Gintama 313

Poor poor Kondo. If I drank or watched porn, I'd offer you both man.

Checked. Hi wa mata noboru only.

Tae: Okay.
I'm actually quite a fan of baseball, so I suppose going with you to a game would be fun.
(Side text- Seriously?)
GINTAMA
(Bottom text- Gintama character book Volume 1 is out in stores!! Volume two will be released in July!)
Kondo: I see, I figured you’d say no.
Well, I guess I'll go see if Shinpachi-kun wants to use these tickets that I worked so hard to get.
Tae: ......Um, were you listening to me?
I just said I’d go with you…
Kondo: I get it…
Together, eh? That's too bad......
Go with me?
Huh? I could swear you just said the opposite of no….
Tae: I said that I would like to go with you to the baseball game….
(Sfx- Buru buru *shake shake*)
Kondo: Ho---hoo…

002
Kondo: HOMERUUUUUUN!!!!
(Sfx- Biaaaaaaah *sssssssssssssht*)
GINTAMA
(Side text- Love all-stars!!)
(Bottom text- Yorinuki Gintama-san runs Monday nights on TV Tokyo!!)
Tae: You just ripped the tickets up…
Lesson 313: We are all soldiers in the war against fate…
SORACHI HIDEAKI.
Hijikata: Just as I thought, men value high degree, high income and high height.
(TN- All three words start with 'kou' hense the three 'k's.)
Kondo: You shouldn’t underestimate the three K’s Toshi, Sougo.
{As far as K's go, one Ketsuge is good enough for me.}
{You stick one ketsuge out and hone it well, never giving up. And if you keep striking, you can make it break through even a giant wall.}
(TN- The ‘K’ is for ‘ketsuge’ or ‘ass hair.’)
Kondo: Well I don't expect you trendy weak, non-competitive, vegetarian-type boys would understand.
(Sfx- Nyururururu *sploooort*)
Okita: Are you going to let a guy whos a dog food type talk smack?
Hijikata: Shut up, barbarian type.
Though, I wonder what her deal is all of a sudden?
No matter how much of a baseball fan she is, she's always been pretty severe in rejecting you. But now she's suddenly changed her tune?
Okita: Kondo-san, I think it’s pretty obvious that this is a trap.
As a fellow S-type, I can imagine what she may be thinking.

003
Kondo: Shaddup!!
(TN- He says that in English even!)
Kondo: Jealousy doesn’t fit you two, like beni-ke!!
Hijikata: Bennie K? I didn’t just hear that. I didn’t.
(TN- The Beni-ke that Kondo talks about seems to be a brand of loose fitting jeans. The BennieK that Hijikata talks about is a hip hop duo. So…they sort of work out….I think.)
Kondo: Even rain dripping from a roof can bore a hole in a roof if it remains steady and vigilant!
My persistent rain of love has wrenched open Otae-san's hard-shut thighs.
Hijikata: You know, all of those things you said can be taken to mean something completely obscene..
Anyway, it’s fine to be happy and all..but what’s the catch? There IS a catch right?
Kondo: NO! We’re just going to meet each other in front of the stadium on Sunday!
Sure, I’m not allowed to go anywhere near her shop after our little rendezvous,
Well, with this, we're starting to go out, so I don't need to follow her around and stuff like that anymore.
Okita: ......That doesn't sound like "not going anywhere near her afterwards".
It sounds more like she's finally going out with you once for fun, and would like to very neatly forget the whole thing the moment it's over!!
Kondo: Shut up, Hayashi family!!
(Sfx- Don *thunk*)
Okita: We’re not a family, dude.
Kondo: Nothing ventured nothing gained! So even if this is the last time, I won't be getting this big a chance again!!
I'll do everything I can to seize this first and last chance!!
I'll hit a turnabout miracle so-long home run and go back to the bench with Otae-san's hand in mine! You guys just watch!
I’m not going to mess this one up!!
The battle’s on Sunday, and I’m ready for it!!

004
(Sfx- Zzaaaaaah *sssssssssh*)
(Sfx- Byouooooo *fwoooooosh*)
Hijikata: There's a full-force typhoon.
Okita: Looks like the game is over, Kondo-san.
Kondo: 9 o’clock….
Man, I’d better get going, it’s unbecoming of a man to keep a woman waiting.
Hijikata: Kondo-san…
(Sfx- Basaaa *fwipp*)
Kondo: Gahahahah, Don’t worry about me! The weather is no big deal!
Whether it's raining water or raining spears, it'll never stop my rain of love.
So here I go!!

005
Hijikata: Kondo-san, there seems to be something sticking out of your arm.
(Sfx- Bushiii *bloooorsh*)
Kondo: …………
Eh?
(Sfx- Oooooooo *fwoooooosh*)
Shinsengumi guy: Vice captain!! There’s trouble sir!!
I have a report from an airplane flying over Edo!! It seems there was fire damage on part of their hull and some of their cargo is headed towards Edo!
Hijikata: I see….well that’s no problem.
They’re all falling right here.
(Sfx- Dododododododo *tmptmptmtmtmptmp*)
Kondo: GYAHHHHHHH!!!
It’s seriously raining speaaaaaaaaaaaaars!!!
How many bad omens are there gonna beeeee!?
I haven't even started on the "d" in "date" yet!!
(Sfx- Dododododdodo *Tmtmptmptmptmp*)
(Sfx- Meki *tap*)
(Sfx- Bakaaan *THOOOM*)
Kondo: WHAAAAAAAAAT?!

006
(Sfx- Dokashaaaaan *Craaaaaaaash*)
(Sfx- Para para *clatter clatter*)
(Sfx- Gatsu *grip*)
Kondo: Uggh…
What am I, a sponge for bad luck?
How did thing start going like this!? Even for bad luck, this is...
(Sfx- Hah hah)
(Sfx- Guiii *Squeeze*)
(Sfx- Biraa *fwipp*)
(Sfx- Basaaaa *fwiffff*)
Kondo: Gah!! The tickets!!
Wait! Please!!
(Sfx- Kiiiii *screeeeee*)
(Sfx- Dodoon *thump*)
Kondo: Guboroooooo
(Sfx- Dodoshaaa *craaaaaaaaash*)
Guy: Hey buddy! Didn’t your mama tell you to look both ways before crossing?!
Kondo: Guh---s-sorry…I’m—f—fine…
Guy: You’re bleeding…a lot.
Kondo: No..I’m good, haaaaack

007
{I…I can’t fall here…}
{I haven't even walked 50 meters yet, but I've already had 50 years' worth of bad luck coming at me one after another like rain. I'm already half dead.}
(Sfx- Yoro *wobble*)
(Sfx- Ze hah zeh)
{What's going on? And on the day of my date with Otae-san of all days.}
{Dammitall, I don’t have time to hang out here.}
{I WILL have this date with Otae-san.}
{First thing is first though, I have to get those tickets back, or I won’t be able to even get in!}
Kid: Hey look!
Aren’t those the tickets to today’s game?
Yocchan: Awesome. We wouldn't have enough people to play during the typhoon, so we've got time.
Other kid: Let's go see the game, Yocchan! Luck like this doesn't come every day.
Yocchan: Hmm, but everyone's waiting at the athletics center.
Kondo: Um~ Excuse me kids…
I hate to rain on your parade, but I kind of need those tickets…
Yocchan: What do YOU want old man?
Whoa, you look terrible dude.
Kondo: Yeah, I’ve been through some…things. But I’m not a bad person….
See, those tickets belong to me –I had dropped them earlier.
I know you guys might have picked them up, so I’d like to ask you to give them back.
C-cough.
Yocchan: Well if you just show up and say that all of a sudden...
Other kid: Show us some proof! If you can, we’ll think about it!
Kondo: Okay, fine- GEHOH!
What do you have in mind? How do you want me to prove that they’re mine? Or are you just after something in return?
Yocchan: ......Hmmmm, well we've got free time since there's a typhoon.
Let's go play some baseball at the gym. I was worried there wouldn't be enough people.
(Sfx- Hyooooooo *fwooooosh*)
Kondo: Yeah…that’s fine…
{Looks like somehow I've got some luck coming my way. I have the time, too. And with little kids as opponents it'll be fine.}

008
Nightmare Kagura: ORAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!
(Sfx- DOGOOOOOOOO *THOOOOOOOM*)
(Sfx- Goooshaaaa *CRAAAAASH*)
Kid: Holy crap! That’s Kagura for ya! Her pitches are lethal!!
What are you doing over there pops?! The object is to catch the ball and then throw it back! And do ya think you could get less blood on it?!
(Sfx- Geohhh *cooooogh*)
Kondo: K…kay….
Kid: I knew it, even the old guy can't catch Kagura's pitch. Let's change teams and adjust the boundaries again.
Kondo: Waiiiit a minute-GEHO! Pops has things to do kids -GEHO!
Yocchan: Pops also doesn’t want the tickets anymore? Hmm?
Kondou: Okay!! Got it. But this time let me throw. I'm done being the catcher with China Girl as the pitcher. Different teams!!

009
Kondo: Okay, let’s do thi---
(Sfx- Bunn *fwip*)
Nightmare Kagura: ORAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!
(Sfx- Dooouu *thoooomp*)
Kid: A straight pitch!!
You're awesome old guy! You put your body on the line to stop that one!! Awesome!!
Kondo: Yeah...
(Sfx- Zuzuuuuuu *DTHOOOM*)
Kids: Thanks pops!! Let’s play again!!
(Sfx- Zeh zheh zeh)
(On ticket- Beetle king battle! Decisive throw away match to determine runner-ups!! [Top]
Now see the forest king enter what will be an accordingly heated battle!!