Gintama 359

Any merger involving a giant robot should go smoothly, I think.



(Side text- A magnificent combination!!)

GINTAMA
SORACHI HIDEAKI
Lesson 359: Business transactions are fierce battles.

(Sfx- Gogogogogo rmmmmmble)

Katsura: Th...

That's...

R—Ridiculous....

Just what is...

That Giant robooooot?!

(Sfx- Doooooon doooom)

Mutsu: That giant robot is earth and the renhou...

No, the entire universe's last hope.

It's name is....

002

Mutsu: Ultra Space business fleet robo...

Kaien!!

(Sfx- Gakiiiii sheeeen)

Shinpachi: ULTRA SPACE BUISNESS FLEET ROBO MY ASS!!

Tell me, does it make any sense for space merchants to have a fleet that doubles as a transformer?!

Mutsu: It's not like there's a universal standard for doing business in space.

It's easier to just modify our ranks on the fly. If we meet a giant alien that needs some goods, we have a giant robot to make the sale.

Shinpachi: I don't want to hear about standards from YOU! The standards here are so flimsy, that it's become a different manga!!

Sakamoto: Hey Mutsuuuuu!! What the hell do you think yer doin to my cute lil Kairinmaru?!

As tha captain, you know yer supposed to come and talk to me about stuff like this! I mean this ain't no small mat—ma—ma...

Mooorph!!

(Sfx- Pih beep)

(Sfx- Bishaaaa blisssh)

(Sfx- Gyahhhh)

Mutsu: All right. When you stop hopping around to cabaret clubs around the galaxy, and spend more than five minutes on the ship, I'll call you captain.

Until then, you're editor in chief.

(Sfx- Gakoooon ka-clack)

(Sfx- Aaaaaaaaaaah!!!)

003

Mutsu: All right everyone....godspeed.

Crew: Yes captain! Good luck!

(Sfx- Zath sft)

Shinpachi: They've totally given up on Sakamoto-san, and are calling her captain!

Mutsu: Well, lets get moving.

Shinpachi: Say what?

(Sfx- Gagoooon ka-clack)

(Sfx- Dogeshhi thoook)

Shinpachi: Nguh!!

Where is this?

(Handwritten- And where is Kagura-chan?)

Mutsu: Have you all found your pilot station okay?

Let me explain things....since Kaien is a pretty big guy, we've had to divide him up into six parts.

Each one of you will be responsible for controlling one of these parts.

Kagura and I will move the left and right foot respectively, which takes care of the bottom half.

Shaggy and shaggier will control the right and left arms, taking care of the top half.

Gintoki: I doubt you women even know how a mans bottom half works! When you're below the belt, it's like dealing with an unidentified mysterious animal!!

Mutsu: No need to worry. That part is being taken care of by that exhibitionist woman.

Shinpachi: And for what reason would someone need to take control of a giant robot's crotch? (Shin)

004

Mutsu: This is it. The only way we're getting through this is if everyone concentrates on piloting Kaien.

We're going to destroy Vader....no that whole planet, return to earth, and fest it up.

Shinpachi: Um, excuse me...

That pep talk was really awesome and all...

But I don't have anywhere to control....

Is there anything I should be doing?

Mutsu: Oh sorry, I forgot.

Um..lessie...you can be in charge of....

His pimple.

005

Shinpachi: PIMPLES AGAIN?!

DO ROBOTS HAVE THE CAPABLITY TO GET PIMPLES?! HOW THE HELL DOES THIS MAKE SENSE?!

Mutsu: Kaien mirrors human movement. So all you need to do is make like a pimple.

Shinpachi: IT'D BE EASIER TO JUST SAY I'M USELESS THEN!!

Sakamoto: Aww dude, a pimple? Well, Kintoki you know what that means....I gotta scratch away at this thing until...whenever. You can handle the fightin' and stuff right?

(Sfx- Pori pori scrtch scrtch)

Shinpachi: YOU DON'T NEED TO DO THAT!! QUIT GETTING IN OUR WAY DAMMIT!!

Gintoki: Dammitall. Fine, lets do this then.

Sakamoto: Awwright! We'll make this our final liquidation sale!!

Mutsu: We're gonna haggle our futures back.

Kagura: Everyone!! You are ready, yes?

Everyone:HERE COMES.......

(Sfx- Bakomuuu veeeeeen)

(Sfx- Hahah)

Everyone: KAIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!!!

(Sfx- Dogoooon thoooooooom)

006

(Sfx- Dogaaaaaaaaan thoooooooooom)

(Handwritten- Aaaaaahnnnn~)

Shinpachi: KAIEN GOT OFF A LITTLE TOO FAST!!

We haven't even started, but something important feels like it's already been finished!!

Mutsu: That exhibitionist woman went right on his face!!

Sagi: Fools....you released too early and right on my face....

(Sfx- Gogogogogo mmmmmrrrmmmmble)

Do you think that paltry techniques from cheap porno magazines and videos...

WILL BE ENOUGH TO STOP ME?!

(Sfx- Gahhh FOOOM)

Gintoki: IT'S COMING!!!

SOMEONE, ANYONE DO SOMETHING!!!

Sakamoto: Er...so um, who does what?

Gintoki: WHO GIVES A SHIT?! JUST DO ANYTHING!!


007

Everyone: BY OUR POWERS COMBINED!!!

(Sfx- Gahh sheeen)

Everyone: NOW IT'S OOOOOOOOOOON!!!

Sakamoto: G'day there, buddy! I'm Kaien, manager of Kaientai sales division!!

(Sfx- Kuwaawa fwip)

Shinpachi: OUR OVERWHELMING STUPIDITY ENDED UP COMBINING!!

(Sfx- Dofuuuu fwooooom)

(TN- His business card is upside down...)

Shinpachi: We dodged it?!

Thanks to the miracle of exchanging business cards, we just barely managed to avoid being turned into laser fodder!!

008

Shinpachi: AND WHY IN THE WORLD IS HE TRYING TO GIVE OUT HIS BUSINESS CARD NOW?! (Shin)

Mutsu: 'Cause Kaien is a businessman. His role is to make business transactions with giant alien life forms, and not spacewarfare. (Mutsu)

Shinpachi: So, how are we supposed to fight a planet again? (Shin)

(Sfx- Dodoooon thooom)

Shinpachi: HERE COMES THE SECOND WAAAAAAAAAVE!!

(Sfx- Oooooooooooh fwoooooooom)

Mutsu: Business transactions ARE a form of fighting. Let me demonstrate. (Mutsu)

Mutsu: Let's go, Kaguraa!!

(Sfx- Zatsh sfft)

Kagura: Yessir, Mucchi!!

Mutsu: Ultra space merchant cardinal rule one....

(Sfx- Gahhh sfft)

(Sfx- Dodododododo Tmtpmtpmtpmtp)

Mutsu: Being able to manage is the foundation of business!! Work hard and profit!!

009

Mutsu: No matter how much you are spurned by their words and hated by their actions....

Don't give up, and definitely don't let them see your tears!

Just keep moving.

(Sfx- Doooon foooom)

(Sfx- Oooooraaaaah!!)

Mutsu: As long as you keep running....

Your perseverance will eventually reach their soul!!

(Sfx- Doooon fwoooom)

(Sfx- Oooooooohhh phweeeeee)

(Sfx- Gopaaaaan thooooooom)

010

Shinpachi: You guys kicked those missles back!!

Kagura-chaaan!!

Mutsu-san!

Kagura: You losers will take care of the rest...

From here, yes?

(Sfx- zazaaah sssssh)

Shinpachi: Kagura-chaaaaan!! Mutsu-saaaaaaaaan!!

Sagi: EVEN IF YOU TRASH HEAPS FIGHT ME NOW...

(Sfx- Guaaaaaaaah vwwwwwweeen)

Sagi: THERE'S NOT A DAMN THING YOU CAN DO!!!
SURRENDER TO ME!!!

(Sfx- Goooaaaah veoooooom)

(Sfx- Gogogogogo rmmmmmble)

Sakamoto: Ultra space merchant cardinal rule two!!

011

(Sfx- Gogogogogogo rmmmmmble)

Sakamoto: Makin yer way into the client's soul ain't an easy matter at all, even if yer in their good graces!

Oh, they'll glare at ya, and distrust ya!

No matter how many of your pitches are pitched,

Don't go givin' up, and definitely don't go showin' em your tears!

Keep your heart and mind open, don't close 'em up!

(Sfx- Meki miki grrnnd grnnnd)

(Sfx- Gyuraaraaraa grrrrrrrrrrnd)

(Sfx- Goaaaaah thoooom)

Shinpachi: Sakamoto-saaaaaaaaaaan!!!

Gintoki: It's when death is staring you in the face that you'll find your answer!

(Sfx- Oooooh fwoooooh)

Gintoki: You'll find yourself knee deep in a blood bath....

012

Gintoki: But there's always a sliver of light if you look for it!!

(Sfx- Gohhh thooook)

(Sfx- Dokaaaaan thooom)

Shinpachi: Gin-san!!

(Sfx- Doraaah crackle)

Gintoki: Pattsan...

Show 'em what samurai are all about.

(Sfx- Zazaaah szzzt)

Sagi: You little fools....

Through those little tricks, you may have severed my arms...

But I daresay you're in no better shape than I am!

You actually left your fates in the hands of a pimple?!

Your lives and this meaningless struggle ends here!

013

(Sfx- Kath sheeen)

Shinpachi: Ultra space merchant cardinal rule,

number three!!!

(Sfx- Dofuaaaaaah fwooooooom)

Sagi: R—Ridiculous a mere pimple is....!!

(Sfx- Viiiinnn veeeeen)

(Sfx- Gaaan kachunk)

Shinpachi: In order to open one's heart.....

YOU MUST FIRST OPEN YOURS!!

(Sfx- Gagooon thunk)

(Sfx- Gashiii veen)

(Sfx- Gakooon tthathunk)

014

Shinpachi: A poster board or a picture play....

can't convey these feelings...

(Sfx- Gogogogo rmmmmble)
Shinpachi: Only a person's bare words...

will suffice.

(Sfx-Gogogogogogo rmmmmble)

Shinpachi: This one is for the Renhou's freedom...

Peace and harmony on earth and throughout the universe.

Dude: And three servings of actraiser a day!

(Sfx- Gahh chack)

015

Everyone: Most of all friendship....

And for a brighter tomorrow....

Sagi: B---

BASTARDSSSSSSS!!!

(Sfx- Oooooohhh fwooooohhhh)

(Sfx- Zushaaa dssssh)

016

(Sfx- Bushiiii dssssh)

Fumiko: Everyone's happily come to the same conclusion....

So there isn't much of a reason for you to resist.

Come with us, Sagi.

(Sfx- Boko boko bubble bubble)

Sagi: Why are you here?!

This is impossible!!

That first missile assault back then was for this....!?

Fumiko: I had to, so that I could keep everyone safe from your barrage.

Sagi: N—No way....you don't intend on the two of us dying here together do you...?!
(Sfx- Dododoo dsshhh)

Fumiko: I don't regret anything.

We have a place to go now,

Even if we were to lose this planet.

017

Fumiko: A planet overflowing with smiles and positivity....

From those that we can call friends.

(Sfx- Boko boko bok boko bubbble bubble bubble)

Sagi: YOU WENCH!!

Fumiko: It's only fair after all...I've shown you things that no one else has ever seen.

So this time....

Its your turn to put something very important on display~.

Sagi: No...

STOP THAT!!

(Sfx- Gogogogogo rmmmmble)

Fumiko: You boys better take a good hard look.

'Cause this is Fumiko's last show~

018

Fumiko: Take a good hard look...

Right inside me!~

(Sfx- kah fwaaaaash)

???: T—that's the planet's center......!!

Everyone: Fumiko neechaaaaaaan!!!

Fumiko: Eren...all of you...

Thank you for helping me complete my greatest masterpiece...
(Sfx- Gogoogogo rmmmmmble)

Fumiko: With the cosmos as my canvas...

I can put on a picture show where us renhou and you earthlings create an unshakable friendship....

I can count on you....

to help me finish it, right?

019

Everyone: ORRAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!

(Sfx- Gakoon clank)

(Sfx- Dooon fwooom)

(Sfx- Doooooooon THOOOOOOOOOM)

(Sfx- Kahh SHEEEN)

(Side text- A final shot with friendship riding on it!!!)

GINTAMA LESSON 359..............END.