Hajimete No Aku 82

Break-ins are no joke. I recently got my laptop stolen right out of my damn house. >_>. (Sorry, I have to be Real! BDR sometimes.)

(Black box- The ‘even giving sub characters a chance to shine’ comedy!)
HAJIMETE NO AKU.
(Side text- A shiftless NEET! However, she’s actually the most popular character?!)
(Side text- And so we open a splendid chapter in a day in Eiko-san’s life!!)
(Side text- The newest volume #6 has been in stores for a month! Don’t forget to grab one!)
FUJIKI SHUN.
Chapter 82: A day in Eiko-san’s life.

002
(Side text- Here lies a person who just lets life pass her by. Today however, we get a behind the scenes look at a day in her life..!!)
Kyouko: Oneechan!
Hey Oneechan!!
(Sfx- sukaaaa *snrrrre*)
Kyouko: She’s always sleeping….
Jiro: She sure is troublesome…
Kyouko: Oneechan! We’re on our way to school, okay?
2.0 is going to her part-time job too!

003
Eiko: Nuhh?
Yeah sure, leave it to mee~.
(Sfx- Pote *tp*)
Kyouko: This is going nowhere.
I heard that a cat burglar has been prowling around lately, and I wanted to tell her to be careful.
Jiro: Cat burglar?
Kyouko: Yeah, they’ve been doing some damage to houses in the area.
They even got into Aki’s shop!
Jiro: Oh? Shall I set some traps then?
Kyouko: No, because with our luck we’ll get caught in them.
I guess she’ll be okay on her own…
Dad: It’s about time we get moving, everyone.
Kyouko: She’ll just have to be our house sitter then.
Jiro: We’re off, sister.
2.0: Until later!

004
Eiko: Yawwwn Everyone’s gone…
That’s so boring.
I was hoping someone would entertain me.
(Sfx- Fuaaaa *yaaawwwn*)
(Handwritten- Are you heading out too, Pochi-sama?)
(Handwritten- Got a hot date.)
Glasses: Hehehe…lets do this.
(Sfx- Zatsu *swifff*)

005
Glasses: To be targeted by us is the work of fate!
Hood: The Akis brothers are on the job!!
(Sfx- Bishiiii)
Glasses: We’ve been pilfering fine pillages for seven years! There’s no prey too big or too small for us!
(Sfx- Bishi bishi bishiiii *fwissh fwissh fwissh*)
Hood: Bro, your poses are standing out a tad too much.
Let’s hit that place there!!
Glasses: Sounds cool!
(Sfx- Kara *clatter*)
Hood: The door was left open….are there people in here…?
Glasses: Hey now, we both agree that my reconnaissance is perfect, right?
We’ve been watching this place for three days.
And everyone is out around this time of day.

006
Glasses: And on the off chance that someone IS in here, my Chinese martial arts will…
(Sfx- Momu momu momu *chew chew chew*)
(Sfx- Pikuuu *poooit!*)
Eiko: Those clothes and that stance…
Glasses: Who the hell is she?!
Hood: Your recon failed us bro!!
Eiko: Are you guys thieves?
(Sfx- Paaaa *fwasssh*)

007
Eiko: W—what are you going to do to me?
Please, let me go..!
Hood: That’s good, she’s not one of those noisy women…
Though she hasn’t left the house in three days…
Glasses: Don’t worry miss! If you just sit there and keep looking pretty, I won’t have to use this!
We are gentlemen after all, right partner?
(Sfx- nii *grnn*)
Eiko: Heh, as if! This is a great way to kill some time!
Plus, although I’ve kidnapped a few people before, I’ve never been kidnapped!
This is totally the role of a main heroine!
(Sfx- Fufufufu *hehehee*)
Eiko: And if the TV people catch wind of this and show up…
Cameraman: Hey! Get a camera on that house! I can see a kidnapping victim!

008
Cameraman: And she’s a hottie!!
Like damn, she’s fine~!
Eiko: And after that, all kinds of merchandise will come out…
And I’ll become a celebrity!
Hehehe, my future is looking bright!
Glasses: Why are you laughing?
Hood: She’s a strange one.
Anyway, I don’t like long visits.
So let’s get the cash and hit the road.
Eiko: Huh?!
Don’t just scatter stuff around, Kyouko-chan will get angry!
Hood: I KNOW THAT!

009
Hood: Fine then! Just tell me where the money is!
That way, we won’t have to go searching for it!
Eiko: Well I’m kind of a….freeloader here…
So I don’t have any money.
But I still manage to contain myself to five bowls of food a day!
(Handwritten- Although it’s really seven!)
Hood: I KNOW THAT!
(Handwritten- Hold on, why do you eat so much?!)
Glasses: You’re certainly a unique woman aren’t you?
Fine then, if you don’t have money what else do you have? Cut us thieves a deal here at least…
Eiko: Can’t say that I have anything.
Though, if you want something other than money…
Would you prefer my body….?
(Sfx- Dokiiiin *throooob*)

010
Eiko: Here’s a deal for you. Call the police and make a demand. ‘I have a hostage and if you want to see her alive again, hand over some cash!’ or something .
If it were me, I’d ask for at least 5 billion!
Glasses: Are you selling yourself for five billion?!
Hood: More like, that’s too much trouble dammit!
If you haven’t noticed, we’re just cat burglars!!
Why the hell would we want to pull off a heist that big?!
Eiko: But having a man who’s wild and unpredictable…
Is kind of hot, right?
Glasses: Our hostage is even hotter!
(Sfx- Pipopa *beepboopbeep*)
Hood: BROOOOOO!

011
Hood: Simmer, dude simmer! Are you trying to bring the heat down on us?!
(Sfx- Batsu *fwish*)
Glasses: But she’s such a hottie…
Hood: ARE YOU MADE OF STUPID BRO?!
Eiko: So close…
This is a problem…I have to find a way for someone outside to notice us.
At this rate, the TV guys’ll never show up.
Um…can I go grab something from the kitchen? I pinky promise to come back.
Hood: HELL NO!!
Forget this crazy chick! Let’s just go find the money and get out of here!
Glasses: Got it.
(Sfx- Pinpon *ding-dong)
???: Watari-san!
Package delivery!
Hood: Don’t do anything funny, or else. Get my ‘point’?

012
Eiko: I’M HEEERE!!
Hood: WHAT?!
WHY THE HELL DID YOU ANSWER HIM!?
(Sfx- Hera hera *flip flip*)
Eiko: It—it just slipped out…
Glasses: So you’re a klutz too? Hehehe…
Hood: SHUT UP BRO!!
???: Watari-san?
Why aren’t you coming outside? Is something wrong in there?
Glasses: So what now?
Hood: Screw it….fine, go out!
But you’d better not do anything stupid, got it?!
Eiko: Roger!
Heheh, perfect! Now I just have to find a way to tell him what’s going on!
Hey, how about with my signature for the package?
I could write ‘gotcha’ on there or something!
Yess?
(Sfx- Gachaa *Clack*)

013
Hood: Crap, we should have untied her!
Eiko: Wha…?
Gen: What’s going on here? Why are your arms like that?
{Kusakabe Gen (19) An intern of great justice. Is just a smidgen too passionate about righteousness.}
Gen: There’s a crime being committed isn’t there?!
Are you okay?! Did they hurt you?!
Eiko: Huh?!
(Sfx- Shuuta *tmp*)
Eiko: Um…just a---
{The two have no idea that they are respectively on the sides of heroism and villainy.}
Glasses: Damn, this is bad!
Hood: There’s no other choice..!

014
Hood: WE’RE GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE HIM TOO!!
(Sfx- baaan *craaaaash*)
Glasses: Don’t move unless you want a knife in you!
Gen: I knew it, thieves!
Eiko: Wha?! Hold on!
Before you fight, call someone to…
Gen: ORAHHHHHH!!!
(Sfx- Hidan *fwwip*)
(Sfx- Gurii *grnnnd*)
Hood: Ugh!!
Glasses: What is that guy?! He’s scary strong!!
Hood: Let’s get the hell out of here…!
(Handwritten- My Chinese martial arts is nothing before him!)
Eiko: I can’t let it end here! If it does…
My actress dreams will…!!
(Sfx- Gatsu *grp*)
(Sfx- Mishiii *grnnd*)
Gen: Nh?

015
Guys: Huh?
(Sfx- Gotsu *THOK*)
Gen: UGEH!!
(Sfx- Potee *thump*)
Eiko: Now, where were we…?
(Sfx- Kurui *spin*)

016
Eiko: Huh?
Hood: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!
Glasses: SCARY! THAT LADY IS SCARRY!!
(Sfx- Baan baan *slam slam*)
???: Let’s get out of here!!
(Sfx- Buroooooooo *vrmmmmmm*)
Eiko: Whaaat?!
Why?!
Wait for me!
Hood: What WAS that?!
I’ve never seen anyone that strong before!
(Sfx- oooooo)
Hood: She just picked up that desk like it was nothing!

017
Glasses: Even the delivery guy was a monster…!
Hood: Let’s get out of this city, and never look back!
Eiko: Waaait!! This is my chance to hit it big! At least slow down until the TV crews show up!!
Both: GYAHHHHHH!!!
(Sfx- Gyaaah gyahhh *shsseeeeeh*)
(Sfx- Gamuu *crunch*)
Both: Ah!
(Sfx- Zabiiiin *splooosh*)
???: She’s a monster!!
Someone save us!!
(Sfx- Zabu zabu *splissh splash*)

018
Eiko: Wait a second…could this have been…
My fault?
(Handwritten- A truck fell in!)
(Sfx- Zawa zawa *hustle bustle*)
(Sfx- Datsu *dash*)
TV: This evening, the two cat burgalars that have been terrorizing the town were caught after their truck took a dip into the river.
The two were badly shaken, and could only alternate between the phrases ‘The pretty lady is scary’ and ‘It was a monster’….
{Eiko would never tell anyone about what happened between her and the cat burglars.}
Jiro: How very strange.
Kyouko: Maybe it was divine intervention from a god of justice?
2.0: Eiko-sama, did anything happen while you were house sitting?
Eiko: Nope, not a thing.
{Rather than becoming a celebrity, her days as a penniless slacker would continue into the future.}
(Side text- Eiko-san’s day was out of this world…..next time, it’s the season for ‘that’ school event!)
TO BE CONTINUED IN ISSUE 44.