Gintama 315

>_>. I really believe that Sorachi is on the internet inventing new ways to add to my torment. I really do. One read of this chapter, and you'll know I'm not talking with a huge ego.

If you use this without checking the script, you'll have to write that monkey's name 4 times on the blackboard.

GINTAMA
SORACHI HIDEAKI
(Side text- A final night together….)
(Side text- Yorinuki Gintama-san comes on TV Tokyo all around the country!!)
Lesson 315: Names and natures often match.
Kyuubee: Since this is our last night together,
I feel that we shouldn’t sleep in the same room.
Monkey: Ki
Kyuubee: Tomorrow you’ll be sleeping someone else’s room…so you shouldn’t get used to this.
One who wants to be a celebrity samurai must have a heart which can lay down their head on a pillow anywhere and be able to sleep.
Well then…
Good night.
I see…
So they’ve ordered the monkey to be returned huh…
Toujou: Y---Young master?
Shinpachi: Kyuubee-san…

002
Kyuubee: I'm not worried.
We’ll send him back without incident.
Toujou: Huh?
Kyuubee: I don't think Jugemu Jugemu Poop Throwing Machine Shin-chan's Underwear the Day Before Yesterday Shinpachi's Life Balmunk Fezarion Isaac Schneider One Thirds Pure Feeling and Remaining Two Thirds Worried-Over-a-Hangnail Feeling As Betrayal Knows My Name I Know the Unknown Unattended Cuttlefish Medaka Ricefish Herring Roe Cesspool Medaka Ricefish...? This Medaka Is Different From Last Time Because it's Ikeno Medaka. Raayu. Yuuteimiyaoukimukou Pepepepepepepepepepepepe Bichigusomaru,
will be causing any trouble like he was before, even if he goes home.
Shinpachi: ...No, I think he IS gonna be a bit inconveniencing when it comes to that incredibly long name.
Kyuubee: Even his habit of throwing feces at people as been corrected to a habit of throwing poop at the toilet..
(Sfx- Patan *dff*)
Gintoki: Kyuubee-kun, while you're at it, do you think you could train the idea that I'm not a toilet into him?
Kagura: But is this okay, Kyuu-chan?
Kyuubee: What is there to be okay with? That was what the order was from the start.
I'm his trainer, not his owner.
Returning him to the Shogun family once his training is complete is my duty.
Kagura: But it is obvious they were just trying to get rid of him in the first place. And after all this, now they're...

003
Kagura: Even worse still.
You have given him a good name, and you've gotten so fond of him...
Kyuubee: ……..
I have fulfilled orders from the Bakfu. That's all it is.
{No one else has any feelings for this monkey.}
(Sfx- Kari kari *scrtch scrtch*)
(Sfx- Kari kari *scrtch scrtch*)
Monkey: Uki
(Sfx- Kari kari kari kari *scrtch scrtch scrtch sctch*)
Kyuubee: Quiet…
Be quiet, and go to sleep.
(Sfx- gari gari gari gari *scratch scratch scratch*)
Kyuubee: BE QUIET!
(Sfx- gari *srctch*)

004
Monkey: Ukya…

005
{Don’t be lonely, little one.}
{No matter what sliding screens separate us…}
{Or what distance between us….}
{I.}
{Will always be at your side.}
{So take care…}
{Jugemu Jugemu Poop Throwing Machine Shin-chan's Underwear the Day Before Yesterday Shinpachi's Life Balmunk Fezarion Isaac Schneider One Thirds Pure Feeling and Remaining Two Thirds Worried-Over-a-Hangnail Feeling As Betrayal Knows My Name I Know the Unknown Unattended Cuttlefish Medaka Ricefish Herring Roe Cesspool Medaka Ricefish...? This Medaka Is Different From Last Time Because it's Ikeno Medaka. Raayu. Yuuteimiyaoukimukou Pepepepepepepepepepepepe Bichigusomaru}

006
Toujou: And so that damn monkey was returned to the Shogun without incident, but...
DAMMMITALLLLLL!!!!
I CAN'T BELEIVE THIS LITTLE MONKEEEEEEEY!! IN JUST THREE DAYS, HE DESERTED HIS MASTER!!
Even now, he got past his pursuers and is running around the city!!
Thanks to that, the Yaguu family has been branded as a failure to exercise proper oversight.
And on top of that, now the family has been mobilized to clean up after them and go round up the monkey. This is truly getting evil in return for doing good!
Gintoki: I knew somethin' like that would happen.
The little bastard won't listen to anyone but Kyuubee, right?
Kagura: Too bad for them! That is what you get for taking a person's pet from them.
Toujou: This isn't the time for I-told-you-so's!
Listen, since he disappeared, the young master has gone three straight days and nights without sleeping to find that little bastard!!
She’s been so worried that she hasn’t eaten anything either!!
And to make things worse, they’re going to place all the blame on her if she doesn’t find it! You DO know what that means right?! Harakiri!!

007
Gintoki: That’s kind of….a big deal for a monkey.
Toujou: Hello? This is Toujou.
???: What the hell are you doing?! Have you found the monkey yet?
Toujou: I’m sorry sir! We’re doing everything we can! Just hold on a moment, please!
???: How long do you intend to keep us waiting?!
You DO understand that the Shogun isn’t a particularly forgiving guy right?! If you don’t find that monkey, the Yaguyuu family will take all of the blame!!
Kid: Gramps, has Gokuu come back yet?
???: Young master, don’t worry about a thing! Gokuu will be back soon!!
Hey! Do you hear that Toujou? Time is of the essence here!!
Toujou: Don't worry sir, I've secured the aforementioned poop-getting-thrown-at machine.
Yes. If we use this poop-getting-thrown-at machine, I'm sure Gokuu-sama will appear to attack him...... Yes.
Gintoki: Why do I get the feeling that your talk about poop just now was all directed at me?
(Sfx- Zuooooooo *floooorsssh*)
Toujou: PLEAAAASH! THIZ IB BOR ZA YOUNB MABTER...... PLEASE GIB UZ A HAAAAND!!
Gintoki: You bastard, you're planning to use other people as targets for poop!!?
Toujou: That monkey has had an abnormal tendency to attack you with poop. If we were to use this, it would undoubtedly lure him out!!
Please. The young master... are you... okay with her dying!!?
Gintoki: ARE YOU SAYING IT’S OKAY FOR MY REPUTATION AND FACE TO BE SMEARED IN POOP?!

008
Kagura: It does not really matter, does it? It is not like you will lose anything.
Gintoki: Yes I will! I'll lose something precious inside me!
Kagura: Well you're a man who's easygoing and aloof like a gas that came from a cesspool, so it'll be fine.
Gintoki: Normally you'd say a cloud or something is aloof, what's with "gas emitted from a cesspool"?
Shinpachi: Gin-san!! This is turning into a huge situation!!
Gintoki: ?
Shinpachi: They're saying some zoo's monkeys from their monkey mountain escaped!
Tv caster: Apparently the one behind this prime ape pandemonium is a small mystery monkey who opened the cage to the mountain monkey exhibit.
Toujou: IT’S HIIIIIIIM!!!!
You mean to tell me, that he’s trying to make the search even harder…
By releasing several other monkeys in the city at once….!!
Gintoki: As if…
Toujou: He's being amazingly cunning for a mere beast...
Now our attention's gonna be diverged to the other monkeys!!
If we want to sort out this madness, YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE WE CAN COUNT ON!!
The one that aims his poop at you is him!!
Gintoki: Wait a minute!!!
Toujou: Get out here, you damn monkey!!
We've got your favorite poop-getting-thrown-at machine right here!!
So bring it on!! Show us your moves!!! Toss us your crap!!
(Sfx- Oriyaaaaahah)

009
(Sfx- Kiiiiishnnn)
(Sfx- dododododododdodo *thokthokthokthok*)
Gintoki: GYAHHHHH!!!
Gintoki: WHAT THE HELL IS THISSSSSS?!
I was thinking one or two might show up, but the entire planet of the apes is waging war on my house!!
Seriously, what the hell am I to these guys?! What do I look like to them?!!
(Sfx- Ooooooooo)
Toujou: Is your ancestor a crab? Or perhaps Freiza-sama?
Kagura: No, that is not it. Gin-chan's ancestor is a gas that was emitted from preist Sanzou's butt.
(TN- Sanzo seems to be related to three sets of Buddhist sutras.)
Gintoki: Are you saying that my ancestor is fart then?!
(Sfx- dodododododo *tmpmptmmtmp*)
Shinpachi: What are we going to do, Toujou-san?! At this rate, our hope of finding him out of all these has gone down the crapper, and we're gonna end up smeared with crap!!

010
Toujou: Here we can widen the Yorozuya network and spread the net!!
If they walk around the neighborhood with a Banana and say the monkey’s name, I’m sure he’ll show up eventually!!
(Sfx- Gotsu *tok*)
(Sfx- Kiii kiiii)
(Sfx Kiii kiii kiii)
Gintoki: Will such an old tactic really work?
We'll cover it with numbers.
Katsura: A monkey with a bell around it’s neck?
Okay, but what is it’s name?
Gintoki: Um… Jugemu Jugemu Shit throwing….
Kagura: That is wrong. It is ‘Poop throwing’.
Gintoki: Oh, it's "poop", rather.
Hasegawa: Jugem-Jugem Poop-throwing Machine Shin-chan's Yesterday Underwear Shinpachi's life…
Huh? Not yesterday? The Day Before Yesterday? Two Days Before Yesterday? Uh... which one is is?
Gintoki: Which day did he poop in ‘em?
Kagura: It does not matter, just say today.
Shinpachi: THEY'RE CLEAN TODAY!!
Circle: Shin
Okita: Jugemu Jugemu Poop Throwing Machine Shin-chan's Underwear the Day Before Yesterday Shinpachi's Life Balmunk Fezarion Isaac Slider...
Schneider ? So it’s ‘Balmunk Schneider’? Oh no…That’s Issac’s name huh?
By the way…
Eh? Schneider? So it's "Valmunk Schneider"... no? Ah, so that goes with "Issac".
when did you say it was that Shin-chan's underwear had poop on them?
Gintoki: When did he do that poop thing again?
Kagura: Just say tomorrow.
Shinpachi: WHEN DID POOING YOUR PANTS BECOME PREMEDITATED?!

011
Tsukuyo: "Jugemu Jugemu Poop Throwing Machine Shin-chan's Underwear the Day Before Yesterday Shinpachi's Life Balmunk Fezarion Isaac Schneider Two Thirds Pure Feeling and Remaining One Third Worried-Over-a-Hangnail Feeling"
...What? The pure feeling was one third? Then the one that's two third is...
Hol' on. That underwear part, when was it ya said it had the stuff on it?
Gintoki: Basically it's always been on them.
Shinpachi: KNOCK THAT OFF DAMMIT!! GIVE ME THE PHONE!! NOW!!
I'm telling you that's the wrong thing!! It's "Medaka Ricefish Herring Roe Cesspool Medaka Ricefish"!!
No it’s the cuttlefish part! The cuttlefish part is wrong!!
No, you were missing one "pe". It's Pepepepepe...
LIKE HELL WE CAN TELL EVERYONE THIIIIIIIS!!
(Sfx- Bakashaaaaaa *DSHHHHH*)
Shinpachi: THIS IS ENDING UP AS JUST A NETWORK OF PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT POOP ON MY UNDERWEAR!!
ER, I MEAN, THERE'S NO WAY WE CAN COMMUNICATE SUCH A MIND-BENDINGLY LONG NAME!!
Shinpachi: I told you guys it should've been shorter!!
How can we possibly call him when no one can actually say the name….?!
Toujou: Huh? Really?!
Thank you so much! We’ll be right there in a moment!! Thanks so much for your help!!
Feel at ease!! Just now Katsura-dono has reported that he's captured the monkey!!
Someone!: Whaaat?!
Toujou: I knew we could count on your friends!!
He said he's sending him this way with a messenger!!
Shinpachi: Really?! This is awesome!! So someone does understand!!
Wait...Elilzabeth is here?! Could it be that it's not...

012
Someone: He even has a bell on his neck.
{Balmunk Fezarion
Nickname - Jet Black Wind}
Shinpachi: Hey, wait a minute, isn't this... BALMUNK FEZARIONNNNN!!?
HOW COULD YOU FIND BALMUNK FEZARIONNNNN?!
SO WAIT, HE ACTUALLY EXISTS?! AND HOW DID YOU CATCH THAT BLACK KNIGHT WITH A BANANA?!!
Kagura: It's Balmunk. And soon he'll be Dark Emperor Kaiser Fakinway.
Shinpachi: Hey, hey, even though we said it was a monkey and you took the wrong person, I get it, but what do we do now?!
Aw, man. Balmunk's starting right at us. He's staring right at us with his third eye, too.
Kagura: It is bad indeed! If that eye opens, the tragedy of Sephiroth will happen once again!!
Gintoki: Someone apologize and quick. Tell him "Sorry, we had the wrong person." Before the tragedy of Sephiroth happens!
(TN- You guys know who he is. Moving on.)
Balmunk: HELLS FAKINAWAY!!!
(Sfx- ORAAAAAAAAAAH)
Shinpachi: CRAP!! HE’S USING HIS SECRET MOVE!!! HELLS FAKINAWAY IS GOING TO DESTROY US ALL!!
YOU’RE JUST THROWING CRAP TOOO!!!!
(Sfx- Pakiiin *twokkk*)
Shinpachi: EVEN BALMUNK THRE CRAP! EVEN THOUGH HE'S BALMUNK AND EVERYTHING HE THREW A WHOLE TON!!
THIS ISN'T HELL'S FAKINAWAY AT ALL!! HE'S NO DIFFERENT FROM THE MONKEYS!!

013
???: Wait…
That’s enough.
{Issac Schneider
Nickname - Imperial Prince of Light }
(Sfx- Zatsu *sfff*)
Shinpachi: Th—That’s….ISSAC SCHNEIDER!!!!
It's the Prince of Light hat leads Balmunk down the light path!
Hasegawa-san brought him with him!!
(Handwritten- Everything is A okay!!)
Shinpachi: That’s awesome!! It looks like the two of them are talking!!
With this, we can relax….!
Both: Here goes…
BAD COMMUNICATION!!!
(SFX- FOOOOOOOO *FWOOOOOSH*)
Shinpachi: WHAT KIND OF NASTY THING ARE THEY DOING?!
ISSAC IS NO MORE THAN A MERE MONKEY TOO THEN?!
AND WHY THE HELL IS HASEGAWA-SAN JOINING IN WITH THEM!? JUST HOW BAD IS THEIR COMMUNICATION?!?
Kagura: Gin-chan! While we were distracted a huge ton of monkeys surrounded us!!
Gin: GYAAAAA!! SOMEBODY DO SOMETHIIIIING!!
(SFX- BUAAAA)

014
(Sfx- Basasasa *fwiiiip*)
(Sfx- Ukikikiiiii)
Shinpachi: T—This is….
Kyuubee: You've done well working as decoys, Toujou, everyone.
Thanks to you, we were able to round up all the monkeys.
(Sfx- Zatsu *swiff*)
Shinpachi: Kyuubee-san!!
Looks like on top of the monkeys, you caught three idiots!!
Kid: Wow! It’s a huge catch~!
Big dude: Hmph, it took you long enough. So among these is the young master's monkey?
Kyuubee: ...Yes, most likely.
But now how do we work out the task of identifying him from the rest?
We’ll have to search each of them for a bell, since our monkey is the only one with one around it’s neck.
(Sfx- Karararan *clatter*)
Kyuubee: …………
Big dude: Ugh! That little creature does nothing but pull tricks to delay us.
Kid: Gokuu….
Do you not want me to raise you that much?
(Sfx- Guzu *sniff*)
Kid: Do you really hate me that much?

015
Kagura: It is not that he hates you at all.
It is that a person he loves and does not want to part with even more than you is here.
Shinpachi: Hey Kagura-chan!! Wa---
Big dude: You little wench!! How dare you talk to Morimori-sama like that!!
Do you know who you're talking to? This is Shogun Shigeshige-sama's nephew...
Morimori: Quiet gramps.
Is that true big brother Yagyuu?
Kyuubee: Um…well that’s…
Morimori: If that’s the case, I think I should stop this…I have no intention of separating Gokuu from someone he loves…
I don't blame him for hating me.
I’m sorry Gokuu.
I'm always inside the castle, so I don't have any friends to play with.
And when I saw Soyo-chan's monkey.... I got so jealous.
I... I just wanted to be your friend.
But instead I ended up just taking your friend from you... I'm so sorry...
Unnn…
(Sfx- Shuun *sniffle*)

016
Kyuubee: Please don’t cry, Morimori-sama.
He doesn’t hate you, I promise.
And I'm sure it's not the case that he wouldn't like to be your friend.
You’re just calling him by..
The wrong name.
You see, he... has a wonderful name
that was made up of the many wishes of his friends.
So why don’t we call him together?
Ready, set...
Jugemu Jugemu Poop Throwing Machine Shin-chan's Underwear the Day Before Yesterday Shinpachi's Life Balmunk Fezarion Isaac Schneider One Thirds Pure Feeling and Remaining Two Thirds Worried-Over-a-Hangnail Feeling As Betrayal Knows My Name I Know the Unknown Unattended Cuttlefish Medaka Ricefish Herring Roe Cesspool Medaka Ricefish...? This Medaka Is Different From Last Time Because it's Ikeno Medaka. Raayu. Yuuteimiyaoukimukou Pepepepepepepepepepepepe Bichigusomaru
{Um, that name is too long. Poor Morimori-sama can’t even begin to say it!!}
Morimori: Jugemu.... pe... somaru.

017
Monkey: Uki!
Morimori: Somaru….
Jugemugenomu Barubarossafanzabo Pipipipipipipi Gerigusomaruuuu!!
{He just said some random stuff. He couldn't remember it so Morimori-sama just said a bunch of random syllables.}
Monkey: Kii.
Morimori: I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to be cruel to you! I’m sorry I got your name wrong!!
(Sfx- Kabaa *grab*)
Morimori: Here, big-bro!

018
Big dude: Morimori-sama!!
Morimori: It’s fine.
I don't want to see any of my friends' sad faces anymore.
Not Gerigusomaru's,
and not Big-bro's, either.
And also... I don't think it looks like
I've completely memorized that long name, yet.
(Sfx- Hahah…)
(Sfx- Kusu kusu *tee hee*)
(Sfx- Moji moji *figet figet*)
Morimori: In exchange big-bro…um…
Can I ask for one favor?
Kyuubee: What is it?
Morimori: ah…

019

{Jugemu Jugemu}
{Poop Throwing Machine Shin-chan's Underwear the Day Before Yesterday Shinpachi's Life}
{Balmunk Fezarion Isaac Schneider One Thirds Pure Feeling and Remaining Two Thirds Worried-Over-a-Hangnail Feeling}
{As Betrayal Knows My Name I Know the Unknown Unattended Cuttlefish Medaka Ricefish Herring Roe Cesspool Medaka Ricefish...?}
{This Medaka Is Different From Last Time Because it's Ikeno Medaka. Raayu.}
{Yuuteimiyaoukimukou Pepepepepepepepepepepepe}
{Take care from here...}
{And now we are done Bichigusomaru}
(Side text- And all’s well that ends well!}
GINTAMA LESSON 315……………..END.