Gintama 322

You know Sorachi, admitting your sin isn't the same as making an honest effort to change. >_>

Hi wa mata noboru's property ONLY.

(Top text- Everyone probably expected this, but inside is the big announcement that's probably more incredible!! Center Color!)
SORACHI HIDEAKI
(Sign- Ooedo bus: Kabuki chou.)
(Green text- So hoooot….)
(Blue bottom box- The Kabuki chou shitenou arc has been completed!! Pick up your copy of Volume 35 in stores now!!
‘Yorinuki Gintama-san’ airs every week on TV Tokyo on Monday nights at 6!!)
GINTAMA
(Blue side text- As for the announcement, hurry to the next page to find out what it is!!)

002
(Top text- The Movie ‘Gintama: Benizakura arc new translation’ has a street date! Check out the original animation disk that comes out with it! For more info, head over to Aniplex’s Gintama page!!)
(Sign- Ooedo pool.)
(Side text- Thoughts of a splendid summer….)
(Sfx- Kui kui *weee weee!*)
(Sfx- Kyai kyai)
(Sfx- Piiiiii *weeeeeeeeeee*)
Gintoki: All right, time for a break~.
Your lips have turned purple by now, right? So get up outta there~~ for 10 mintues, ya brats.


003
Kid: Awwww!
Kid2: We’re still good to swim! Go take a short walk off a long pool, lifeguard!
Gintoki: Is that so? All right, do whatever you want then.
Go on and think that the pool is on YOUR side. However, when you’re floating face down, don’t forget what I told you.
Kid: Hahahah! Nice try buddy, but we’re not falling for that.
Hey, let's go on with our game of tag!
???: KYAHHHHHH!!!
Gintoki: What’s going on?! Did something happen?
(Sfx- Datsu *dash*)
???: Lifeguard-san! Please help! My friend is......
Kagura: I think my friends' lips has turned purple and... in the blink of an eye, it spread...
His body! He is purple from head to toe!
Gintoki: DUMBASS!!! I WARNED YOU, DIDN'T I!!!!!!!
(Sfx- Gaku gaku *shiver shiver*)
(Sfx- Buru buru *wibble wibble*)
Quick! Get me a warm blanket, warm soup, and if you have any nearby, a warm family!
Stat! Crap, I almost forgot, get some warm glasses, too!!
COME BACK TO US, ISHIKAWAAAAAA!!

004
Kids: GYAHHHHHH!!!!
(Sfx- Bashaaa bashaaa *spllissh splooosh*)
Kids: THE PURPLE GERMS ARE GONNA GET UUUUUUS!!
(Sfx- Kuwaaaaah)
Gintoki: Never forget the primal fear that is the swimming pool.
(Sfx- Gotsu *Tok*)
Hasegawa: What the blue hell are you idiots doing?
ALL I TOLD YOU WAS TO WATCH THE CUSTOMERS AND MAKE SURE THEY DON'T DROWN!!
(Handwritten-Ugh, all of this paint is drying on me...)
Hasegawa: SO WHY ARE YOU DROWNING THE CUSTOMERS IN FEAR?!! YOU KNOW IF THE KIDS ARE SCARED THEY'RE JUST GONNA GO SOMEWHERE ELSE!!
Gintoki: Hasegawa-san, you can’t spell ‘pool of death’ without the death part. If you aren’t prepared, you’re not gonna come back from a swim alive.
The pain of getting water up your nose, getting snot stuck on your shoulder when you least expect it and then forgetting about it, everyone's dirty underwear on display for all to see...
(Sfx- Gata gata gata *shiver shiver shiver*)
Gintoki: Those who have just learned those pool terrors have only earned the right to play at the water's edge.
Hasegawa: THEY DON'T NEED TO KNOW ABOUT SOMETHING THAT WOULD TURN THEM PURPLE WITH FEAR!
Listen, I've FINALLY managed to land work after all of this time, and I seriously need you to be more discrete here!!
You need to watch over the children here who came to make their own memories of summer and get them to go home bringing those memories with them.
Don’t think of this as simple life-guarding, but the preservation of people’s summer memories! Don’t just think of the children, think of the creation of a path of pleasurable occurrences!!
That is our DUTY as lifeguards!!!

005
Hasegawa: Do you understand me?! Just look to see if people are floating on the water or sinking in it.
And do you know what that entails?! Being constantly vigilant!
After that just watch our for guys that are just standing around and stare expressionlessly!!
That means they're definitely doing their business in the pool! So take them out immediately!
JUST DO YOUR VERY BEST TO MAKE SURE THERE ARE NO ACCIDENTS AND EVERYONE MAKES SOME BEAUTIFUL SUMMER MEMORIES!! OKAY?!!
Kagura&Shinpachi: Aye-aye siiiiiiir!!
Hasegawa: YOU GUYS DON'T NEED TO MAKE ANY MORE MEMORIES!!
(Sfx- Batsu *fwiff*)
(Sfx- Doooon dooon *splooosh spolooosh*)
Hasegawa: WAIT UP!! IF YOU DON’T WIPE OFF THE PAINT FIRST, WON’T THE WATER TURN PURPLE?!
MOREOVER, HEY FOUR EYES!! YOU HAVEN'T BEEN DOING YOUR JOB AS THE STRAIGHT MAN FOR THE LAST FEW WEEKS! DO YOUR DAMN JOB, YOU MORON!!
Gintoki: Don't sweat it man. They're gonna guarantee people's pool safety from inside the water.
I'll be guaranteeing safety from inside the world of Inception, so I'll leave the rest to you.
Hasegawa: AREN'T YOU JUST TAKING A NAP?! STUPPACRIO!!
Gintoki: C’mon man…
I'm so bored of watching out for stoic little brats with hair like Watanabe Ken.
(TN- Watanabe Ken is a famous Japanese actor who has that weird topknot-like hairstyle all the extras have in Gintama.)
Gintoki: I only did this so I could look at some bouncy girls with some big bounces and guard them like I'm caressing and licking them.
Hasegawa: You're no lifeguard, just a low-life pervert!!

006
Hasegawa: Fine, I’ll hand it to you that most of the clientele happens to watch Saturday morning TV, but there are bound to be hot moms here too!
Gintoki: Ugh, no. There’s no such thing as a woman who has a kid and a figure that doesn’t look like it could crumble at any minute.
(TN- So hard to not write MILF here. So…very hard.)
Hasegawa: Huh?!
HOLY MOTHER! I SEE A HOT MOM! SHE’S GOT A KID, BUT HOT DAYYUM!!
(Sfx- Puriii *booing*)
Gintoki: Whoa, seriously!
She's bouncy bouncy!
(Sfx- Puriii *boooing*)
Gintoki: A DEKAPURIKO......
Nah, it's just Arnold Schuranzeneko.
(Sfx- Zatsuuu *TOK*)
(TN- A pun on Arnold Schwarzenegger, shuran meaning drunken frenzy, and -ko meaning girl.)
Seita: Aw yeah! It’s Gin-san! Been a minute, ain’t it!
Hasegawa: Huh? You know this stylish girl, Gin-san?
Tsukuyo: Ain’t this somthin’, Ya seem well.
Gintoki: Oh yeah, I was doing all right until you showed up. Now I'm dead.
Why the hell are you here in the first place?
Tsukuyo: Seita wouldn' stop complainin' 'bout wantin' to go somewhere for this summer vacation of his.
So Hinowa asked me ta' take him for some swimmin' lessons.

007
Tsukuyo: I din’ know what ta spect from this pool thing,
But it ain't much different from Yoshiwara.
What with the men and women waltzin' around almost naked.
Hasekawa: No, it's totally different! This ain't that sorta place!
Seita: Hey, sis Tsukuyo! C’mon! I wanna give this thing a try!
Tsukuyo: Now hold ya horses Seita, tha's something for after ya swim trainin'.
Hasegawa: Yeah kiddo, it's dangerous if you don't know how to swim, so start out in the kiddie pool...
Tsukuyo: First we slap on this lotion.
Gintoki: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TEACHING HIM!? THIS ISN'T A POOL IN YOSHIWARA!!
(Sfx- Numaaaa *blooosh*)
(Sfx- Numaaaa *blooosh*)
Hasegawa: HOLD OOOOON!! ARE YOU TRYING TO TURN THIS INTO AN ADULT SWIM?!
Tsukuyo: Then ya sit on this seat and spread yer legs open.
(Sfx- Nummaaa *naaasty*)
Gintoki: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TEACHING HIM!? I JUST SAID, THIS ISN’T A POOL IN YOSHIWARA!!
Tsukuyo: Aight. We’re ready.
Hasegawa: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT!!
(Sfx- Zutsu *shffft*)
(Sfx- Shagagagagaaa *tshssssssh*)
Hasegawa: GWAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

008
Hasegawa: T---THIS IS DANGEROUS!!!
(Sfx- Shugoooaaaa *fblooooosh*)
Hasegawa: THE LOTION!! THE LOTION IS MAKING US SLIDE DOWN FASTER!!
EVERYONE, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!
GBUUUH!!!
(Sfx- Doooon *Blooosh*)
(Sfx- Dododododdo *bloooooosh*)
(Sfx- Dokakaaaa *sblssssh*)
(Sfx- Shurururururu *sppppnnnnn*)
(Sfx- Zaaan *dtak*)
(Sfx- Kyaaahhhhhh!!!!)
(Sfx- Kutsuuu *dshhhh*)

009
Seita: That was awesome Sis!! Let’s do it again!!
(Sfx- Pukaaa *droop*)
Tsukuyo: Ain’t no helpin’ it. Aight, once more.
Hasegawa: W---waiit….
(Sfx- Buru buru *shiver shiver*)
(Sfx- Kyahhhh!!!)
Girl: Oh my goodness! That person is floating!!
I think he got hit by that torrent just now!!
Hasegawa: OH CRAP!! THERE'S FINALLY BEEN A REAL ACCIDENT!!!
Hey there buddy!! Are you gonna be okay?! Get a hold of yourself!!
(Sfx- Pukaaa *droop*)
(Sfx- Zabaaa *splssh*)
(Sfx- Gabaaaaaa *blooooosh*)
(Sfx- Puhaaaa *gaaasp*)
Katsura: Hahahaah! Elizabeth!! The watermelon is nice and cold!!
Now lets bring them over there, and split them open!!

010
(Sfx- Shakaaaaaaa *dsssssh*)
(Sfx- Gotsu *BOINK*)
Hasegawa: ......Ugh, somebody left again...
With these idiots showing up one after another, customers are gradually leaving.
Gintoki: More so than the kids themselves, there's also the problem of the adults who brought them.
Hasegawa: Yeah. But I don't really like having to hear it from you.
But it's not just kids that are the source of the problem, it's those dangerous adults showing up weird ways to fool around, ain't it? Keep a lookout.
We can’t let any more weirdos cause incidents.
Gintoki: I'm on it. I'll be keeping watch over the Dekapuriko. A just cause, indeed.
Hasegawa: I'm getting the feeling this guy is the most dangerous adult around.
I see one!!
One teaching a kid how to swim in the kiddie pool!! Adults aren't allowed to swim there!
Gintoki: What?! You mean a Dekapuriko?!
Hasegawa: Well, it's not so much a dekapuri than a Paul Binyuuman.
(TN- This is ALSO a pun on a celebrity, this time Paul Newman. Binyuu means "beautiful breasts".)
Gintoki: What? Beautiful breasts, but a man? Oh... well there is that type of man.
(Sfx- Puriin *boooing*)
(Sfx- Puriiin *poing*)
Gintoki: No, but she may have a "Pole", dammit~~~ Is it "Pole"? Or that kinda "Man"? Which?
(TN- "Pole" and "Paul" are phonetically the same in Japanese.)
Dude is she a pole but not a man?! What the hell do you mean?
Hasegawa: Wait, the kid, is that really a kid?
She's pretty big. Even taller than the Paul Binyuuman, ain't she?
(Sfx- Zabaaa *splissh*)

011
Gintoki: It's a kid man, a kid! It's just because of how well kids eat now adays, everything from plastic containers.
(Sfx- Gessori)
Gintoki: Look, it's a Robert Zeppekis.
(TN- A pun on Robert Zemekis. "Zeppeki" means precipice.)
Hasegawa: Well forget the precipice, is that a guy? It's kind of a young boy's body.
Gintoki: Huh? Everything became dark…
Hasegawa: Same here. What’s going on?
Tae: Who’s Robert sepekki?
(Sfx- Meri meri missu missu *crrkaaak*)
(Sfx- Dokiiian *cruuunch*)
Gintoki: I... I made a mistake.
Hasegawa: Sylvester Stallone? Is that you? Can I get an autograph?
(Sfx- Para para *clatter clatter*)
Tae: HOW ABOUT YOU GO FOR A SWIM?!
(Sfx- Oooooraaah!!)
Gintoki: NGHOOOAH!!
(Sfx- Barshaaa *blooosh*)
(Sfx- Guiii *Graaab*)

012
Gintoki: I... I see now... Well, that clears it up.......... It's not Pole, nor Man.
It... It was a Paul Binyuuman, after all.
(Sfx- Buru buru *shiver shiver*)
(Sfx- DOGOOOON *THOOOOM*)
Kyuubee: GWAHHHH!!!
UWAAAAAAAH!! I told you, I didn't like them, didn't I?! Swimming suits and pools and stuuuuuf!!
Tae: Kyuu-chan! YOU TWO! YOU ARE DEAD! YOU HEAR ME?! DEAD!!

013
Gintoki: WAAAIT! THERE’S BEEN A MISUNDERSTANDING!!
We were just on patrol as lifeguards.......
(Sfx- Zababa *blsssh*)
Tae: SHUTUUUP! YOU'VE GOT NOSEBLEEDS DRIPPING DOWN YOUR FACES, YOU PERVERTS!!
Gintoki: Nosebleeds? You're the one who got us splattered with blood, aren't you?!
More like, you’re in the wrong here, aren’t you?! This is the pool for kids, not adults!! You’re not allowed here!
Looks, all the kids are scared. Huh... they're looking this way.
Tae: THAT'S BECAUSE THEY'RE SCARED OF THE PERVERTS COVERED IN BLOOD!!
(Sfx- Gaku, buru *shiver shiver*)
Tae: I couldn't help it! Kyuu-chan doesn't know how to swim, we came to the children's pool to practice!!
I’m so sorry Kyuu-chan! It’s because I forced you to come to a pool in the first place, that you’ve been wounded like this…
Kyuu: Uuuu..
Guhuhh...
Gintoki: HOLD ON!! KYUUBEE IS ENJOYING THIS A LITTLE! SHE'S ENJOYING ALL THE CHAOS OF THE SITUATION!!
Tae: I can’t take this any more! I’m dragging your asses to the police right NOW!!
(Sfx- Basha basha *splissh splissh*)
Hasegawa: Wait a minute!! There’s been a misunderstanding!! I’m begging you to wait!!
Kondo: Otae-saaan!! You rang and I answered!!!
(Sfx- Gabaaa *splooosh*)
(Sfx- Fuahahahah)
Kondo: All of the proof is right here in my handy-dandy camera! Rest assured, those creeps have been caught red-handed!!
Tae: YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S BEEN CAUGHT!!
(Sfx- Gotsu *THOK*)
Kondo: GWAHHH!!

014
Toujou: Young masteeeeeeer! I did iiiiiiit!!
(Sfx- Gabaaah *blooosh*)
(Sfx- Fuwahahaha)
Toujou: I just captured that policemen's indecent actions right here on my camera!! Now that stalker will be gone for good!! Our plan was a complete success!!
Kyuubee: I DON’T REMEMBER CONSENTING TO ANY PLAN!!
(Sfx- Gotsu *TOK*)
Toujou: GWAH!!
Sacchan: I’ve got it all on tape Gin-san!! Here it is!!
(Sfx- Gabaaah *blooosh*)
Sacchan: the side of Gin-san's pe-
Gintoki: YOU HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING!!!
(Sfx- Gotsuuu *BLOOOSH*)
Sacchan: GWAHHH!!!
Kids: Kyahhhh!! What the heck is that!! Red water?!
No way!
That’s blood! The other pool is brimming with blood!!! Ugh! It’s coming this way!!

015
People: KYAHHH! What’s with this pool?!
Hasegawa: OH NO!! Now even more customers are leaving!! WAAAAAAIT!!
(Sfx- Gyahhhhh!!)
Girl: Hey look at that!
That pool there!!
There's someone bleeding out into the water over there, too!!
Kyahhh! I think he’s dead!!
Hasegawa: Heeeey!! Buddy, hang in there!
How the hell did someone die here?!
(Sfx- Zabuu zabuuu *splissh splissh*)
(Sfx- Zabaaah *blooosh*)
(Sfx- Buhaaaa *gasp*)
Katsura: I caught one!!
Fuahahahah!! Start the fire Elizabeth!! We’re going to feast on this tonight!!

016
(Sfx- Shagagaaa *dsshhhhhh*)
(Sfx- Gotsu *BOINK*)
Kagura: Uhahahah! It was fun! Amazing, yes?!
Seita: Aint it a hoot? Let’s do it one more time Sis!!
Tsukuyo: Aiight, but this is the last, ya got that?
(Sfx- Kyah kyah*)
(Sfx- Bushaa bushaa *splish*)
(Sfx- Kyah kyah)
(Sfx- Puka puka puka *droop*)
Hasegawa: It's basically turned into a reserved private swim for idiots at this point.
And just when we'd finally... gotten to the busy season...
Gintoki: You need to look on the bright side, Hasegawa-san.
It’s thanks to those rejects that all of these accidents happened, sure.
But with all of them here together, people will stay the hell away, ergo; no more accidents.
(Sfx- Zabaaaaa *splssssh*)

017
Gintoki: See, with everyone besides Ahotonio Banderakos not allowed in, the Banderakos can play around to their hearts' content.
(TN- A pun on Antonio Banderas. "Aho" means idiot, and like before, the -ko means girl.)
(Handwritten- All right! I here I go now!!)
Gintoki: Then starting tomorrow we can make it restricted to Dekapuriko's only, and they can have all the fun they want.
Hasegawa: Uh, isn't "Dekapuriko" something only you call them?
(Sfx- Ooooooooo!!)
(Sfx- Gooooo *fwoooosh*)
Gintoki: I'm sure after playing all day the Banderakos will be fully satisfied.
So if we forget about today, safety will be guaranteed for the whole rest of the summer vacation.
And happy Banderakos are tough, so even if we just leave 'em alone they'll be fine.
(Sfx- Doopaaaaaan *splooooooosh*)
Gintoki: So we can just sit back and relax all day, too.
Hasegawa: Heh, I see…
I guess so... As a special privilege to your acquaintances... I guess I could lend the pool to you guys for the day.
Even Jump takes off a week in the summer, so I guess it's okay for us to take a break, too!!
(Handwritten- Although I haven't really worked all year anyhow...)
(Sfx- kaaan *clatter*)
Gintoki: Damn straight! People are always saying Gintama's really friggin wordy and skip over it anyway, so nobody'll even notice if we take a break!
(TN- I KNEW IT. I KNEW SORACHI WAS DOING THIS ON PURPOSE. I’LL GET YOU YET SHITTY GORILLA!!)
Hasegawa: OH MAN!! I'm really getting fired up now, is it okay if I get naked? Could I do a full-frontal-nudity butterfly?!
Gintoki: Dude, even better. Check this out. I make a pool of strawberry milk! Do you think It'd be okay if I drowned in strawberry milk?!

018
Hasegawa: Who gives a crap!?
Like I said, all day today, this place is
(Sfx- Hyahoooooo!!)
Hasegawa: gonna be out paradise!!!
(Sfx- Batsuuu *fwiif*)
(Sfx- Ndaaa *tak*)
(Sfx- Bicha bicha bicha *sporsh splorsh splorsh*)
(Bottle- Strawberry milk.)
???: Hey.
Didn't you hear me calling you, bro?

019
(Sfx- Gaaan *thooom*)
Matsudaira: Lend me some... swim trunks, bro.
{T---}
{That’s…}
Matsudaira: I’ve been trying to tell you guys that I wanted to bring him over for swimming lessons.
I told him going to a cabaret club wouldda been way better, but dammit, the guy's curious about this.
So let's make this snappy. He ain't got no trunks and this is a pool, so lend him out some or sell him some.
If ya don't have any to offer, then you'd better be getting yours off within the next thee seconds. 1...
(Sfx- Gyahhhh!!)
(Sfx- Dooon doon *blam blam*)
???: Katakuriko…
Stop your heavy handed tactics.
There's no need for any worrying.
{No…not him…not now…}
{PLEASE TELL ME IT’S NOT HIMMMMM!!}

020
(Sfx- Batsuuu *fwifff*)
Shogun: For the Shogun Clan, when it comes time for swimming lessons,
for generations, we have been fans of the humble briefs.
(Side text- He appears!!!)
LESSON 322: What happens twice, will happen thrice.
{The…}
{The—thee….theeeee}
{ SHOGUUUUUUUUUNNNN}
GINTAMA LESSON 322…………..END.