Gintama 232

....Late raws for the lose.

Shogun: I’m interested…

In seeing his skill with topknots.

{Tha---that’s….}

{It can’t beeeeeee!!}

(Side text- SORACHI HIDEAKI)

{Th---}

{The Shogunnnnn!!!?!}

GINTAMA
Lesson 232: Heavenly being’s superiors are the ones who created topknots.

(Side text- Our Shogun has finally returned!!)

{How could we forget that face with it’s cold yet elegant stare!!}

{Although his d**k leaves a lot to be desired!!}

{Why him hereeeeee!!}

{Why would the shogun come to a run down shack like this one!?!}

Matsudaira: You want to get your hair cut here?

You don’t wanna go to the cabaret club?

{You’d think he’d learn his lesson not to hang out with old man Matsudaira!! The Sugun needs a new role model doesn’t he?!}

(Sfx- sutsu *sliiip*)

Shogun: Go on ahead without me. I will return this to the owner.

I will follow you once I am done here.

003

Shogun: It is not my aim to wander about in the neighborhood doing this and that.

I am trying to remain ingonito so that the people of edo do not know I am here.

It would disrupt the balance if the people above me and below me should know that I am in a place like this, so let’s keep it low key.

{Nononono!! Go home!!!}

{There’s no way that we’d be able to give the Shogun a hair cut without our heads rolling!! Go home!! I’m begging you!!}

Matsudaira: Huh? Really? You’re gonna get your hair cut?

Well go on and do what ever you want I guess….i’m gonna go to the club, and pick you up on my way back.

{Waaaaait!! Take him with you!! The Shogun is your responsibility!! Although taking him to a cabaret club isn’t exactly responsible anyway….!!}

Matsudaira: Well make sure no one gets a good look at your face, or it would bee bad for you…

{Nooooo!! Take him with you! Come back here and drag him with you old man!!}

Matsudaira: And now this old man is gonna have some fun.

{Bring your sorry ass back here you perverted dinosaur!!}

004

(Sfx- Gauuu)

Shogun: Well then…I’ll leave it to you.

{Wh---wha---what will we do?!}

{How do we get out of this one…..?}

{Do we really have to….}

{Cut the shogun’s haaaaaaaaair?!}

{Nonononononono!!! NO WAY IN HELLLLL!!!}

(TN- Why does Sorachi INSIST on writing ‘muri’ (impossible) so much?!)

{Quit screwing around Shogun-sama!!! This place doesn’t have a suicide wish!!}

005
Shinpachi: What’ll we do Gin-san?! What CAN we do?!

Gintoki: WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME?! I’M SORRY BUT THE GIN-SAN YOU EXPECT ANSWERS FROM HAS DIED!! THE MAN YOU SEE IN FRONT OF YOU IS TOO BUSY CRYING TO BE OF ANY USE!!

I told you idiots lets get the hell out of here but noooooo!!

What the hell are we going to do?! If we screw this up, it’s a life and death situation---

{The three of us will get the perfect haircut}

{Starting with everything from the neck up!!}

Shinpachi: Blooooooooorhghhhh!!

(Sfx- Bicha bicha *drrippp driiiip*)

Gintoki: Barf?!

Shinpachi: Sorry, I looked at the panel above and freaked out!! I can’t do this!!

Gintoki: Why the hell are you giving up alone?! I refuse to go down by myself!!

Kagura: You two are pathetic. The Shogun does not know it is us. Therefore we just have to do it.

I will begin.

W—Welcome customer~

Gintoki: Ah There she goes!! As expected of her!

Kagura: How may we serve you today?

006

Kagura: How about those two blocks on---

Bloooorghhhhhh!!

(Sfx- bicha bicha *driiip driiiip*)

Guys: GYAAAAAAH!!

(TN- That’s Kagura for ya, she EARNED that ‘first jump heroine to throw up award.’)
Gintoki: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IDIOT?!

(Sfx- pan *Slap*)

Kagura: I could not help it! The scent of Shinpachi’s own over powered me!

Gintoki: This is no time to develop a barf complex!! If it gets on the Shogun what’ll we do then?!

Shinpachi: Well he looks fine at least, nothing got on him…..

What the…it looks like there’s a mark on his forehead…..a fishcake spiral?

(TN- Fishcake spiral….Or…a Naruto. Yes that IS where a certain ninja got his name.)

Kagura: Ah yes. I did have some ramen earlier. At least that was saved.

Gintoki: IS THIS THE TIME TO BE WORRIED ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!

Shinpachi: Oh crap! He’s looking into a mirror!!

Gintoki: We’ve got to stop him!!

Hey, who was eating ramen?! There’s a fishcake spiral on the mirror!

Shinpachi: Ah! That was me! I’m sorry!

(Sfx- Kyuuutsu *squeesh*)

Gintoki: You idiot! I’ve told you too many times that the customers will notice this kind of thing! If I have to say it again I’ll kill you dammit!

007

Gintoki: Clean the mirror!

Shinpachi: Yes sir!

Gintoki: I’m sorry about that sir~ How about I wash your face before we begin?

It’s a hot towel~ let us show you just how sorry we are by washing that smooth skin of yours~

(Sfx- Goshii goshii *ruubb rubbb*)

Gintoki: Lately guys that are pretty young and hansome have been coming in, they’re a lot like you. Man, they look like rock stars nowadays….

So then, what would you like today?

Shogun: I would like it if you could fix up my topknot.

Gintoki: Uh yes sir!

How about we get started right on that, after making sure your face is nice and clean?

(Sfx- Goshi goshi goshi goshi *ruuub ruuub ruuub ruuub*)

Shogun: Yes. Of course.

(Handwritten- What the hell?)

(Sfx- Gashaaa *clinck*)

Gintoki: O---okay then! It’s nice and clean! Now don’t open your eyes please!

008

Gintoki: Holy crap! Both of his eyes are covered by fishcake spirals!!!

Who the heck was using this towel to eat ramen anyway?!

(Sfx- Hiso hiso *Whisper whisper*)

Shinpachi: I have no idea, probably it was the owner or something…where there’s one there’s two right?

Gintoki: Well what will we do then?! The Shogun’s bound to open his eyes eventually!! And if he does that we’re doomed!!

Shinpachi: Well then we have to figure out a way to get that off of his face then don’t we?!

Gintoki: How then?! His face is so smooth that getting those off will be a problem….

Kagura: It is smooth….Then we can not use fingers. They are on his eyes after all.

Why not use a razor. We can peel them until they fall then.

Shinpachi: Wait! That’s dangerous!

Kagura: It worked. It is working.

Look, it’s coming off.

Oooh...

Just one more. We will be finished soon

Carefully...

Now the other.

Shinpachi: Do it carefully! We don’t want it to pierce through.

009

(Sfx- Boto *tunk*)

(Sfx- Pasaaa *wsssh*)

Gintoki: Huh….?

Wha---Huh? What’s this?

Shinpachi: Wait---wait a minute….huh? You’re kidding.

Gi---Gin-san…tell me that isn’t what I think it is…

That couldn’t be the Shogun’s top---

010

(Sfx- goobaaaatsu *Snaaaatch*)

(Sfx- foooooooo *fliiiiiing!*)

Gintoki: You iddddjuuuuuuuuuut!!! I told you to clean properly!!!

Why the hell is there Golden retriever crap in my store?!

Shinpachi: NOOOOOO That’s not it!!!

That was the Shogun’s topknot!! There’s no way I could possibly mistake that!! Even if I were blind and in the dark I’d be able to tell exactly what that is!!!

Gintoki: NO I’m telling you that its Golden Retriever crap! There couldn’t be any other explanation for that small black thing!!!

Shinpachi: WHERE’S THE RETREVER THEN?!

W---WE’RE DOOOOOOOMED!!

We got the fishcake spirals off, but now he’s missing his topknot!!

What will we dooooo?! We’re dooooomed!!!

011

Gintoki: Ca---Calm down Shinpachi!!

We’ll just tell the Shogun that we helped him remove that Golden Retreiver Crap from his head!! After all the samurai is what makes the samurai!! Not what’s on his head!!

Shinpachi: YOU’RE THE ONE WHO KEEPS CALLING IT CRAP!! What Samurai would buy that anyway?!

Gintoki: It’s gonna be fine!! Absolutely fine!! We’ll just cover what’s showing with the rest!!

He looks like he has enough hair to make another topknot!!

I- I’m really sorry sir! There’s been a little mishap, but we’ll fix it right away!

(Sfx- Bungiggiiii~ *streeeeech*)

(Sfx- Gyuuun *grraaab*)

Shinpachi: You’re overestimating how much hair is left on his head!! Don’t try and attempt the impossible!!

Gintoki: It’s fine I’m telling you! See it’s stretching!!

(Sfx- Gishishi *grriiiinddd*)

Shinpachi: STOP IT!!! IT’S STRETCHING OUT OF SHAPE!!

Gin-saaaan! The Shogun’s eyes are tearing up!! I think he’s at his limit!!

(Sfx- Mishiii- *griiiiind*)

(Sfx- Mekiii *throooob*)

Shinpachi: I’m begging you!!! Stop it!!!

Gintoki: Hey look! It’s working!!

Just a bit more and I’ll be able to make a brand new topknot!!)

(Sfx- Buru buru *twist twist*)

Shinpachi: There’s no way!! None!!

012

Gintoki: And there we go!

Shinpachi: What the heck is that?! He’s transformed!! His face is barely retaining a human shape anymore!! What is he Freddy cruger?!

(Sfx- Meki meki *throb throb*)

(Sfx- Mishi mishi *grind griiind*)

(Sfx- Gata)

Gintoki: Hah! That was so easy that I think I cracked a smile.

Shinpachi: What’s there to laugh at?! You defaced him!!

Gintoki: Nah he’s okay, I mean look at him, he’s grinning from ear to ear. He loves it!!

Shinpachi: Is he laughing with himself or at himself though?!

(Sfx- Gatatsu *clunkity*)

Shinpachi: I’m sorry sir! We’ll fix it right away!

Gin-san we can’t leave it like this!! If we do our heads’ll roll!!

Gintoki: I’d like to point out that if you guys had done what I said earlier we wouldn’t be in this mess.

Shinpachi: WHATEVER! Just help me find his topknot before it’s too late!!

I think it still might be outside! Quick! If we can get it maybe we can fix this mess!

Kagura: Big trouble Shinpachi! A Golden Retriever has retrieved it!

Shinpachi: WHaaaaaat?!

(Sfx- Zagatsu *tmmmpt*)

013

Kagura: I will retrieve it. You take care of here!!

Shinpachi: Wait a minute Kagura-chan!!

Dammit! What will we do now?!

We’re screwed!!

Gintoki: Hey Shinpachi….

Shinpachi: Gin-san!!

Hey wait! That topknot!! Where did you find it!!

Gintoki: I didn’t find it, I made it.

Shinpachi: Whaat?!

Gintoki: We didn’t have one so decided to whip one up.

Shinpachi: You made it?! That’s awesome! Nice going Gin-san!!

Gintoki: We can use it for now.

(Sfx- Gatan *Plop*)

Shinpachi: It’s perfect Gin-san! Maybe the Shogun won’t notice that we screwed up!!

Wait a sec….

Now that I look at it closely, doesn’t the hair on that topknot look kind of…frayed?

014

Shinpachi: Um…I hate to ask, but where did you get the hair you made this from?

Gintoki: The hair came from over there.

Shinpachi: WHY THAT?!

(TN- …..I can’t decide whether this is win or fail, but Sorachi just move to a seinen mag, for the sake of the children.)

Shinpachi: WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM!? You’d really put something that nasty on the head of the man who runs the country?!

Gintoki: It’s not really a big deal, I mean we’ve all got it. So it’s not like he’s unfamiliar with the stuff…

Shinpachi: WHAT’S UNDER THE BELT SHOULD STAY THERE!!

Gintoki: See look at him! The Shogun thinks this is hilarious! He’s got a great sense of humor doesn’t he?

Shinpachi: I’m telling you that he’s NOT laughing!! Do you hear him chuckling over this?! Quit trying to hide your mistake!!

Gintoki: He does look slightly peeved. But I’ve gotta say he wasn’t that great looking to begin with.

Shinpachi: WHAT’S WITH THAT ATTITUDE?! ARE YOU CALLING HIM UGLY?!

(Sfx- Gatan *Thunk*)

Shinpachi: I’m sorry!! We’ll fix it right away!

Gin-san this isn’t any good! We’ve got to find something else!!

Gintoki: You know, I’ll bet he takes good care of his….

Shinpachi: WHY DOES THE HAIR HAVE TO BE FROM DOW THERE?! THE HAIR ON HIS HEAD WILL DO FINE!!!

(Sfx- Guuu Guuu *snooore snore*)

Gintoki: Won’t he notice?

Shinpachi: Oh I’m soooory!! Is it better if he catches us pulling his pants down then?!

015

Gintoki: Fine, have it your way. Sorry ‘bout this Zura, but I’ve always thought you needed a haircut anyway.

(Sfx- kin *Clip*)

Shinpachi: WHY ARE YOU CUTTING HIS BANGS?!

The hair at his BACK is so much longer and less noticeable isn’t it?!

Now he looks like the victim of some stupid hair style fad!!

Gintoki: It’s fine. Zura should quit hiding his face anyway.

Gintoki: Yeah, this should do the trick just fine shouldn’t it?

Shinpachi: Yeah you’re right…plus Katsura’s got pretty nice hair, so it should go over well with the Shogun.

Gintoki: But I don’t think hair down there is supposed to be nice…

Shinpachi: WRONG LOCATION!!!

Gintoki: Yanno I feel sort of bad for him, I mean…we wait all of our lives for that hair, even naming the first one….shogun.

Shinpachi: WHAT SHOGUN ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!

The Shogun we need to worry about is next to this guy isn’t he?! Why’d you put that there anyway?!

016

Shinpachi: Quick before it dries move it over here!!

I’m too young to have my head roll because of this!!

Kagura: Gin-chan!! Shinpachi!!

Shinpachi: Kagura-chan!!

(Sfx- Ha hah…)

Kagura: I have returned. I have found it as well.

Shinpachi: Really?!

(TN- Kagura looks more mature…and by extension…cuter here…)

Shinpachi: Oh thank you so much! I thought we were really done for there for a while!!

Kagura: I had some difficulty. However I did recover it.

Now it should all be fine yes?

Shinpachi: Hurry up and put it back on the Shogun’s head!!

017

Shinpachi: Huh…? What’s that?
What’s with the mosaic? And the smell?

Kagura: I had to wait a while. It does work does it not?

This Golden Retriever Cr---

(Sfx- Doon *Bam*)

(Sfx- Gogaaaaaaaaa *Thoooooom*)

(Sfx- Gogogogogo *ruuuumble*)

Kondo: Ugh….What was that noise?

Katsura: Sorry about this sirs, but I have grown quite tired of waiting…I can’t become a jump protagonist like this…

(Sfx- Gusu hikku *sniffle sniffle*)

(Sfx- Yoro yoro *wobble wobble*)

Shogun: I didn’t know…

That the people of this town really disliked me to this degree…to dishonor my topknot…

I had no idea…i…I had no idea whatsoever….

019

Shogun: This place needs a reform…

I will reform the barbershops….or else Edo will have no tomorrow…

Kondo: Who was that?

Katsura: No idea, although the poor chap was crying….

Kondo: By the way, this is my first time being here, but I have to say the service sucks.

Katsura: You too? To be truthful I…

Both: GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!

(Sign- Barber shop)

{So for then on in….}
{That Barbershop ended up being completely reformed by the government…}

(Handwritten- Um…I just came back with Abu-san number seven…)

{It was built up to be one of the most impressive establishments in all of edo….many warriors gathered there, just to get a name for themselves.}

{And it went on to become Edo’s number one barbershop once again.}

(Handwriten- Um…Abusan….)

{However the three that had caused this reform disappeared, and no one ever found out about them, even when they were asked…..}

{Somehow, I think that they prefer to remain anonymous….}

(Sign- These employees wanted.)

(Side text- All’s well that ends well.)

GINTAMA LESSON 232…………….END.