Gintama 329

Ahhh Gintama. During my Pokemon White and EarthBound exploits, I can't say I really missed your tons of text. But being super behind isn't much fun either so...

Hi wa mata noboru scans only.

???: Nakasaki...

You've had a kid recently, huh?

(Side text- In a car at night....)

GINTAMA

Nakasaki: Wha?! How did you know?

???: Why didn't you tell me? Did you think I'd snatch it away from you?

Nakasaki: I---I'm sorry!

I didn't think discussing something like that at work was appropriate!

???: Male? Or female?

Nakasaki: Female, sir.

???: I wonder if we should shack up then....?

Nakasaki: P—please sir...

???: Make sure you play with her a lot when she's little, so she doesn't become one of those street walkers when she grows up.

Besides that, you need to keep in mind that one day, your daughter is gonna be taken from you.

Nakasaki: I---didn't...

???: Heheh, well you've got some time till that happens.

Though, ladies are much more independent than us guys, although you'll never catch us admitting it.

002

Nakasaki: I...I won't let Fuuko end up like that!!

I'm going to be the best daddy in Japan!

???: I like that spirit.

Nakasaki: I can't take this from you, sir!!

???: It ain't for you.

Matsudaira: It's a stipend for you to raise your daughter to become a good woman.

Buy expensive milk and take care of her, got it?

Nakasaki: THANK YOU SIR!!

003

GINTAMA
SORACHI HIDEAKI
Lesson 329: An old guy's home situation is usually pretty tough.

(Side text- Grab volumes 1~36 in stores everywhere!! The DVD for the movie will be released on December 15th! 'Yorinuki Gintama-san' airs Mondays on TV Tokyo!!)

(Background text- Daddy first, Man second.)

004

Kuriko: What's the meaning of this?!

You've washed father's underwear with my own, you did!

I've told you this is no good, I have!

You have to separate our wash!

???: My deepest apologies m'lady. I'm new here.

I hadn't heard of this rule, but I'm sorry nonetheless.

Kuriko: This is most upsetting! I have a party to attend this weekend, yes I do!

It won't do to have my garments reeking of tobacco!

I'll take these back, I will. For now, I'll wash my own laundry!

(Sfx- Hira fwip)

???: Ah...

(Handwritten- Hmph~)

(Sfx- Pun pun fwff fwff)

005

???: Oh, It's you sir.

I'm so sorry, I'll wash those again at once...

Matsudaira: Can you wash them so that even poop comes out?

???: No....

Matsudaira: Hm? You're a new face around here.

What's your name....

Ichihara...

Matsudaira: What about your first name? Is it Hayato? Or Etsuko?

???: I'm not Etsuko sir...

But Ezurako.

Matsudaira: You look more like a 'Zura' to me.

Katsura: I'm not Zura, but Ezurako.

Matsudaira: Whatever. You should be sure to wash Kuriko's laundry separate from my own for now on.

By the way, It's almost time for grub.

Katsura: Not grub, but Ezurako.

(TN- It's a...pun that doesn't translate, at all.)

Matsudaira: Anyway, just keep that in mind about my daughter, okay Ezurako.

Katsura: Not Ezurako, but Katsura.

Matsudaria: Huh?

Katsura: Um no, I mean Ezurako.

Matsudaira: Fine. If you understand, get going.

006

Matsudaira: Ugh, they're so dirty.

(Handwritten- The hell, how did this crap get on my pants anyway...I hate having to hand wash this stuff..)

(Sfx- Shagaa shsssh)

(Sfx- Jabaaa blsssh)

{The Police Bureau's chief}

{Matsudaira Katakuriko}

(Handwritten- It's not coming out at all, dammit.)

(Handwritten- Oh wait, that's just dirt.)

{This man reigns supreme over all of the police squadrons in Edo.}

{Whether this city is in a state of peace or war, whether it be petty crime or terrorism, everyone fears 'The god of destruction.'}

{Which makes this man,}

{The greatest enemy to us patriots.}

{However when I observe him during his off time, I see a man living a normal home life.}

{Who would have ever thought that the god of destruction would have to wash crap out of his underwear? As I gaze upon his back, the fear and reverence that I once felt shrivels into nonexistence.}

007

{His wife...}

{Rebukes him for going wild at cabaret bars each day.}

{His daughter...}

{Belittles him, and won't even allow their laundry to be in the same vicinity with each other.}

{The man has the power to move a thousand units with his pinky finger...}

Matsudaira: Um, Cops is on tonight....so....

Wife: Ahh~ Yon-sama is the best, isn't he~

{However at home, he doesn't have the authority to change the channel.}

{It seems that he doesn't even belong in his own home.}

(Handwritten- You're the only one who cares about me.)

(Sfx- Gabuu chomp)

(Doghouse sign- Puusuke the second.)

{It seems he as much more at home at the clubs at night, as he fritters his cash away.}
Matsudaira: Pass the Dom perry!

{Although he knows his wife will chew him out for this indiscretion, he still goes there, as if it's the only place he can reside freely.}

{I've been hiding here for a week, hoping to find a scandal that I can use to hang him out to dry...}

{However, I can't help but pity this gentle giant, heck...I think I may eventually come to like him.}

{With all of his problems though, the main one seems to be with the title of 'father'.}

{As he stands alone in the yard of his house, an unmistakable sadness envelops him...}

008

{'Manhood' and 'Fatherhood'....}

{Which is it that he fights for? Which is it that he protects? Does he fight for society, or for himself?}

(Sfx- Waoooon awooooo)

Kuriko: Um...what are you doing there, Ezurako-san?

(Handwritten- You're looking at me, you are.)

Katsura: Ah, My deepest apologies m'lady! I was in the middle of cleaning and saw you eating..

I had to skip my own dinner today, so seeing you with your soba reminded me of how hungry I am...

Kuriko: All out of green brand, but if red is fine, we can share, we can.

009

Katsura: Again I'm deeply sorry.

It's really not my thing to peek in on others as they eat.....this is so embarassing.

I'm really slipping.

(Sfx- Gata gata clack clack.)

Katsura: You can feel free to let me know if I'm bothering you, if so I can use a different wall around my heart....maybe even change to the AT field version...

Kuriko: Is that so? Well then, could you perhaps tone down the clacking?

Um Ezurako-san...

I'll thank you to keep your voice down, I would.
Katsura: I don't mind...

Kuriko: Ezurako-san? I don't think you understand that you don't need that door...

I'm sure you know, but my friends will be coming to Ooedo Hills to celebrate my birthday tomorrow, that they are.

If you can afford the time, will you come too? Ezurako-san.

Katsura: Hm?! Well, of course! But why?

Kuriko: You have been serving us well, that you have. So I thought it would be good to give you an invitation to this event as well.

Katsura: I accept! Thank you so much! Let me inform the master too...

(Sfx- Pui fwip)

Kuriko: He is not invited, that he isn't.

I don't want him coming there.

He would just ruin my birthday, that he would.

(Sfx- Gata clatter)

Kuriko: He's far too busy flirting with other women to remember or care, that I'm sure.

010

Kuriko: He claims he's doing it for work,

But in reality he's escaping from us at home.

Because of that, he's stopped me from having any boyfriends.

He wants to appear worried about me I suppose.

I don't want a coward like him there...

I do not recognize that man as my father, that I don't.

{Why...}

{I think I'm actually growing concerned in regards to the relationship between my greatest enemy and his daughter.}

Matsudaira: I'm baaaack....

Nakasaki: Hang in there chief!!

{I guess one could say that It feels strange to think of a nice girl like Kuriko as an enemy, but...}

{But the man himself...}

{I've started to give audience to thoughts of him as a disappointing reject.}

{Us patriots have been living in fear of this inept father figure?}

Matsudaira: I'm baaaack~

Nakazaki: Chief, not there!!

{He's no more than a place holder.}

{A small man that can barely keep track of his house.}

Nakazaki: Don't fall asleep in there sir!!

{I question myself for fearing for my life when deciding to risk crossing his path.}

011

Katsura: Sir?

Tomorrow is Kuriko-sama's birthday.

That is not the place to sleep, because if you get a cold you won't be able to attend.

You do want to attend her party, don't you?

Sir, What are you doing? Do you plan on running away?

Why do you continue to run away from your problems at home?

Matsudaira: Be quiet.

A man's place is with his company. The only reason why he comes home is to sleep off his job.

Nakazaki: No, that's really not how a home works chief.

Matsudaira: Ezurako, take this to her party, will ya?

Make sure she gets it.

I doubt she'd be happy if I handed it to her myself.

(Sfx- Pashhuu pat)

Katsura: I know Kuriko-sama has gotten to the age where she doesn't want her father following her around...

Matsudaira: Yeah, it's all a part of growing up. Great isn't it?

But I'm not worried about it, and you shouldn't be either.

Besides, I wouldn't want a worthless bum for a dad hanging around my birthday party either.

012

Katsura: Is this your duty as a father?

I've never known a man so foolish and weak...and for all your troubles the only answer you have is that one?

Nakazaki: Ezurako-san, you've said enough!

Besides, what do you know about...

Matsudaira: That's enough Nakasaki.

You've sure become real interested in what goes on around my house Ezurako.

But I'm afraid you're getting the wrong idea about something...

It's not like we men get smarter as we get older like you kids think....once an idiot, always an idiot.

Sure, I am a good for nothing father...

And no matter how old I, or any man gets for that matter...when we get in front of our daughters,

we become stupid kids, unable to think or speak rationally.

Take care of this for me, will ya?

013

{Gazing upon his face, I was reminded of a ten year old boy.}

{But then I realized everything.}

{He's smart enough to realize what's important, but too foolish to know when to quit.}

{I'm not sure whether to call this cunning, or just naive.}

{What I didn't understand was my actions after that...}

{Why would I do this to ensure he didn't fail...?}

{I went as I was told to the party, knowing full well this situation was none of my business.}

{It's almost as if now I'm....}

Desk clerk: Um excuse me...

It's all right that you have a written invitation to come in, but that state of dress is...

Katsura: I said I'm already dressed for the event....

Desk clerk: Um...the left side of you is not dressed at all...

Unless graffiti is a fashion statement now...

014

Katsura: Ah so tuxedos are no good here then? Let me get the one with a dress on then..

Desk clerk: Um, no...that's not the problem here. It' what you're hiding behind. You're just a well of suspicion with that around...

Katsura: What part of me is suspicious?

Desk clerk: All of you.

Katsura: You think I'm some sort of fool?! Because I'm not a celebrity you won't let me in?

I know that you're not actually having a birthday party here anyway! It's some kind of orgy isn't it?!

Desk clerk: Um...not at all. Why are you saying such insane things?

Katsura: I know that's what celebrities do behind closed doors!

Those masks hide the truth, and they do all kinds of things like eating syrupy cheese as they revel in debauchery!

You're having one of THOSE types of gatherings aren't you?!

Desk clerk: AREN'T THEY JUST EATING CHEESE FONDUE?!

Katsura: You fools! How dare you yell out something so obscene in a place like this!! Have you no shame?!

That cheese fondue is the most filthy substance of them all!

Nakasaki: Um, excuse me...

I know that person, you can let her in.

Katsura: Ah, Nakasaki-san!

Nakasaki: Because the chief isn't here....

You came in his place...

{To think i'd....}

{Keep a promise made to my enemy...}

???: Ah! Ezurako-san, Nakasaki-san!

015

Kuriko: You made it to my party, that you did!

Katsura: Kuriko-sama...

Kuriko: I'm so happy, that I am!

Now hurry up so we can...

(Sfx- Gashnnn thoooom)

Katsura: The emergency shutters closed on their own!!

Nakasaki: Th—this is...

(Sfx- Gagagagagaga clackclackclackclack)

Nakasaki: The building's shutters have all begun to close!

016

Nakasaki: What the heck is going on here?!

(Handwritten- There are people in that room!)

(Handwritten- Everything is closing up!)

???: The system is malfunctioning?

Katsura: No...

(Sfx- Gacha gacha clack clack)
(Sfx- Zatsu sffff)

Katsura: It's terrorists.

017

(On phone- Kuriko)

(Sfx- Bishi fwip)

Matsudaira: Yeah?

???: This is the Police chief Matsudaira Katakuriko, huh?

We've got the lives of your daughter and her friends in our possession.

Not to mention, our group the 'Blue sutou' have got the Ooedo hills on lockdown.

Your guys aren't busting into this metal tower no time soon.

If you want your daughter to have a birthday next year, you'd better listen to our orders, yeah?

(Sfx- Buri buri buri beeep beeep beeep)

???: Hey...are you listening to me?

???: Hey, is anyone in there? Knock knock...

The hell, I thought I smelled something in here...

Hey, anyone in there?

(Sfx- Gacha clack)

018

Matsudaira: Could you not come in when I'm taking a dump?

(Sfx- DOGOOOON THOOOM)

Nakasaki: Chieeeef!!!

Building five just exploded!!

???: Ma...

Matsudaira...

He was in that building...
Matsudaira: Huh? Why are you here Ezurako?

Nakasaki: Ch---CHIEF!!

019

Nakasaki: Chief! What are you doing there?!

{So you came to the party after all, Matsudaira!}

Matsudaira: Funny thing, I was waiting for my invitation, but it never came.

So I decided to just drop in.

Thanks Ezurako,

But I'm gonna take over from here.

(Sfx- Buun fwifff)

(Sfx- Passhu pat)

Nakasaki: W---wait Chief!! Where are you going?!

That building is in terrible shape....!!

{At that moment, the little man that hand washes his own clothes suddenly began growing.}

(Handwritten- Chief!!)

{It's strange, as he walked into the battle field, he began to change.}

{And that little man has become the scourge of the patriots, the man we fear...}

{The 'God of destruction' had returned.}

(Side text- Daddy is on his way!!!)

GINTAMA LESSON 329...............END.