Gintama 334

I actually met Gintama fans who wholly read my translations at the mall today. :-P I'm a sort of celebrity! All those self searches on google were right! So what does that mean to you? I'm back baby!

Hi wa mata noboru scans only. ONLY Hi wa mata noboru scans.


Color page:

Top red text- The huge announcement is here!! THE TV ANIME IS BACK!!! And because of that we have a celebratory center color!!

Middle text- Thanks to everyone's strength...

Those guys have finally...

Returned!!!

Bottom text- The latest volume of the manga #37 is in stores!

'Yorinuki Gintama-san' airs Mondays on TV Tokyo at six!!

The movie DVD will be released next Wednesday!!

And we're even running wild at JF (Jump fiesta) this year too!! For more info, check out page 314!!)

Orange text- The manga starts on page 27!!

002

Kagura: Maybe you have already forgotten...

How we used to go to the public baths...

(Top text- The cover of Jump NEXT released on January 8th 2011 will have the 'Gintama' anime's revival as it's cover!! For more info, check out page 170!!)

(Side text- The anime is finally returning!! We hope that from here on in you'll keep on supporting us!)

GINTAMA

Lesson 334: In the public baths, our bodies and souls are naked.

Kagura: With our red hand towels and mufflers...

You said that we will go together~ but you always left me waiting..

Gintoki: Keep singing, and I'll drown you in the Kandagawa.

Dammit, you had to go and fall asleep in the tub, and then panic when you thought you were drowning....all that thrashing around you did pretty much destroyed our bathroom.

(TN- Kagura is singing a song by Kaguya Hime called 'Kandagawa' or 'The Kanda river.' It actually IS a river in Japan, which is where Gintoki's retort comes from. The part about him drowning her, and not so much the bathroom rant.)

Gintoki: One adult for 200 yen, and a kid for 100.
Kagura: You are treating me as a child? I am already a woman! Add 100 more yen to that!

(Sign- Left// Ladies. Right//Gentlemen.)

Gintoki: Quit blabbering nonsense. Even when you get to be an old bat, I'm still going to have the heart of a boy. That's why 200 yen works out.

Kagura: Gin-chan, I need 100 more yen, yes please! I want to buy some coffee milk after my bath!

Gintoki: Drink whatever you secrete into the bath, brat.

(Sfx- Gata gata clatter)

Shinpachi: Hm? Gin-san? Why are you here?

Gintoki: Ugh, not what I wanted to see after the color page....

Anyway, why are YOU here?

003

Shinpachi: Well, apparently sister saw some onsen on TV and wanted to try a huge one for her self.

Gintoki: Tell her to jump into a puddle somewhere then.

Great, knowing that she's here is going to be a total buzz kill.

Shinpachi: I think I could say the same about you...

Anyway, I don't have to tell you that you shouldn't even think of peeking into the girl's bath.

Gintoki: Do ya think I'd do something like making Agnes chan our enemy when we just got a center color page?

(TN- Agnes chan is a big proponent of manga being toned down, to the point that she doesn't even think that girls should wear school outfits. Sorachi's mentioned her before, and with a manga like this, it's not surprising.)

(Sfx- Dododododododo rmmmmmmmmm)

Kondo: Ah, sorry...

I'm in the middle of some remodeling....could you perchance choose another hotspring?

(Sfx- Dodododododo rmmmmmmmm)

(Sfx- GYAHHHHHHH!!!)

Gintoki: Geez, what hole did the Gorilla crawl out of?
I'm not getting in the same bath that he was in. Anything he touches is polluted.

???: You're the one who's polluted.

006

Hijikata: You know, I think the kiddy pool over there suits a bastard like you best.

Okita: As expected of Hijikata-san. You like hot baths don't you? That's how I know you grew up in Edo.

Hijikata: Damn straight. This isn't even lukewarm.

Okita: Here ya go.

(Sfx- Shabababaa blsssssh)

Hijikata: WHO SAID TO TRY AND BOIL SOBA IN MY WATER BITCH?!

(On packet- Fried Yakisoba.)

(Sfx Jaba jaba Sploosh sploosh)

Hijikata: C'mon, I just got the water just the way I like it....can you PLEASE stop washing your pants int?!

THIS ISN'T THE GANGES RIVER YOU MORONS!!

(TN- Ganges River is a holy river in India. Although, why would Hiji say that when they're not reating it like a holy river at all...?)

Kondo: Stop it, all of you. We came to this place to bathe, not mess around.

If you want to play games, get out! Everyone except Otae-san should just get lost!

Gintoki: The reason why YOU came here is pretty obvious.

Besides, there's no way to wash off the dirt and grime on YOU guys...

Not only will you guys not get cleaner, but the water will get dirtier.

Kondo: What was that?! I came here to use Vidal Sassoon on my pubic hairs and make 'em nice and sleek!

Gintoki: How about some Camilla on your ass hair while you're at it?!

Kondo: Get out of here! This is for Vidal Sassoon users only!!

Gintoki: How about YOU get out, and I show you the power of camilla?!
007

???: Wooow~ This public bath sure is huge~

I want to take a swim!

(Sfx- Gaaan thooom)

Gintoki: You want to go swimming?! This ain't a pool!

Kondo: Unless you've got some Vidal Sassoon, get the hell out of here kid! This section is reserved!

(Sfx- Babaatsuu fwooosh)

Kid: Awww...

Reserved?

No faiir~

I came to the public baths, cause I heard everyone could come in...

008

Shinpachi: Gi----

Gin-san...th—that's...

Kid: Uncle, those guys say that it's reserved....

(Sfx- Zatsu swff)

Uncle: Really now?

I had heard that these public baths were...well public....

But these gentlemen have already reserved them?

(Sfx- Zatsu zatsu *swff sff)

???: That can't be...

Sir, I’m sure you know anyone can come here if they wish.

(Sfx- Zatsu sff)

???: Isn't that right, Big brother Saburo?

Saburo: Yeah, I've never heard anything to the contrary, right Big brother Jirou?
Dad, elder brother, how about you?

???: Can't say I have, no.

???: Hey, what are you all doing?

Oh, it's you elder brother.

009

Hedoro: What's this...

Well! If it isn't the Yorozuya?

(Sfx- Dodooon doooom)

Hedoro: It's been a while, hasn't it? It's me!

Your neighbor Hedoro.

(TN- Since this is the first chapter I've translated with him in it, I guess I should point out that his name is a parody of the Ghibli movie 'My neighbor Totoro.)

{He----Hedoro....}

{MULTIPLIED.........!!!}

Hedoro: I know you just said that this is reserved...

But do you think you could allow us to enter, please?

(Sfx- Datsu dasssh)

010

(Sign- Kids bath.)

(Sfx- Dooon Doon dooon sploooh slpooosh splooosh)

Everyone: Go on in!!

The water's fine!!

Kid: Yaaay!!

Hedoro: I'm sorry, I feel like we're imposing on you...

Kondo: WHY IS THE ADAMS FAMILY HERE?!

DO YOU KNOW THEM?!

(Sfx- Gatagata shiver shiver)

(Sfx- Buruburu wibble wibble)

Gintoki: W—we don't know them! Not at alll!~

Hedoro: My family came from the countryside to see me,

So I was racking my brains on what makes Edo so great, when I thought 'Nothing beats the bathhouse'!So I made this our next stop!

{B....}

{BEATDOWN AT THE BATHOUSE?!}

(TN- Joke. Bathouse is Sentou, and Sentou (with a different kanji) is battle.)

011

Hedoro: On my planet, we don't have anything like hot springs, where people can socialize while bathing.

So it's nice to come to a place where everyone is able to bare themselves.

{B...}

{He's invincible in a bare 'em all brawl?!}

(TN- Another pun. He says Tsukiai which is 'socialize', and they hear 'uchiai' which is brawl. Japanese sure is difficult, lulz.)

Gintoki: Holy crap...these guys are pumping themselves up to take over the planet!!

Kondo: Take over Earth...?! You can't be serious!!

Okita: I guess they're going to start their assault on this public bath, the monsters.

Kondo: A place to apply Vidal Sassoon can't become a warzone! I would have planned better if I knew I'd be defending earth today!

Well, as long as they're in the adult's bath, we can still all get out of here before it's too late...

Hedoro: This bath is soothing~.

{They all came into the kids baaaaaaaaaaaath!!!}

012
{Why would something so huge try to squeeze into the kiddie bath?!}

Gintoki: Ah—um, wouldn't the adult baths be much more comfortable for you?

Hedoro: No, the honest truth is that my family and I don't do too well in warmer water...

We wanted to enter the bath on the end there, but it's confining...

{I miscalculated!! I totally screwed up!! I thought they'd be happier in the adult baaaath!!}

Gintoki: Craaap! They've got us completely surrounded!!

They look like a bunch of tattooed thugs with us like this!!

They're looing at us, they're looking at us!!

What now?! It's not like we can leave!!

Hedoro: Dad, how's the water?

Old guy: It's lukewarm. You edoites sure like your lukewarm water...

I need the water to be colder! I want my body to tense up!

Hedoro: Hah, Dad's a true Dakini huh~

Well, I do admit it is a bit lukewarm...

Shinpachi: Um...if it's lukewarm, how about I add some water?

Hedoro: Oh, please don't trouble yourself...

For times like this, an iceburg comes in handy!!

(Sfx-Zuuuun doooom)

{WHAAAAAAAAAT?!}

013

Jirou(?): That's big bro Hedoro for ya....always being so useful!

Now the water feels just right! That iceburg did the trick!

Kondo: F—for real....I'm feeling really refreshed...

{THIS IS FRIGGIN' COLD!! WHAT ARE THEY, WINTER SEAL?!}

{MY LIPS ARE TURNING BLAACK!! IF THIS KEEPS UP, WE'RE GOING TO SERIOUSLY FREEZE TO DEATH!!}

Gintoki: Someone, anyone! Break the ice between us, literally!!

Shinpachi: No way! I don't want to be the disagreeable one here! You tell them you don't like the ice!!

Okita: Uh, guys I'm feeling a bit sleepy...

Hijikata: DON'T GO TO SLEEP!!

Kid: Unc, can I get out now?

{Hell yeah! I almost forgot that kids hate being in the bath for a long time...!!}

(Sfx- Zaaaahhh splisssh)

{We can use this to our advantage and get out of here...}

Hedoro: OH NO YOU DON'T!!

(Sfx- DOGOOOOO THOOOM)

014

Hedoro: Getting out of the bath before a ten minute period isn't permitted.

Any less than ten minutes doesn't allow all of the sweat and dirt to be cleansed from your body.

See? Have a look at those gentlemen!

They've even gone as far as dunking their heads in to wash off the sweat!

You could learn a bit from them.

Especially when it comes to being polite.

Gorou: Sorry big brother Hedoro, I didn't know any better.

(Sfx- Gopo gopo gloorb glorrob)

{TEN MINUTTES?! THEY WANT US TO STAY HERE FOR TEN MINUTES?! WE'LL DIE FOR SURE IF WE STAY THAT LONG!!}

Kondo: I can't do this any more! My D0ck has frozen solid! If it shrinks any more, it'll be no more than a dango, three brothers brand!!

Gintoki: It's always been that way!

Kondo: It's going to be over for us if we stay here any longer!
Okita: Hijikata-san, we're really going to die down here. How about you go up there and break the ice with them?

Hijikata: No way. I've lived longer than you, so I give the orders! Get yer ass up there!

Gintoki: Fine, whomever loses air first goes up to talk to those guys!!

(Sfx- Dogo smak)

Kondo: Ungh! You bastard! I knew you'd use dirty tricks like that!!

YOU GO!

(Sfx- Dogoooo thooom)

Shinpachi: Hey! Could you guys choose a WORSE time to fight?!

015

Kondo: Nghoooo!! I'm never going up there, got it?!

(Sfx- Gobo gobo bloorp bloorp)

Gintoki: Uh, hold on man...

What's that thing you've got there?

(Sfx- Gobo gobo bloorp bloorp)

Gintoki: HEEEY!! HOW'D YOU GET A HOLD OF THAT THING?! MORE LIKE, WHY'S IT SO DAMN LONG?! THE OLD DUDE'S GOT ONE HELL OF A BALLSACK!!

Shinpachi: Let go of that thing, immediately!!

Kondo: Crap! My hand is caught!!

Gintoki: You guys, surface and follow my lead...

I'm going to try and handle this.

Shinpachi: Your lead?! What lead?!

016

Shinpachi: Wow! This bath is great!! Ahahah!!

Hedoro: What were you doing down there?

Hijikata: Ahah, it was just a little diving dare between me and my buddy here! But I ended up coming out too soon. Geez~ I lose!

Hedoro: Hahah, you earthings sure are entertaining, I'll give you that.

Hm? What's the matter, Dad?

Dad: There's an uncomfortable feeling between my legs...

Hedoro: Hm?

Shinpachi: That's a positive thing! It happens to people in the baths all of the time!

Hedoro: A positive thing?

Shinpachi: That's right! How about you explain, Followkata-san?

Hijikata: Wha?!

W-well...there's an onsen under this bath that's called the 'Baiagura baths'.

Or, the Viagra bath.

With it, your vigor and strength will be restored, increasing your vitality, and promoting good health.

Dad: I see, then this pulling sensation is part of that effect you were talking about?

(Handwritten- Stay still.)

(Handwritten- What's this ballsack made of?)

(Handwritten- Didn't I tell you to let that thing go?!)

Hijikata: Sir, I'm more than positive that when you get out of the bath, you'll feel young again.

(Handwritten- This thing feels really stretchy...)

(Handwritten- Dude, something's gone inside of you...)

Dad: Hey now, I'm feeling it...

017

Dad: Granny! How about we try a six man challenge tonight?

Granny: No way dear!

Hedoro: Dad, you're something else...

(Sfx- Gababababab craaaaaaaaaash)

(Sfx- Zoboooo THOOK)

???: Huh?

(Sfx- Buku buku bubble bubble)

???: Dad?

Shinpachi: Ahahahah!! Your dad is sure an energetic one, isn't he!

M—makes me want to join in!!

Saburo(?): Heh, this stuff is amazing...he's got so much energy.

Although there sure are a lot of bubbles there...

Hedoro: Hey! A hand!

(Sfx- Zabaatsu plisssh)

Hedoro: Is it just me, or does he seem to be in pain...?

The V sign! He's making the V sign?

But what does the V sign mean, anyway?

Oh wait, someone's head popped out.

(Sfx- Zabatsu splissh)

Kondo: Saaaave m----

018

(Sfx- Topun bloosh)

???: He just said 'save me'....

(Sfx- Gapaaaaaa splisssh)

(Sfx- Zapaaan blsssh)

Hedoro: I do wonder what's going on down there....

Shinpachi: Nothing! Nothing's going on down there at all!

Hijikata: Those guys, always playing games. What are going to do with them?

Hedoro: Hey Jirou, take a look down there, will you?

Jirou: S—sure.

Shinpachi: Wait! Please!! There's nothing going on down there, we're all find!!

(Sfx- Zuooooooo sbloooosh)

Jirou: Dad! We were so worried, are you okay?

???: Sorry about that..

019

Kondo: There was a huge squid down there, and we did battle...

I was sure I was done for for a while...

{C---}

{Craaaaaaaap! We're done foooooooor!!}

{What happened down there?! Where's the grandpa?!}

Heodoro: Um...who are you?

Kondo: What are you talking about? I'm your dad.

{Nonononono! You're not him at all! You're just a Gorilla who likes Camilla and Vidal Sassoon!!}

Gintoki: It's the Viagra! Because of the Viagra bath, your dad changed....!!

(Sfx- Zaba zabaaa splshh splisssh)

Shinpachi&Hijikata: Whaaat?

Okita: That's it! He's gone and got his youth back!

{No waaaaaaaay!! There's no way they're going to believe that!!}

Hedoro: Hmm? Really?

He looks like another person completely..

Kondo: What are you saying? You forgot your old man?

GINTAMA LESSON 334............END.

020
Kondo: Graanny!! Let's dump these thankless kids of ours, and make some new ones!!!

{He's completely ignoring them!! Does he not think that granny won't know who he is immediately?!}

Kondo: Anyway, being in the bath for too long isn't good for the body...I'm getting out.

(Sfx- Zabaa splssh.)

Hedoro: Hold on a moment Dad! Something's dangling from you...

Kondo: Hm?

{It's their DAAAAAAAAAD!! THE DAD IS DANGLING BEHIIIIIND!!!}

Kondo: What're you guys going on about? That's just a ball sack.

{WHAAAT?!}

Hedoro: Just a ball sack? But....that totally looks like our father!!

Kondo: What are you going on about. It's a ball sack. It's a bit wrinkled up, but it'll swell soon enough.

Hedoro: I...guess so? I remember seeing them like this before...

But was Dad's ball sack this bad off?

{It couldn't have beeen!!}

Shinpachi: Gin-san....

Gintoki: We can't do anything about it. It got all small on us you know? All we can do is ride it out.

Shinpachi: Ride it out?! How?! There are boats less noticeable than that thing he's dragging around!!

(Side text- To part two of the bathroom battles!!)