Gintama 189

All right i'm gonna be honest with you guys here and tell you that i can't read too many kanji without the furigana. So it goes without saying that pages 14-19 probably have a crapload of errors in them as i had to rely on context clues mainly. PLEASE let me know where i'm wrong so i can fix it. Or else i may not be able to do the next week because this looks like how they will be talking for a while. :(

[Have a look at the center of the screen..]

[The Camera isn't playing tricks on your mind, lately there has been something strange occuring with cows being able to fly in the air like the birds can.]

Center Text: A world that you don't know....!!

Farmer: I was working outside and i saw this light in the sky.

It covered the whole thing, including anything that was flying above, and even the cows that were below.

I heard that my neighbor Hikohachi had the same problem, that something weird happened to his pigs...just who would do this?

[The Bakfu has been alerted about several incidents such as this one.]

[Currently they are launching an exstensive campaign to try to get to the bottom of this, and there is no need for people to worry..but for precaution they should stay indoors.]

[And now we continue with the news.]

Shinpachi: It seems like an animal thief is out there stealing...i wonder who would ant to go out of their way to do that?

Gintoki: Seems like now that the new thing is Cattle Mutilation or something like that.

002

Gintoki: Not just now, a while back when the Amanto first showed up, they would take people to unknown places

And then try to forcefully find out things about the human body by abducting them.

The Amanto would do their thing and then toss the human back to earth

After erasing his memories of course, so he couldn't spread the message once he got back.

Geez, its just them again doing whatever they want.

You know Shinpachi, lately your body has been a bit weird too. I could swear that your finger is getting longer.

Maybe you should go get that checked out.

Shinpachi: Hahah..don't play mean jokes like that please! I'm not a little kid you know, such tales won't scare me!

Oh? Gin-san the Tv seems to be acting up again.

Gintoki: What? I just got it fixed.

Maybe this hunk of junk is nearing the end of its life span...i should start redecorating or something..

Shinpachi: Ah..Gin-san If you're gonna fix it..you should get a screwdriver.

003

Shinpachi: Don't you have one?

Gintama
Lesson 189- To a Novice a Phillips and a Flathead are equally as splendid.

Sorachi Hideaki

Bottom text- The Novel 3rd year Z Class Ginpachi-sensei is running in Jump SQ right now!

Side text- GOLD FINGER!!

Shinpachi: WHAWHAWHAWHA WHA WHA WHA WHAT THE HELL!?!?

My fingeeeeeeeeer! It became a Phillips screwdriver!!!

Gintoki: Hey Shinpachi, how many times will your weak character change? isn't this good?

Shinpachi: It has nothing to do with my character! My finger has become a Saikogun! With this i've got more to worry about than my ranking!!

THATS WRONG TOO!! SHOULDN'T I WORRY ABOUT WHY THIS HAPPENED MORE SO THAN WHO WILL VOTE FOR ME?!!?

004

Gintoki: Can't you remember anything weird?

Shinpachi: IF I COULD I WOULD DAMMIT! WHO WOULD BE ABLE TO FORGET SOMETHING LIKE THIS?!

Gintoki: If you don't remember then you know what it COULD be...

Hey hey remember it could very well be the Cattle Manipulation.

(No....No way...)

[That was...]

[A dream....right?]

Shinpachi: All right, todays dinner will be Sanma..

Fall is definatly the time for some Sanma...

005

Shinpachi: Wha..

Thats!!

Uwah!!

Maaa

uhh

??: how's this?

??: This is no good either...you have to screw this thing right here until they meet!

006

Alien 1: Damn, i guess its about time i remodeled my PSP.

The analog stick on this thing is brokoen and doesn't work properly.

I thought that this thing would be pretty easy to repair on my own though.

Alien 2: Thats why you're a novice. Just quit it and go take it back to sony.

Alien 1: Yeah i would if i had the freakin' money.

Alien 2: You know if you keep it up, you'll break it and then Sony won't fix it at all..

Alien 1: Really?

But when i bought it i had a guarantee on it.

Shit, maybe i should have kept the box then...

Shinpachi: GYAAAAAAH!

WHAT ARE YOU GUYS GOING TO DO TO ME?!

WHERE IS THIS?!?!

Alien 1: Geez, he woke up...Could you not yell?

Alien 2: I think that it's probably natural for him to yell senpai.

Shinpachi: UWOAAAAAH! This...wait! My Finger! What the hell hapened to it?!?!

007

Alien?: Um..about that..yeah..we don't know.

Shinpachi: You don't know my ass!! You bastards changed it into a Philips!! This is a Philips screwdriver right?!

Alien?: Um..well its not really that at all you see...

Shinpachi: Stop with the lies!! You can't just take aa human's body and change it at your will you know!!

Alien: No its not like that, just let me talk.

Senpai wanted to see if he could fix his PSP.

Shinpachi: PSP!?

Alien: AH! You told him!!!

Shinpachi: HEY! WHAT THE HELL IS A PSP?!? Are you asses telling me that you did what you did for that purpose?!

Alien: No...its not like that i said! We just had a good feeling on that kind of driver so we went with it.

Shinpachi: WRONG! THIS ISN'T HOWE ITS SUPPOED TO BE! WHEN ITS BROKEN YOU TAKE IT TO THE HOME CENTER NOT MODIFY HUMANS!!

Alien: No, thats not it at all, we were just trying to settle the argument..

Alien: This is why i told you not to mess around with my Mon han!, and i turn my back for a sec..and thats what you were doing!

If you hadn't done that i could have defeated Baosharon! For that you have to wear senpai's wig ok?!

Alien: My ass, you couldn't have defeated Baosharon anyway.

Alien: YOu know, you don't know anything about it. I could have defeated him with Purin on my team, but i wasn't able to find it. Geez this sucks...i was so close tool

Shinpachi: NEITHER ONE MATTERS!!

HEY! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT THIS? CHANGE ME BACK!

I'M GOING TO SUE YOU BASTARDS FOR EVERYTHING YOU'VE GOT!

008

Alien: What should we do Senpai?

No..just give up on the PSP.

A new one came out on the net recently anyway..go buy that one.

Alien: But i had all of my data on this PSP...i don't want to give it up...

Alien: What about this guy?

Alien: Toss him out on the street or something.

009.

Gintoki: So they did a Cattle Mutliation on you...to make your finger into a Philips so they could fix a PSP? Sounds like they're really into it.

Shinpachi: Hey...look at me.

DON'T YOU DARE LAUGH!!

I HAVE TO FIND A WAY TO GET MY FINGER BACK TO THE WAY IT USED TO BE!!

THIS WAY I CAN'T PICK MY NOSE OR HUG SOMEONE I LOVE!

Gintoki: Don't worry about it, you can always find someone you love within your heart's screw and screw it in tight.

Shinpachi: WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?! DO YOU THINK ITS FUNNY? WHAT'S A HEART'S SCREW?!?!

Gintoki: Don't be such a worrywart. You've got nine other fingers, I seriously doubt the world will end if one is sightly different. You should think of the advantages of having a Phillips finger.

I'm gonna go take a leak.

Shinpachi: QUIT DEEVALUATING PEOPLE'S LIVES!!

Kagura: Yo...

Shinpachi: Ah! Kagura-chan! Look at this!! My Finger...

010

Kagura: I had a really weird dream last night...

Shinpachi: GIN-SAAAAAAAAAAAN!

Kagura-chan....Kagura Chan....Her whole body has become a Flathead screwdriverr!!

Gin-san! Are you listening! Gin-san!!

Gin-san!!

........

Gin-san?

Shinpachi: Don't tell me....

011

Shinpachi: Gin-san...

Don't tell me...

Gintoki: Heh...

Pattan....

Gintoki: I must KILL the Aliens...

For the grave sin the've comitted against me..

Shinpachi: THE'VE DONE IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

Gin-san's Analog stick is!!! They really did it!!!

Sign- Internet and Tea.

??: Sorry, but there isn't very much information on what we're seeking.

These don't seem to be Amanto from a known star...so no one knows where they are currently.

12

Shinpachi: What we do know is that they seem to be interested in something called "Mon Han"

And it originated here so they've come looking...but nothing more than that.

Kagura: What's this "Mon Han" thing?

A MonGorila hamster?

Shinpachi: its a new game that has become a fad all around the galaxy.

"Monkey Hunter." or its more popular name "Mon Han".

The player is to take the role of a Hunger who goes around defeating eveil creatures who happen to be monkies. Its an awfully addictive game.

They probably came here to pick up a PSP and the newest version, in order to be able to play online.

This is pretty good luck.

Since its an online game we can simply find out their information whenever they log onto the net and find them in the game when they're playing.

No matter where they are in the universe, the game has one central point that we can meet them at for sure.

Kagura: But wouldn't everyone in the universe that's playing the game end up gathering at that point? It would be a pain to look for them...

Shinpachi: There's no way around it unfortunatly...we'll just have to get the game and head in hoping to find the place that they're hiding.

Gintoki: Wouldn't it be quicker to simply hunt out the Amanto here or something like that? Find a dog and bring 'em here quickly.

Then i can kill each one of them one by one.

Shinpachi: Gin-san, that won't get us anywhere. Besides theres not much we can do with Kagura in this shape.

013

Gintoki: I don't care about all that Shinpachi! You can do things your way then!

I just need to pay those bastards back tenfold for messing around with my analog stick! Its the only one i get dammit!!

I'll send them to the other world! My super analog tisck has been made fun of! No its my joystick! My joystick has been turned into a driver!!!

Shinpachi: Please don't yell Gin-san.

Gintoki: Besides that what kind of driver did it get turned it to? I don't ren recoginze this one!!

Shinpachi: Most likely its a Box Driver...

Gintoki: WHO USES THAT ANYMORE? AT LEAST TURN MY JOYSTICK INTO SOMETHING USEFUL DAMMIT!!

Kagura: But Gin-chan, you never really got to use your Joystick before did you? I think its better this way.

Gintoki: A Minus Driver like you wouldn't understand my feelings!

I'll never forgive them! I don't care where it is whether its in space or in the middle of a network! I'll get my Anolog stick back!

I'll definatly turn back into the glorious specimin i used to be!

LETS DO THIS YOU GUYS!

Shinpachi: You got it!

Gintoki: OK then I'll log in one place Kagura chan you go to another, and We'll all meet up in the game together!!

Gintoki and Kagura: ROGER!!

014

[Welcome to the world of Monkey Hunter!]

[This is the place where the universe gathers to accomplish their dream of a galaxy wide adventure!]

[Please remember your net manners, and respect people that you may meet during the game, and learn to cooperate.]

[With that, you can now enter the world, once you have established your existance.]

Shinpachi: I see, you can make your own character before you start.

I wonder what kind Gin-san and Kagura-chan made?

Well this guy definatly fits the bill.

He looks almost like me too, anyway it doesn't matter since i chose some of my best parts.

[Name: Pattan, Weapon: Short Sword Equipped with: Glasses.]

Shinpachi: Wow...there really are a lot of people here.

Are they all here to play the game? I would have never thought so many people were into this...

015

Shinpachi: We'll if anything i'm sure that those guys are here.

We have to search for them in order to get our bodies back to normal.

But Gin-san and Kagura-chan sure are late...

They should have made it here before me right?

Text Box: Hello.

Shinpachi: Ah..someone has started talking to me.

Its a girl.

She's inviting me to join her group....should i accept?

Girl Text Box (TB): Are you playing this game alone? To be honest sho am i. Shall we join forces and hunt the great evil together?

Shinpachi: Man..this is a weird feeling...

Normally its me who's asking the girl out...so i can't help but be a little happy.

But Gin-san and Kagura-chan are waiting.

I guess it wouldn't hurt to have the girl tag along though...

Shinpachi (TB): I'm sorry but i' waiting for someone

Shinpachi: I guess it can't be helped.

Girl (TB): I see, that is a pity, i was actually in trouble so i was looking for a certain item. Its something that can be ingested.

Shinpachi (TB): Ah...i see, well i'm just starting out so i have no items so far...

Girl (TB): I see, thats no problem, can i wait here?

016

Girl (TB): Oh and give me your Gintama.

Shinpachi: GIN-SAN?!?!

Gintoki: GIVE ME MY ANALOG SICK!!

Shinpachi: WAIT DON'T JUST ATTACK ME LIKE THAT!!

Girl (TB): Didn't i say to hand it over?!?

Shinpachi (TB): Stop it I'm your friend Gin-san!

WAITT!! This game is about defeating the Monkey and evolving your stats! Why are you here searching for that kind of thing?!

Girl(TB): I'm here for the balls glasses.

Shinpachi: Don't just make up your own rules you annoying bastard!

Shinpachi(TB) Don't tell me that because you lost your Analog Stick that you believe in your heart that this is what you are now?!

Girl (TB): Don't be stupid, i just wanted to try out a different character.

Listen up, we're not here to play or anyting like that. We're here to find those Amanto.

I thought i could fool them if i came here not as a man but as something else.

Shinpachi (TB): Hey! Thats right! Nice Gin-san!

Girl(TB) I thought that we could try to hide if we changed our ideities in the game, that way these guys won't know what hit them.

Shinpachi(TB?) I guess thats a good point..lets try it.

Girl(TB): Good, now lets look for some strong looking guy to join our party so we can really kick things into gear.

Girl(TB): Wow! That guy there fits the bill! He's strong looking and it seems like he's got more than 100 hours of play experience!

Shinpachi(TB): Um..excuse me...i hate to be a bother but...we need help..

Kagura(TB): What do you want?

Shinpachi: ITS YOU!?!?

Kagura(TB): Ah Gin-chan.

Girl(TB): Why the hell do you have so much experience for someone who just started?!? And who's face is that? You don't even look slightly like that dammit!!

Shinpachi(TB): Kagura-chan, where did you manage to get such a cool looking character?

Kagura(TB): I'm a hunter, i found something and drank it and managed to get this this character.

Shinpachi(TB): Well if everyone is here i suppose we can start..

???(TB): Um...excuse me...

018

Shinpachi(TB): Oh sorry, we've already filled up our party...we don't need more partners...

Pig(TB): Oh no thats not it, i'm just here to do whatever i want.

???(TB): This must be one of the hunter encounters that are in this game...not everyone wants to be our partners after all.

???(TB): Lets see if he knows anything.

???(TB) YAH!

???"(TB) Lets try to eat him!

Shinpachi: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!

TB: And now we will bake him.

Shinpachi: Bake?!?!

TB:

Shinpachi(TB): WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR? WE AREN"T SUPPOSED TO DO THAT TO OTHER HUNTERS DAMMIT!!

Girl(TB) What are you complaining for?! We're supposed to be looking for some Monkey right?! Don't we need to charge up in this game?!

TB: AH...Shit!!

Shinpachi(TB): If you break the rules in this game there are consquences! And now the consequences have shown up!!!

TB: For that we're gonna make sure there won't be a second time in this game for you!

TB: RUN FOR IT!!

???: Hmm...Looks like some interesting guys have manged to show up around hre...

Side text: Hunt or be hunted!

GINTAMA LESSON 189...END