Gintama 382

-Has totally not done any Christmas shopping for anyone.



(Side text- New years appears from nowhere....)

(Side text- The TV anime comics Gintama Sorachi Hideaki 'SELECTION' Various 'intellectual' smart gag version is in stores everywhere!!)

GINTAMA
SORACHI HIDEAKI.

Lesson 382: Seems talk of otoshidama usually results in an outburst of toilet humor.

Kagura: Gin-chan, Gin-chan.

An Otoshidama...

I can have one now, yes?

(TN- Otoshidama are gifts of money to children. They usually are given in small decorated envelopes on New years day.)

002

Gintoki: And where did you hear such filthy language young lady?

It's not ladylike to say such things, I've said that before.

Kagura: But everyone is talking about it, uh-huh.

They are saying on earth adults give children otoshidama at the end of the year.

Gin-chan, what are otoshidama?

Aiyah~

I want one too. You will give me one, yes?

Gintoki: ….You really want one huh?

Kagura: I do.

I am not sure what they are, but I do want one.

Gintoki: ...I only hope...

You won't regret it.

Kagura: Eh?

Gintoki: Are you truly prepared to accept an otoshidama?

Once I give you an otoshidama you have to be prepared for everything and anything.

You do understand, right?

003

Kagura: You exaggerate.

It cannot be that serious.

Yes? Gin-chan.

(Sfx- Potata dripdrip)

Kagura: Gin....

(Sfx- Gashaaaan thuuuud)

Kagura: Gin-chaaaaaaaaaaaan!!!

Are you okay, Gin-chan?!

(Sfx- Buru buru shiver shiver)

Kagura: Get a hold of yourself!

Gintoki: Guwah...

Kagura: Wh---What is going on....

GIN-CHAAAAN!!

(Sfx- Gorooooohhh blooooorsh)

004

(Sfx- Boto boto droopdroop)

Gintoki: T---

Take them...

The...these are your...

Otoshidama.

(TN- Ngh. This is why I would have just localized it, but because some want complete accuracy...Okay. Otoshidama means 'New years ball or treasure' while Gintoki's 'Otoshidama' is written as 'Falling balls'. Same pronunciation, different meaning. Japanese is a punny language after all.)
Kagura: Gi---Gin-chan..

What are these?!

What are these 'otoshidama' supposed to be?!

Y—You cannot mean....

You are giving me your most precious...those important....balls?

Gintoki: ...It's fine.

I knew this day would come eventually.

To be straight up with you, I was really scared the whole time we've known each other...that someday you'd say that word...'otoshidama'.....

And then our daily lives would be destroyed beyond repair.

005

Kagura: I---I'm sorry Gin-chan!!

I knew nothing! I did not know otoshisama would be this troublesome!

I do not want these! I don't want something like this! I have no need for your mystery balls!

So please, Gin-chan...

Gintoki: Kagura....an adult giving you an otoshidama can't just 'take them back'. This is reality.

Kagura: Gin-chan!!

Gintoki: You know...I told myself no matter what happens I'd give you an otoshidama.

Now that the deed is done, I can't turn back.

(Sfx- Gobaaahhh doooosh)

Gintoki: Overcome my..

No the corpses of adulthood.

Kagura there are seven of those balls scattered worldwide.

To gather them you'll have to search all around the world for an illusionist hidden treasure

The legendary treasure you'll find after gathering these balls can grant the wishes of children.

It's the treasure ball....otoshidama.

Yo-you can do it...i know you can...

For my sake..

Kagura: Gi—cha...

GIN-CHAAAAAAAN!!

006

Kagura: AS IFFFFFF!!!

(Sfx-GOPAAAH THOOOOM)

Kagura: Hey, what is the treasure ball?

You just do not want to give me an otoshidama, yes? Why would you give me something so grotesque instead?

It is the year of the dragon, but I have a trauma now!!

(TN- Dunno if I'm right, but TraUMA has the word for UMA in it...or horse.)

Gintoki: Oh so you already knew huh? People sure do suck.

Kagura: It is because you tried to force rules onto your joke! Of course someone would figure it out!!

(Sfx- Para para Clattter clatter)

Gintoki: But it's just so hard to gather the funds for a real otoshidama. Maybe you should try to understand that much before bitching at me.

Kagura: I do understand! I understand that people do not vomit up white balls and then ask others to understand their feelings!

Gintoki: I can't help it. It's because my body is full of treasure balls. I thought I could at least drop one in in the hands of some poor brat..

(Handwritten- Hey! It's been a minute.)

Kagura: That is just a pachinko parlor!!

Gintoki: It's a place where treasure balls come out all day long. You can eat them and drink treasure broth there.

007

Kagura: If you like balls dropping so much, about about I....

Shinpachi: Geez, the year's barely started and you guys are already at it?

Happy new years everyone!

Here you go, Kagura-chan.

Kagura: !

What is that?

(Envelope- Otoshidama Kagura-chan.)

Shinpachi: What is this? Well obviously since it's the end of the year, we give out otoshidama right?

Kagura: Ooh! Seriously? Shinpachi, you are amazing yes?!

Shinpachi: Hahah, I can't take all of the credit...it was sister who told me to bring this over.

Kagura: I see! Yahoo!

Shinpachi: I don't really expect to get an otoshidama at my age.

Eh, well I guess to sister I'm always going to be a little kid.

In any case I want to grow up to be someone like her.

That in a time like this when money is necessary they're able to pony it up.

Kagura: That is so. We should hope to not become the type of adult who will spit up white balls when someone requests an otoshidama, yes?

Shinpachi: You're right about that. There's nothing sadder than an adult who can't even pay out an otoshidama at the end of the year. I hope I never end up like that.

008

Gintoki: Heeey!! You guys are trying to screw with me ain't cha?!

Why the fuck am I the only one without an otoshidama?!

Shinpachi: THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE PISSED ABOUT?!

Knock it off at once Gin-san!

This isn't about you getting something, it's about you giving!!

Kagura: Sometimes you should at least fake being a leader type character!
Gintoki: What the hell are you talking about? I'm a man. Of course I ain't gonna actually drop my balls for you.

(TN- Tama ni can mean 'sometimes' which is what Kagura said, and it can also mean 'balls' which is what Gintoki heard.)

(Sfx- Ban thunk)

Shinpachi: Here, use this.

We figured you'd try to fool us so we quietly saved some money for a time like this.

Kagura: You should use this and show people you've got your good points.

Shinpachi: At least once, be a leader that we can boast about to others.

Gintoki: You guys...

Kagura: We will expect you to return the interest.

009

Gintoki: Thanks guys~!!

All right, for everyone's sakes I'll take this chump change...

And return with three times....

(Sfx- Doooonnn BOOOOM)

Seita: Ah!

It's Gin-san!!

Are ya out givin' people new years greetings?

Gintoki: The hell you mean, 'greeting' ya bastard?

In all honesty it ain't even new years in this magazine.

We're just trying to approximate the time of the year so we can do a shitty story about otoshidama.

Hinowa: An otoshidama? Eh? For Gin-san?

Tsukuyo: Hinowa!!

Hinowa: We have to move quickly and close the ceiling of Yoshiwara!

???: Yes ma'am.
Hinowa: Prepare for an emergency, and inform the citizens that a shock wave could occur.

Gintoki: What the freak are you guys so scared of?! Do you want me to kill you?!

010

Seita: All right! Gin-san's 'ere to give me an otoshidama!! Sweet!

Tsukuyo: What's goin' on wit you? You about to kick tha' bucket? Is this yer bucket list?

Gintoki: Shut the hell up! The brats wanted to come here so here we are, dammit!

Hinowa: Isn't this great Seita?

Seita: Sure is!

Shinpachi: See? Isn't he happy?

Doing stuff like this isn't bad once in a while, right?

Gintoki: Shut it. This is enough right?

Hinowa: Sorry about this...Oh! I know! How about I give you an otoshidama as thanks for everything you've done?

I've got just the thing to return the favor, Shinpa-san, Kagura-chan.

Tsukuyo?

(Sfx- Gogogogoouun rmmmmble)

(Sfx- Gahhhh sheeen)

Tsukuyo: Seems like this is the only decent thing we got around.

A few days ago, we were lookin' through Housen's storage and found a giant golden pole and balls.

Seita: And lookie here! I got a golden abalone for my otoshidama!

(Handwritten- Ain't it pretty?)

Seita: Hey Gin-san, what did you bring fer me?

(TN- An abalone has the reputation as being known as a...vagina. Golden balls and vagina. Never change Sorachi. Never change.)

Seita: Hey, is it golden?

Hinowa: He is 'Gin'-san after all, so a silver pole sounds about right.
Seita: No, It's gotta be balls!

011

Gintoki: How about I buy you some gentle on the skin silver colored paint?

(Sfx- Doooon boooom)

Gintoki: Yeah I'm drawing a blank. What do I do now guys?

I've got balls of gold, but all they have is a geezer's balls of gold.

Shinpachi: I'm asking you, why does it always have to be about balls?

Kagura: It is fine if they are wrinkled a bit.

Gintoki: That's far from being the problem here.

We dont' have a damn thing that's close to being like what they have.

Trading what we have for what they have is basically robbery.

Shinpachi: It's the thought that counts.

Gintoki: Then you tell ME what you're thinking right now.

Kagura: It is fine if they have fallen and are a bit wrinkled, yes?

Gintoki: THAT IS NOT THE FRIGGIN PROBLEM DAMMIT.

Um, yeah. About that guys....

???: Ahem.

(Sfx- Furi wfft)

Tsukuyo: Cough cough (I'll lend this to ya.)

Coughahem. (Just take this.)

{She's noticed our prooooblem!!}

{She's willing to rent out a golden pole to usssssss!!}

012

Gintoki: Couhghocoughehm. (Why the hell would we borrow money from you when we have none to pay it back?)

Tsukuyo: Coughohuh (I'm not lending it to ya, it's a one time thing.)

Gintoki: Hackackhough (I said we don't need your pity! How the hell can we take that with a straight face?!)

Tsukuyo: Haccckacoughogho (Quit actin' cool and take my money!)

Gintoki: HOOORUH (Don't go screaming it out to the whole damn world! Someone'll hear you!)

Tsukuyo: I'm tellin' ya that it's fine! Longer we keep this goin, more likely it is someone will find us out! (Ahem.)

Gintoki: COUGHGH (You've coughed the part you should have said, and said the part you should have coughed!)

Shinpachi: Heeey!! Gin-san and Tsukuyo-san have basically said their intentions out loud for everyone to hear!!

(Sfx- Gyah gyah rabble rabble)

Seita: Ahem.

Shinpachi: Seita-kun's already figured everything out! He's totally not impressed!!

Gintoki: Coughohuh (F-fine then. I'll take your money since you want me to so bad.)

Coughoh (Hows this, can anyone see us?)

Tsukuyo: Coughh (Right ova here, it's a pole ya know.)

Gintoki: Cough (A pole)

(Sfx- Munii squisshi)

Gintoki: Coughugh (This ain't no pole, they're balls.)

Tsukuyo: Ngahoughhh (THE HELL YA DOIN'?!)

Seita: Gi---

Gin-saaaan!!

Ah!

(Sfx- Bicha bicha blossh blisssh)

013

Gintoki: There.
Otoshidama.

(TN- Fallen balls kanji combination.)

Kagura: How many times are you going to let your white balls fall out huh?

Your otoshidama has calcified into a pair of broken down balls has it not?

Gintoki: Something like that ain't useful.

Shinpachi: They weren't useful from the beginning.

Gintoki: Can we just like, not do this any more? I ain't any good at giving out otoshidama.

Especially to people who's financial standards are far above our own.

Listen, you guys should know just how empty handed I am from the wages, or lack of them I pay you.

Shinpachi: Please don't talk about people with better financial standings when it's your fault we're flat broke.

Gintoki: Seriously though! This manga doesn't even have any kids in it.

All we have is an overabundance of old dudes who think like children.

Shinpachi: Otoshidama don't have to be for kids alone you know....

You can give it to an underclassman too...

Gintoki: I don't have any kouhai.

???: Gintoki-senpaiii!!

014

Katsura: I knew it was you Gintoki-senpai!

Ooh! Have a look at this! I just managed to find someone else from our nostalgic past!

Do you remember this fellow? He fought alongside us during the patriot wars!

Elisugi....

(Sfx- Gohhh Thuuunk)

Gintoki: And so that THING is supposed to be my kouhai?

(Sfx- Meiri meri meri mshh mssh)

Katsura: How rude! I can't believe you went and forgot him senpai! He was always trying to destroy the wold back then..

Gintoki: Yeah I'm fairly sure the guy I knew didn't use poster boards.

Katsura: Only a heartless monster would go and forget his kouhai.

Well, it's the end of the year so just giving us an otoshidama works.

Gintoki: Why the hell should I do that when it's obvious you guys are lying to me?! More like, would Takasugi even WANT one?!

Katsura: Hahahah, of course that hasn't changed has it, Zabesuke.

He's always been talking about seeing what you're up to...hey! He just asked, 'Gintoki-senpai will you give me an otoshidama?'

Gintoki: What the hell are you doing?! Putting words in his mouth?

Katsura: Oh yes, before I forget....here is my otoshidama to you, Leader....Shinpachi-kun.

Please choose whatever one you wish.

Shinpachi: Wow!

Kagura: Is it really okay, Zura?

015

Katsura: They are tickets to my patriot training seminar. You have the five thousand yen course and the ten thousand yen course ticket.

(Certificate- Patriot training seminar course. Thousand yen.)

Katsura: The five thousand yen course is a three day training seminar, while the one thousand yen course is for setting down foundations for patriotism. It is essentially the same as beginning the five thousand yen course but for those who don't have the five thousand to spare.

Both: THEN HOW ABOUT WE START WITH THIS FIVE THOUSAND COURSE?!

(Sfx- Gahgohogho thok thooom)

Gintoki: Like I said, let's stop this.

There's nothing good that comes from handing out otoshidama.

Or is it you're stubbornly trying to do this cause you said you would?

Shinpachi: I—It's not like that.
Gintoki: Then besides brats, kouhai and the affluent, who can we give these to?

(Note- Otoshidama please.)

(Sfx- Zah zah tmp tmp)

Gintoki: See, let's just stop this.

There's nothing good that can come from giving an otoshidama. Get it?

Shinpachi: It's not like that, okay?

Then besides brats, kouhai, and the affluent who can we give these to?

(Sfx- Zah zah sfft sfft)

(Note- Otoshidama please.)

016

Gintoki: SERIOUSLY LETS STOP THIS!!!

THERE'S NOTHING GOOD THAT CAN COME FROM GIVING AN OTOSHIDAMA GET IT?!

Shinpachi: IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!!

Gintoki: THEN BESIDES BRATS, KOUHAI AND THE AFFLUENT WHO CAN WE GIVE THESE TO?!

(Note- Otoshidama please.)

Hasegawa: Happy new years~

Gintoki: WHAT'S SO HAPPY ABOUT IT?! I FEEL LIKE I'M STARING INTO THE MIDDLE OF AN ENDLESS ABYSS!!

Shinpachi: HE'S COMPLETELY SEALED AWAY!!

Gintoki: WHAT THE FREAK HAPPENED TO YOU!?

Shinpachi: Craaaap!! When he takes his glasses off the darkness only gets more perverse!!

It's like we've ALL been closed off from the light!!

Hasegawa: It's the new year, but all I seem to see is darkness before my eyes~

Shinpachi: Duuude, It's like I can hear his voice in my head!!

Gintoki: Sweet, now you can give him an otoshidama. Go on, Kagura-chan, Shinpachi-kun.
Hasegawa: Have you all come to try and take something from me?

Shinpachi: Nooooooo! We're not here to do anything of the sort! We're not going to take anything else from you!

017

Hasegawa: I've got wings of vinyl and cardboard...

Which would you prefer? Just go ahead and rip one off.

Shinpachi: WHY WOULD WE WANT TO?! We've got plenty of useless to go around!!

Hasegawa: I sorta hope you choose the cardboard ones....heheh that'll be a scream.

Shinpachi: Heeey! He did something to the cardboard one!!

Hasegawa: Oh but the vinyl one is...hahahahah...

Shinpachi: EITHER ONE SEEMS TO BE A BAD IDEA!! LET'S JUST GIVE HIM SOMETHING AND GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!

Gintoki: See how irritating it is? Can we quit?

???: You can't!

You can't just give up on otoshidama like that~

Why not hurry up and scoot over here~?

Did you know...

That otoshidama don't have to be things that only kids get to enjoy...

Welcome...

To the adult otoshidama~

If it's balls you want...

Let me give them to you~

(TN- Er...well in Sacchan's case, otoshi dama seems to be a sort of store. Using the kanji for ball and shop.)

018

Gintoki: 'Kay. Can I drop this ball on you?

(Sfx- Gagoooh thooom)

(Handwrtten- Aaan~)

Shinpachi: Seems like it was a waste of time...

We ran ourselves ragged and in the end didn't give a single person an otoshidama.

Gintoki: It's not a good idea to come between people and their money.

Here, let me give these back to you.

Along with...

these.

Kagura: Gin-chan, what is this?

(Envelope- To Kagura.)

Gintoki: It was a pain in the ass for real. Do you know how many times I wanted to spend this on myself?

I did such a great job hiding it that I forgot about it myself.

I didn't remember where it was until just now.

It was hidden at the bottom of my boot.

Kagura: I see....

(Sfx- Zun zun snif snf)

Kagura: It smells terribly, yes?

019

Shinpachi: Then...

Now that we have some cash...

Kagura: Let us...

Hurry and spend it, yes?

(Sfx- Gashiih graab)

Gintoki: Dude, after everything we've been through, you guys still want to waste that money?

Shinpachi: Well you know...

It's not every day we get to have Gin-san's 'otoshidama'....

So it only makes sense that when we do have it, we blow it responsibly.

(TN- Now it's otoshidama, but the last kanji has 'soul' instead of 'balls'.)

Gintoki: ….che.

The hell you bastards. That doesn't even make sense.

(Sfx- Ahahaahahah)

(Left scroll- Gin-san's coupon for glasses, good only once.// Right scroll Gin-san's coupon for sukonbu, good only once.)

(Guy's kimono- Grilled meat.)

(Side text- Bet no one expected THAT ending!)

GINTAMA LESSON 382................END.