Gintama 358

Oh c'mon Sakamoto. Mutsu's pretty cute, and you totally seem to be into abuse. Well you'd have to be, since you like Ryou, and she's friends with Tae.



{Ka....}

{Zura-san...}

(Side text- The Kabukichou Shitennou arc has come to its end!! The TV anime airs every Monday evening at 6 pm only on TV Tokyo!! The cover of volume 40 is very Chori~s-ish! Get your copy when it hits stores on July 4th!!)

(Side text- For the sake of friendship!!)

GINTAMA
SORACHI HIDEAKI
Lesson 358: Empty Star.

{Not Zura, but Katsura.}

{Uh...why are you hijacking my thoughts?}

{Why are you here?}

{When I told you not to look for me...?}

{Why are you here?}

{When you would have been happier forgetting me?}

{Why...}

002

{Why...}

{Am I crying?}

{Certainly this must be akin to when a parent notices their child has fallen, and in concern comes to their side, asking 'Did that hurt?' As the child begins to cry.}

{It seems we're having a really pointless newtype conversation....}

Katsura: ELIZABETHHHHHHHH!!

{Katsura-san!!}

(Sfx- Doooon fwoooooom)

???: You little rats...

Have taken the bait....

(Sfx- Pishii pishiii crackle crackle)

003

Vader: I've been waiting...

For this moment!

(Sfx- Pishii pishii crackle crackle)

{Self repair?!}

{H—He's a robot?!}

Vader: FIRE!!

REDUCE THESE MICE TO SPACE ASH!!

Mutsu: Dammitall! The fleet's going to.....WE HAVE TO HURRY!!

Kagura: It is no good! We will not make it!

ELIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!

(Sfx- Dododdododo thooomthooomthooom)

(Sfx- Gahhhh fwooom)

004

(Sfx- Gogogogogogo rmmmmmble)

Kagura: Elizab.....

(Sfx- jijiii zzzt)

005

Vader: Yo---

You fools...

What is the....

meaning of this?!

Katsura: N—no way....

Shinpachi: The fleet....
They opened fire on...

Lord Vader?!

???: Lord Vader...

The only one here alone is...

006

Sakamoto: You, buddy!

We're fashionably late Zura! Sorry for keepin' ya waitin.

But Renhou-earth alliance is in the house ya'll!

Katsura: Sakamoto!

Vader: B---Bastaaaaards!!

{It is just as you said Lord Vader.}

{To you, we're just tools to be used to invade Earth.}

{But those Earthlings....}

{Said for our people, there's no problem lending a planet or two}

{To them...}

{Friendship is a treasure that can't be replaced.}

007

{Even if we were to fight at length and win against the Earthlings...}

{A place without a single friend is no promised land.}

{You Samurai remember the promise you made to us, right?}

Sakamoto: Sure 'nuff! Just tell us what planet you want to erase, and it's on!

Renhou: Then, along with the ally that protected our second home...

(Sfx- Gara gara clatter)

Renhou: And our pride as Renhou,

And single handedly protected our friends..
With our friend....

Can you destroy...

That empty star?

Sakamoto: Oh is that all?

Ain't nothin, dude! After all we formed the alliance, rule no.1 was playin by space uno rules!

Rule no. 2 is when you guys come over, we ain't playin nintendo, but Super nintendo as long as ya want!

You feel me? Our bonds are deep, brah!

(Cartridge- Actraiser.)

008

Shinpachi: So you basically just bribed them with a copy of Actraiser!! What the hell are you going on about with a Renhou-earth alliance then?!

Sakamoto: All right ya'll! We do this, and we'll have an Actraiser bonanza!

(Sfx- Oraaaaaaaaaah!!)

Shinpachi: More over, what the hell is wrong this planet? It took one copy of actraiser for them to betray their leader?!

Mutsu: Hmph...

In the end, what gets people moving isn't war or ideals....

But profit, and the bonds between others...

He's the only guy who would make such a massively stupid sales pitch.

Fumiko: Eren...

Us Renhou....

Couldn't take over the earth after all...could we?

Yet, it doesn't feel as if we've lost anything...

In fact, it's more like we've gained something much more incredible than Earth.

{Katsura-san...}

Katsura: There's no need to speak.

We only tried to do what had to be done...

Striving to choose a path that wouldn't shame the other.

009

Katsura: There really isn't a need to apologize or to bid farewell.

But if you insist on saying something then...

{Thanks Bunny.}

Katsura: AC~~

(TN- I explained this in 353, but Arigatousagi is 'thanks bunny' and AC is a commercial for teaching children greetings.)

Katsura: LET'S GO ELIZABETHHHHHHHH!!!

WITH OUR ALLIES FROM EARTH AND THE COSMOS WE CANNOT LOSE!!

(Sfx- Jakiiiin sheeeeeeeen)

Katsura: FIREEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

(Sfx- Gakooo clank)

(Sfx-Dododododododo thtootoooomm)

010

Vader: I---IDIOTS!!!

FOR FOOLISHNESS LIKE 'FRIENDSHIP', YOU'D DESTROY YOUR HOME PLANET?!?

IN THE VAST DARKNESS KNOWN AS SPACE....

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN SURVIVE WITHOUT A HOME?!

YOU NEED ME, AND YOU NEED THIS PLANET!!!

(Sfx- Dooouuuu FWOOOOM)

(Sfx- Gyaaannnn pwsheeeeeeen)

Gintoki: We ain't got a problem giving you that craphole planet.

In fact, it'll make a great cemetery for your robot ass.

011

Gintoki: YOU'RE GOING TO DIE HERE ALONE!! NO ONE WILL REMEMBER YOU OR CHERISH YOUR MEMORY!!

DIE AN EMPTY DEATH IN YOUR EMPTY STAAAAAAAAAR!!

(Sfx- Goooohhhh THOOOOOM)

Vader: THE ONE WHO WILL DIE IS YOOOOOOOU!!!

DAMNED SAMURAAAAAAAAAAI!!!

(Sfx- Doooouuu Fwoooom)

Gintoki: ORAAAAAAAAH!!!

(Sfx- Gagaaaaah thooothoooom)

012

(Sfx- Dodoooon thoooom)

(Sfx- Kahhh sheeeeen)

(Sfx- Gohfaaaaaaah THOOOOMM)

013

(Sfx- Gogogogogoo roooommmmble)

???: Did we get him?

The star...

It's crumbling....

{It isn't crumbling at all..}

Katsura: What?! What do you mean?!

Vader: Heheheheh...

HAAHAHAHAAHAH

014

???: I warned you, that nothing would change even if you were to defeat me....

(Sfx- Goooouunnn fwooom)

Katsura: Wha?

???: Even that fool Lord Vader was no more than...

A means to an end for my grandeur!

(Sfx- Gooouuuun claaaack)

(Sfx- Gogooooon thoook)

???: In fact....it wasn't just him...

But every single peon that became leader and tried to take control of this star...

All of them have been mere toys for me to control!

(Sfx- Gakoooon thooom)

???: Have you not yet realized it?

You're not picking a fight with a person.....

BUT AN ENTIRE PLANET.

I WILL BE YOUR OPPONENT!!

(Sfx- Zuuuun doooooooom)

015

Katsura: N---NO WAY!!

The star itself....

Has become a giant Renhou!!!

{Vader, you ridiculous bastard....you couldn't have...}

Katsura: Elizabeth?

{What we're seeing now is the Renhou's cerebral control system, 'Sagi'.}

{It appears to be the true form of Vader...no...every one of the leaders who have reigned over the Renhou.}

{A great war ransacked our planet, and we were forced to live upon this star of iron.}

{It was around this time that Sagi came into exsistance.}

{A cerebrial system that adjusted the environment of this star, and calculated each and every possibility that would allow our people to live and above all thrive.}

{Eventually, Sagi gained self awareness, and created leaders to govern us.}

{These leaders would enforce Sagi's will....tools that would allow it to spread our species all around the universe.}

{At some point, Sagi oppressed us under the guise of providing 'law' and 'order.'

{We became nothing more than soldiers without the freedom to speak or even think.}

016

{Us Renhou were...}

{Born from Sagi.}

{In Sagi's eyes, we are as empty and expendable as the leaders it gave birth to.}

{No more than machines that can be mass produced.}

{It wants to find a suitable planet, and roost there, so it can continue to produce more Renhou.}

{But now it's tools have rebelled against it.}

{So Sagi has no choice but to awaken and deal with this problem itself.}

{With it's other tools openly betraying it, it will use the one thing it has in it's arsenal....the planet itself.}

(Sfx- Doouuuuuuuuuu fhooooom)

(Sfx- Dodododododo thothohohoooom)

Sagi: FUAHAHAHAHAHA!!

I have no need for defective merchandise!!

(Sfx- Dododooou thoooomm)

Sagi: Since it has come to this, I'll take the earth for myself!!

017

Sagi: If I combine the Gunsam techology with the ultimate weapon 'White Lucifer'....

The earth...no...the UNIVERSE will be in my grasp!!

The true Renhou will be an army that I will sculpt myself!! You defects will be treated as the trash you are!!

Then the TRUE Renhou will pave a path into power and prosperity!!

Sakamoto: Gahahahaha!!

Well hot damn! I made a promise to destroy a planet, but I didn't figure we be fightin' one!

(Sfx- Donnn boom)

(Sfx- Pusu pusu crackle crackle)

Sakamoto: Awwright, time for round 2! White Lucifer VS White Perm!! It's a bout not to be missed ya'll!!

Gintoki: Who the freak's 'white perm'?!

(Sfx- Gaan thok)

Gintoki: Who the hell is stupid enough to fight an entire friggin' planet?!

Hey guys! Loo what I found!! A blood red jackass with triple the massive stupidity power!! We should totally send him into combat.

(Sfx- Gan gan gan thuk thock thock)

Sakamoto: If we don't do somethin soon, tha planet's over with Kintoki! Listen, you and me go raid the Smile cabaret, and ensure that earth still has warriors in the future!

Gintoki: Dude, we neither have the time or the want for your offspring to take over! We need a solution like, yesterday!

Sakamoto: If we get our groove on at triple speed, we'll be allright!

Kagura: What kind of pathetic things are you saying?

Mutsu: That's why men are sickening. As soon as trouble hits, their hips and a lot of other things get floppy and unreliable.

018

Gintoki: Excuse me?! Who the hell are you calling floppy huuuh?! Bet my hips would break yours in half like a damn telephone book!!

Mutsu: Yeah, right. I have no idea what you're talking about, and I can't say I care. You're on the Kairinmaru right?

Gintoki: I'm about to board you, ya blond haired skank! Don't mess with me!!

Mutsu: That's good then. The Kaientai managed to get out of there just in time. We're right above you...

So lets get an emergency combination plan together....we still have one more hope.

If we intend to save both humanity and the Renhou, this is our only choice.

Sakamoto: Wait, what? Oh heeeeeeelll no. I don't want to shack up with you and have no kids! I can do better!

Mutsu: Close, but no cigar.

(Sfx- Pakiiin Click)

(Sfx- Pih beep)

(Sfx- Viii viii weeooo weooo)

Gintoki: The hell is this?

(Sfx- Gooouuun foooom)

(Sfx- Viiin veeeen)

Gintoki: Uh, dude, hate to break it to you but your ships are sorta transforming.

(Sfx- Gogogogogo rmmmmmble)

Sakamoto: The hell? That ship's changing too!!

HEY MUTSU! WHAT'S GOIN' ON, AND WHY DON'T I KNOW NUTHIN ABOUT IT?!

019

(Sfx- Nuoaaaaahhh)

(Sfx- Gogogogogo rmmmmble)

(Sfx- Gashiiii doof)

(Sfx- Zuoooo sfooosh)

(Sfx- Jakiiin clannng)

(Sfx- Zuooo fwooosh)
(Sfx- Jakkkinnn claaaaaaaang)

(Sfx- Gofooo fwoooom)

(Sfx- Gashihhiin claaaaaaaaang)

(Sfx- Gakiiiiiiin thoooooom)

Mutsu: The correct answer...

has nothing to do with making kids.

But 'shacking up' to form...

Merchant Fleet robo Kaien!!

(Side text- The robot's advent!!)

GINTAMA LESSON 358................END.