Gintama 384

MH was down last night, so I didn't get to post this until now. I'm pretty sure the internet was jealous of the speed I translated this, yeah. That's why.



001
{Yamazaki Sagaru - Observation Report.}

(Side text- Return of the anpan?!)

{Week 1 of stakeout activities.}

GINTAMA

{Today as well...}

{The Yorozuya makes no moves.}

{When the Vice Chief learned that the Yorozuya boss is the hero from the Joui War known as "Shiroyaha"...}

Yamazaki: Eh?! You want me to capture the boss?!

{he's at last seriously marked the boss.}

Hijikata: What are you stupid? If we arrested everybody who participated in the Joui there'd be no end to it.

I don't intend to go digging up that bastard's past after all this time.

But those around him are a different case.

Starting with Katsura, he even now has sway as the Shiroyasha.

You can be sure there'll be more than a few idiot ronins that try to contact him.

002

Hijikata: In essence, he's the bait we'll use to capture Katsura and his cronies.

Yamazaki: But what about Boss?

As I said, his past doesn't mean crap to me.... but being caught in the act doing a crime in the present is a whoooole different matter.

You're gonna root out the trouble all at the same time, if you know what I mean.

Yamazaki: Talk about rooting out trouble all you want, but there's no way in hell I could beat those monsters.

(Handwritten- After all he's done with him, the guy should know...)

{In any case, here I am staking out the Yorozuya.}

{But as usual....}

{the Yorozuya isn't doing anything.}

{Maybe the boss ran buck wild back in the day, but now he's just a lazy idiot.}

{Thoroughly knowing that, why do I have to do this sorta thing?}

(Sfx- Garara claaater)

{If I'm watching over a lazy guy being lazy, what the heck does that make me?)

Gintoki: Imma go play pachinko.

Kagura: I will take Sadaharu for a walk.

(Sfx- Gara clatter)

{The only thing I'm doing here is wasting time.}

003

{Why am I...}

{having to do surveillance all the time?}

{Why do I need to waste my valuable time being used by that idiot?}

(Sfx- Pih beep)

{I'm just like that bar code reading machine.}

{Every day, stuff flows in front of our eyes and we just read it in. It's all the same, day after day.}

{And we never enter into that flow. We just spectate other people's lives as our own lives dwindle away.}

Lady: Hm?

How strange, it's not reading.

Excuse me manager, I think my scanner is broken.

{Guess it finally reached its limit of endurance.}

{It's like this even for machines.}

{I'm pretty sure that the day I break down isn't far off, either...}

???: Um excuse me...

May I see that for a moment?

Oh, no need to worry it has not broken.

It just seems to have read one too many anpans and gotten an upset stomach.

004

Tama: Now, now. Please don't be down.

Your job isn't just being part of an assembly line.

In fact, you do a wonderful job supporting others as they live their lives, wouldn't you say?

We're all like screws turning in the huge gear that is society.

Each and every person is part of the world and must not be missing.

(Sfx- Pih beep)

(Package- Anpan)

Lady: Oh! It's fixed!

Thank you so much!

Tama: Not a problem. Machines are delicate so please take care of them, okay?

It may be hard at times but,

just keep at it the best you can, okay?

Yamazaki: Okay.

005

Yamazaki: I'll do my best.

(Side text- Without realizing it, tears...)

GINTAMA
Lesson 384: Observational Love Begins with Observation.
SORACHI HIDEAKI.

{Yamazaki Sagaru - Observation Report Day 10.}

{Yet again, nothing has changed at the Yorozuya's place today.}

{Nor have there been any changes to Tama-san's loveliness.}

(Handwritten- Good morning.)

{Since that time, I've realized my eyes have been following her.}

{Even this stakeout that I once hated, I don't want it to end anymore.}

{Day 12: Today I have observed that both the Yorozuya and Tama-san's beauty haven't changed.}

{Ah, Tama-san. I just can't stop looking at you... Ever since that day it's like you're the only one I'm observing.}

{Day fifteen: Today Tama-san's gentleness hasn't changed today either.}

{Man... I want arrest Tama-san... Arrest her eyes...}

{Day 20}

{Man, Tama-san, where did you come from? And where are you headed?}

{Day 25}

{Ahh, Tama-san, wherefore art thou Tama-san?}

{Day 30}

{AHHHHGHHH! MY TAMAKIN GOT HIIIIIT!!}

(Sfx- Gofuuh thook)

(TN- Tamakin is Kintama with the syllables switched around.}

{Day 35}

006

(TN-AHAHAHAHAH. It says Tama-san 455 times.)

(Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san)

007

Kondo: GUAHHHHH!!!

(Sfx- Paaaan thock)

Kondo: WHAT THE HELL IS THIIIIS?!

WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING?!

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO HIM?!!

This isn't even something sorta resembling 'work'!!

Somewhere along the line he started observing Tama-san and nothing but Tama-saaannn!!

Hijikata: Seriously. Not only has he not gotten a hold of any intel, but he's writing this stuff.

Kondou-san, why don't we just quit the police business and open up a prep-school for stalkers?

(T/N- It says TAMA-SAN more hundreds of times. Some are really big.)

Kondo: Are you saying I'm the same as this? No way! I don't pull this kinda psycho stalker stuff!!

Hijikata: I guess this is one of those things where during a stakeout you get so deluded you hallucinate into making the mark a target of romantic interest.

I can't believe he's really in love... This is what happens with men who have no natural immunity to women.

In any case, he's not even close to watching that Yorozuya jerk.

Kondou-san, you should give out an order forbidding love in order to tighten the team.

Kondo: Why're you trying to destroy my love, too, in the confusion with a middle-school rule like that?!!

Hijikata: The problem is that the guys we have here can only have 2nd year of middle school level crushes, so give the order.

008

Kondo: Toshi, listen up. When guys fall in love they return to the days when they were in the 2nd year of middle school.

All wisdom and knowledge cultivated over a life crumble when a guy is standing before a girl he likes.

We all go back to being naked brats doing stupid things, being shy, and swinging from happiness to mind-numbing fear like a pendulum

Hijikata: Sticking up for him now, are you?

Well I hate to rain on your parade, but Imma give it to your straight.

If this keeps up, the Shinsengumi is going to become known as the stalker creation plant. I won't stand for it.

(Sfx- Zatsh sfft)

Hijikata: If you won't put out a ban on love, then do something about him.

As fellow second-year middle schoolers, you guys should understand each other.

Kondo: W-Wait Toshi!!

D-Don't tell me you want me to meddle in his matters of love...?!

I can't do that! C'mon, man, you see what's going on! You've gotta use some sorta black magic here! You've gotta use Zaki!

(TN- Zaki is the instant-kill spell from the Dragon Quest series. Called Whack in English.)

Hey, Toshi!!!

009

???: Tama, bring the store banner down.

Tama: Yes, m'am.

{What the hell am I doing?}

{I've really left the stakeout long behind now.}

{Yet for one reason or another, I'm still staking you out!!}

{Without even having met you properly.}

{I just have to say something!!}

{I just have to go over and convey my gratitude for your words the other day that cheered me up!}

{But then what happens after that?}

{That's right... I don't even know anything about her! Outside of the fact that she's a member of the Yorozuya I don't know anything.}

{Ho' crap...}

{The observation style's sunken too deep into my nature!!}

{I never say anything, so I don't know what to say!! Am I going to just be an observer now, too?!}

010

Tama: Ah, welcome.

Okita: Is the boss in yet?

Tama: Yes, he is.

{C-Commanding officer Okita?!}

{W-why?!}

{Why is the commanding officer here of all places?}

{Is he...}

{Is he meeting with boss?!}

011

{H-HE KNOOOOOOWSSSSSSSSSS.}

{PERSON IN THIS WORLD I WANT LEAST TO KNOW ABOUT THIS KNOOOOOWS!!}

Okita: You can plan on resting easy, you'll be on a big ship.

(TN- Boarding a big ship is a Japanese idiom for gaining a reliable foundation.)

{WAAAAAITTT!! WHAT ARE YOU GOING IN THERE TO DO?! I'VE NEVER SEEN A BLOODSHOT WINK LIKE THAT BEFORE!!}

{Forget a big ship, is he planning on a boat made of tissue?!}

{He's gonna make my ship collapse while he just sneers and jeers doesn't heeeeeeeee?!}

(Sfx- Gata gata clatter clatter)

(Sfx- Bakaah clack)

012

Gintoki: And?

What do you want to talk about?

Okita: Well, I'm not here to beat around the bush about it, so here we go.

You know Yamazaki? We'd like you to let him to **** that robot girl once. Is that cool?

{Forget a boat made of tissues, he's wrapping me in a bamboo mat and chucking me into the ocean!!}

(TN- Apparantly this is a punishment they'd give people in the Edo period.)

{WAAAAAIIITT!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MEEE?!}

Gintoki: Wha? I don't think I understand what you're saying.

Well, basically it's like a stamen and pistil...

{NOOOO!! THAT'S NOT THE PART HE'S CONFUSED ABOUT!!}

013

Okita: See the truth is, Yamazaki has been penting up quite a lot lately...

It's stating to hinder his work, and Kondou-san is worried about him, too.

{No, I want to meet her! Just meet her! Why do you need to put it that way?!}

Okita: So boss, do you think we could borrow your sex toy, there?

{Who's a sex toy?!}

Otose: Hey, don't make fun of her!

Just what do you think our girl is?

Okita: Eh? She's like a blow-up wife, isn't she?

{WHY DON'T YOU GET WITH THE PROGRAM?!}

(TN- Both what Okita and Yamazaki said meant were read as "kuuki yome". Though based on the kanji, what Okita said means "air wife" and what Yamazaki said is a phrase meaning "read the mood." It doesn't translate really, but Yamazaki's mocking him.)

Kagura: Hey, are you making light of her? There's no way our shop's poster-girl would do someone like you!

Shinpachi: Eh? So what do you mean, basically? Yamazaki-san is interested in Tama-san?

{Waaait!! Don't say any more Shinpachi-kun!! It's totally embarrassing!}

Okita: Well he did write some love letters. I have copies here if you wanna see them.

I think if you read these you'll understand what his feelings are pretty well.

{THOSE AREN'T LOVE LETTEEEERS!!}

Shinpachi: Whoa! What are these?!

{WAAAIT!! That's totally gonna drive her off!!}

Gintoki: Yo Okita-kun, just what are these?

{Holy crap, now the Yorozuya will know I was observing them!!}

014

Gintoki: Who the hell is Yamazaki?

{THAAAAAAAAAAAT'S ITTTTTT?!}

Gintoki: The kid with the V shaped bangs?

{TO WHAT EXTENT HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN ME?!}

Gintoki: Yeah...sorry. Our girl isn't going to date some nobody.

{You've met me a thousand times!! More like, why are you acting like a doting father?!}

Tama: I have this description in my data....

{Tama-san!! You remember me?!}

{He's the one who broke the laser device with his anpan. He is an enemy of machines.}

{JUST HOW DO YOU REMEMBER ME?!}

Gintoki: There you have it. Our girl wants nothing to do with him, so please vacate the premises.

Okita: Hold on now, you haven't heard all I have to say.

{She already hates me!! I don't really get it, but she called me an enemy!}

Okita: As you can read from these mob letters...

{What the heck is a mob letter? Do you mean a mob-character's letters?!}

(TN- If you're not aware, a mob character is like an extra. A minor character like the ones you only see in crowd shots; like mobs.)

Okita: To be honest, recently the Shinsengumi has had you marked, boss.

If Hijikata-san or somebody has the chance, we can be on alert to storm in here and arrest you.

015

Gintoki: Let him try. I'd like to see it.

Okita: Well, going at it with you would be fun, too, but...

I'd rather things not go just how Hijikata-san wants them to.

See, so in order to diffuse this explosive situation,

So how about a formal marriage interview...

between Tama and Yamazaki?

Yamazaki: Ee...

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEH?!

016

Okita: If the Shinsengumi and the Yorozuya become relatives, we can come to a compromise.

And I'm sure all doubts about you would be cleared up, boss.

Kagura: So in short, you want us to hand over Tama as a hostage, yes?!

(Sfx- Gan bam)

Shinpachi: What is this; the age of the civil war?! That's just a marriage for political purposes, isn't it?!

Kagura: And in the first place, we don't really want to have any involvement or anything to do with you!!

Okita: Well neither do I, really.

But if we do this, Kondou-san will owe me, it'll destroy Hijikata-san's plan, and Yamazaki will be under my control for his entire life. So it's a good deal for me.

{IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE FOR YOU TO THINK OF HOW OTHERS FEEL?! YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO INCREASE YOUR OWN POLITICAL CLOUT!!}

Otose: What kind of selfishness is this? I'm not that forgiving a person.

In any case, how about we ask the people themselves before we go forward in discussions on our own. What do you think, Tama?

Tama: I am fine with it...

Otose: See? What did i---

WHAAAAAAT?!

Tama: If I can be used as a tool to improve the relationships between the Shinsengumi and Yorozuya, it is fine with me.

It is a machine's greatest desire to be useful to humans, after all.

{Um, hang on. You know, that makes me seem like a complete asshole....}

017

Kagura: Tamaaa!! You must not agree to something so hastily, yes?

It is fine. We don't mind being captured by these sorts of idiots.

Shinpachi: Right! We can't possibly hand you over to the likes of that kind of plain character!!

Kagura: He is the worst sort of person! He is not even human! He is a rotten abomination!!

{Guys you really shouldn't call people a rotten abomination when they're not there to defend themselves!!}

Gintoki: Well, ain't crap I can do when the person herself agrees to it.

Allrighty, as the mediators of this whole thing, we'll go too. And if we're gonna be eating at a Japanese restaurant, it'll be on your dime of course.

Okita: Not a problem. Even if the stuff past here fails, Yamazaki's no match for me anyhow.

{The real rotten abomination is right there!!}

Kagura: You had better not show your face here again, villain!!

I want traditional meals brought in courses. Understand?!

Tama: And would it be possible to have high grade oil served, as well?

Okita: I've set up the place.

The rest is up to you, Zaki.

Yamazaki: WHAAAAAAAAT?!

018

{What the hell is happening to meee?!}

{I look like a total creep now!! In the end everyone hates me!!}

{Wait...}

{No... I don't have the right to complain.}

{For a bystander like me...}

{who could do nothing himself, just sit around and watch...}

{For me, who could do nothing but watch her at a distance... I have no right to say anything.}

{It wasn't because I was doing observation I had no choice to be anything but an onlooker.}

{It was because I was afraid that if I acted I'd fail, so I chose on by own to be an onlooker.}

{Unless I move...... With my own hands...}

{With my own life... if I can capture her heart...}

{I can flip this problem into an opportunity.}

{My stake out...}

{is now over!}

019

(Sfx- Gorogorogoro rmmmmmble)

(Sfx- Gararararara claaaaaaaater)

(Sfx- Garararararara claaaaaater)

???: Greetings~

Today's the lucky day~

(Sfx- Gabshaaaaaah krakooooom)

(Side text- A huge storm is brewing.....!!)

GINTAMA LESSON 384.................END.