Gintama 233

Wow this chapter reminded me of several different things...From Futurama to scary movies like the Ring and whatnot. Looking forward to next week~

(Top Text- The Anime airs every Thursday at 6pm on TV Tokyo! Don’t miss a single exciting minute!!)

GINTAMA

(Side text- Long time no see!!)

Hijikata: Urrgh…

(Sfx- Kiii *creeeek*)

(Sfx- Batan *thunk*)

002

Hijikata: Where am I?

(Sfx- Jaguu *jangle*)

(Sfx- Guii *tug*)

(Sfx- Jarararara *jiiiingle*)

(Sfx- Pin *shink*)

(Sfx- Furi furi *fwish fwish*)

???: So you’ve noticed it?

(Sfx- Gokuntsu *shift*)

003

Okita: Looks like…

Somehow we’ve been caught and imprisoned.

Hijikata: Uugh…

I don’t remember anything, and my head hurts…

What the hell happened? Why the hell are we tied together in a place like this?

Okita: You don’t remember anything Hijikata-san?

During night surveillance, we were suddenly attacked from behind…
Hijikata: And taken captive?

Okita: The moon’s still up it seems…so I guess we haven’t been locked up for long..

Though I have no idea where we are either.

Okita: I’m afraid that this isn’t a place where people come to often, taking a look around. So even if we yell for help no one will hear us.

Looking at this mess, I doubt anyone’s brave enough to come anyway.

So to put it frankly, we’re on our own here for the time being.

004

Hijikata: So we don’t even know who caught us, or how we got here…

And on top of that calling for backup is impossible since no one comes in here.

Oh and let’s not forget we’ve been chained together, so our movements are limited.

Okita: Yep, seems that way.

Hijikata: Bloody hell, Who the hell would go through this trouble?

Just what kind of trap is this?

(Sfx- Zazaza *bssshhhht*)

(Sfx- Zazagagaga *bsshshhhhtsst*)

???: You certainly grasped this situation quickly….

Shinsengumi Vice Captian Hijikata Toshiro-Kun and First Seat commander Okita Sogo-Kun.

Wh—who—

Who the hell are you?

???: Oh my, where ARE my manners…..greetings gentlemen….

You may call me Jiguzou.

(TN- The kanji seem to say ‘Earth nose and bowels’ Though I’m not sure what ‘Gu’ in ‘Jiguzou’ means. I only point this out since it may have a meaning later on…..)
005

Jiguzou: Hijikata-kun, Okita-kun….Welcome…

To my game of death.

(Side text- And now it begins! The ultimate survival challenge!!)

GINTAMA
Lesson 233: Zippers should be undone with care.
SORACHI HIDEAKI

Hijikata: Jiguzou?

Are you the one behind this waste of time?

Hmph. I’ve never seen a Patriot that’s so cowardly that he’d address us behind a mask from a television monitor.

Jiguzou: Heh, You sure are noisy for a dog on the Bakfu’s leash.

That’s why I took the utmost care in choosing a cute little collar for you Hijikata-kun.

However this is my doghouse now, and as such I’ll call the shots.

So if you want to keep your life, wag your tail obediently when your master speaks.

Hijikata: WHAT’D YOU SAY PUNK?! BRING YOUR UGLY MUG OUT HERE AND LET’S SEE WHO’S THE DOG!

(Sfx- Garashaaaan *jiiiiinggggle*)

Jiguzou: Hahahah, I’m only kidding, no need to get ‘hot under the collar.’ I’m not with the patriots, just having a little bit of fun.

006

Jiguzou: Unfortunately I am not with the patriots, I am no where near as idealistic, and therefore foolish as they are…

To be honest, I don’t even hate the Shinsengumi, nor do I wish you harm.

I’m just a fan of yours.

I watch your exploits on Television all the time you know…

No matter how many trials you’re put through, your sense of camaraderie always manages to save the day.

Inerasable bonds of steel.

Those bonds are the source of your strength….and not the weapons that you wield.

But as a fan of yours I found my self curious as to whether this is true or not.

I’m sorry to spring this on you gentlemen…

But starting from this second you have three days, or 72 hours..

Before your precious friends at the Shinsengumi HQ are…

Blown into tiny bits…

By the bomb I’ve set up nearby.

007

Hijikata: Wha…

Jiguzou: And to add to the ante, only the two of you actually know of the bomb’s existence.

To summarize, the only people that can stop the bomb is the two of you.

Hijikata: Y—You!!

Why would you….

Jiguzou: Hehehe…

It’s a game.

A game created to test just how strong your bonds are to each other.

If you want to go there and save your friends you must act quickly.

It’s rather easy to do really, just find a way to escape from your chains and escape to the surface.

Hijikata: Guh!!

Jiguzou: Don’t worry, as I have more to this game…since it would be rather boring if that was it.

The goal has already been prepared.

Just head down the hallway past this monitor and you’re scott free.

008

Jiguzou: There’s a key in the other room.

That is the ‘key’ to your freedom.

With that the two of you…

Will be able to free yourself of your chains.

Hijikata: Don’t be stupid! Of course our chains can’t reach that far!

How the hell are we supposed to reach the other end when we can barely move?!

Jiguzou: The chain that connects the two of you is attached to a single pipe.

And then it’s tied around this pipe as a single chain. As one person walks forward the other person will be dragged back and choked

What this means is of course, that only one of you can actually get the key at the end of the hall.

Who you choose however is your freedom hehehe.

Hijikata: Wait a second there you idiot!! As if we…

(Sfx- Gunn *choke*)

009

(Sfx- Dododododo *Tmptmptmptmp*)

(Sfx- Goshaaa *Thoooood*)

Hijikata: Urgh!!

Owwwwww!! I’m choking dammit! Choking!!!

(Sfx- Fungigig *griiiind*)
Hijikata: Sogoooooo!! What the hell are you doing?!

Okita: Become one with the wall Hijikata-san!! I’m almost there!

Hijikata: Don’t lie moron!!! You just want to see me die!!

There’s no way you could reach it!!

That guy’s just trying to mess with us!! A bomb at HQ?! Think about it for a minute!! How could that possibly be?!

(Sfx- gishiiii *griiiind*)

Jiguzou: Heheh So you don’t believe me Hijikata-kun? Well I suppose that’s up to you, but there is no other way for you to escape your predicament without that key.

Oh heavens, forgive me…there IS one other way.

010

Jiguzou: How about this you two?

Would you like it if I helped one of you out and gave you the key?

Hijikata: What the hell are you babbling about?

Jiguzou: Heheh, the collars on your bodies now….

They have more than one use than just keeping you chained down.

They also have a mechanism that under certain circumstances will erupt into flame.

If it should explode…

One of you would become very lucky…

As you would be released from your confines.

If one of the collars should explode, it will instantly kill the wearer, but the shockwave will then go to the other and cause it to release.

To put it bluntly, if one person is willing to sacrifice their life, the other can grab the key and save the day.

While the other goes out in a ‘blaze’ of glory so to speak.

011

(Sfx- Don *bam!*)

(Sfx- Doddododododo *tmptmptmptmptmp*)

(Sfx- Dotsu! *Vsssh!*)

Hijikata: ORAAAAAAHHHH!!!

(Sfx- Zagatshaaaaa *Shshhhshsssssssh*)

Okita: Well what a surprise to see you here Hijikata-san….but didn’t you hear what he said?

Hijikata: Sh-Shut your mouth! I’m not some country bumpkin!

012

Jiguzou: Looks like you’ve had an epiphany Hijikata-kun.

From the beginning, only one of you was going to leave here alive.

To save the people that you trust and cherish the most…

You must turn around and then kill that same person!

(Sfx- Meki meki *throb throb*)

(Sfx- Mishi mishi *Grind grind*)

Hijikata: Yo—

You SON OF A---

Jiguzou: How splendid…..

To see your cherished bonds melt right in front of you…will you chose life? Or your comrades?

Hehehe….

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

013

???: Hiro-kun! Time for dinner!

(Sfx- Putsun *viin*)

Hijikata: What the hell are you doing heading off!!

And hold on just a freakin’ minute!! That totally sounded like your mom just now!! Your mom just called you Hiro-kun!! And then she said ‘dinner’s ready!!’ so are you really some diabolical madman Jiguzou?!

Who the hell is that guy anyway? And what does he want?

To mess with people this much…

Why the hell would he do this? What does he gain?! Wha---

(Sfx- Meki meki meki *throb throb throb*)

{Why of all people….}

{Did he choose him?!}

{To be stuck with him….}

{At a time like this….!!!}

{He’s defiantly going to try and kill me.}

{There’s no way he wouldn’t!}

{In the past, this guy’s thought nothing of trying to kill me constantly!}

{There’s nothing more he wants than to take the vice captain’s seat from right underneath my feet!}

{Moreover Kondo-san’s not here to act as a break to this guy’s downhill accelerating cruise control!}

{Without that, he’d probably have no problem just going off the handle!}

{He would justify my death to the other guys…}

{As a death in the line of duty, and just like that I’d be forgotten!}

{This is the worst case scenario for me!!}

{My life’s in serious danger!!}

Okita: Hijikata-san…

Hijikata Sa~n

Hijikata: N—wha…what do you want?!

Okita: You don’t look so well….you going to be okay?

Could you actually be afraid of what the guy wearing that 10cent mask said to us?

015

Hijikata: SHUT THE HELL UP!!

AS IF I’D BE SCARED OF WHAT THAT PUNK SAID!!

Okita: Hijikata-san…

(Sfx- Miki miki *straaaaain*)

Hijikata: What?

Okita: You can stop posing like that now.

(Sfx- Miki miki *Straaaain*)

Hijikata: I’m absolutely fine dammit!

Okay then, how about this?! We’ll stop doing it together on the count of three!

Okita: Hijikata-san….could it be that you think I’m some greenhorn that can’t handle himself?

Hijikata: Nononono!! It’s not that at all!! I’m just a bit tired is all! Nothing wrong with you at all!!

Okita: Just a minute….aww are you serious? And here I was thinking that we were in serious trouble…

As if the Shinsengumi would actually be taken down by a guy like that.

(Sfx- Zatsu *Swif*)

(Sfx- Za zatsu *Sw-swif*)

Hijikata: You moron, You weren’t listening at all were you? I’m playing the part of the serious guy here, while you’re still in gag mode.

Okita: Well I’m leaving it to you.

(Sfx- Zatsu zatsu *Swif swif*)

(Sfx- Bikutsu *Poit!*)

Okita: I’ve got to go bleed the lizard over here.

016

Okita: It looks like from here on we won’t be getting much sleep will we?

So you can take care of things over there right?

Hijikata: S—something like that.

Okita: But man I didn’t think that this kind of thing would happen to us, it’s a bit surprising.

Hijikata: You sure don’t SEEM surprised! You’re too laid back about this!!

Would a person who’s surprised casually go pee in a corner in this situation?!

(Sfx- Gacha gacha *clink clink*)

{While he’s distracted, I’ve got to think of a way out of this mess!}

{I’ve only got when this guy uses the bathroom and sleeps to make a break for it!!}

{Wait a second!! This could be…}

{A trap?!}

{While he’s over there using the bathroom..}

{Could it be he’s planning on taking me out once my guard has been lowered?!}

017

{Wait, I’ve got to calm down and assess this!}

{If he’s hiding something I’ll defiantly see it!}
{I just have to be ready at the exact second he gets his weapon.}

{At least if I’m on my guard, it’ll be a lot harder for him to get me!}

{But it’s taking a while….is he going to take it out or not!?}

{Heh it is a trap!!}

{You’re too naiieve Sogo! I wasn’t born yesterday…so you’ll…}

(Sfx- gatsu *pshsht*)

{I guh-guh…}

{I’m cauuuuughtttttttttt!!}

(TN- OH THE AGONY.)

018

{Craaaaaaaaaap!!}

{I was so riled up that I totally got caught in my zipper!! Open up dammit!}

{He-He hasn’t noticed…}

{I can’t wriggle around too much though…or he’ll notice!}

{I’m still in the zone.}

{He hasn’t noticed.}

(Sfx- jaaaaa)

{He…}

{HE’S MAKING?!}

019

{That idioooot….He’s trying to make a fool out of me!!}

{He’s faking all of that just because I got stuck isn’t he?}

{If I don’t do something now, I’m literally going to get caught with my pants down.}

{First off I can’t let him know that I’m stuck! If I do it’s over!}

{I have to get myself out of this situation before it gets even worse down there!!}

{Could it be, that he actually planned this? No..this is Sogo we’re talking about..there’s no way…}

{I can’t actually use the bathroom on my own here, but leaving things as they are is a no go too…}

Sogo: Maan, that was a big surprise….felt like a dam burst!

I guess that’s what I get of drinking a liter earlier…

Hijikata: Oh really?

I had three times as much.

But I seem to have made out okay.

Okita: What now…?

(Side text- Maybe you should look before you leap Hijikata…..Next time even more tricks and traps?!)

GINTAMA LESSON 233……….END.