Gintama 202

I'm a bit late but I have a good (bad) reason! I was playing (obsessed) with Gyakuten Saiban 4. (Apollo Justice Ace Attorney.) So I forgot (didn't feel like) translating Gintama. But here it is, and I won't (am planning to) be late again.

???: 10 people have approved, and one has voted against…

Other than Hijikata it’s a unanimous approval of this new legislature…

Side text: The Shinsengumi’s age comes in like a wave….

Bottom text: The official Gintama anime guide ‘Gintama Anime Gaya gaya Box’ And the newest volume of the manga; Volume 23 are both going to be released April 4th!

??? : The Shinsengumi headquarters from today on will no longer allow..

Any smoking on the premises!

GINTAMA
Sorachi Hideaki.

Lesson 202: A Cigarette box with only two cigarettes in it smells a lot like a guy who walks into a room with the scent of horse dung.

Hijikata: H—Hey! How the hell could you guys turn this into a non-smoking establishment? It’s like being in the non smoking section in a train dammit!

At least give me a corner where I can take a smoke…

SFX (*pitsu* Pluck.)

SFX (*gushu* Sssssh)

Okita: It’s already been decided on.

002

Guy: Maan. Okita’s proposal sure made for one hell of an interesting meeting huh?

Guy2: Tell me ‘bout it. I dunno what we’d do if the Vice Captain kept up his smoking around here.

At least now we don’t have to worry about that damn smoke.

Yeah! I’ve always said that smoking doesn’t belong in a place for training.

SFX (*Ton* Pat.)

Hijikata: That damn bastard…screwing around.

I’m really considering quitting the Shinsengumi now.
Hijikata: Damn….I guess I can’t just quit either. I need my nicotine intake or else…

003

SFX (*Chifu* Ahem.)

Sign (Warning! There is no smoking allowed!)

004

Hijikata: Excuse me. Do you have an ashtray available?

Waitress: I’m really sorry.

We don’t allow smoking of any kind in this establishment.

Sign (No smoking!)

Sign on garbage (Please help keep our park clean and don’t smoke!)

Sign on side (No smoking in the bathroom!)

005

SFX (*Gan! Gan!* Thunk thunk)

Girl(Handwritten.): What is that?!

Girl2(Handwritten.): Don’t look at him!

SFX (*Gan! Gan!* Thunk Thunk)

Hijikata: I…I…I….

NEED SOME SMOKE BAAAAAAD!!

SFX (*Hah hah hah hah* Breathing heavily.)

Hijikata: No matter where I go, every single place has a stupid ‘No smoking allowed’ sign up!

When the hell did this country turn into a huge ‘non smoking section’ for god’s sake?!

Wait, maybe if I tell myself I don’t need to smoke I won’t need to.

No its no good…I’m at my limit.
At this rate I’ll….I’ll…

SFX (*Yoro yoro* Wobble wobble.)

006

Hijikata: Tha…

That’s….

(Sign- Ashes here.)

{I’ve found it! Finally!}

{My Oasis!}

(TN- Kanji reads ‘Smoking Area.’)

News caster: And with continuing coverage..

The Universal council has finally all come together to have a Universal meeting over the last hour.

They’ve been discussing the problem that has befallen the citizens, and thinking of a way to solve it.

The Bakfu has decided to have a micro Campaign on the matter, stating their intention on how to rectify this situation.

Matsudaira: The ozone’s destruction has become a huge issue that we plan on solving.

Its important however that humans first start by changing little habits of their own to improve things.

Below Text: The Council committee meeting’s superior management Matsudaira Katakuriko.

007

Matsudaira: People of course can say that they intend this and intend that, but when it comes down to it, they still gamble with the state of the earth. So now we’re going to exercise our own power.

Pops says that if you can’t find the strength to improve your own character then you’d might as well not exsist.

If you don’t want to help yourself, that’s fine, but then Earth isn’t going to last long that way.

You know my daughter often complains about how much she hates the cigarette smoke, which is exactly why I think this Earth needs changing.

With that in mind…

From this second on this day, all of Edo will be undertaking

A ‘no smoking policy’.

SFX (*Katsu* Sheen!)

SFX (*Dooon!* Boooom!)

008

News Caster: To repeat this message,

At this moment, all of Edo is undergoing a huge ‘no smoking policy’.

This means that anyone wanting to smoke will have to find other areas to do so.

Anyone doing otherwise will be severely punished.

To repeat this message…

???: An Otaku’s space voyage?

It’s amazing what you can do these days.

Don’t tell me you’re planning to travel all around the universe to each star for the rest of your days?

So? What star are you headed to?

Hijikata: Hamkku star.

(TN- This is SO obvious.)

Man: Hamekku? You mean that planet where you can smoke wherever you want?

Hijikata: Its decided then.

009
Hijikata: I NEED A SMOKE.

SFX (*Gin* Glare)

Man: Eep!

Hijikata: Those non-smoking freaks have met their match.

When I was back in Highschool I’d find a place to smoke if I really wanted to do it. Its just a matter of putting mind over matter.

Whether its anime or smokes, I’ve got a good feeling that If I keep looking around I’ll defiantly find a place that I can smoke in peace.

If I’ve got to leave this damn star to get a place to smoke my cigs, I’ll freaking travel around the universe!

Don’t screw with me ‘non smoking policy’!!

Hamekkuian: Is that so?

Well you’re right. You can come to our planet Hamekku to smoke wherever and whenever you want to.

010

Hamekkuian: Unfortunately ever since the evil emperor Buriza took over this planet, he’s burnt over everything turning it into a wasteland.

Even cigs are…

This is the very last one.

That’s fine, even if its one.

Derude: Stop it Old man!

Gramps: Let go of me Derude!

Derude: That’s my old man’s last smoke! He made that one right before Buriza killed him! I won’t let you give away his last penance!

Gramps: Shut your mouth Derude! The fact that this cigarette exists means that it will eventually have to be smoked! Otherwise it wouldn’t be a cigarette!!

All we can do now is enjoy the memory as this man enjoys this last one!
He would have wanted that to you know!

SFX (*Ugutsu* Sniffle.)

SFX (*goshu* Wipe)

011

Derude: This is my dad’s cigarette.

Please enjoy the robust flavor…

Man: Oh my what a coincidence. Haha…

Um how was your trip? Did you enjoy your smoke and are going back home?

Hijikata: No.

Man: Huh? Well where are you going?

Hijikata: TO DEFEAT BURIZA.

SFX (*GIN* Glare.)

Man: To defeat Buriza? Huh? You aren’t going to go smoke instead?

Hijikata: Of course I can’t do that now.

I have to go kill that Buriza guy, or else I’ll never be able to enjoy my cigarette again dammit!

012

Buriza: Guaaaaaaaah!

SFX (*Zuzaaaaa* Slaaash)

Hijikata: Get me a cigarette bitch. Its because of you I can’t enjoy them on Planet Hammeku, so tell me where they are.

Buriza: Gwah..

You managed to defeat the great Buriza.

Are you actually the Super Earthling of legend?

Hijikata: Shut your face and get me some Cigarettes. I’m getting really irritated now you know.

Buriza: Hah Irratated? So you are on the path of becoming a Super Earthling. You were the one who single handedly defeated my son that one time aren’t you?

Hijikata: No…Who the hell is that? And on that note, He doesn’t look a thing like you.

Buriza: It can’t be that you’re looking for the same object that I’m looking for can it?

Well whatever. By defeating me you’ve also managed to defeat the Universal empire, so I should go ahead and give this to you.

Here…take this.

Hijikata: THAT ISN’T WHAT I WANTED AT ALL!!

GIVE ME SOME DAMN CIGARETTES!! DID I SAY THAT I WANTED THAT CREEPY-ASS SMOOTH BALL?!

Buriza: Well you’re right it is a Smooth-smooth ball.

013

Buriza: If you gather all seven of these balls you can call the Smooth-smooth dragon.

Whatever you want the dragon will give you. They’re mysterious objects these balls.

Hijikata: YOU DEAF?! I DON’T WANT THOSE DAMMIT!

Buriza: In order for you to get what it is you wanted, you’ll have to gather six more of these balls.

Hijikata: I said BRING OUT THE CIGARETTES! Where are they?! Why should I go through all that to get them!?

You’ve got to be kidding me…Where the hell do I have to go in this universe to buy some Cigarettes? Either way I’d better get moving.

That’s right, I guess it would be fine to start from here.

SFX (*Guzu hikku* Sniffle sniffle.)

Goku-lookalike.: GURIRIN!!!!

Open your eyes!! GURIRIRN!!!
Damn! If only I had the Smooth-smooth balls!

014

Man: Hey….

What are you doing this time?

Hijikata: I’M GOING TO REVIVE GURIRIN.

Man: Who’s Guririn? I thought you were going out to get some Cigarettes? Morover, who’s that beside you?

Goku-lookalike: What’s up? I’m Kobayashi! I can’t stop shivering with excitement!

(TN- He says this EXACTLY like Goku would.)

Man: Kobyashi?! That’s not exciting at all?! Where the heck did you get such a lame sounding name like that one?

Hijikata: Shut up both of you. I’m going to revive Guririn, gand then I’m going to get some Cigarettes! You better believe that the next planet we set foot on is the one I’m going to light up on as well!

???: Come forth Smooth Dragon, and grant our Wishes!

015

Hijikata: What?

Nothing’s happening, even though we went through all the trouble to get these seven balls.

Kobayashi: Wait a sec!! This one here! Its not a Smooth-smooth ball at all!

Hijikata: What?!

Kobayashi: Yeah the other six are the real deals, but this one here is actually…

Slimey-slimey ball!

Hijikata: WHERE’S THE DAMN DIFFERENCE?!?

There’s nothing different between the two of them!

Kobayashi: It’s so Slimy!
Hijikata: You’re the one that’s a slimy problem here dammit!

See look! Something is actually happening! They ARE all smooth-smooth balls!

SFX (*Gogogo* Ruuumble.)

016

SFX (*Dororon* Roooooar.)

Dragon: Congratulations. You have gathered all of the slippery-slippery balls.

Hijikata: Whether they’re slimy or slippery it didn’t even make a difference!

Never mind that, Quick makes the wish to bring back Guririn…

Kobayashi: So its not the smooth-smooth dragon? Ah oh well that’s fine I guess.

Hijikata: Are you freaking kidding?! There’s no difference!

Just do what you have to do! Ask him to bring back Guririn! You can use the Slippery slippery dragon to get another friend back!

Kobayshi: No…no I can still ask this dragon for something else.

Hijikata: What?

Kobayashi: Gimme some Girls panties!!

Hijikata: HEY!!

017

Hijikata: You’re gonna ask the dragon for something like panties dammit?! What the hell do you think life is?!

You’d really choose some dirty panties over the life of your friend?!

Kobayashi: Nothing! Right now theirs nothing!

Dragon?: Quickly what do you want to wish for? I’m going to vanish soon.

Hijikata: Wait just a moment.

Do you think you could get me some non slimly-slimy Cigarettes?

???: What…..

That’s right.

The best ones that you can get your hands on.

Gramps: You.

Why are you here?

018

Gramps: Could it be at last you decided to…

Take the best Cigarettes in the universe?

Hijikata: I know that those things are an important keepsake from your dad…

However…

SFX (*Zatsu* Turn.)

You don’t need a keepsake anymore.

Your father is right here.

Derude: No…No way…

Hijikata: Yeah.

It’s your father.

SFX (*Numeeee* Bleeeeh)

SFX (*Bitca Bicha* Drrip drip)

019

Derude: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? CAN THAT EVEN BE CALLED MY DAD ANYMORE?!

Hijikata: So he’s a little smooth-smooth. What’s the big deal?

Derude: HAVE YOU NO RESPECT FOR THE DEAD?! THAT’S JUST CREEPY!

Hijikata: Though he’s a little smooth, He’s defiantly the real deal.
Man: Oh its you again…

Still looking for the next planet to grab a Cigarette on? Where to?

Hijikata: Heh…

I’ve decided…

I’m gonna quit smoking.

Bottom text: ‘No smoking policies’ are serious business!

GINTAMA LESSON 202…END.