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Translations: One Piece 901 by cnet128 , Gintama 679 by kewl0210

Kintama 1

Nobody with a Straight Perm is a Bad Guy

+ posted by Bomber D Rufi as translation on Oct 8, 2011 04:08 | Go to Kintama

-> RTS Page for Kintama 1

-_- >_< O_o >_< O_O >_< O_O!!!!

Hi wa mata noboru only.

(Side text- ☆The TV anime airs every Monday at 6pm on TV Tokyo!!)


(Sfx- gararara clattter)

(Side text- The protagonist appears?)

Gintoki: Hey, 'm back guys~.

Heeey~ Gin-san said he's back home, dammit.

Can't you jacakasses at least come and greet me, huuuuh?

Lesson 372.

Gintoki: ............

Unfriendly bunch, ain't they?

Guess they're sulking because they haven't gotten any screen time for a while.

(Handwritten- They were waiting on the bench for about the length of one volume.)

(Sfx- Hikku hick)

Gintoki: Man, that's what I get for not givin' the kids attention for a minute.

Hey~ Shin-chan, Kagura-chan, mornin'! How you guys feelin'~

Thank's so so much for house sitting for such a long time!

(Sfx- Gararara clattter)

Gintoki: See, I even got a lil' present to cheer you up! Who wants Shinsengumi manju...?


Shinpachi: Geez, what have you been up to?

You're late!

Kagura: We should hurry and get ready.

A customer has arrived, yes?

Gintoki: Yeah. My bad, my bad.

(Handwritten- The hell...? They're actually not mad?)

Shinpachi: Hurry up,

Kagura: Kin-chan,
Shinpachi: Kin-san. [These two are in the same bubble with different fonts]

Gintoki: Kin-sa...

???: Yeah. My bad, my bad..

(Sfx- Warariii shfft)

???: I drank a wee bit too much yesterday.

My head's throbbing.

(Sfx- Zazarahh sddsh)

???: Sorry for keeping you waiting, sir.

And for showing you such a sorry sight.


???: I am the boss of the Yorozuya...

Sakata Kintoki.

Please have a seat,



Lesson 1: Nobody with a Straight Perm is a Bad Guy

(Side text- ☆Something's a bit off from the usual...?)


Gintoki: Sorry...

Looks like I made a mistake.

(Sfx- Gararara claaater Picha)

(Sfx- Bishaah dsh.)

Gintoki: Well damn. I got so trashed that I charged into the next door manga and started breakfast.

Man, that freaked the shit outta me.

I didn't know Jump had started a new series like this.

Though I could really smell the stench of cancellation in the air, I wonder if it'll be okay?

Man, nobody's had the stink of death hanging around them right in their first chapter since

back when we here at Gintama first got our start. Those buzzard editors were already circling around even before the first chapter hit, 'You're still young, so you'll have another chance' they said.

Maybe I should've given them some advice. Like "make some special techniques" and stuff.

Even the title 'Kintama' was like too friggn' vulgar.

Somethin' more stylish like 'Kin no Exorcist' would have been better.

See, they've gotta have a little brother with an extremely forgettable face covered in moles, or selling a million copies is the fevered dream of a madman.

And that heroine...If she's going to be a brat, might as well make her small enough to be mascot sized.

(Handwritten- Sadasadaharuharu)

Gintoki: If she were to dance a crazy dance with the dog, they'd be set.

But the biggest certified failure it that protagonist....What's that smooth form of his supposed to be?

That straight perm won't leave an impression on anybody! If he really wants to be a jump protagonist, he needs a natural perm! Natural perm's where it's at!


Logo: Kintama

Gintoki: In any case, I could swear that I've seen those guys somewhere before.... despite this being a new serialization.

Eh, whatever.

(Top text- KINTAMA.)

Gintoki: Time for me to go home.

Sign: Yorozuya Kin-chan
Snack Otose

{...Where is home?}

{...............................Hold on a second....this isn't the booze talking at all.}

{The sign up there is definitely different...... but there's no mistaking it....THAT'S MY HOUSE!}

{This ain't Ao no Exorcist or even Aka no Exorcist, dammit! It's just Moron an Retard no Shittycist!}

{And those two, without a doubt, were Shinpachi and Kagura!!}

{And sure the 'Gin' in the title has changed to 'Kin'...}

(Written- KINTAMA.)

{They upped the level of the title, but content-wise they've gown lower than low...}


{This dim-witted writing style, there's no mistaking it. This is...}

{the work of the author-gorilla of Gintama!!}



{This guy...}

{This smooth gold-haired straight perm guy...}

{Who the hell...}

{Is Sakata Kintoki?!}

{Just for a little while...}

{Eve though I only left the house for a tiny little while...}


{What is this?!}

(Sfx- Gararara clatter)


Shinpachi: That guy here earlier....I wonder who he was?

Kagura: He had an atmosphere about him somewhat like Kin-chan, yes?

{Over there...}

{Sitting upon the throne of protagonistdom...}

Kintoki: You think?

I'd never let my hair end up all frizzy like that though.

{Gin's tama has become...}

Shinpachi: Yeah, you're right.

After all, your hair and your personality have been naturally straight ever since you were born, Kin-san.

{Kin's tama?!}

TN- One of the kanjis in "throne" (玉座) is pronounced like the "tama" he is saying, which here means... a whole bunch of stuff like "ball" and "king".

Shinpachi: So....

You you really didn't come here to make a request, then?

Or is it because you came right back, because... it's a request that's really hard to talk about?

Kagura: Don't worry, just go ahead and say it. We are the Yorozuya. If there's someone who needs help, we'll always help.


Gintoki: ......Oh~ Is that so~?

Well then, I'll spill my guts to you~

See... what had happened was... I left home for a while, and when I got back...

My house and everyone in it had gone crazy.

Or rather, the whole manga went crazy.

And now, I lost my place being the protagonist.

Shinpachi: Hmm. I see.

Kagura: It is like a man going on a business trip, and finding his wife with another man upon his return, yes?

Gintoki: Yeah, it's like that. Some weird guy that I don't know is wearing my bath robe and raiding my fridge, and scarfed down all of my pudding.

Kagura: That must be irritating, yes?

Gintoki: Yes, it is. Makes me want to beat him to death~

{You goddamn ultra-moral slutty nympho apartment wiiiives!!}

{I go out for a little while, and you not only let the slutty salesman in, but fuck him in my room?!!}

Shinpachi: Well, anyhow, we're making the client request form. Could you give us your name?

{What the hell is going on in your heads?!}

{They've actually completely forgotten...}

Gintoki: It's Sakata Gintoki.

Kagura: Ooh! His name a lot like Kin-chan's, yes?!

It is almost as if you were twins separated at birth!

{who the actual protagonist is here!!}


Otose: Watch it, you two...

If he end ups siblings with a guy like this, he's the one who'll have some real trouble on his hands.

{Even the hag forgot?!}

Kintoki: Hey now, granny... that's harsh.

Catherine: Absolutely. Everyone knows that silver is way better than gold.

Kintoki: You too, Catherine?

{Even Catherine?!}

{I leave for a bit, and everyone...}

{has jumped the wagon from Gin to Kin!!}

{What the hell is thiiiiis?!}

{Did you sell all forty volumes worth of memories with ol' Gin-san at Book Off, you bastards?!}

{Somehow, that bastard has managed to steal...}

{How did you blot out......}

{40 volumes worth of memories of me, bastaaaard...?!}

(Sfx- Toku toku drip drip)

Kintoki: C'mon now. Have a dink. Gin-san, right?

We may not be connected by blood or anything,

but men are connected when they have a drink together.

I'm siblings with everybody in Kabuki-Chou who's drank with me.


Kintoki: If you ever have any problems, just give me a holler, brother.

{He's a way better protagonist-y than 'ol Gin-saaan!!}

Kagura: As expected of Kin-san!! That is why I love you so!

Shinpachi: You're da man, Kin-san!

(Sfx- Dakyuu glmp)

Kintoki: Okay, wanna get going?

{They all love him more than ol' Gin-san!!}

Otose: Hmph, you're a good-natured guy, so don't unreasonable.

Kintoki: Oh yeah, just to be safe, I should leave this.

This month's rent.

(Sfx- Bosaaah dpfft)

Otose: Hold on now, I don't remember making it this high.

Gintoki: Hey now. Don't start start acting senile now.

And while we're at it, why don't you forget about work once in a while and take a dip at an onsen?

Otose: I'll pray for your safe retuuuuurn~

(Sfx- Kan kan)

{He's got gold in that way, too!! Just what you'd expect from friggin' Kin-saaan!!}


{It's so briiiiiiiiight!!}

{He's like a friggin' supernova!!}

{Has my dull silver light been swallowed up by this golden radiance?!!}

{Is that why everyone's forgot about Gin-san and become infatuated with Kin-san?!}

{Are you...}

{Freaking serious!?}

{I've done my damned hardest over these forty volumes!!}

{If you line all of them up, Tamo-san could sleep on them, with space to spare!!}

{I have no friggin idea where he came from, but he hasn't even put a hot pepper's worth of effort in!!}

(Sfx- Patan clp)

{Tamo-san's sunglasses couldn't even rest on this! This is still just "Hirunan Desu"!!}

(TN- Hirunan Desu is a different Japanese TV Show.)

{Yet he's still so popular!}

Guy: Hey Kin-san!

Girls: Kyahh! It's Kin-san!

{He has such a presence...}

{In the few weeks...... In such a miniscule period while I wasn't here... he's eaten up my role!!}

{Has this town... No, this manga been repainted from silver to gold?!!}


{There... isn't a single person in the city that remembers me!!}

Kintoki: All right, brother... time to get down to business.

You want us to punish your wife? Or ya want us to set some boundaries with the guy she's cheating with? Which is it?

Ginoki: .............It's neither.

Kintoki: Eh? Then whatcha want?

{It won't be gold or silver...}

Gintoki: More importantly, I need someone to help me carry these 40 volumes...}

{I'm going to dye this town in bright red!!!}

Gintoki: Ah! My bad dude!! It's just that there are 40 whole volumes so my hands slipped!!

(Sfx- Dogooooh thuuud)

{I hope you bang your head on the corner of these 40 volumes and you diiiiie!!}

Kagura: Kin-chaaaaaaaan!!

Shinpachi: Hey! What are you doing!?

{If I let this guy live, I dunno what crazy shit's gonna happen!!}

Gintoki: How about 170 volumes of Kochi-kame?!

Shinpachi: Stop it, please!!

Ginoki: Or 60 volumes of One Piece?!

(Sfx- Goh goh thod thod)

{No matter what it takes, I have to protect my throne as protagonist... no, the whole manga!!}


Shinpachi: What part of 'knock it off' didn't you understand?!

(Sfx- Goh thok)

Gintoki: Buhohhh!

(Sfx- Gahaaaan craaaaash)

Shinpachi: What're you doing to our Kin-san?!

(Sfx- Para para clatter)

Shinpachi: You're the worst!

And even though we've never seen or met you before, Kin-san was going out of his way to give you a hand in your time of need!!

Gintoki: W-Wait a sec, Pattsuan!!

You haven't not seen or met me before!!

You... You couldn't have seriously forgotten me...?

Shinpachi: Who the freak is Pattsuan?! Don't act all friendly with me!

Who the hell are you, anyway?!

Gintoki: Th...This isn't true, right, Kagura?

You're just pretending, right?

I blew you guys off a bit and you got mad, so now you're blowing me off?

Come on, you're just putting me on again...

Kagura: Go away!!


Kagura: Do not come near this town again.

If you ever appear before Kin-chan again... I will not forgive you.

Gintoki: W...

Wait, Shinpachi, Kagura!!

Just who is this Kin-san, Kin-chan guy?!

The three of US are the Yorozuya!! Right!?

Are you saying that....... these 40 volumes we've spent together

don't mean anything to you?!

Shinpachi: What are you talking about?!

(Sfx- Hyuuuu spnnnnn)

(Sfx- Para para flap flap)

Shinpachi: The one we've been with for forty volumes with is...



{A samurai?!}

Kintoki: Shut up with all your yammering...

It's damn annoying. What is it, mating season around here? Bastards..

Shinpachi: Kin-san.





{No---no way...}

(Sfx- Pufu pufu pufu fwooof fwoof foff)

{Thi---thi---this is...}

{Wh-Who--who did this...!?}

{Who would go about revising the series more than Yabuki-sensei does with To LOVE-RU......?!}

{This volume, too!!!}

Tae: Is that man okay?

Look at that outrageous natural perm... maybe we should try to help him?

(Sfx- Hiso hiso whisper whisper)

Kyuubee: No, better not. It might be a new type of nat-perm-nat-perm scam...

You know what they say, let a sleeping natural perm curl.

(TN- This is based on a Japanese phrase, usually translated to "Let the sleeping dog lie." Literally, the phrase means "An untouched god casts no curses.")


Tae: Is it really a good idea to leave him alone like that...? Oh! I know, let's go ask Kin-san.

I'm sure Kin-san and the others will know what to do!!

Tae: Sounds like a plan. I don't know how many times Kintoki has come through for us. If it's him, he'll come up with something for sure.

{This volume, too.}

(Sfx- Nuuh swfft)

Sacchan: Gue~ss who~!

Gintoki: You... Could it be...

You remember...?

Sacchan: Who are yoooooou?!

(Sfx- Gotsh THOK)

Sacchan: How strange...

I thought that I saw Kin-san for sure...

{And... Th-This one..)

(Sfx- Garagara thunk)

Tsukuyo: How 'bout this, Hinowa? This's the city where Kintoki and the others, Kabuki-Chou.

Hinowa: Really now?! It's just like Yoshiwara.

Seita: Isn't it? There's curled hair falling all over the place!!


{This too...?}

Katsura: We must make haste, Elizabethhh!!

The techniques we've polished these last few months,

(Sfx- Zutakata dfft ddft)

Katsura: we've got to see what Kin-chan thinks of them!!

Placard: Aim for the Kasou Taishou!

(TN- The Kasou Taishou is a semi-annual Japanese TV show where people perform skits.)

(Sfx- Gesjhiii grnnd)

Gin: {..........}

(Handwritten- More like... what took him so long?)

{This isn't a cute simple matter of them just forgetting about me...}

{My existence.... from this city...}

{from these 40 volumes, have been completely erased!}

{All that Sakata Gintoki has ever done....}

{The proof... that I was alive...}

{Has been stolen by someone looking just like me...}

{Sakata Kintoki!!}

KINTAMA LESSON 1..............END.

(Side text- From this week on, the new serial, 'Kintama' begins?!)

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10 members and 13 guests have thanked Bomber D Rufi for this release

NeoSapien, kewl0210, Rinslet, Goral, Oni_James, mayora13, dioxin999, ragnell93, Tiranofrome, nightastronomer

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#1. by Goral ()
Posted on Oct 8, 2011
Why is it "Kintama 1" instead of "Gintama 372" ? If I haven't visited your profile I would have missed it.
#2. by Bomber D Rufi ()
Posted on Oct 8, 2011
The chapter title is both 'Gintama 372' and 'Kintama 1'. I decided to keep the joke going and list it as 'Kintama 1'. I'll probably re-load them as Gintama once this arc is finished, unless that's too confusing to everyone.
#3. by Arhazivory ()
Posted on Oct 8, 2011
lol. What the hell? Sorachi does it again.
#4. by NeoSapien ()
Posted on Oct 9, 2011
Did Tsukishima branch out from Bleach to other manga or somthing?
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