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Translations: One Piece 907 by cnet128 , Gintama 686 (2)

Gintama 385

In the end, the parents don't like anyone the kid brings home.

+ posted by Bomber D Rufi as translation on Jan 19, 2012 16:25 | Go to Gintama

-> RTS Page for Gintama 385

If Sorachi were to ever take over writing Hajimete no Aku, it would probably be like this.

Hi wa mata noboru only.

(Sfx- Gorogoro rummmble)

(Side text- Just what kind of omiai is this?)

(TN- Omiai is like a marriage arrangement meeting.)

Lesson 385: In the end, the parents don't like anyone the kid brings home.

Hijikata: Uh....

Would it be okay if I asked one question?

Gintoki: Yeah, what is it?


Hijikata: How did things end up this way?

(Sign- Mutal meeting between Shinsengumi and Yorozuya.)

Gintoki: Dunno.

Hijikata: No, don't feed me that 'Dunno' bullshit!

Why the hell are we here at an omiai with you dumbasses?!

Gintoki: That would be our line. Why the freak do we have to talk marriage engagement with you guys?

Hijikata: Hey Sougo!! What the hell is going on here?!

I thought I told you that I have no interest in Yamazaki's love affairs!

Okita: Ain't got a clue.

I just gathered everyone from work like Yamazaki asked me to.

After all, if he gets the girl and a house to himself, its a happy end right?

Hijikata: Of course not! What happens if he actually becomes a family member of the guy he's supposed to be staking out?!

Kondo: Now, now Toshi...calm down. They can hear you.

We can do some real criminal investigation if he does get involved with them. It'll be a piece of cake to get information if he's among their ranks.

Don't worry, once I dive into Otae-san's bosom I'll be able to back him up.

Hijikata: Your bosom is the problem here!!


Gintoki: Hey, what the hell are you guys whispering about there?

I don't see food and booze here yet.

Our poster girl has things to do, yet she still made time to come here.

Yet it appears you don't have anything for us.

(Fan- Sugar.)

Gintoki: We can't possibly give our darling daughter to such crude people can we, mother?

Kagura: I know! They are so barbaric.

Sure they act like public servants, but looking at their faces it becomes very apparent that they may try to lay their hands on our daughter!

Hijikata: Not even in a million years do I want to hear that from you!! Forget talking about public servants or whatever, and focus on the miai dammit!!

Kagura: Father, look at them and their poorly managed slang. The amount of delinquency they display is overwhelming.

(Sfx- Pan pan thump thump)

Gintoki: Hey! Does someone here speak 'Chinese mafia'? We need a translator!

Hijikata: Who's with the Chinese Mafia?!

(Sfx- Pan pan thump thump)

Gintoki: Heeey! We need a translator!! Call Heidi from the Shimura zoo!

Hijikata: Who the hell are you calling Rottenmeyer-san ya asshole?!

Sure, we are pretty sharp guys....

Gintoki: No one said anything like that! I wasn't talking about that Heidi anyway!!

(TN- I recall that a lesson title had that name in it. These seem to be all related to a movie called Heidi made in about 1937. There was an anime version in 1974, and most of these names seem to come from that.)

{I knew it....}

{Getting here after them would only lead to this...}


{Without a doubt, letting them handle the engagement is just asking for a bad end.}

{Even if it means I'll end up being Commanding officer Okita's slave, I won't let this chance slip through my fingers.}

{I can't rely on anyone else.}

{The only person I can believe in is myself.}

{No matter what happens...}

{I will never turn my back on Tama-san.}

(Sfx- kaaan tapp)

Tama: I am Tama.

Thank you for your kindness today.


(Sfx- Gofuuuh thooom)

Yamazaki: I'm Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Yamazaki Sagaru!!

(Sfx- Pusu pusu crackle crackle)

Yamazaki: T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-Thank you for your consideration!

Kondo: She's a real looker huh?

Yamazaki, you've got a good eye for the ladies dontcha?

Yamazaki: Chief, I totally can't see anything out of my right eye though...

Gintoki: Our pride and joy has set out the little plates...

So where's your end of the bargain Yamazaki-san?

Kagura: Excuse me sir, but has the food been prepared yet?

Yamazaki: Um...I’d like you to remember that I don't work here.

Kagura: Ah, sorry so the food has not yet arrived has it?

Father, that plain guy has blood running down his face.

Yamazaki: Um...this isn't from cooking though.

Shinpachi: Yamazaki-san, I understand you're the straight man from the shinsengumi, no?

You need to yell out your objections. Or is it that you don't want to be the straight man?

(Handwritten- If you aren't going to do it, you can't expect us to.)

Yamazaki: Wait are you GRADING me Shinpachi-kun?!


Shinpachi: Is that it?

Disappointing. If it were me I would have said 'I don't want someone like you to lecture me about not being a good straight man'. Something like that would have at least been passable.

Kagura: He can't help it. As a government employee he's used to doing things by the book.

{What's with these people? It's like they're just looking for reasons to pick at me!! Their intent to cock block is in rare form today!!}

{This isn't the time to lose my cool! If I don't straighten up then....}

{Dammit, the blood is making it hard to see!}

Tama: Um...

If you're okay with this I'll lend it to you.

(Cover- Ooedo pocket tissue.)


Tama: Are you okay?

If it doesn't stop bleeding perhaps we should call an ambulance?

{You really are an amazing person Tama-san!!}

{Unlike all the other girls in Gintama, you're actually really gentle...I can't believe you'd be here for me...}

Hijikata: What? Just a normal tissue? Your girl can't even give him a handkerchief to stop his wound from bleeding?
That's sorta strange. You'd think a housekeeping machine would have one handkerchief at least...

(Handwritten- 45 points.)



Hijikata: In our line of work, being injured is an everyday occurrence. So in that regard, prompt support is necessary.

If she can't even stop the bleeding, and we have to call an ambulance then what use is she?

(Sfx- Gogashaaan krackooom)

{Why are we having such a pointless competition?! Quit picking fights with them out of jealousy Vice captain!!}

Gintoki: Excuse me waiter? This guy here with the V shaped bangs in his hair seems to be injured...


Shinpachi: I think it was Hijikata-san that had the better straight man come back just now.

(Handwritten- I can spare 3 points.)


Okita: Hijikata-san, you're going to be doing twice the straight man retorts now so pick up the pace 'kay?

(Book: Hijikata: Death, Death, Death, Death, Death, Death, Death, Dea--)


Gintoki: Huh? Do you have a problem with our daughter?

Hijikata: And you...is there a problem with our guy?

{Waaaait! What's going on here? It's super tense....what kind of atmosphere is this for a miai?!}


Gintoki: The problem here is that you intend for us to hand over our poster girl to that guy of yours.

So it goes without saying we're going to ensure that he's good enough for her.

Hijikata: Ensuring he's good enough for her? Well, I can understand how you feel...

But considering the kind of work we do, we have to ensure that whomever he marries understand what she's marrying into....

Gintoki: Wait a sec, pal. I think you're getting mixed up.

This miai isn't for your guy, it's for our daughter....

Hijikata: The whole point of a miai is for both sides to come to an equivalent agreement. Say what you want, but those are the facts.

Kagura: Equivalent? What? You Russian mafia operatives actually know what that means?

Hijikata: Uh, we aren't the Russian Mafia.

{Heeey!! Stop that!!}

Kondo: Okay everyone! Lets just calm down!

Lady: Sorry to keep you waiting.

Kondo: See? The food is here!

{It's my chance!}

{I can finally change the subject!}

Yamazaki: Oh yeah! I remember seeing you buy food earlier...so I've been wondering...

Can you cook?


Tama: I'm a robotic housekeeping maid, so my duties are usually limited to cleaning....

Yamazaki: Is that so? Either way it's rare to find a girl like her nowadays.

Kondo: I know, right?

{Awesome, we've changed the flow!!}

Hijikata: Well she's a machine, so she should be able to do that much at last.

So I guess there wont be any meat served. A real shame.

{Ngh, He's protesting again!!}

Tama: What do the members of the Shinsengumi normally eat?

Yamazaki: We have a mess hall, but the stuff served there has no taste most of the time. It feels like all I ever eat is ramen.

Gintoki: Hah, He's totally going to switch into a conversation that starts with 'Aw I wanna try Tama-san's cooking' or something like that.

Wait for it....wait for it....

Kagura: No way he'll do something that lame..

{Quit saying things that are hard to counter!!}

Shinpachi: Since that's the extent of what you can say, you're not going to try to counter them huh...

{Are you reading my mind over there?!}

Kondo: Damn. They read right into you. Now you can't say something as lame as 'I wanna try your cooking'.

Okita: Since there's no other way around it, might as well go for the gutso and say 'Tama-san, I'd really like to eat you.'

{That's going too far! Your advice sucks ass you guys!!}


{The conversation has been sealed off....dammit I was hoping I could use this...}

Tama: I feel that it is important to deviate the nutrients you injest..

If you'd like you can come to our shop.

I'll make you dinner.

Yamazaki: S—Seriously?!

{She noticed and spoke up!!}

Tama: I'll try to think of something to maximize your nutritional content. Certainly that'll give you more energy as well.

{Ahhh Tama-san!! You're like a beacon of light in the center of this abyss of darkness and evil!}

Kondo: Isn't that awesome Yamazaki!!

Yamazaki: It sure is!!

My stomach and heart ache for her cooking!!

Gintoki: Then let's take this home to eat it.
Yamazaki: That was a metaphor!!

(Sfx- zara zara slissh slissh)

Gintoki: Tama hows that? You can go home and cook something for those dudes until they're stuffed.

Yamazaki: You mean she's going to make something now?

Tama: Well...I did prepare some food in advance.

Yamazaki: P-please may I have some?!

{This is like a dream...!!}

{To think that I'd be able to eat some of Tama-san's hand made cooking..I wonder what she'll make...}


Tama: Ouraaaaaaghhhh!!!

(Sfx- Tba taba bloop bloorsh)

Gintoki: Don't be alarmed. Our Tama prepares the food in her innards.

She has inner mechanisms that cook food.

(Sfx- Uboorooooooh horaaaaaaagh)

Gintoki: I know what you guys are thinking and don't worry it's not that bad. Kick back and relax.

Yamazaki: I---I guess?

(Sfx- Zeh hyu zeh)

Tama: I—It's complete.

(Sfx- Juuuhh zzzzzzzt)

Tama: Please...

Enjoy yourself.


Yamazaki: Y—yeah...I will enjoy it...I hope.

Kagura: Hmm? Isn't this better than what you normally eat Yamazaki-san? So go right ahead and dig in with all your might.

Gintoki: Hey now mom, no need to push them into it.

Tama: Here you go.

Please don't hold back, eat to your hearts content.


Yamazaki: Y—yeah.


{T-Tama-san....is this...}



{It might be.}

{No really...}

{Is it?}


{How can it be edible with a mosaic over it?}

{But Tama-san made this for me....I had no idea it would be this though..}

Tama: What's wrong? Aren't you hungry?

Yamazaki: No! I'm starving but I want to take it in with my eyes first!

{At this rate I'm going to hurt Tama-san's feelings!!}

{I gotta calm down!! I mean just think of what it was before the mosaic!! It wasn't anything weird before right?}

{It'll be fine! Tama-san wouldn't make anything that would hurt me! But...}

{I'm so freaked out I can't move...!!}

{Won't anyone try to help me?!}

Hijikata: Hey.

Hold on a damn minute. Don't screw with us.

{Vice Captain!! I knew I could depend on you at a time like this! Please say something to them!}

Hijikata: You can't eat anything without putting mayo on it first.

(Sfx- Puschi puschi puchuu bloop blorsh bloop)


Hijikata: Damn. I unintentionally used mayo on that stuff.

Well whatever it makes everything taste better.

{Why is it only now you've got something decent to say?!}


{Hey! That's right!}

Yamazaki: I can't eat all of this by myself! Why don't you guys dig in too?

Kondo&Okita: We're cool, we'll make our own food later.

{You guys look like you're going to be sick!!}

Tama: I knew it, there is something you don't like about it Yamazaki-san...

Yamazaki: Noo! That's not it!

It's just too good for the likes of me! Ooh! I know can I take it home? That way I can eat as much as I like whenever I like!

Gintoki: Yeah, that works Yamazaki-kun. Go for it.

Would you mind taking our share too?

(Sfx- Giku poit)

(Sfx- Ogoooroooh hooooork)

Yamazaki: In the end you guys are sick too! Do I look like a garbage bin to you?!

Shinpachi: Yamazaki-san, your straight man retorts have all been too roundabout...I suppose I'll have to take oovvrrrrrrrghhhhh

(Sfx- Bicha bicha bloorp bloorp)

Yamazaki: Heeeeeey!! You're all tossing your cookies! It's because vomit begets vomit doesn't it?!

Tama: I'm going to get some fresh air.


(Sfx- Pishaah clamp)

Gintoki: Weeelp, lets leave everything to the young couple. Us nuisances will go on home.

(Sfx- Paaan thonk)



Where are you?


{This is the worst...I said I wouldn't turn my back on her and look how things turned out...}

{No...that's not right.}

{I know I said I wouldn't turn back but...}

{After seeing what happened, maybe this miai was for the best....}

(Sfx- Doshaaah craaaash)


{Back then your words gave me the strength to go on...}

{I just wanted to convey my thanks to you....}

{Yet I couldn't even say a simple 'thank you'.}

{Worse than that, I went and hurt your feelings.}

{I'm the worst sort of jerk....}

Tama: What are you doing on the ground there, Yamazaki-san.

You'll catch a cold....


Yamazaki: T-T-T-T-T-TAMA-SAN!!

Tama: I'm sorry...I got up and left from the miai before it was over...

Yamazaki: Eh?

Tama: I had forgotten something momentous and after some thought I realized it.

I know what food it is I should prepare for you.

Just wait a moment.

(Sfx- uueeeeeeeeeegh)

Yamazaki: Eh? Wait a moment Tama-san!

(Sfx- Zeh hyu hyu)

Tama: I'm not sure If I’ve done it correctly but...here.

This anpan...

Is for you Yamazaki-san.

These seem to suit you the best, Yamazaki-san.

As a person who unbeknownst to others protects society.

A person who works behind the scenes, untouchable...

No matter whether you're seen or unseen please try not to forget that you are not someone who is out of sight and out of mind.


Tama: Yamazaki-san? Did I misunderstand something again....?

Yamazaki: No...

Thank you Tama-san.

(Sfx- Mogu mogu chew chew)

Yamazaki: I feel much better.

Tama: I'm so happy.

Then shall we return to everyone?

Yamazaki: No, that's fine.

There's no need for us to continue that.

Tama: But what about Gintoki-sama and the Shinsengumi....

Yamazaki: No need to worry...as for those guys at the Shinsengumi...

I, Inspector Yamazaki Sagaru...

Will continue the stake out.


Tama: Please do...

Your best at work.

Yamazaki: You betcha.

(Sfx- Pakuhh chomp)

Yamazaki: Oboorohhhahh!!!

Um...er...that was my return gift...

it's fried...?

(Sfx- Dogooooh THONK)

(Sfx- AUUGUHHH!!!)

(Side text- What should we expect from the two after this?!)

GINTAMA LESSON 385...........END.

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