TOKYO DEPARTMENT WAR MEMOIR Oneshot : Tokyo Department War Memoir

(In best Rocky from 'Rocky and Bullwinkle' show voice.) And now here's something we think you'll REALLY enjoy. Translation 500!



(Side text- A raid!!)

TOKYO DEPARTMENT WAR MEMOIR

Dude: The one piece!

(TN- Dress. Not the thing Luffy's looking for.)

Dude: The red one piece dress is cominnng!!

001

(Top text- A splendid gaudy delusion that's beyond the heavens!! The anticipated one 35 page one shot from Matsui Yuusei is here!!)

(Side text- Welcome to the paradise you wished for~)

TOKYO DEPARTMENT WAR MEMOIR
MATSUI YUUSEI

(Side box- If you like this, you should also read Majin Tantei Nougami Neuro. All 23 volumes are out in stores.)

002

{Tokyo district 23 has seen it's share of war.}

{It is a world where food and even clothing...}

{Are scare, and in high demand.}

{In the middle of this district...}

{Is a department store that pierces the heavens.}

{If one were to go there, they could get anything they desired.}

003

{My name is Yuzuko. Today I was going to the department store to buy something~}

{To be precice, I came to buy a 'wristwatch'.}

{But it looks like...}

{I'm going to be eaten by a one piece dress.}

Dress: Ma'am!

The cost for this is one death please!!

004

Yuzuko: Uwaaaaaaaaah!!

Dress: Gah!

005

Dude: I finally got it...

A material made with pride....

Weclome!!

Is there something you'd like to buy, milady?

{Here in the department store...}

{I met a guy so golden he actually glows.}

006

Dude: Hm?

Those clothes....I like that color.

Yuzuko: Y—you do?

Ehehe...

Does it suit me?

Dude: Strip em off.

I....I....can't live without them!

Yuzuko: HE'S A SICKO!!

Dude: Oh c'mon. I did just save you and all! Be grateful!

Yuzuko: Noooooooooo!! Don't take them off!!

Dude: You should be happy I'm even interested in them.

Yuzuko: THE SICKO'S TRYING TO KIDNAP MEEEE!!

007
Dude: Seriously...?

I thought they were a great color, but this is dullsville.

These clothes look so worn out. The grand value is a big fat zero.

Rejected.

Yuzuo: THAT'S MINE!

Dude: Your clothes suck, and you've got no weapons...

Say...

This wouldn't be your first time in the 'department store' would it?

Yuzuko: …..

Yeah.

Dude: Do you know where you are?

Do you know what kinds of things are in this department store? What kind of place this is?

Yuzuko: I do.

008

Yuzuko: It's the wilderness department store.

The owners have been in ruin for years now...

The security system they built was pretty awesome, but then it went crazy....

And the mannequins and products became ferocious, turning this into hell on earth.

009

Dude: Yeah...

But because of that,

The ferocious goods fetch one hell of a price.

{Dino Raptor frilly one piece dress. Made of platinum ester and 20 carat diamonds. Each decoration was placed with care, and even now it is a high end product. Worth 3,980,000 yen.}

(In heart- Buyer's number one choice! -I want it, I want it so bad....If only I could wear it. Guheheheh...)
Yuzuko: Amazing...

So this is the rumored goods sold in this department store...

It's like looking at the surface of water....I've never seen anything like this before.

Ah...

Dude: Yup. There's no chance that anyone on the outside would be able to make this kind of material.

But this place is no walk in the park.

{So pretty...}

010

Dude: I'm stocking up.

Yuzuko: Eh?

Dude: Unless you can defeat the products here, you won't be able to get them.

I would think that almost being killed just now would have illustrated this point.

What you 'desire' is what I say..

So in exchange I have to 'stock up' so you'll buy it.

That's what...

Wilderness salesmen like me do for a living.

Yuzuko: Wilderness....salesmen?

011

Yuzuko: But...

I don't have too much money...

Dude: Oh, no worries! I don't want money....

I want...

'Desires' irrespective of age, gender or any other discrimination.

Now, lets be off.

Yuzuko: HE'S A SICKO!!
{His 'desire' is more important than his life....so that's why as a wilderness salesman he can jump into danger...!!}

Dude: Now tell me...

What do you want?

{Can I really make a deal with a guy like this?}

012

{But...}

{But...there is something I want.}

Yuzuko: I need a wristwatch....

To give my daddy as a present.

His got messed up because he saved me from a landmine....

It was a precious wedding gift,

So I thought at least I could come here to the department store, and get a 'high grade' one.

Dude: Allrighty Madam.

I'll choose a classy one for you.

013

Dude: Look there. That's where the wild watch stores are located.

Their wild cog-wheel dictates their movements...

So they have to gather here for their food.

Yuzuko: That's a wristwatch?

The cog-wheel is pretty big...

014

Dude: The bigger they are, the better they sell.

Yuzuko: Why?

Dude: Here in the wilderness department store, all kinds of surprising products have been created.

So you're often having to create your own mother of pearl to make ends meet.

Yuzuko: And that means?

Dude: What the body of a product comes down to is having a unique function and design. The better those are, the more you can rake in.

And the best way to ensure that is to raise your own products.

So huge living organisms like him are prime examples of new models.

Products like that have a great chance of continuous evolution.

Yuzuko: So you want to go for that one...?

Dude: But of course! It's the biggest.

So it goes without saying that this one is the boss....

015

Dude: Oh, so he comes from behind huh?

I'd expect no less from the boss...he doesn't take trespassing on his turf lightly.

016

Monster: Sir!

The cost for this is one death!

Dude: Ah...

Yeah, I'm fresh out of that.

Monster: Let us negotiate then!

We can start with....

Your final moment!!

Yuzuko: Uwaaaaaaah!! It's firing at us!!

Dude: Uhahahaha!!

Take one of those, and it's game over!!

017


Yuzuko: Ah!

We can run into that opening!

There's no way that big robot will be able to fly into that little space!

Dude: Madam, I'm beginning to think that...

Your request may be a little too pricey.

Yuzuko: Eeeh?!

Dude: Apparently that thing has the ability to transform.

That huge machinery has been really well maintained.

018

Dude: Not good....get away!

(Sfx- Hah hah)

Dude: Dammitall...

It busted up my guns...

019

Dude: Hey...

You wouldn't happen to carry a stun gun with you?

Yuzuko: No...

Why?

Dude: It's wild, but still a huge watch. So a strong electric wave would stop it in it's tracks.

I don't have my gun, and it's looking like close combat is going to be the best course of action.

Oh well. I'll have to use these industrial strength toy batteries then.

Yuzuko: He wants to fight a close combat battle with THAT?!

And with industrial strength batteries?!

Hey, listen...

You don't have to do this.

I can buy a cheap one...

I mean, a cheap wristwatch from the outside...

All I 'desire' is a wristwatch.

I couldn't live with myself if you were to die because of that.

Dude: I see...

You're concerned for my safety and want me to give up?

020

Dude: No way!

If you don't want it, I sure as hell do! Lucky!!

Yuzuko: Say what?

HEY!

THE CUSTOMER IS WORRYING HERSELF TO DEATH ABOUT YOU AND YOU'RE GOING TO IGNORE MY REQUEST?!

Dude: But...

What you 'desire' is for me not to die, right?

Yuzuko: ...Yeah.

Dude: Weeeelll there are things I want even if it means I'd die.

I want everything. Money, women, wristwatches...you name it, and I want it.

There's no stronger 'desire' than getting what you want, right?

021

Yuzuko: I don't really care...

Madam...

What is it that you truly 'desire'?

I'm sure it's not something you can easily shrug off...right?

Monster: Sir, I take it you want this transaction to be close quarters...

Shifting to 'reception mode'....

022

Dude: I have no need for thoughts besides those of what I 'desire'.

It's heart throbbing, brain itching, and even a little bit of a turn on.

Anything else is a minor distraction. Thoughts I don't give the time of day.

Madam, Am I wrong to assume...

That you'd risk your life for something you didn't truly 'desire'?

Why else would you come to this department store? To what extent do you want a wristwatch for your daddy?

023

Dude: Whoa!

He's fast!

Scared of a little electricity?

{Daddy's treasure?}

{Without a doubt, it's this wristwatch.}

{Your mother had it specially made for our wedding anniversary.}

{The faceplate has a picture of daddy's tools of the trade.}

{Sure, it's cheap, but there's nothing in the world that means more to me.}

{I wouldn't even give it to you!}

024

{Daddy!}

{Your watch!!}

{Are you okay, Yuzuko?}

{I'm not important!! Daddy, your treasure is...!!}

{What are you going on about?}

{My treasure is here and unscathed. Thank goodness.}

{See..}

{You know better. My treasure is right here.}

{Okay?}

{It's not that I want to apologize...}

{Or to make up for what I did.}

{I dunno how to say it...}

{I just want to give something to my daddy.}

{That's why...}

025

Dude: Whats the matter?

Don't you want this wristwatch?

Yuzuko: Y-yes...

I want it...

Dude: Ooh?

And why's that?

Yuzuko: The reason doesn't matter!

I WANT WHAT I WANT!!

Dude: That's right madam....

That's what 'desire' is all about.

026

{Industrial strength electric battery. 1 thousand kilowatt electrical shock power. Worth 80,000 yen.}

Dude: It's an industrial strength battery, made for you wilderness types!

If you walk into that, you're gonna be in for a world of pain.
027

Monster: Si...

Iiiiiir...

Dude: Aww, don't pout...

My customer happens to desire you...

So cheer up!

028

029

Dude: A huge mannequin like you needs a security tag to keep from going crazy.

To protect the product from getting lost, the moment it vanishes it goes in here.

Here you go, Madam!

Yuzuko: This is...

The wild department wristwatch?

Dude: Open it up.

030

Yuzuko: Wah!?

It's changing....

Into a watch’s shape?!

Dude: That watch has the ability to transform into what you want.

Moreover it's first class material.

It won't stop even after a million years...and even if someone were to drop a bomb on it, it won't break.

Oh and the design....

031

Yuzuko: This is...

Daddy's...
portrait!

{Custom made wristwatch. It will scan the brain of the person who opens it and take form of the last thing they thought about. Worth 6,600,00 yen}

Dude: Feelings of desire are strong enough to become reality.

It's all because you said out loud what it is you desire.

Dude: The flavor is totally awesome....

Give it.

{I think I understand a bit..}

032

{Why this guy wants absolutely everything.}

Dude: Feh.

Stingy brat.

{Whether it's big or small, pleasant or unpleasant...}

{He desires everything with all of his heart.}

Yuzuko: Ah..

Um..

How much is this...?

Dude: Hmm....

How about 20 years?

Yuzuko: Wah!

{But...}

{That's why there are wilderness salesmen...}

033

Dude: That one piece dress is one size fits all...so you can wear it until you're grown up.

Here's my bill.

When you wear that to your marriage interview, I'll expect payment in full!

(Paper- Bill of sale. Wristwatch 100.000.)

{That's why there are..}

{Customers like me who 'desire'...}

Dude: Now shall we go?

….

On second thought, strip off the dress.

{There's something more beyond what can be seen..}

034

{Beyond that, to what shines brilliantly..}

{Clothes.}

{The body,}

{And ambition...}

{The brilliant radiance of a wilderness salesman...}

{Will always be in stock at the department store.}

(Side text- May all our 'desires' sparkle!)

TOKYO DEPARTMENT WAR MEMOIR........END.