Gintama 230

With the Gintama anime's fate decided for April 2009, I guess these translations will be more important than ever, since we have no idea what will be animated before then. I'll try not to let you guys down~

(Side text- Complications between man and woman…)

Phone: I see, Are you healthy?

I hope you aren’t working too hard…

Hasegawa: …Well…uh…

GINTAMA

Hasegawa: I’m doing fine. I saved up some money from my last job.

I don’t need you to worry about me, life’s treating me just fine.

Phone: Are you sure? If anything is troubling you I’ll gladly listen…

Hasegawa: I’m telling you it’s good. I’ve got a nice place to stay, and some nice clothes. Who could ask for more?

Phone: Really...would you like me to come there and help you clean up?

Hasegawa: NOOOO! I don’t need anyone to clean up after me!!

Phone: I’m sure since it’s you, you have trash littered around your room..

Hasegawa: NOOO!! I’ve got it under control!!

Phone: What’s wrong? Would it be a problem if I came to see you?

Hasegawa: I---It’s not like that! It’s a great place! Everything’s in working order!!

Phone: Then I will look forward to visiting you. See you then.

Hasegawa: Waaait!! Wai---

(Sfx- Ton ton *tap tap*)

002

Gintoki: Hey man, that was mean of you.

‘Let me come by and clean up~’

Sounds like you’ve got yourself quite the woman.

Don’t you think it’s about time you got yourself together?
And started living with her again.

Especially….

Since you’ve got yourself quite the crib.

003

(Side text- A real home’s got three floors!)

GINTAMA
Lesson 230: You gotta get up and make your own crib.
SORACHI HIDEAKI

Hasegawa: I’m drowning in debt.

I got kicked out of my last place two weeks ago.

Lately I’ve been really stretching myself…

Turning everywhere I could lay my head into a place to live.

However I can’t possibly go on living like this, going from place to place.

I gotta find a way to fight back against bills and my debt, or else I’m never going to live peacefully again.

But now my name has been blacklisted, and those guys don’t play games.

As long as I’m penniless as I am, there’s no way that I’ll find anywhere to live for long.

Yeah..

As far as Kabuki-chou is concerned…I’m screwed.

004

Hasegawa: With no place to live, I’m taking things one day at a time…

That’s..

This kind of….this is…

(Box: Oranges)

Gintoki: It’s not THAT bad, I mean you’re doing allright…
You’ve got a dog, a radio, and a cardboard box! Think of them as your three sacred treasures, and you can live anywhere!

This may even be your life’s work.

Hasegawa: Life’s working all right, but AGAINST me.

Gintoki: See in Final Fantasy you have to go through a couple of job changes before you can get to the ultimate one of ‘Onion Knight.’ Your situation’s the same.

Hasegawa: Why are you suddenly changing the flow of this conversation? Have you ever heard of a knight, onion or otherwise living in a cardboard box?

Gintoki: Well you at least SMELL like onions.

Hasegawa: Oooh, critical hit.

PLEASE!! GIVE MY HOME A FULL RESTORE!!

I DON’T WANT A SUPER POTION FOR MY CARDBOARD BOX BUT A FULL RESTORE!!

Hasegawa: What should I do?! If Hatsu sees me like this, she’s never going to let me live it down!!

Gintoki: Isn’t this ‘reaping what you sow’?

Hasegawa: Even if it’s just for one weekend, can’t I get myself some nice clothes and a decent house to live in?!

I can’t TAKE it anymore Gin-san!! You have to help me escape from the Black list!!

Hell!! Instead of calling it a ‘black list’ they should just call it a ‘Death Note’! It’s the same thing in the end!!

Gintoki: Well if it’ll make you feel any better, I’ll write your name in my death note.

Hasegawa: WAIT!!! WAAAAAAAIT!!

005

(Signs- Ooedo Loans. Below- Fudou house.)

Realtor: Hasegawa Taizou, 38 years old. Occupation, Onion Knight.

Hmmmm…
Pardon, but I have to ask…what is it that you do as an Onion knight?

I remember hearing something about your kind long ago, but I have forgotten.

Hasegawa: Huh? Well…um…..

I uh, deal with their stench?

Realtor: Well then….could I suggest to you a wine cellar? You would like that yes?

Hasegawa: Well I guess that wouldn’t be a problem….

Realtor: Or, how about a one room Television flat? You execs like that kind of thing right?

Hasegawa: Wha-?!

Realtor: Or are you not an executive? Well…let me guess…a musician…

Hmm? I was just kidding around. Weren’t you able to tell? Or did you really believe I was serious?

Hasegawa: Don’t kid! I really thought you were being genuine! Hahah…

Realtor: Geez, If only granny were still alive.

I think if she were, she would have LOVED to have a guy like you around the house…but she died eight years ago….

Hasegawa: Um…something tells me I really don’t want to hear this…

006

Old lady: Hey gramps! You won’t be able to get rid of me THAT easily! So knock it off!!

Realtor: Shut your mouth fossil! I’m working now! Talk again and I’ll backhand you!

(Handwritten- Go and die you stupid dinosaur!)

Realtor: Well let’s get started….I’ll show you around.

(Sfx- Gobon *click.*)

Hasegawa: Uh…Yeah…

Hey…

Are you sure the houses we’re about to go look at will be…yanno LIVEABLE?

I know I’m on the Blacklist, but is this old guy the only one who would help me?

Gintoki: They gave that old guy the title of Kabuki-cho’s Messiah.

Old man Fudou Sanzou.

There are plenty of bums like you out there, whether you know it or not.

Those who are chased by the black list, and those who are caught by it.

Guys who live in constant fear of their enemies.

But one thing those guys have in common is that they are trying to find a place to hide out.

That’s where the Fudou house comes in. No matter what kind of punk you are, the messiah will take you in and help you out. That’s just how Fudou-san is.

007

Gintoki: As long as you’re alive, you need a place to live….ain’t that the truth?

(Handwritten- Excuse me, but can I interest you in some extremely useful land?)

Hasegawa: Well he does seem like a shrewd one, I’ll give the old man that much credit.

I am looking forward to having a better place to live…

But I can’t help but feel a little anxious.

Fudou: Hasegawa-san,

Just what kind of dwelling were you hoping to receive through my services?

Hasegawa: Uh….

Well first off I guess it would have to be on the cheap side, fancy, but not too much you know?

Gintoki: See there’s your problem. Don’t you think as an Onion knight, that you should aim a bit higher?

With your low aim, you’ll be lucky to get a place that can stand up to the rainy season.

Hasegawa: Well I guess I could do it for Hatsu…

Gintoki: Let’s try for a one level apartment.

(TN- Gintoki says an 1LDK, which is a 1 bedroom, living, dining, kitchen area.)

Fundou: A One level?

???: Yeah a one man one level apartment should do the trick.

Fundou: Ah…I see…A one man apartment…A 1WGTM would be good…

Haesegawa: Wha…what did you just say?

(TN- I have NO idea what a 1WGTM is though.)

Fundou: Or a On—One 3p would be good…

Hasegawa: But wouldn’t that be for THREE people?

Fundou: Well…I can’t say that I’ll be able to find something exactly as you want it, but follow me and we’ll at least give this a try.

008

Fundou: Ah-hem. I think that we may have found the house of your dreams.

Hasegawa: I’M ALREADY IN THE DOGHOUSE!!

WHY ARE YOU DOIN THIS TO ME?! DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT A ONE LEVEL APARTMENT IS?!

Fundou: I know I know Hasegawa-san, but you have to understand, it’s not dirty but quaint.

Hasegawa: MY FOOT!!

Gintoki: Wait up a second Fundou-san. Cut him some slack. He doesn’t want this place permanently, just for a day or two.

Fundou: Well then think of this.

After coming back from a long journey….

(Handwritten- Aahh…As I thought 1LDK’s are the best~)

Hasegawa: QUIT YOUR LYING! THAT DOESN’T LOOK LIKE A ONE LEVEL APARTMENT AT ALL!!

Fundou: Sorry about that, to be honest, that’s the one level apartment I live in.

Hasegawa: GO BACK TO YOUR ONE LEVEL THEN! GO THERE AND STAY THERE!

Fundou: Would you like me to show you another place then?

009

Gintoki: To be straight up with you, it doesn’t even have to be a one level…

Just cheap. Dirt cheap.

Fundou: Oh, well if that’s the case…how about that one?


Gintoki&Hasegawa: Hmm?

Fundou: Would that be better?

Hasegawa: ARE YOU HARD OF HEARING?!

Fundou: This is actually one of my old properties. It’s in a top class of all its own.

(Sfx- uiin *veeeen*)

Hasegawa: I’m asking you, do you need your hearing aid?

Fundou: This one always seems to be the most popular out of all the houses I show people. Who would turn down a chance to be this close to the sky!?

And with only 3 hundred thousand for the rent, you’d have to be crazier than this offer to turn it down.

Gintoki: This opportunity stinks worse than our onion knight here.

Fundou: Fine fine, how about 3 thousand yen for rent?

Hasegawa: WHAAAAAT?!

Gintoki: I’d like a room for 3 thousand yen too please.

Hasegawa: HOLY CRAP!! There’s GOT to be a catch with this!! Tell me old man, what’s wrong with this place that you’re going so low?!
010

Fudou: All right, I’ll be honest with you guys. The last guests that stayed here suddenly ran off on me.

They didn’t clean up after themselves or anything! And it would be quite the pain to do it myself, so if you’re willing to clean you can have it for 3 thousand.

Hasegawa: Really?! You’d let us have this place if we just clean it up?!

Something’s wrong with this! Before we talk any more about it, I want to see what I’m getting into!!

Hasegawa: I’m sure even Hatsu will love this!

Fudou: I see…well that’s just grand.

(Sfx- Gachaaaa *Creeeek*)

Fudou: Well, as I said it’s a bit dirty….but it’s yours.

Please take good care of the place.

(On window- NOBORU)

Hasegawa: OH HELLLLLLLLL NO!!!

(TN- Hasegawa looks awesome here…..for once….maybe it’s because he looks like Gendou Ikari?.....or MORE like Gendou Ikari?)

(Sfx- Gotsu *Thwock*)

Hasegawa: You…what the hell!!

This is a perfect place all right….FOR A MURDER!!

You want me to dispose of the evidence or something?!?

ARE YOU NUTS?! OF COURSE I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE YOUR RESPONSIBILITY!!

Gintoki: This is one nice crib man. And I’m sure the view at night is to DIE for.

Hasegawa: WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU!?! HAVE A LOOK AROUND! SOMEONE ALREADY DIED!!

012

Gintoki: What’s your big issue huh? What’s strange about this place? You make it sound like a murder scene is a bad thing.

Hasegawa: IT IS!! With all of this blood here, I’m almost half expecting Conan to hop out and start looking for clues dammit!!

(TN- Conan…as in…Detective Conan. Odd that Sorachi didn’t just go with Neuro, since it is in Jump and all….)

Gintoki: Oh so this is BLOOD! Boy You really are a sharp one.

Hasegawa: THIS PLACE IS CREEPY AND YOU KNOW IT!

Fudou: Hasegawa-san please calm yourself.

Isn’t it exciting to live in a place that looks like a murder scene out of a drama?

This is probably what was left from a fishing trip. You know how those fish flop around when they’re being gutted.

Hasegawa: WHAT FISH FLOPS AROUND ENOUGH TO CAUSE THIS?!

I’D LIKE TO SEE A FISH SMART ENOUGH TO WRITE A DYING MESSAGE!!

Gintoki: It’s not a dying message.

How do you know it wasn’t somebody trying to practice writing his name? I say that we should applaud Noboru’s efforts, rather than denounce him.

Hasegawa: YOU CALL THIS ART?

Gintoki: Hey, it’s not so bad.

Hasegawa: What part?

Gintoki: We’re all gonna die someday right?

Hasegawa: THAT’S IT?! IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU’RE NOT EVEN TRYING ANYMORE!! WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE GIFT OF LIFE?! THIS ROOM JUST MOCKS IT!!

013

Gintoki: Quit staring into the past, and face what’s truly important. The here and now.
Hasegawa: I’D DO THAT IF THE BLOOD OF THE PAST WEREN’T HERE!!

Fudou: Hasegawa-san, listen to me. Rooms and Women are the same.

At first meeting, they’re more than willing to put up with the stupid things that men do when they’re in middle school. Let this room embrace and forgive you.

Hasegawa: WHAT ARE YOU GOING ON ABOUT?!

Gintoki: Listen, just go on and take the room already will ya?

You know in your heart of hearts you won’t do better than this.

Think of it as when you first meet your girl. The two of you are willing to put everything into making it work right?

Rooms are the same way.

A GOOD ROOM REQUIRES EFFORT FROM BOTH SIDES AT THE VERY BEGINNING!! FORGIVE AND FORGET!!

Hasegawa: HAVE YOU SEEN THIS ROOM?! LOOK AROUND!!

Gintoki: DON’T LET APPERANCES FOOL YOU! IF YOU CAN GET THROUGH THE BEGINNING, THE REST IS EASY!!!

Fudou: M—My word…

(Sfx- pota *drip*)

Fudou: The Fudo house hasn’t seen something this moving in the 50 years of it’s existence…..could it be….

Could it be you love to this extent?

You can really embrace it even with these problems at the outset?

Hasegawa: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY CRYING BECAUSE OF THIS WHOLE STORY?!

014

Fudou: You are correct sir, this is a fine room. I can't understand why everyone would run off.

Just because a little murder or two was committed here....

Hasegawa: THAT'S THE MAIN PROBLEM WITH IT!! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?!

Gintoki: Just put a little bit of effort into it, and like magic it'll become a place worth bragging about.

Fudou: I can't hide it any longer! I’ll tell you the truth!

At one time there were actually seven people in this room!

One after another, one person would enter and then leave in a bodybag.

Hasegawa: CAN YOU REALLY SLEEP AT NIGHT KNOWING ALL OF THIS?! YOU MONEY LOVING TOAD?!

Fudou: I’m sorry I shouldn’t have hidden it from you.

I just thought if you knew the truth you’d think this room was cursed and then loath me for bringing you here.

People and rooms rely on the first impression.

After that’s gone, no matter how much you clean it up it won’t make a difference.

An empty room is nothing more than a hole in the wall.

Can I call myself a Messiah if I can’t even sell this one room?

015

Fudou: I simply…

Want to change these holes in the walls into rooms that create happiness.

I’m so glad…

That you two really want to take this room…

(Sfx- chari *jingle*)

Fudou: Sir, I want you to take this room.

You have complete freedom, so shape this place as you see fit.

If it’s you…

Certainly…

016

Gintoki: This guy needs this room more than I do.

As long as you have a place to stay, happiness can find it's way here.

Hasegawa: No, you’re the one who can ultimately make this room rise to it’s true potential.

Take it and be happy.

(Sfx- charin *jingle*)

Fudou: Boss….go ahead please.

(Sfx- Charin *jingle*)

Gintoki: Why don’t you give it a try.

(Sfx- Charin *jingle*)

Hasegawa: After hearing what you said earlier, I can’t take these.

(Sfx- Charin *jingle*)

017

(Sfx- Kashaaaaaaaaa *Craaaaaaash*)

Gintoki: Quit being so stubborn!! Take it!!

Fudou: As if I want this creepy room any longer! It’s your problem now so take it!!

Hasegawa: You were the one who talked about not worrying about the past, so take your own advice!!

Gintoki: I was taking about you idiot! Get your head out the past and take responsibility for now!!

(Sfx- Kugaaaa *dooosh!*)

???: I’m not repeating myself!!

???: I don’t care! Take it I said!!

Fudou: I told you I DON’T WANT IT!!

(Sfx- Gururururu *grrrrwwwllll*)

(Sfx- Wan wan wan wan wan wan! *Bark bark bark bark bark bark!*)

018

(Sfx- Zazazazaza *Ssshhfssssss*)

(Sfx- Zazazazaa *Sshssfssssht*)

{-ILL….}

{KILL …}

{KILL}

{KILL}

{KILL}

{KILL}

(Sfx- Waaaaaah!!)

(Sfx- Gyaaaaahhh!)

{KILL}

{KILL}

{KILL}

{KILL}

{KILL}

(Sfx- NGHAAAAAAAAAAAA!)

019

Hatsu: It really is a splendid apartment..

He must have been saving up for a while to afford this…

Hee hee…he went as far as not writing a return address when sending this…he must really want to surprise me with his nice house…hee hee…

Good afternoon~ I’ve come to clean up---

(On window- STUPID)

Hatsu: GYAAAAAAAAH!!!!

(Side text- Sometimes it’s better to stay put and do your own research…)

GINTAMA LESSON 230…….END.