Gintama 229

And here we are back to gags again >_> So much for chapters that don't give me a headache. But I still love Gintama to death so....and this was freaking hilarious. (What a love hate relationship I have with this manga...)

GINTAMA

(Side text- Training in the doujou at night is…)

(Sign- Kadokan Doujou)

(Sfx- Fun fun! *Hup! Hup!*)

(Sfx- Fun Fun *Hup Hup!*)

(Sfx- Bun bun *Swish swish*)

Tae: You’re up early Shin-chan.

Shinpachi: S-Sister.

I’m sorry, did all of my ‘hup’ing wake you up?

Tae: No, I’m fine with your hup’ing or your umphing. Please continue.

Shinpachi: Sorry to trouble you….I will.

(Sfx- Bun bun *Swish swish*)

(Sfx- Han han!! *Hah! Haaah!*)

Tae: Shin-chan, It’ really isn’t a problem what sound you’re making…so you don’t have to change it.

002

{I want…}

{To become stronger.}

{For the things I want to protect….}

{Myself, and everyone…I have to become better}

003

{I won’t be defeated}

{Not by him….}

{Or myself.}
{I must become stronger!}

Shinpachi: We want….

To become stronger.

(Side text- The fate of Shounen Jump!)

GINTAMA
Lesson 229: All adults are all children’s instructors.
SORACHI HIDEAKI

(Bottom text- The newest Jump comics Volume #25 is now out in stores!!)

004

Gintoki: Hmph

Sounds good to me.

Good luck.

Shinpachi: Um…can’t we get something a bit more than ‘good luck’? You were on the last page weren’t you?

We did such a great job establishing a serious atmosphere….

And it seems from here on in, we’re supposed to establish some kind of training arc.

Gintoki: A training arc? Why?

Well anyway you guys sure have your work cut out for you if that’s the case.

Shinpachi: Um…no that’s not what I meant.

You’re supposed to come up with a special regimen…or tell us some secrets…

Kagura: That is right Gin-chan. If we’re going to get stronger you are essential.

(TN- I’ve decided to try some things out with Kagura’s translation, since I hate the fact that I translate her talking normally when she isn’t. If you’ve played Golden sun, perhaps this may look familiar.)

005

[And so three months passed with nothing occurring.]
(Sign- Yorozuya Gin-chan.)

Gintoki: Ma~an that was some harsh training.

Shinpachi: IT WASN’T!! NOTHING HAPPENED!! THAT WAS 3 SECONDS NOT MONTHS!!

Gintoki: Age is the best experience after all.

Shinpachi: WHAT’S WITH THAT ‘TRAINING’S OVER’ TYPE NARRATION?!

Gintoki: Keep your shirt on. Sure it might be one second for the people reading, but if we pretend hard enough it can be a month for us.

So all you need to do is put your mind into thinking we’ve been through three months and it’ll happen.

Shinpachi: What do you mean?! Whether it’s been three months or one, if we don’t do anything but sit around, how can we possibly get stronger?!

Gintoki: What’s wrong with that? If you feel like you accomplished something it’s fine right?

Pointless training is pointless. I don’t want to do anything that I won’t gain from.

Kagura: The three pillars of jump! Have you forgotten so easily?! They are Friendship. Effort and Victory!.

With no effort there is no victory!

Aspiration is important! Without it we can’t defeat our enemies!

Gintoki: No way~ It’s annoying…you guys are…

Man you guys are annoying, It’s annoying to do anything…

Geez, it’s so very annoying---I don’t wanna do anything…

Shinpachi: HOLY COW YOU’RE ANNOYING!!

006

Gintoki: Besides you guys just keep talking about training this, and training that. Do you even have any idea of what you’re aiming for?

Training isn’t just saying you’ll go and do it, its about creating a certain type of atmosphere.

If you think that training arcs are like the ones in Jump, you’re making a big mistake. The house is the house, you’d have to go somewhere else.

For example, go train in another manga. I’ve heard of some good ones.

Shinpachi: Are you our mom now?! You sound like a tired mom convincing her kids to go outside!!

Gintoki: Listen up, nowadays friendship, effort, and victory don’t go anywhere.

That’s a slogan that Jump came up with more than 10 years ago, in an age long past. It’s dead now, just like a lot of decent manga are.

Shinpachi: Old manga don’t die! They just get special chapters in Jump square!!

(TN- Dude, I felt that one, that’s a low but hilarious blow Sorachi.)

Gintoki: Training arcs are a dime a dozen. Any creator still using them needs to knock it off.

No one remembers the training after you get the super loud super flashy special move. It’s why new manga come in and out so often.

In the end, we should stay out of that territory.

Shinpachi: You’re the worst! You just don’t want to do anything!! That’s why you’re saying those depressing things!!

Gintoki: Besides, are you guys telling me that you really can’t think of your own ways to train?

It’ really doesn’t matter what you go out and do, just as long as you work hard at it.

Kagura: I have thought about that! I did lots of thinking!

Gintoki: Well, what did you come up with?

Kagura: I decided on going into the forest.

Let me see. How about forest seclusion?

007

Kagura: Huh? Tha—That bear…

Shinpachi: Don’t tell me you went up to fight a bear?! Did you learn anything?

Although, that’s a rather old way of training…cliché even.

Kagura: Do not let my legs move around. I will try the sit ups.

Shinpachi: SO YOU ENDED UP USING THE BEAR?!

HOW DID YOU GET THE BEAR TO BE SO OBDIENT!? THAT”S IMPOSSIBLE!

Kagura: Ah I see.

Shinpachi: WHAT THE HELL?! WHY’S THE BEAR TRAINING TOO?!

AND NOW YOU’RE IN A GYM?! AND WHERE DID THAT GYM COACH COME FROM?!

WHERE DID THE GYM COME FROM ANYWAY!?! GO BACK TO THE MOUNTAINS!!

Kagura: How is this new method!

Shinpachi: IMPOSSIBLE!! HOW CAN YOU EVEN CONSIDER THAT TRAINING?!

Tae: Hehehe…

I thought you kids were acting a bit strange lately…but I think I understand now.

008

Tae: Just as I thought Shin-chan. You truly are the child of a samurai.

Shinpachi: S—Sister!!

Tae: If you were having problems like that, you should have told me sooner!

Shinpachi: I—I’m sorry. It was supposed to be secret training…

Tae: If you try to rely on useless adults your training will reap no benefit. There is only one way to become stronger…

And that is to ideally train under a Samurai of a high rank. Just leave it to me!

Listen closely.
Whether it’s strength or beauty you seek, they are in fact the same thing.

In essence a wish to ‘change oneself.’

Going on diets, for example is a training in which one limits their dietary intake to become skinner. Do you understand?

This is because they’ve imagined their ideal thinner body.

And it is this imagined image of themselves that gives them the necessary strength to chase after their desire.

Without a goal, people find it hard not to stray off of the path of self improvement.

However with a goal, someone can run down the path at full speed, and achieve anything.

009

Tae: So let’s get stronger together.

Try drawing out what it is you hope to gain by seeking strength in your mind.

When you’ve done that, it will be much easier to keep your goal in mind than simply training for the sake of it.

Tae: Now then, to help you in your training, I’ll give you this paper, and you draw out what it is you hope to gain.

You may not be able to see it clearly, but that shouldn’t stop you from drawing what you most desire.

Shinpachi: I see! It seems a bit girly, but I guess it wouldn’t hurt to try.

Kagura: I am thinking. However it is difficult to picture….

(Gintoki’s sign- I want straight hair.)

Shinpachi: YOU STAY OUT OF THIS! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO DRAW SOMETHING TO DO WITH BECOMING STRONGER IDIOT!

Kagura: I am finished.

Shinpachi: SHE’S WAY OFF TOO!!!

(Kagura’s picture- Claws are cool. Fangs are awesome.)


Shinpachi: WHY THE HECK IS IT THAT BEAR AGAIN!? ARE YOU IN SOME KIND OF BEAR DELIRIUM?!

MORE OVER WHY’S HE BLEEDING FROM THE MOUTH?! DID YOU BEAT YOUR INSTRUCTOR?! WASN’T HE HELPING YOU!?

Kagura: Boss Lady. What do you think?

Tae: Hmm..I’d say that bear doesn’t look all that reliable right now, you should try looking for someone else.

Shinpachi: THAT’S YOUR ISSUE WITH THIS?!

010

Tae: You know, It’s not like you have to go with instant gratification when drawing your goal.

How about I join in? It has to be realistic, but at the same time something that you can work towards.

This is something I’ve been trying to achieve for a while now.

(Sfx- kaki kaki *scribble scribble*)

Shinpachi: HOW RELIABLE IS SOMETHING THAT CAN FLY AWAY FROM IT’S PROBLEMS?!

WHAT’S UP WITH THAT SISTER?! YOUR GOAL IS TO EVOLVE INTO SOMETHING ELSE COMPLETELY ISN’T IT?!

MOREOVER YOU ONLY DREW LIKE TWO LINES ON THE PAPER AND CAME UP WITH THAT?! Huh….what the….

WAAAAIIIIIT!! WHY IS THE GYM COACH THERE TOO?!

Tae: He’s afraid of bears, so I came from the heavens and saved him.

Shinpachi: WHY’S SUCH A BUFF GUY GOT A PROBLEM LIKE THAT?!

Hasegawa: Well well.

Art class huh? Let me give it a shot.

I’ve been trying to get stronger my whole life.
Shinpachi: Hasegawa-san!!

011

Hasegawa: Leave it to me Pattan, milady.

Shinpachi: WHAT THE HELL DID YOU COME HERE FOR?! TO SHOW US THAT CREEPY DRAWING?! WHAT IS IT?!

Hasegawa: It’s a game from a famous director.

Sure I’m completely powerless, but there are people with life experiences worse than mine that have found their way into the light.

(TN- I think this may be a mild FLCL reference….check out episode 2.)

Shinpachi: WE DON’T NEED THAT SORT OF LIGHT! WHERE ARE YOU LEADING US?! THE PITS OF HELL? EVERYTHING IS WRONG WITH YOUR PICTURE!!

Hasegawa: We have to find ourselves at the bottom before we can get to the top.

Listen up, this world is huge. Rather than waste time hunkering over one target, you need to do the exact opposite.

What I’m saying is sometimes you have to get down and dirty to get clean.

Time after time things won’t go well, and you have to learn from that.

However it’s not so bad as there are plenty of guys who will end up in the same pitfall as yourself.

Once you’ve been burned by happiness, it’s only downhill from there until you’re broke most of the time.

Shinpachi: I think you’re giving us a crash course in how NOT to get stronger there. Or are you just lonely in the world of losers and want some company?!

Hasegawa: In the end, effort doesn’t get you a damn thing. No one really cares.

That’s right, those guys don’t care about how strong you are.

Only the quick witted will prevail. While guys like us who work hard and try to make ends meet will never be able to stand up to them.

Life is training. Grueling, frustrating, training. And most of the time you don’t gain anything for your troubles. You guys need to focus on the real problem.

Listen up. Whether you start training tomorrow or today, it doesn’t make a bit of difference.

Fact is, you’ve been training ever since you fell out of your mom.

012

Hasegawa: You’ve been bred to prepare for any wall that may come your way. Training now is pointless.

Every little thing you do each and every day is training for the monumental moments that may come.

Did you know about this you guys?

At one place at one time there was a extremely pure man, and an extremely dirty one.

Whenever the extremely pure man would need to use the bathroom, he’d always sit down before letting his stream go.

This man didn’t want to get any of his ‘business’ on the floor.

The dirty man however could care less and stood up.

And because he was standing his spray ended up everywhere.

(TN- Dude, Sorachi, which are you?)

Hasegawa: Doesn’t seem like much does it?

Nobody would bother stopping them.

However over years and years of doing something like this, eventually something momentous happened.

The man who loved purities did as he always had… and sat.

And his feet..

Became slim and dainty..

The dirty man however….his feet

As he became older, became wide and chubby.

The standing man and the sitting man, they both did things their way however one gained lower body strength from his ordeals…why the other…

Ended up losing his leg strength as time passed. Not a big deal at first right? But in the end…

013

Hasegawa: When the two met on the battle field….the fight was decided before it started.

I think you’ll know these men as Tokugawa Ieyasu and Ishida Mitsunari…

Shinpachi: STOP LYINNNNNNG!!!

WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT HOW IEYASU AND MITSUNARI USED THE BATHROOM!?

WASN’T THERE SOMETHING MORE IMPORTANT GOING ON?! LIKE I DUNNO A WAR?!?!?

Hasegawa: The extended battle at Sekigahara, was in fact decided by a battle of PK after all.

Shinpachi: WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?! MOREOVER DON’T BRING UP PK!!

Hasegawa: Well because of that I stand up so I can be more like Ieyasu. I’m not dirty or anything, I just like having my leg strength….although sometimes the stream gets away from me…

Shinpachi: OF COURSE IT DOES!

Hasegawa: Now you understand though, training isn’t something you take on once you decide on it. In fact let me tell you something about an even more fearsome man.

Shinpachi: NO! YOU’RE GOING TO GO ON AND ON ABOUT SOMETHING POINTLESS AREN’T YOU?!

Hasegawa: It’s just a bit of a detour, I bet you didn’t know how Ieyasu liked to train for battle. He asked for advice from his consort.

Shinpachi: What kind of consort is that?!

Ieyasu was deeply entranced with Edo’s Bakfu and it’s works…so he called it’s governor Tenkai.

However it was unfaithful to him, especially after he lost his favor during the Honnouji incident when Hideyoshi came into power.

014

Hasegawa: His instructor was….

Of course Akechi Mitsuhide.

Shinpachi: HIM AGAIN?!

I DON’T WANT TO HEAR RUMORS!!

MORE LIKE WHAT’S UP WITH THIS GUY APPEARING IN EVERYONE’S LESSONS?!

IS THIS SOME SORT OF CURSE OF THE EVIL INSTRUCTOR OR SOMETHING?!

Katsura: Now now.

If you keep yelling you will lose your voice.

You must listen politely to people’s words.

This is the most brilliant path for the most brilliant samurai.

Shinpachi: Katsura-san!!

Your city!! Madao’s was burned to the ground, and yours continues that depressing motif with rain!!!

015

Katsura: Leader, Shinpachi-dono. I will teach you how to travel down the path of samuraidom.

I will show you just how Gintoki and I became the samurai we are now.

Our gift to you would be to initiate you into the way of the samurai through knowledge.

This is what is the most essential thing to becoming a truly powerful warrior.

Shinpachi: Well, Gin-san and everyone were telling us how to train..
Katsura: Hmm…

Gintoki: Hey Zura…

Don’t you go giving them some dangerous stuff to do, they’re still…

Katsura: I believe they can do it.

Or I should say they must if it’s really important to them to become stronger.

If they want to remain by your side in all of your battles.

With that, I ask you, are you ready to take on harsh training and not give up?

To experience loneliness like you’ve never seen before?

I see, those are good eyes.

016

Katsura: Well first…

You must put these turtle shells on your backs.

They’re heavy but very necessary.

(Sfx- zushitsu zushitsu *pat pat*)

Katsura: Now, with those heavy turtle shells on your back, we can start with the training.

This rock with ‘Katsura’ written on it will be your target.

I will go outside and place it with scenery where it will blend in. Your job is to find it without picking up other rocks by mistake.

If you can get this rock here without picking up another one to see what it says…then you will get dinner.

Otherwise you won’t be eating tonight. I of course will make it harder for you to find this ‘Katsura’ rock.

By writing characters that look like it, but aren’t the same. Good luck! Ahahahahah…

All right let’s…

Guwaaaah!!

(Sfx- Dogooooo *Thowok!!*)

017

Katsura: What was that for? I wanted to help you train…

This is the perfect method in helping you see better.

What’s wrong? Too difficult?

Shinpachi: You’re the one who’s difficult!!

Katsura: How strange, I would have thought this method would work.

What’s up with you anyway? Have you trained with Master Roushi before? If so tell me.

Gintoki: Hey Zura…

(Sfx- pan *Smack!*)

Gintoki: You’re WAY off moron.

Katsura: Really? How so?

Gintoki: It’s just wrong idiot. You’ve been looking at Dragon Boss too much haven’t you?!

Shinpachi: So you will help us then?

Gin-san I knew you’d come through! You’ve thought of a way for us to get stronger haven’t you?

Gintoki: Man cut me some slack! You’re all wrong about me helping you.

But I did get you two guys that will do it for me. But you can only have one of them. So choose wisely.

Shinpachi: HEYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

018

Shinpachi: KNOCK IT OFF ALL OF YOU!! FINE DON’T HELP IF YOU DON’T WAN TO!!

MOREOVER WHO ARE THOSE PEOPLE, AND WHY DO THEY KEEP SHOWING UP?!

Gintoki: Here, I’ll even right ‘Gin’ on his forehead so you can imagine it’s me teaching you.

Shinpachi: EXCEPT IT WON’T BE YOU DOING ANYTHING!

Instructor: Now watch my back closely kids, I’ll be training you with all of my might.

Shinpachi: WHY?! WHAT KINDS OF THINGS WILL YOU HAVE US DOING?!

Gintoki: Besides, This weird instructor with ‘Gin’ written on his head will make a much more exciting training regimen.

Shinpachi: HE’S JUST WEIRD THOUGH!!

Gintoki: Use the letters to get to know him.

Shinpachi: I CAN’T GET OVER THAT FACE!!

FORGET IT THEN!!!

Kagura: If you will not help we will do it ourselves!!

(Sfx- Buun *Fwisssh*)

(Sfx- Katsha *craaash*)

Shinpachi: We’ll find our own way to get stronger then! Thanks for nothing!

Kagura: Watch close! We will surprise you! We will become really strong!

019

Gintoki: That’s….

Good enough.

Katsura: In order for them to become stronger, they must seek their own path…

Gintoki: Yeah, they’ve got to exceed their own expectations first.

Tae: It’s because they know their own strengths after all.

Hasegawa: They know we'll always be watching over them.

Instructor: That’s right.

For we are…

{Your instructors…}

{For whatever life holds in store..}

(Side text- The future is in your hands...)

GINTAMA LESSON 229…………….END.