Gintama 362

I'm only here for the color page. That is all.




(Side text- The TV anime is on the air! In celebration of the first DVD being released have a center color page!!// Check out the TV Anime every Monday at 6pm on Tv Tokyo!!// The latest volume of the manga #40 is out in stores everywhere! Show your bravery you boyfriends! 'Oo Edo Gintama land in Ooedo hotspring story' has opened! For more information check out the Ooedo hotsprings Home page! The first DVD of the anime hits stores this week! For more info check out the next page!)

(Side text- Summer is dazzling! The beaches full of energy! Take advantage of the positive vibrations!!)

GINTAMA
Sorachi Hideaki.

002

Lesson 362: Are you a bon bon sorta guy? Or a koro koro sort of guy?

(TN- They're both kids manga magazines, neither of which runs in Shuiesha, oddly.)

???: Huh? You're gonna stop being a host?!

Kyoushirou: Yes...I plan on stopping the host business and starting a hobby model shop.

I've already decided on what to name it... 'Pramo Kyoushirou'.

Shinpachi: What are you saying, Kyoushirou-san?! That's not interesting at all! Moreover if it's a joke, no one is going to get it!

Kagura: It is so. At least you should open a mini four wheel drive store. You will name it 'Dash Kyoushirou' That will be good, yes?

Shinpachi: NO ONE IS GOING TO GET THAT EITHER!

(TN- Old kids manga.)

Kagura: Why would you do this? You are Kabuki-chou's number one host. Has your silicon nose gone bad?

Kyoushirou: Well...I guess in several ways, I've reached my limit.

And as such, today will be the last time I have any customers....which is why I called you guys...Yorozuya-san.

003

Gintoki: Hey now, your face is showing a lot of signs of having a deeper anxiety.

If you want to keep your car on the road, you're going to need to add more weight to it....maybe that'll keep things stabilized...

Shinpachi: We're not talking about mini four wheel drive cars any more!! Hachirou-san, what's going on here?!

Hachirou: It has to do with madam Yagami....

Kyoushirou: Hachirou!!

Hachirou: She's a natural born Edoite playgirl...a mistress of mystery.

She has an inclination for intoxication, and takes control of cities that have lots of late night action.

Those who can control the lady can control the cities of night...she's a customer with influence.

It's as if a goddess of fortune has descended on the city of night.

Wherever she steps, fortunes spring up, and money rains from the heavens. Moreover once she visits a city, she never returns to it.

Just like a night goddess.

The other day, the madam visited this city...

More specifically the Takamagahara.

004

Shinpachi: What?! Something as amazing as that happened....

Gintoki: Wow, so it's sorta like if a mini four wheel fighter appeared appeared during a competition?

Shinpachi: Why are you making such a weird and rare comparison?!

Hachirou: Obviously those in the city of the night we celebrate such an auspicious occasion.

We threw together the grandest party we could muster, all for the Madam's sake. So she would see just how wonderful this city is.

But as the Madam was leaving,

She said this to us.

Madam: I'll see you next week...

Same time, same place.

Shinpachi: Wh...whoa! Isn't that good news?!

She's never gone to the same place twice right? So a promise from her to return is great!

Hachirou: No...not quite.

The Madam's own power is drawn by the cities she visits.

However, its the shops she takes an interest in that end up in dire straights. That intimacy spells disaster.

There is a reason to dread her return visits....

005

Hachirou: For anytime she returns to a city it falls into ruin...

Tomorrow she won't be a goddess of fortune...

But a shinigami that will descend upon and destroy this town.

Shinpachi: Wh—why?! Why would the shops she takes interest in have such a fate?!

Gintoki: It's cause she's one of Damiya's scouts...it's lowdown to say, but it's probably the truth.

Hachirou: I have no idea why things end up this way, but it's our fate now.

There's not a whole lot we can do against a play girl sent form the heavens...

Shinpachi: That's why you're getting out of the host biz? Now that I look around, the other hosts aren't here either.

Hachirou: Yes...everyone's running scared now that they know of the Madam's second coming.

Kyoushirou: My deepest apologies... we've done nothing but cause this city trouble.

But if bringing down my business is what will save this town, then I'll do it. This is part of a host's responsibility.

006

Hachirou: But that doesn't change the fact that she's coming.....what should we do?

Kyoushirou: We've got no choice but to act on our own.

Hachirou: Just us? That's just looking for the madam's wrath...

Kyoushirou: That doesn't matter.

We have to act, no matter how dangerous the Madam might be.

Gintoki: How many people?

How many more will you need after this?

If it's hunks you need, we're right here.

(Sfx- Shubobo fwooosh)

Gintoki: After she's here...

we're gonna have a ball getting all that cash she has...

manager.

007

Gintoki: Listen up!! We're gonna need as many saint hunks as possible to take down the Madam! Scout any one of them you can find! Just do it~!

Shinpachi: OK, at the risk of my life.

Kagura: An easy matter wheww!

Gintoki: Listen up, the foundation for your scouting should start above the lowest line or the 'Bronze saint'. If possible aim for the highest line or the 'Silver saint'.

Kagura: Sorry but I don't get your foundation~ wheww!

Gintoki: Anyone under the hunkiness level of Hashidzume Isao isn't allowed.

Fujida Makoto is a good start, but even his hunkiness level is well below what we're looking for.

(Right side- Bronze Saint// Hashidzume Isao// Left side- Silver Saint// Fujida Makoto.}

Shinpachi: Aren't you leaving aside most of humanity then?! There's not much of a difference between the bronze and silver lines is there?!

Gintoki: You may even find a Gold saint out there while looking through the others....if so bring him here.

Of course, we should keep in mind that anyone hunkier than us is a big no-no. We don't want the girls to feel pressured or anything.

Shinpachi: What kind of hunks do you want us to bring then?!

Gintoki: Whatever, just go!

Kyoushirou: Um...excuse me, Yorozuya-san...

I'm glad you're helping and all...but being a host isn't as easy as you're making it sound.

I won't say that the appearance isn't important, but more than that is what's going on within them. I'd really appreciate it if you didn't just bring anyone here with you...

008

Gintoki: Are you saying that all I've got is my face? That I'm not a man who can hold a conversation?

Kyoushirou: I didn't say that. I mean your face is fine and all...

Gintoki: In short, you want someone who's a hunk but is a good person deep down, and can carry a conversation, right?

Yeah I got it. Don't worry, I'm going to find just what you're looking for.

Hasegawa: Gin-san. I heard that you have a job for me to do? Who do I need to talk to?

(Sfx- Zaahhh dooom)

Kyoushirou: His appearance is much more paper thin than I thought!!

Wait a second! Isn't he a cardboard saint?!

Hasegawa: It's not all cardboard...see look! I've got a few foreign newspapers and other items to make a collage of hotness! And since i'm not wearing a shirt it's like totally a hunky suit.

Kyoushirou: No matter how you rationalize it, it's all wrong! Who's going to be turned on by you?!

Hasegawa: Sorry manager, I wasn't really ready for an interview...but I hope this is host enough for you...

Kyoushirou: You can't possibly think that you're going to be a host looking like that.

Hasegawa: I tried to make my outward appearance look as cool as possible...but it's my insides that count...I'm an J leaguer inside, a real dandy man. Pleased to meet you.

Kyoushirou: You've got a sponsor on your back, and a good luck bracelet on your neck...I can't help but think that you're more like a stalker than anything.

009

Kyoushirou: U—uh... Yorozuya-san?

I know the circumstances are less than ideal, but this is going to repel customers...not bring them in.

Gintoki: Oh the reception? Don't worry your little head on that. I've already got that line handled.

I've got a newbie for that role....he's pretty used to handling the reception, and guess what? He's totally a hunk.

Well... the appearance is more like a neutral point, but he's more manly than anyone I know.

(Sfx- Dogooooh thooook)

Tae: Who's a manly hunk dammit?!

Shin-chan, want to explain what's going on here?

Why am I dressed like a miner looking for Hideyoshi's hidden treasure? Is that why I'm here?

(Sfx- Meki meki grnnd grnnd)

Shinpachi: That's not it sister! You're not looking for hidden treasure! But we're trying to get our hands on a certain person's money! That's why we asked you to come...

Tae: Don't screw with me...you expect me to work at a host club?!

(Sfx- Gyahhhh!!!)

Kagura: Isn't she the manliest?

Gintoki: Listen to me Otae! You're much more suited to working in the host club than a cabaret! In fact I think you were born the wrong gender to begin with....you're more host than....

(Sfx- Goshaaaa THOK)

010

Kyoushirou: Please calm down Otae-san! I'm the one who called you here, but not for that!

I just needed some advice for handing the ladies...and I could only think of you!

Tae: Hm?

Kyoushirou: I mean everyone knows that if it's cabaret girls in Kabuki-chou, that you have no equal.

If possible I'd like you to model for us....if you were to do that, I'm sure plenty of men would come running!

Tae: Oh, you! Don't go on like that Kyoushirou-san! I'll blush!

(Sfx- Goh thok)

Tae: A model? Me?

Hasegawa: Manageeeeer!!

Tae: Do I know any guys? Well I can say that I don't not know any....so letsee who I can call.

Kondo: Ah, Otae-san...you rang?

Tae: A guy that no one called showed up!!

That 'Oh I just got your call and came running' face is pissing me off!!

Kondo: Hahah...I already fully understand the situation Otae-san. You're afraid that if I become a host that I'll start hanging out with other girls, so you were hesitant to call me. But guess what? I've been hanging outside this panel just waiting for my chance to appear.

Gintoki: What panel were you hiding behind?! You need to head back there and stay there, stalker!!

011

Kondo: Don't worry Otae-san, there's no way I'll be swayed by any other girl than you. I have no eyes for any other women.

So no one else can tempt or steal this heart.

Isao is your one and only hostalker.

Tae: No one will ever want you to steal their heart! You damned creepy host!!

Gintoki: Hostalker? Sounds like a plan to me. This guy just said he doesn't mind being a car. Pile your luggage on him!

Kondo: No! That's not what I meant...

Kagura: We've almost got enough people. You can go now, yes? Wheww!

Kyoushirou: Um...excuse me..

Gintoki: You can go home and get some rest, boss.

Kyoushirou: I think I should do one last suitability check before I leave.

Gintoki Suitablitiy?

Kyoushirou: Yes, after all a host will need to talk to lades won't he? That's his job.

You should all get together and try to lead women to come to the shop.

Even if you have lots of people, if you can't do that, it's useless.

012

{Hmm...}

{Being a host isn't acting alone, it's all about working a system. A play if you will. It's not just about serving customers...}

{What's most important is having back up from your partners. You've first got to play the role of leading the lady back to the shop.}

{For that it takes a team effort.}

{Each person has to cover the other. There's no I in hostdom.}

{Now let me see you all in action.}

{The target is that girl.}

(Sfx- Don bump)

Hasegawa: My bad.

Girl: It's my fault too...sorry.

{Starting a conversation by means of accident? That works, I suppose...}

{But in order to keep this going, the others have to act quickly.{'

Hasegawa: Um, excuse me...

But I noticed that something fell from your back.

013

Hasegawa: Wings...

{No, it's your wings that have fallen offff!!}

Girl: Kyahhhh!!

{Because they bumped into each other, his cardboard cloth is falling off!! Someone follow up! Please!!}

???: Um excuse me...

Kagura: That is...

Mine.

{What kind of follow is thaaaaaaaaaat?!}

{More like, that's yours?!}

Hasegawa: Um no..I was trying to get the attention of that angel over there...
Kagura: No I am the angel.

Hasegawa: But you have no proof...

{Who cares about that! Someone else please follow up!!}

Officer: What are you two doing?!

{Oh man, the police have gotten involved!!}

014

Shinpachi: Use rock paper scissors...

to decide.

{YOU TOOOOOO?!}

{You guys are all gathering in the wrong place!!}

Kagura: Ah, yes. Let us use that to decide...who will go first?

{What are they doing?! They've all come out to play games?!}

Girl: But I'm not an angel...

{That's right?}

Shinpachi: It's fine...you can still join in.

Girl: But I'm really busy..

{Now she's trying her darnedest to leave!}

Shinpachi: But we're already about to start...

(Sfx- Gah fwap)

Girl: I'm telling you....

I am...

Not an angel, dammit....

(Sfx-Bariiiii riiiiip)

{She's here tooo?!}

015
{So what exactly was accomplished by this?!}

Everyone: We're sorry!

{Did you all come out here to act out a play or something?!}

???: Tee hee..

???: Heheh..

Gintoki: Those people sure are weird, aren't they?

Girl: Truly they are.

{Th—that's...!!}

{Sh—she's...}

{The real deal?}

Girl: Oh..I'm sorry..

Gintoki: Oh no, I should be sorry...I'm the one who started talking to you.

Girl: Well..I should be going...

Gintoki: Please, wait a moment.

{So that whole play was to create an opening in that girl's heart?}

Gintoki: I think you dropped this....

they're not wings though...

{So this is a huge accident?!}

016

Girl: What's this?

(Card- Takagahara host club: GIN)

Gintoki: Ah...sorry...

It's just, I guess....

I want to talk to you some more.

(Sfx- pori scrith)
{Moreover, he's used the accident to create a daily life drama situation?!}

Gintoki: That is of course if you wouldn't mind.

Whenever you have free time, you should come and have a good time with this no good host.

{And he's using an almost forceful invitation, by watering down his unseemliness?}

Girl: Y—You're a host?

Gintoki: No..

Maybe I'm really a devil..

See ya.

{He's totally showing off his badboy side!!}

Girl: Um...

That is..

I guess a little while wouldn't hurt...

If not just to find out more about you...

M—may I come with you?

017

Gintoki: You are welcome to follow me to the leisure lounge for angels...

Takamagahara.

{She took the baaaaaaaaait!!}

{Could it be that their terrible play actually had the reverse effect?!}

{Th—hey completely planned the whole thing!!}

{These people...there's no way they could be this good!!}

Gintoki: It's close by so lets get going.

But of course I can't have an angel dirtying her feet by walking...

{Maybe we might stand a chance against the madam after all!}

Gintoki: Now please get on.
(Sfx- Kiiii reeee)

Gintoki: What's the matter? I've prepared a hostalkar for you.

(TN- See, in Japanese Hostalker sounds like 'hostcar' hense the pun.)

Gintoki: It's a feeling beyond compare to ride this.

Now don't go running wild there.

Hey, wait a minute, not there.

You're taking me to a completely different leisure lounge...geeze..

(Sign- Hotel: Nest of love.)

Gintoki: No helping it, let's take a break there for a bit.

018

(Sfx- Dokaaa thunk)

Girl: Excuse me officers? Can you help me?

That host there is a weirdo.

(Sfx- Vieeen)

Hijikata: What's their crime?

Did they break the law?

Girl: Yes.

They broke the law by being weird hosts.

(Side text- Next week too, you should just do it!!)

GINTAMA LESSON 362............END.