073
OKAY! Let's go refill!! --Thought the emperor.
Looks like he's managed to open himself up.
Yeah.
Huh?
(ort ort) (swing, swing)
HEY YOU, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THE EMPEROR!?
p074
Down with rank.
(ort ort) (swing swing)
Swinging at him...
(throw throw)
Throwing at him...
(kick kick)
Kicking him...
Waaah! You again! You can't eat him!!
(eat eat)
Down with rank.
And so, the Pudding Empire's unity grew firmer even more.
p075
COME FORTH, GEBROS!
For the sake of the continuated existence of the Pudding Empire, you shall invade Earth!
COME FORTH, GEBROS!
p076
Huff Huff--
YOU'RE LATE!
S-Sorry... Something came up...
I had to run back home again.
I wasn't sure if I'd switched the kotatsu off.
* A heated table with a blanket, google it
Good preparation is key.
And then, as usual--
Nay! I was sure I turned it off!
(behold!!)
And I did!!
But then, I started to get worried about the main outlet.
(woe is meeee)
p077
Don't cover your head, and leave your bottom exposed.
Last month, there was an article about a place where dustballs collected in an outlet, igniting a fire!
Did you see it in the paper?
Did you?
(didya?)
Thank my lucky stars I noticed it.
Talk about a close shave.
You shouldn't be worrying about stuff like that.
TALLY FORTH, GEBROS!! GO TO EARTH AND ERADICATE THE HUMANS!!
Oh right, almost forgot.
Ah--! Wh--!!
WHAT IS IT THIS TIME!!
Here! Master Jaba!
Here.
W... What is this?
Round mochi!
* rice cake
(duh!)
p078
They were giving these out as housewarming gifts, at our neighbours across the street.
But y'see, if I take these along to the invasion, won't there grow green mold stains on the mochi?
It'd be a waste to throw them away.
(round mochi moldification illustration)
(if it's like this, it's over)
(agreeing)
No way! It's probably not even made with a pestle.
Nine out of ten look like they were made with a machine... Using something like that, I'd never!
But when I get hungry, I could cook me some rice with vegetables, or make some sweet red bean soup...
If you're making sweet red bean soup, it'll take less time if you used canned beans.
Ah! Then, it'd be a good idea to take a can of red beans along!
(how silly of me)
I GET IT ALREADY!!
Go now!!
Invade Earth!!
Go show the Earthlings the extent of your power!! Go!!
Right. Right.
p079
UP AND ATOM!!
Christ, this Gebros guy...
He sure takes it outta ya.
(no running in the hallway)
(stumble)
(Jaba's butt)
What the heck are you doing Gebros!! Didn't you take off for Earth!?
Ah, Master Jaba.
No way.
I was worried whether I locked my front door properly, so I went and double checked by wiggling the doorknob.
(an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure)
Oh crap! I forgot my can of beans at home!!
ENOUGH!!
And so, the Earth passed by another crisis.
p080
How to succeed in invading Earth, 2nd meeting.
Master Jaba.
What's with the bottleneck?
(recently wearing a bottleneck)
...Sigh.
There are stains on my usual outfit... It's being washed.
Meat stains huh?
(it's a bitch to get those off alright, case you don't know)
I get it already!
Who even knows about these things!! Really...
p081
Sigh.
What a lack of professionalism.
Our crew.
It's always something!
It hurts here, it hurts there...
Their stomach hurts, they've got a cold.
(yep yep) x3
How can you expect to invade Earth like this?
They're completely out of shape.
Lacking professionalism.
Just yesterday,
Posion Mushroom Monster comes in
telling me he has a cold, after I ordered him to invade Earth.
Said he got his toncils removed.
Despite that, he was still gonna go to Earth!
But of course,
I declined!
p082
Cause, I asked him "Can you still produce your special poisonous gas like this?"
I got my toncils removed.
I... It's probably impossible.
So then, what was he going to do on Earth?
Exactly!
When I asked him what he was going for then, he replied that he was going on a hot springs vacation.
Sheesh...
Anyway, with this we've come to today's theme.
Yamada-kun, fetch me the book.
Yes sir!
(Here you go!)
I managed to lay my hands on a book about Earth's medical care.
p083
Since we've never had health care, I think this will save us a great deal.
HEH
What?
Ah! No nothing.
Going as far as using your enemy's hygene policies, what have we come to...
Indeed! You could look at it that way, but these shameless tactics are necessary.
Even if we were to use the enemy's hygiene policies to better ourselves, would you call that being greedy?
Are you saying we should go back to before?
You could be saying that we are the ones benefitting the enemy, but
as the situation is now, it is more the case that they are benefitting us.
(oh yeah)
Ah! Good, Kante!
Alright, then let's give this book a look-see.
Hey now! Don't walk so loud!
Yes.
Yes.
p084
Tying leeks around your neck is a good way to stop colds!
(leeks)
Sticking some umeboshi against your temple is a good way to get rid of a headache.
* Japanese dried plum
Japanese Quince Liqueur is good for your throat!
[By acquiring the Earthling book "Grandma's bag of wisdom and unofficial remedies", the Pudding Empire's medical care system became greatly fortified.]
(i see)
(hmm)
(interesting)
(didn't know that)
Let's see... before drinking sake, it's a good idea to drink milk to create a protective layer in your stomache.
Vinegar's good for athlete's foot.
Chameleon plant is good against nasal inflammination.
On cold days, stuff hot peppers in your shoes to keep warm.
If you soak a paper diaper in water, and freeze it, you can use it instead of a water-filled pillow.
Ah! Grandma's bag of wisdom part 2 has a bit about removing meat stains!
(staare)
p085
The evil pudding empire, aiming to invade Earth.
After a strategical meeting, these men decided to have a little break.
Who wants a drink?
Coffee for me.
(coffeeee)
Coffee...
(coffee) x4
Emperor, you need to go to bed in the evening, so please just have some hot coco.
Alright, then coffees all around, bar one hot coco for the emperor.
I really want to drink coffee--
The emperor, who was being treated as a child by Jaba, became ill tempered.
(the emperor has never drank coffee before)
p086
The emperor's room
Now a janitor, then an old man at the sushi bar... But, what lies beneath?
AAH!! IT'S YOU!!
The masked detective! Daigoro Akashi!
I can't believe it was a disguise!!
(staaaare)
This is it!
If Jaba doesn't recognize me, I can slip out of his supervision! --Thought the emperor.
p087
...lookin good.
Yes! This is perfect! Noone will recognize me. --Thought the emperor.
Alright! They didn't say a word! This is great! --Thought the emperor.
...
Okay! If I'm like this, I can visit the city to my heart's content, and drink some coffee!! --Thought the emperor.
p088
Just now... that was the emperor, right?
... some outfit.
(oh hey it's the emperor)
(the emperor)
Yay! Non-stop bar hopping! --Thought the emperor.
(thump thump)
It's the emperor.
It's the emperor.
Ah! It's the emperor.
The emperor.
The emperor.
May I take your order?
Oh, it's the emperor.
Blend.
Would you like milk with that?
You idiot! You're supposed to drink coffee pitch-black.
"You're supposed to drink coffee pitch-black."
The emperor definitely did not miss that.
p089
And so...
...
This is quite bitter, and not tasty at all. --Thought the emperor.
But thanks to his disguise, the emperor was able to drink coffee today.
It is amazing that even Jaba was not able to see through my disguise.
HOORAY FOR DISGUISES! --Thought the emperor.
Ah! The emperor!
The emperor!
Huh?
NO!! STOP EATING HIM!!
AAH! IT'S YOU AGAIN!!
(eating the emperor again huh)
(emperor!) x 5
Afterwards, the emperor got recognized, and was finally found out.
p090
The legendary blood-starved demon sword, CANNIBALISMER.
A demon sword that gives off an overwhelming ghostly presence. When was it, that I started carrying it by my own volition...
A demon sword that thrives on human blood!! I expect to add its strength to our ranks!
Understood. I shall remove its seal.
CALL THE LEGENDARY SWORD!!
Whut?
C... Call?
p091
E... Errr… We ARE talking about a sword here, right?
We don't have to remove a seal, but... CALL IT? What the hell?
Yes! Call it!! I've carried the sword myself, so I should know.
(beep boop baap)
Ah, hello?
Yes, yes.
What did it say?
Ah, no, a woman answered.
She said to come over if it's about the sword.
Probably a maid.
HUH?! The legendary sword has a maid!?
Alright! You shall depart for the legendary sword at once!
D... depart... where to?
Look, there's a convenience store in the second district called "OX Mart."
From there on out, to your left, it's the 3rd house with the red roof.
T-the legendary sword lives in a place like that!?
p092
T-
The legendary sword lives HERE!?
(tomoko)
Oh! You're already here!?
Ah... a maid...
Sorry, I didn't think you'd be coming over so soon...
Mister Canniba is just taking a bath right now.
HUH? A BATH?
(a sword bath?)
Miss Tomoko
It's fine, let him in
Oh, are you sure?
(scratch scratch)
Is this the legendary sword's voice!?
(he sounds like Nenji Kobayashi)
* A senior Japanese TV-actor
p094
Please follow me.
Here it is.
Ah...
T-thank you very much.
Aah-- Don't be shy, step on in.
Right, I'm coming in then.
Oh boy, you sure caught me with my pants down.
(crack)
p094
This...
This, is the legendary sword...
(ahaha, wait for me)
(catch me if you can)
I've put in some navel skins to enhance the scent, nice huh?
They taste great, but they smell great, too... These navels sure are a poor thing to waste.
And so...
It's true I used to crave human blood, and the likes...
But I guess ones taste palette matures as well.
Nowadays, I prefer to snack on something light, like ochadzuke* with some salted salmon...
* Japanese dish composed of rice with green tea
...
[The earth once again steered clear from a crisis.]
p095
SALMON MONSTER!
His bulldozer-like tail alone, has the strength of 5000 horses.
COME FORTH, SALMON MONSTER!
AND MAKE EARTH OURS!!
(banana)7
p096
Master Jaba!
You don't have to shout!!
The chef, Mister Gen, has locked himself up in the toilet!
What?
I'm trying to summon Salmon Monster now; so I will attend to this later.
T-this is concerning Salmon Monster!
WHAT!?
Mister Gen, please come out.
(i'm so sorry, i'm so sorry)
How is he?
(eggplant)
He won't come out.
What the heck happened?
p097
Why has the pudding empire's chef locked himself up in the toilet?
(sumomo)
* Japanese plum
W-Well...
Truth is, Mister Gen confused Salmon Monster for something else.
W-WHAT!!
DID HE COOK SALMON MONSTER, INSTEAD OF A REGULAR, PLAIN OLD SALMON!?
I-It couldn't be... That Salmon meuniere we had for lunch...
(the woods are alive)
E-emperor... didn't you find its greasyness so tasty you asked for seconds?
I--
I'M SO SORRY!
Mister Gen.
You... say you're sorry.
... You doused in flour, you cooked with butter... the monster that was supposed to invade Earth...
p098
We can't bring him back.
We've already eaten him.
What do we do?
I'M SO SORRY!
I'M SO SORRY!
Hey now, Mister Jaba. Don't be too hard on ol' Mister Gen.
T-this voice.
SA--
SALMON MONSTER! BUT HOW!?
AH! YOU'RE SPLIT IN HALF!
Truth be told--
(suuuu)
(fuuuu)
It's partly my own fault.
(jesus it's fricking hot)
Hm?
p099
Man, this stainless kitchen table sure is nice.
(oooooh this is so refreshing)
If I lie on my side like this, I'll doze off in a jiffy.
Then, who's the one that mistook me for a regular salmon!?
(Huh!?)
I'll still go though! To invade Earth.
You say you'll go... but there's only half of you left.
Even so, it only feels like i've lost 1 percent of myself.
There must be something I can still do to help invade Earth, this way.
Hmmm. What could I do...
I could go to a supermarket, and investigate the earthlings' eating habits...
There goes the remaining half...
[Even after having lost half of himself, his tenacity to invade Earth burns as strong as ever! The terrifying Salmon Monster!]
p100
Combining different living creatures...
Ignoring their genes, threading in God's domain... such dreadful conduct.
But that is what the Pudding Empire does.
In order to gain enormous strength from such combinations...
In order to invade Earth...
p101
Conjoined Beast, WINBANIG.
Magic wind beast, Wingull.
Magic fire beast, Banig.
By combining the two of you, we have managed to conjure a tremendous power.
p102
GO FORTH! WINBANIG!
BURN EARTH TO SMITHEREENS WITH YOUR FLAME SPOUT!
GO FORTH! WINBANIG!
p103
FORGET IT.
Why did you have to combine me with this ass?
Right back at you, stupid bird.
Who's a stupid bird!?
Shut up BALDY!
Combining the two of you gave birth to the Flame Spout.
It is the ultimate destructive force.
NOW THEN--
DIE ASSHOLE.
NO, YOU DIE, ASSHOLE.
p104
Please just hear me out, Master Jaba.
When I moved in next to this guy, he didn't even come out to welcome me.
I didn't even say anything about his electric cooler next to my door.
...damn, noisy...
How do you expect me to get along with such an inconsiderate asshole?
Oh get the spoon out of your asshole, birdy.
Since you didn't even send out a notice, I had no idea when to throw out cans and such.
Cans are on wednesday, dumbass. Don't you know your steel and aluminum!? Bald eagle!!
Don't blame ME for YOUR mistakes!
Fine, then allow me to say something.
(damn racket)
(STUCK IN THE MIDDLE WITH U)
PIPE DOWN WITH YOUR SHITTY KARAOKE!!
I always turn the TV down after 10pm!
IDIOT!
SHUT UP BALDY!
I'M GONNA BURN THIS ASSHOLE DOWN!
[God's domain? The Pudding Empire's evil plans have failed, and it's back to the drawing board.]
p105
BEHOLD! I HAVE AQUIRED THIS EARTHLING DEVICE CALLED, A "VIDEO TAPE!"
CALL TOGETHER THE TOP BRASS THIS INSTANT!!
I, JABA, WHO HAS SEEN THE CONTENTS OF THIS VIDEO, DECLARE A STATE OF EMERGENCY! AND I HEREBY ORDER FOR AN EMERGENCY MEETING!
This tape...
Hey now ma-am, choose mirin!
Choose REAL mirin!
Shows a commercial of Hiromi Go dancing, while appealling to you to buy mirin!!
p106
...What the HELL is going on on Earth!?
I-I don't really get the situation...
... Hiromi Go...
Is a treasured, immensely popular singer.
No one is more cooler than him.
THIS MAN APPEARS IN EVERY COMMERCIAL ABOUT THIS FLAVORING; WHICH IS USED WHEN PREPARING MEAT, POTATOES, AND WHATNOT!
HACK!!
p107
...Why must a man like that appear in Mirin commercials?
NO! Why must he be selling Mirin to that extent?
The environmental destruction that's taking place on Earth--
And the destruction of the Ozon layer, do you think they're related?
No way!? Then, do you think there's a chance this could be affecting nations on the other side of the Ozon layer?
...could be.
...I cannot oppose their national decree, nor this Hiromi Go...
But, I wonder about the destruction of the Ozon layer's relation to Mirin then...
Bellmark!
The destruction of the ozon layer is directly related to the decline of plants and trees.
And, if you collect the Bellmark points found on mirin bottles, they send you a tree sapling...
That's not with mirin...
*Bellmark is a foundation built around the recycling of used ink cartridges, founded by Epson Sales Japan
Oh... I see...
p108
There's something bothering me.
In the song...
He sang "choose REAL mirin"... right?
REAL MIRIN!??
...THEN, DOES THIS MEAN THERE IS COUNTERFEIT MIRIN ON EARTH AS WELL!?
YAMADA-KUN!! QUICKLY, INVESTIGATE THIS MATTER!
YES SIR!
... and now, for the results of the investigation.
I have been able to confirm that on Earth, there is Mirin and Mirinfu flavor.
MIRINFU!?
What is different about this mirinfu?
p109
To put it in layman's terms; when making mirin, a lot of hard labour is put into this.
(mirin, expensive)
(mirinfu, cheap)
This naturally makes it rather expensive. Therefor, people wanted to make a similar, more affordable product. So they created Mirinfu.
The main difference in composition, is that there is a lot more alcohol in real mirin.
(less than 1%)
Whereas with Mirinfu, they hardly put in any alcohol at all.
...so what the heck are you saying...
Real mirin
is hella expensive
cause of alcohol.
...anyway.
This mystery has been cleared up, and given us some insight on the situation around our invasion of Earth.
[Could it be that the appearance of Hiromi Go in a Mirin commercial has saved Earth? Nobody knows...]
p110
God of Evil, Jugen. Pudding Empire's one true God.
Right now, these men are aiming to borrow his infinite strength.
They are on the verge of starting a summoning ritual for this God of Evil.
Huh?
What the heck are you guys doing?
p111
(staaare) x2
OUTTA THE WAY!
AAH!
FOIL WRAPPED SWEET POTATOES!!
DO NOT USE THE FLAMES OF DARKNESS TO COOK DINNER!!!
DON'T RUN AWAY!!
NO, EMPEROR! DON'T PICK THOSE UP!
p112
COME FORTH, GOD OF EVIL JUGEN!
...
What happened, Master Jaba?
... I can't quite recall the summoning spell.
I'm sure it was "Bippity bappity, boo!"
And a "Zippety doo dah."
(doo dah)
Never mind, I'll go ask the archivist.
(archive room)
p113
Huh? The summoning spell for the God of Evil?
You've kinda caught me off guard here.
... We'll help you look.
K.
... You sure made a mess in this room alright.
...Ah, yes.
This is not the archives room of an evil empire aiming to invade Earth!
S... Sorry.
I'm sure I wrote it...
On the bottom of a supermarket flyer, I think.
DON'T WRITE IT IN A PLACE LIKE THAT!
SORRY.
p114
Is this it!?
Yep.
There's a stain on it from your teacup...
The wind... The wind is amazing. It can travel anywhere it likes.
Oh, that's a poem I wrote.
...
Due to the failure to summon Jugen,
(sweet potato...)
(garlic sprouts stir fry pan)
the Earth miraculously escaped danger once again.
p115
Summer-- During this time of the year, the sun also shines over planet Bavarao.
A coast on Bavaroa, Shonatsu.
Every summer, the pudding empire, among others, sends a few select elites to this ground, in order to undergo specialized power training.
(short sleaves)
Oh? Gebros and Cicada Monster, who I didn't pick.
AH! EVEN THE ELDER!?
p116
(cicada, gebros, emperor, elder)
IT'S THE SUPER ELITE JERSEY TEAM!!!
LET'S OWN THE SPECIAL TRAINING!
(go for it!)
NO ONE INVITED YOU!!!
...Emperor, you say you want to participate in the special training... but you know you don't have to, right?
Since you don't actually have to partake in the invasion of Earth.
I cannot be left out. --Thought the emperor.
This is my chance to return to the empire!
I won't lose to these whippersnappers! If I show them what I'm made of, I wonder if Jaba could be forced to change his mind.
...These two aren't really thinking anything...
(BLANK)
p117
Alright! Time to pull some sprints on the beach!
Everyone, get pumped!
UOOOOHHH!!
(TALLY HO)
Now, time for push-ups!
DON'T PUSSY OUT!!
Seeeeeveennn.... urk...
Eeeeeeight.
two.....
three....
Elder, Emperor!! Just stop it already. Don't you see this is never going to work out?
(i am gebros)
It's terrible, Master Jaba!
What is?
p118
Buffalo Monster, who was skipping training, went for a swim and is about to drown!!
HELP MEEEE, I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HEEEEERE!!
WHAT!?
Can't anyone go save him?
Everyone is out doing the 100km marathon.
THIS IS THE PERFECT CHANCE FOR THE JERSEY SQUAD TO SHOW ITS STRENGTH!!
Okaaaaay! JERSEY SQUAD, DISPATCH!!
(help meeee)
(overthrow Kayoko)
(ONE GOOD DEED A DAY)
Let's gooooo--
Wait a minute.
Before heading in the water, we should stretch our limbs.
GOOD PREPARATION IS KEY.
p119
(one, two, three, four)
IF YOU DON'T HURRY UP HE'LL DIE!!
ALRIGHT! PREPARATIONS A-OK!!
HOLD TIGHT BUFFALO MONSTER, WE'LL SAVE YA!!
SWIM RINGS!!
p120
THE SUN IS SHINING!!
Helloooo! Special delivery--!!
Hm?
Ah, a bon gift for the Emperor.
*Bon, or Obon, is a lantern festival to honor the departed
What is it, what is it!?
Wow, this is some really high level Napoleon brandy!
(wow, amazing, musta cost a ton)
You sure are lucky, Emperor!
Awesome...
This is the not the kind of bon gift I want. --Thought the emperor.
p121
Ham.
Safflower juice.
Beef.
These are some bon gifts alright.
No one even understands me the slightest. --Thought the emperor.
The emperor became ill-tempered.
(grrrr)
The reason being that the sweets he likes so much, have not come even once as a bon gift.
p122
Another gift for the emperor.
What's this, it's so tiny.
Oh, It's just a bar of sweet potato paste!
(twitch)
Who sent this? A bar of sweet potato paste is such a cheap gift. Some people...
Even though most people have sent hams, or Napoleon brandy...
The emperor simply couldn't help being overjoyed about these sweets!
At last one person who understands me!
Who could have sent this? --Thought the emperor.
(from Deroi)
Deroi.
p123
I must meet with this Deroi, and thank him! --Thought the emperor.
I wonder what kind of person Deroi is.
The emperor's mental image of Deroi.
(jersey)
(sweets)
Since this person sent me sweets, I bet we share the same hobbies! --Thought the emperor.
Pudding Empire bachelor dorm, Wakabaso.
Emperor!
Deroi? He's here, but...
He's in room 302.
(room 302)
p124
I am kind of anxious! --Thought the emperor.
Should I go back? --Thought the emperor.
But, I want to meet this Deroi, who seems to understand me.
Deroi is on the other side of this door.
(Deroi)
What should I do? --Thought the emperor.
--End of GOGO! Pudding Empire 1--
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