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Translations: One Piece 904 by cnet128 , Gintama 682 (2)

Gintama 350

There is Love Riddled All Across the World

+ posted by Bomber D Rufi as translation on May 16, 2011 04:40 | Go to Gintama

-> RTS Page for Gintama 350

Page 1:

MC: Now then, you will be proving your love to Pinko-chan.

Reserved for the My Wife Tenkaichi Butoukai, the location of the Pinko-chan Group's dates will be...

a love hotel.

Lesson 350: There is Love Riddled All Across the World


{It's become a serious fiiiight?!}


Gintoki: HOLD ON DAMMIT! We go from amusement park to zoo, then straight to integrated gymnasium?! Why are we the only ones?!

We skipped several steps here didn't we?! Shouldn't you be looking at more long term things like where we look after each other?!

{All right boss, let's see what you've got.}


{Come one... Lets see if you can climb up here, Gintoki.}

Gintoki: I ain't climbin' anything, ya hear?! Anyhow, that place is the lowest layer you can get to! It's the middle of a cesspool!

Kondo: What are ya afraid of, Joe?! Don't turn into a bum on me now!

You've got the fastest speed under the heavens! Just jack out a straight left hook!!

Gintoki: What the hell is a straight left hook?! Forget stragiht, right I'm totally limp!! I can't see a bright tomorrow at all!!

Toujo: Guh... To put young master's shamelss figure on public display like this... it's so... so...

exciting, somehow!!

MC: Oooh! It appears number 311 the first to act!

MC: It is the bokukko+ play specialty, Pinbee couple!

Now what kind of foolishness can we expect here at the love hotel?!

Gintoki: What kind of battle is this?!

(TN- A bokkuko is a female that uses the male first-person pronoun "boku". Kyuubei does this. It's usually characteristic of tomboys. )


Toujo: Um, young master?

My huggies are all itchy and nasty, can you follow me in there and change me~?


MC: Number 311 seems to be using a baby play to invite his girlfriend to the love hotel!

Pinbee: Aww! Being selfish is so bad Ayu-tan.

Toujo: I wanna go in there! I wanna! I wanna be changed! Change mee

Gintoki: Forget changing his huggies, someone needs to change his brain!

(TN- Pun. Omutsu means diapers, Otsumu is a childish way of saying intelligence.)

Toujo: Let's go, let's go~!

Pinbee: C'mon, I said no, right~?

MC: As expected, the perverted couple always doing baby plays. They're dallying getting through the very first gate...

Pinbee: Now, let's stop this really.

I'm not interested in the real thing.

Cosplay might be fine, but there has to be limits, especially at my shop.

If you don't stop messing around, I will call the manager.

MC: And something unexpected has happened! It seems Pinbee whom was believed to be a girlfriend

was somehow just a delivery pinko from a Pinko Salon!!

Gintoki: What's a Pinko's salon?! Even in a game, what store has that idiot been going to?!


Toujo: A-A shop? I don't understawnnd~

Pinbee: Excuse me, but I've got a strange customer following me.

Toujo: Ah, wait! I've got er...30000 yen plus here! Even **** is fine!!

Gintoki: What the hell is he doing in a love simulator?

MC: Oh my, 311, negotiating is a sign of a rough road. Is there some kind of dispute?

Toujo: Please! Anything but the manager! I'm begging you!

Pinbee: Manager, over here!

MC: Oh no! The Manager! The manager has arrived!!


(TN- Tencho means manager.)

MC: Number 311 has entered a battle with TENCHO!!

MC: Having reached this stage, in order for 311 to return to his date, he'll have to defeat the manager of the store, then the manager of the company, and eventually the last boss, a member of the Yakuza!!


(Sfx- Gobaaaa)

Dude: See?! I told you Pinko's the worst!

I'll bet he goes out with girls like that all the time!

(Sfx- Booo Booo)

MC: And with these attacks, the other people gathered here are lobbing their vocal barrage at Pinko-chan! Their impression of her is only diminishing!

Sacchan: Don't you dare joke like that! My Pin-san is nothing like that Pinko!!

We're completely and utterly in love! I'll show you!


MC: And next up to bat, is the only female participant, number 294!!

A couple created after she forcibly turned Pinko-chan into her boyfriend Pin-san!

Sacchan: Shall we go in, Pin-san?


MC: And now they break through the first gate with no problem!!

He's a forcibly customized boyfriend, but perhaps their love is the real deal?

Sacchan: I'm getting sort of excited. Are you okay, Pin-san?


MC: He seems to be the taciturn type, but he is does whatever she says.

Sacchan: Oh Pin-san, you're so cool... But I wouldn't mind if you got a little excited.


Gintoki: Forget cool, all he can say is "yes" and "no"!! Is he the protagonist of a Dragon quest game or what?!

Sacchan: Oh my~ I knew you were into this, Pin-san! But don't get too high strung, it's gonna be a long night!

(TN- Some of the phases Sacchan is using contain the word "hai" meaning yes. Mostly words meaning excited, as in being on a natural high.)

{Battle Strategy
Save Magic}

Gintoki: He's changing his battle plan at a really inopportune time! Can you USE him like that?!

Sacchan: Um excuse me, we'd like to stay in a number 4 room.

{Welcome travelers, if you'd like to stay it will cost you 150 G. Is that acceptable?}



MC: And it seems that as a side effect of her illegal modification of Pink-chan, even the characters in the story have been given a Dragon Quest makeover!

{Perhaps try the items shop next door? Even if you have a rubber, you cannot use it unless you first equip it.}


Sacchan: That's true, when going on an adventure, there are all sorts of preparations to be made...

Oh no! They don't have any cypress poles for sale...

(TN- This is a weapon you can buy in Dragon Quest.)


Sacchan: What's the matter with this store?!

Do they expect us to go into a dangerous cave without any armor?!

Gintoki: A dangerous cave?! It's your cave, dammit!!

Sacchan: I want to speak to the manager!!

{A Manager appeared.}



MC: And now the manager has appeared even here, and a fight has broken out!!

{The manager called for his allies.}

Gintoki: Can't you buy shit normally in this game?! Are they not happy unless you fight the manager in this game?! And wait a minute, that's the same damn manager from before, isn't it?!

{Part time worker A appeared.}

{Part time worker B appeared.}

{Part time worker C appeared.}



MC: They'll need to defeat part time worker A and part time worker C to progress to the last boss D or part time worker B will never become a full time worker.

Gintoki: Who cares about what part timer B feels?!

Guys: I knew it, Pinko's the worst!

Only someone with no sense of a gentleman's modesty would come to a place like this!

MC: The virgins are enraged! They're energized by the Punko-chans falling one after another!! Is there even a Pink-chan here that can progress past the preliminary round?!

He's the only one left!! Number 113 couple with normal Pinko-chan!!

Can this man make it to the final round after all?!

Gintoki: W---we don't actually need to go in there do we? I mean, I'm the last one left. This should be a victory by default, right......

MC: And what do we have heeeere?!

The other couples are coming toward the love hotel!!

This is....this iiiiis!!

The representative for the Momo Group...


And from the Sayaka Group,



MC: What could the finalists have come here for?!

Shinpachi: Er... It looks like we've gotten lost and wandered into a weird place...

Ah, I'm so sorry!! Let's turn back...

Momo: You're right...

Then, so you don't get lost, take my hand and let me lead you...

Shinpachi: Eh?

Um... but... Momo-san th-this is...

Momo: ...Shinpachi-kun.

You know, as long as I'm with you, I'll never be lost.

Or I should say, as long as we're there together, even if we are lost... I don't care.

So will you...

get me lost?


MC: Shimura-shi has ended up trodding upon the Pinko-chan battle field, and a flag has been risen marking the overwhelming difference in poweeeer!!

Okita: Hm? We've got long in some weird place...

Wanna go back?


Sayaka: I... I guess you're right.

(Sfx- Jaraaaa clatter)

Sayaka: Then why don't you pull on my chain to make sure I don't get lost next time?

Okita: Hey, who gave you permission to walk in front of me?

Sayaka: ...Master, up until now I have done whatever master's heart has desired.

And sword to follow any order master has given.

It's made me so happy...

But... existing purely as a being being given joy by looking up at you from beneath your feat... is no longer enough for me.

I want to walk beside you, master...

I want to share with you the happiness you bring me.

I, too, want to..

(Sfx- Paaan thok)

Okita: Nmgh.

Sayaka: Have you lick my dirty shoes, dirty pig!!

(Sfx- Don donn fwiiiiip)

Sayaka: I want to walk all over you!!

Okita: ...Say what?

Sayaka: Quite a slow piggy, aren't you? I can no longer even feel your lukewarm attacks!

I've already booked a room. I'll teach you true pain and pleasure, little boy.

Guys: It's been raiiiised!! I don't really know what, but something about Sayaka-chan has been raiiiised!!


MC: And so following Shimura-shi, Okita-shi has entered the Love Hotel with a suddenly awakened Sayaka-chan!!

What will happen now?! Has the final battle begun with the Pink-chan fight simply being abandoned?!

The two have disappeared into the hotel without so much as a glance at Sakata-shi.

They appear to care nothing for Pinko-chan!! This is an utter disgrace to Sakata-shi!!

Even with all of this, he doesn't make a move!!

(Handwritten- This is the final battle...?)

MC: Sakata-shi has not moved from that spot since the outset of the comepeitioooonn!!

Kondo: What're you doing there Joe?! The gong rang a long time ago!!

(Handwritten- Seriously, what's with that guy...?}

(Handwritten- Dude's just in the way.)

Guys: Go hooome!!

We don't want any Pinkos here!

Nobody's even watchin' you! Get the hell out of here!!


(Handwritten- Go home! Go home! Go home! Go home!)

MC: The other contestants have started a cruel chant calling for Pinko to leave!

(Handwritten- Go home! Go home! Go home!)

(Handwritten- Go home! Go home! Go home!)

MC: Are they saying that Pinko-chan isn't qualified to be in the last stage, or even a heroin of Love Choriss?!!

(Handwritten- Go home! Go home!!)

Kondo: Staaaaand!! Stand up, Joe!!!

The only one who can save Shinpachi-kun,

defeat Sougo and avenge me,

(Handwritten- Go home! Go home!)

Kondo: and most of all, protect Pinko-chan,

none other than Pinko-chan's boyfriend...


Show those bastards who you are!!

Show then what a boyfriend...

(Handwritten- Go home!)

(Handwritten- Go home!)

Kondo: a girlfriend,


what love are!!





(Sfx- kahhh sheeeeeen)

Everyone: Uwahhhhhhhh!!

What is this windddd?!

(Sfx- Buoooo fwhoooosh)

(Sfx- Basahhh pffh)

Pinko: Wh---what's going on here?

Did somebody's triangular bandage fly off?



{No way... that's impossible...}




Gintoki: Who is she?

Dude, that should be obvious, even to you idiots.

She's my woman...


Guys: It... IT'S NOT TRUUUUE!!

That---but...what the hell just happened?!

MC: I'm not sure what happened, but his Pinko-chan has become beautiful, like a completely different person!! And she's there plain as day even to someone like me who can't use the Love Choriss Hole!!

(Handwritten- Let go of me!)

Shinpachi: Th---that's...

What happened....

Kondo: Hmph, so you've finally come to your senses...


Kondo: The Love Choriss Hole is a catalyst for getting information from the game.

It is the act of creating an expanded illusion, making it seem as if it were reality.

But by its nature,

it has never gone beyond the thin delusions of male virgins.

Adults have times where..

they cannot change what they get.

(Handwritten- I'm Betty,
n...nice to meet you.)

Kondo: Adults have times where...

no matter how how hard it is, they have no choice but to stand up.

(Handwritten- You're the one for tonight right?)

(Handwritten- Uh...hey?)

Kondo: If virgins create illusions in order to escape reality,

(Handwritten- This is Ueto ***)

(Handwritten- It's definitely Ueto ***!!)

(TN- I think we can assume it's Japanese singer-actress Ueto Aya.)

MC: then adults create illusions to fight against reality.

Yes, this is the greatest power of illusion of all that can even transform reality...


Pinko: D---Don't you dare joke with me...

I am not your woman!!


Pinko: I've already told you that I will definitely avenge Enari!!

(Sfx- Shakiiin sheen)

MC: Uh-oh, it would seem that Pinko-chan has been changed by Sakata-shi's love, but on the inside she still has the same feelings as before!

Pinko: Dieeeeeeee!!

MC: Watch out, Sakata-shi!!

(Sfx- Gahhh fwap)

MC: What's this?! Someone has managed to stop her at the last moment!!

???: Mother...

If you say something like that...

I suppose there's no choice, is there?


Who the hell is that?! Why did even his hair even get longer?! Why did Enari have to change toooooo?!

Enari: Mother, it was just an accident. I'm sure even you know it wasn't this man's fault.

My apologies Sakata-san, in her sadness over losing me, my mother just wished to blame someone.


Enari: But you know Sakata-san, being with he all the time ever since then was truly....

Pinko: Wait, what are you saying?...


Pinko: Th... That wasn't you trying to be with me or anything. I was just following you around.

B... But even so, it wasn't doing it because I wanted to or anything, it was always because I was after your life, you know!

Don't misunderstand anything. I don't like you! Not even a little bit!!

Enari: I never said anything about you liking him, mother.

Pinko: Ah..

(Sfx- Kahhh blussh)

(Sfx- Dofuuuuu fwhoooooosh)


{A tsundereeeeeeeee?!}

(TN- A character who acts difficult but is actually sweet and gentle. And switches back and forth.)

Guy: The hell?! Pinko was a tsundere?!

Hooow?! It's a classic, but it still touches my heart!! It's a new take on an old flavor!

P-Perhaps starting out as Pinko has made her sharp tongue (tsun) twice as good...

therefore the joy being born from the sweet part (dere) completely doubles!!

Guys: But dude, that's Pinko!! She's an old lady and has a kid!!

Enari: I just want my mother to find true happiness.

Although I am just a child she gained from father, her previous marriage, so she's not even my true mother, she still carries me on her back.

And the truth is, with me, even though she hasn't aged at all, she can't enjoy any of the joys of being a young girl, can she?


Pinko: I'm Katono Takuzou's wife. Despite him being dead, that will never change.

Enari: It was an arranged marriage, and you were forced into it, right? Father had never even held your hand by then, had he?



(Sfx- Tafuuuu fwooooh)

Guys: That's impossible!! She's a widow with a kid and somehow her image has recovered?!

To think that a miracle girl like her exists in this era of loose sexuality...!!

Pinko: T-Though Takuzou was kind to me...

Enari: I know that father cared for you mother, and that's why he still can wish for it, staring down from above.


look there.


{Do it in one shot.}

(Sfx- Gafuuuuu)


Guys: If even Takuzo is willing to forgive him, does that mean she can do any of this or that?!

Dude, she can't do that! A cute girl like that can't...

Pinko: I... guess it can't be helped...

If Takuzo is fine with it, I really don't want to....... but, fine then...

But don't mistake this for anything else.

I'm not the kind of woman who would come to a place like this by choice...

I'm not some loose woman... or anything, okay?


MC: And here we gooo!!

(Sfx- Doshuuun thop)

Pinko: Ahh~

MC: Sakata-shi!! He is making a clear show of the awakened Pinko-chan's power and has finally entered the hotel!!

Shinpachi: Guh...

I absolutely do not recognize this!!

(Sfx- Shaka shaka shfft shfft)

Shinpachi: The illusion that fights with reality is love?!

That's no different from the illusions we're under, is it?!

I won't let some dirty adult's fantasy out do Momo and I's true and innocent love!!

Isn't that right, Okita-san?!

(Sfx- Gyahhhhhhhhh!!)

(Sfx- Pan pan thoom thoom)

Shinpachi: Okita-san?!


Gintoki: Pattsan, listen up, it's just like you're saying.

Love ain't something that pretty.

But if that whispering to a video game you've been doing is love,

then I don't think that's pretty either!

Love isn't that namby pamby crap that you think it is!!


Shinpachi: My love for Momo-san is eternal!! I won't let anyone get in the way of that!!

Now let's end this!!!

(Sfx- Bahhh fwapp)


{A manager has appeared.}


MC: Well, staring from now things might be getting a little graphic, so we've replaced the girls with the store manager...

Gintoki: That hasn't solved anything!! Now it's just gonna be an even worse image!!

MC: The final battle will not be with the girlfriends, but with a game where you must satisfy the managers, called "TENCHORIS".


MC: Many different shaped managers will fall from above and you must arrange them well in a way that will satisfy the managers. The one who sends more managers to heaven will be the winner.

Shinpachi: So then it's some kind of obscene form of TETRIS! It doesn't have a thing to do with girlfriends or love anymore!!


I can't believe I'd come to this point and have a store manager in front of me...


MC: Ooooh! It seems that Shimura-shi cannot hide his disturbance from his girlfriend suddenly transforming into a store manager!

Shinpachi: D... Dammit... There's no way something like this will......!!

MC: Even so, he regains his composure and grips the controller!

(SFX- UGUH...)

MC: However, Shimura-shi makes many blunders in a row!!

Even the feelings of the managers are starting to droop, as they fall in difficult to line up positions, they're all managers going limp mid-way!!

Shinpachi: What does "a manager going limp mid-way" mean?!!

MC: Shaken by the absence of Momo-san, Shimura-shi is suddenly in big trouble!!

Shinpachi: Dammit!! Dammit!!

This isn't anything like the love I have for Momo-san......


MC: Ooh my! As if launching a final attack on a cornered enemy, penalty deceased managers are pouring from the skyyyy!!

Shinpachi: Those are just corpses of the managers, aren't they?!

MC: Th... This iiiiis....



MC: It's Sakata-shiiiii!!

Sakata-shi is cooly assembling the managers as if nothing odd has happened. They're being sent to heaven one after another!!

And he gets a series of straight-standing managers!!

The bravely towering managers are acting like even if they're a girlfriend who has turned into an ugly store manager,

she still wishes to show her love for Sakata-shiiii!!

Shinpachi: Th... That's wrong!! You don't really love your girlfriend!!

That's why even turned into that state, you can still be so calm!!

Gin: You might be right.

But given the fact that you've cooled off of your love high this much now, can you still call what you had love?

Gin: Pattsuan, the real world doesn't go as you think it does. Girls aren't like they are in games.

Any hot chick still farts, still poops, and still ages into an ugly store manager.

Shinpachi: No! They don't become managers!!

Gin: Loving someone means shouldering all that stuff together.

The illusion that makes that reality hazy, those strong thoughts, that preparedness, that is love.


Gin: Someone who whisperes words of love to a cold program... and can't love a store manager... a human... reality...

is not qualified to call what they have love!!


Guys: A... That... That's insane...


The managers...

Countless managers that have turned into Pinko-chan are... pouring down from the heavens!!

Gin: This is my loooooooove!!


50 shots of vertical Pinkoooooooo's!!

Someone: He's doooooown!! The manager is dooooown!!

Screens: Defeat


MC: IT'S OVEEEEEER!! Somehow Sakata-chi has assembled 50 standing Pinko managers in a roooow!! He's truly showed what adult love is to a group of virgins!!


Shinpachi: U... Uuuh...

Gin: ...Stand up, Shinpachi.

This isn't the end. This point is your beginning...

Though it may be true that you guys have been wasting time playing a game.

Still, if you guys poured that much gratuitous love into a simple game,

I'm sure you'll someday have someone you can love from the bottom of your hearts.

Shinpachi: Gi... Gin-san.

Gin: For that purpose, you can't just play a game. You need to properly face reality.

Shinpachi: No, um, Gin-san.

Gin (Handwritten): And if after you do that you still want to place a dating sim or an eroge, then there's no problem.

Shinpachi: Um, excuse me.

One who'd benefit from taking a look at reality..... is you, Gin-san.

Gin: ..........

Okita: He got so caught up into it that he actually took his pants off? You'd think at his age he'd know better.

(Handwritten: Even we didn't do something like that.)

(Handwritten: Gin-chaan, face this way!)

(Sfx- Suchaaa csuchaa fwip.)

Kondou: Did we really get that bad......? We've gotta get back to reality.

(Handwritten: Ya don't wanna end up like that.)

Gintoki: ..........

(SFX- Sucha)

Gintoki: Well...

Maybe I can store up enough Boyfriend Power for a trip to Atami this weekend.

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#1. by Rinslet ()
Posted on May 17, 2011
Putting aside all the A rated stuff, Gintoki said some seriously nice things.
Level [D] Translator

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