Gintama 356

So we have here a massive Gundam/Star wars parody orgy. Yes kids, it is as nasty and hilarious as I described it.



(Side text- The TV anime airs every Monday at 6pm only on TV Tokyo!!)

(Side text- The highly anticipated DVD 'Gintama' 01 will hit stores on July 27th!! Volume 2 on August 24th, and Volume 3 on September 21st!!)

(Sfx- Gogogogogogo rmmmmmmmmmble)

{Even without your assistance,}

{My plans are moving forward successfully.}

(Side text- Huff puff)

GINTAMA
SORACHI HIDEAKI
Lesson 356: If you're a man, try the cockpit at least once.

Mutsu: You're saying you don't need our help?

You should consider your words, Lord Vader.

Earth isn't a castle that will easily fall to a siege.

There is a special sort of soldier that resides there, despite being unseen.

Samurai...

These warriors have their iron code of bushidou...

Do you think you can topple them that easily...?

002

{If you're speaking of laws, we have our own.

{Since olden times, we've lived in silence, with our enigmatic expressions.}

{waiting for what you people call 'karma' to raise us to power..}

{Unlike your Samurai will not be defeated.}

Mutsu: That may be right, but to waste your men on this...

{A non issue. It is what soldiers are for.}

{They are but tools.}

Mutsu: Soliders are supposed to fight in wars, and to that end they are disposable goods,

but a country's might is built upon it's people. Without them the country will suffer and be destroyed.

If you hope to obtain heaven and earth, you can't do it without their hopes to light the flame.

{Well then, let us see which will be more effective...}

{Will my tools pass this test? Or will it be yours?}

{For example, that gun that you have hidden there...}

003

(Sfx- Gacha gacha gacha clack clack clack)

{It seems that you earthlings are the ones who lose out.}

{To think that you'd actually come upon an enemy ship alone and believe that you can stop my plans..}

Mutsu: You are going to be stopped. You don't even have the qualifications to be called the leader of ones under you....you will regret trifling with the planet of Samurai.

{I have no need for soldiers or traps.}

{As long as I have that, this galaxy has already become my plaything.}

{Before long you Samurai will be nothing to me.}

004

{You will soon know why the we the Renhou..}

{Are feared as the white demons.}

Shinpachi: THEY'RE NOT RENHOU,

BUT RENPOU AREN'T THEYYYYYY?!

(TN- Renpou refers he federation, which refers to Gundam. Which means this parody is a Gundam/Star Wars one.)

(Sfx- Muga mogo shuffle)

Fumiko: Shhh, be quiet. We managed to get this far...do you want us to get found out over your straight man act?

Shinpachi: But Fumiko-san! You didn't tell me this is what they meant by white demons!!

Fumiko: This is the result of the Renhou's second generation study and investigation...

These units of war known as 'Gunsam'. It seems they've been rather busy since I left...

Shinpachi: Although you guys made it sound really complicated, in the end they're just rip offs aren't they?!

005

Fumiko: Lord Vader hopes to use the confusion from the rain to launch a surprise attack.

With the Gunsams, taking over the planet will be child’s play for him.

Shinpachi: Before he can attack the earth, the copyright holders are going to attack us!

Fumiko: Both anime are handled with Sunrise, so they'll be sure to handle the messy details and calculations.

Shinpachi: THERE'S A WHOLE LOT WRONG WITH WHAT YOU'RE SAYING!!

Fumiko: In any case, no matter how you slice it we have to destroy these things.

Kagura: How will we do that?

Fumiko: To that end...

I'm sure he's thought of something...

Shogun Eren was supposed to spearhead the invasion mission to earth...

While riding these Gunsams...

It couldn't be...did he rise up to the status of Shogun so quickly so that he could do this...

Shinpachi: Wait, so Elizabeth-san asked us to work as it's subordinates, it already knew what we had in mind?

Kagura: Elie noticed us when we came aboard, yes?

Fumiko: I haven't changed my appearance since we worked together in the old days...other than this ribbon. It goes without saying that he would recognize his girlfriend.

Shinpachi: There's no way we'd be recognized in this situation!!

This is just a bad where's waldo puzzle!!

006

Kagura: I see. So Elie recognized your ribbon. It would make sense. Elie did not recognize that Shinpachi has also changed.

Shinpachi: No, it was obviously Shinpachi that caught it's attention.

Fumiko: Now that we're here, it's our chance to hijack these things.

I'll figure out some way to destroy the Gunsams from here.

You all just keep those three idiots from allowing the advance guard to get out of here.

Kagura: Good luck, Fumi-ne.

Shinpachi: All right,

Did you hear that just now Gin-san?

Gintoki: Listen up men! It's time for us Renhou warriors to use our bravery and righteousness! Throw aside your poster boards and let us usher in the reign of Elizabethdom!

With the cloud floating above earth, us Renhou have nothing to fear! In fact that is the proof that lady Justice is on our side!! Now let us begin the attack on those pathetic earthlings with all of our might!! Until not a single one of them are standing will we stop!!

Those who oppose are trash!!!

Katsura: The earthlings have three important things enclosed in a sack. This is known as the golden coin purse! The golden O purse!!

If you want to stop an earthling, you must first aim for this golden O purse! Once you have their coin purse subjugated they become completely powerless!!

Sakamoto: Rely on your allies' voices on the battle field! Toss aside your poster boards and strive for the best! Strive to both support and when needed reprimand your fellow soldier!!

Oh yes, if you should need it there are snacks for sale for 300 yen. Be sure not to consume them while riding in your mobile suit or you might find yourself getting sick....

007

Sakamotos: HOORK~~!

Shinpachi: WHY ARE YOU MORONS TEACHING THEM WAYS TO DEFEAT US?!

IT'S ALMOST AS IF YOU WANT THE WORLD TO BE TAKEN OVER!! IS THAT WHY WE'RE HERE?!

Gintoki: Why'd you kick me?! We just got them to listen to us without using poster boards too!!

Shinpachi: The whole thing is you guys are the only ones not using poster boards!

Sakamoto: Gahahahah! Sorry pal! Just this whole getting amped up before a fight thing is still in me from our war days!!

Shinpachi: WHAT BATTLE FIELD WERE YOU BASTARDS ON!? THE ONE WAR YOU DID FIGHT IN WAS ONLY DURING THE SECOND HALF!!

{Sensei! Is it okay for us to bring our PSP onto the battle field?}

Katsura: Fool! We just got into the battle mood, and you bring up such a trifling thing?! War is not playtime!!

{Aww.}

Shinpachi: Is this some kind of classroom?! And who's the teacher?!

Katsura: Fine, fine. How about we turn this little court marshal into a schoolyard wide Uno convention?!

Shinpachi: Why a schoolyard uno convention?! To what extend to you want to play uno?!

Gintoki: No need to worry Aruzabeth. Back when we were fighting the war, it was pretty common to see dudes playing uno at triple speed.

Shinpachi: THAT AIN'T MY PROBLEM! ARE YOU GUYS FROM PLANET STUPID?!

Sakamoto: By playing uno, we'd be able to stay level headed and at the same time be pupmped for battle! This is the what a general's job is you know what I mean?

Shinpachi: Basically one of you is stu, and the other is pid!

Why the hell are you casually playing uno with the aliens who intend to invade us?! What the hell is going on here?!

Kagura: It seems that their charisma has won them over somehow, yes?

(Sfx- Wai wai Kyai kyai)

008

{They're a strange group, that's for sure.}

Shinpachi: Eli..

Shogun Eren!!

{They've unraveled the tension before battle in light speed, relaxing everyone.}

{They're total idiots, but yet it's very hard to not be fascinated by them.}

{Or should I say that we're all just really interested in you earthlings in general.}
{After all we did stake out earth with you guys for a while...}

{So I'm sure my platoon feels the same way.}

{We were ordered to make contact with and infiltrate you Earthlings...}

{And in the same breath we were then ordered to destroy you...}

Katsura: Everyone loves Earth.

If they didn't...

Then no one would remember the rules.

{Katsura-san...}

{You said it well....it's how I feel too.}

009

{I know in the past when we had free time...}

{I learned how weak you were, cause even when I went easy you lost.}

{To be frank, I think I stopped talking to him since that time.}

Katsura: Do you regret what you have done...?

Then why?

When you guys infiltrated Earth, would you make it something precious to you?

The Earth itself became irreplaceable.

It's how I feel too....but,

Why would you invade?

{There's something I'd like you to hear now...}

{I had always had a small intention to rebel against the strict laws of the Renhou.}

{But it's about time I stopped talking...I won't say it again.}

(Sfx- Zath tmp)

Katsura: So if the Shogun begun to show signs of rebellion,

More likely than not the others would pick up on this, and said feelings would spread like wildfire.
But you didn't want everyone to suffer because of your ambition...

Am I right?

010

{I've learned a lot while on earth.}

{Although it's often a cold steel-like planet...}

{There are plenty of things with warmth.}

{I learned the pride...}

{Of fighting back to back with a friend.}

{That's why I regret nothing.}

{There are things I have to protect at all costs.}

{Which is exactly why I can't let the earth get destroyed.}

{That's why for that person...}

{I will continue to fight.}

{Back to back with the one I call friend...}

{The earthling who taught me so much.}

011

(Sfx- Zah sfft)

Katsura: Eliza...

Beth...

(Sfx- Uuu~ Uuu Uuu Uuu weeoon weeooon weoooon)

{Dispatch order. All orders will prepare for a sortie on Earth in one hour. Be sure to make all preparations, as negligence will not be permitted.}

Kagura: A dispatch order?

Shinpachi: Th—they're moving so fast! Did Mutsu-san's negotiations break down?

(Sfx- Bata bata bata tmp tmp tmp)

Sakamoto: Gahahah! Seems like you weren't able to cut it, eh Mutsu?

(Sfx- Pushii pfwssh)

Shinpachi: Mutsu-san...

Mutsu: I gave you more than enough time to plan something and do it.

012

Sakamoto: Oh!! Holy crap! I got a draw two on this guy! Maybe I can even get a draw four on him! Hehe, little does he know about the Earth rule dealing with draw two and four! I've got him now!

Mutsu: What the blue hell are you doing?! Are you seriously going to leave my life on the wayside while you play UNO!? DO YOU THINK WE HAVE TIME FOR THIS?!

What the hell do you plan to do about this?! The entire Kaientai has been thrown into a gaol!! Are you going to save us or what?!

Katsura: No need to worry. The preparations have been made!

Shinpachi: Katsura-san?

Katsura: No need to worry.

Elizabeth will always be Elizabeth..

The Elizabeth that I'll always believe in.

An earthling and renhou....

Since when did our positions become so far from one another?

Even with that, what we believe in hasn't changed a bit.

That's why I knew I could believe in you...

That as a friend, you'd never betray us.

(Sfx- Gahh fwisssf)

Katsura: I...

013

Katsura: Will stop the Renhou.

(Sfx- Zahhh sfft)

Katsura: Even if it means cutting Elizabeth down.

Gintoki: Zura...

{What the hell are you idiots doing? Get moving! You're supposed to be on the front lines! It's the Shogun's orders!}

Katsura: I'm going now!!

I will go on the front lines and stop the Elizabeths myself!

Kagura: Wait! Zura! You cannot do this to Elie!

Gintoki: Sounds good. Go ahead and raise some hell Zura.

You lead the pack, and we'll take the head of their leader.

Kagura: Gin-chan! Mossan!!

(Handwritten- Who's Mossan?)

014

Sakamoto: But'channo Gintoki, no matter what snake you're up against, snipping the head shut's 'em down.

Even if you don't touch the tail.

Well, that's a long story for another day ain't it?

Gintoki: What the hell are you talking about? Is your brain still broken?

Katsura: I'm not looking back.

Gintoki: Don't then.

{Cause we've got your back.}

015

Kagura: With those three fools around, I do not think we need to worry, yes?

But now we have to find a way to stop these things from launching.

Shinpachi: Though a better question to ask would be; how does Katsura-san intend on stopping them? Er, is he over there climbing one? I think he intends to fly one....?

Fumiko: Aruzebeth!!

Shinpachi: Fumiko-san!

Fumiko: What's going on here?! Why are they launching so soon...?

(Sfx- Hah hah)

Shinpachi: There's actually a lot to explain there...

Fumiko: Oh no...if I had just a bit more time, I could have stopped the Gunsam in their tracks.

Shinpachi: Seriously?! What did you do in such a short time?

Fumiko: Well each unit has their leader....

And each Gunsam has a certain factor that they carry with them into combat.

Shinpachi: And this would be?

Katsura: Amazing...Vader won't even see this coming!

Okay then! Here I come Elizabeth!!

Gunsam!

Sortie!!

(Sfx- Foooooh fwoooosh)

016

(Sfx- Dooou fwoooosh)

Katsura: KATSURA

LAUUUUUUUNCH!!!!

(Sfx- Doooon Booom)

Fumiko: As for what I did...

I guess I planted a bomb.

017

(Sfx- Gogogogogogo rmmmmmble)

(Sfx- Gogogogo rmmmble)

{Ka....}
{KATSURA'S FLOWN STRAIGHT INTO THE AFTERLIFEEEEEEE!!}

{What is it.}

{Sir, one of the units that launched just spontaneously combusted.}

{What?!}

{Could it be that the rat I cornered had allies....?}

(Sfx- Kaaan kaaan claaang claaang)

(Sfx- Bata bata tmp tmp)

018

{A Spy!!}

{There's an earthling spy on our ship!!}

{Ceasefire on the sortie!!}

{We'll give those rats a bloodbath!!}

{Don't let even one of them escape!}

Fumiko: At any rate, we've managed to stop them.

Shinpachi: At the cost of one of our friend's lives, sure.

Fumiko: But how strange...

The bomb I placed in that Gunsam wasn't nearly this powerful.

It's almost as if that explosion was induced by something else....

Kagura: Hm? Have a look here.

Shinpachi: Th---

What is that?

019

Gintoki: Hey Tatsuma.

{Search for them!}

Gintoki: You're supposed to be a business man right? So how'd you learn to use a gun?
Sakamoto: I'm a bit of a pacifist,

so slicing heads off is a big no-no for me.

Gintoki: So your head and arms are useless then?

{You bastards...}

{That's the general's room.}

{What are you doing?}

{We're messengers with an important bulletin for his excellency.}

{What? Did you find the spies?!}

{No...}

Sakamoto: The samurai...

Gintoki: Have come to keep your stinkin paws off our planet.

(Side text- The samurai are fierce!!)

GINTAMA LESSON 356.................END.