Gintama 401

Hunger is a crime. Being broke is the culprit.



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Lesson 401: Dog food isn't as tasty as it looks.

(Side text- The Yorozuya's greatest crisis?)

SORACHI HIDEAKI
GINTAMA

(Sfx- Kararaaan claaater)

(Sfx- Guuuuuu grrrrrrooowl)

Gintoki: What's with that expression? You gotta problem?

If this ain't enough then you can chew on the meat pads on your feet.

Kagura: I am sorry Sadaharu. You will have to do with this today, yes?

The Yorozuya is going through a serious food crisis.

Everyone's stomach is empty.

Sadaharu: Woof.

Kagura: He is such a good doggie. Gin-chan, I think Sadaharu understands.

002

Gintoki: Awesome.

Then we can share these three together.

(Sfx- Gahh sifft)

(Sfx- Bori bori chew chiew)

Kagura and Gintoki: Thanks for the meal~

(Sfx- Bori bori cew chew)

Shinpachi: LIKE HELLLLL!!

(Sfx- Gohhh THUD)

Shinpachi: Do you people even have any human dignity left?!

No matter how hungry you get, eating your pet's food is going too damn far!!

Gintoki: It's not like we can help it. We haven't had any clients in god knows how long, and that means stretching the last damn grains of rice we have to the limit.
(Sfx- Guuuuh grrrrl)

Gintoki: In an emergency situation like this we should be happy to have even dog food in this place to eat. Hell, it could even be considered a delicacy.

003

Shinpachi: Why dog food?! We're going to make enemies out of not only the PTA but the PETA at this rate!!

Gintoki: What? The PETA? PTA? Are those foods?

Kagura: Only dazzling teachers can partake of the PTA, yes?

Shinpachi: I TOTALLY DON'T THINK WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE SAME THING!! YOU CAN'T EAT IT!!

Gintoki: Quit bitching. Who's fault do you think it is that we're in this shitty situation huuuh?

No matter how hard we work, feeding that behemoth eats up our entire check. Speaking of eating, isn't that all he does?

And then theres those livestock that you keep...the ones on your face. While we work hard you're feeding it to your glasses.

Shinpachi: I don't want to hear nasty things like that from you of all people!! Apologize!! Apologize to my glasses immediately!!

Gintoki: Considering you guys don't even know what work is, maybe you should learn that much before bitching to me.

You're the one being selfish dammit, you've got those delicious and oh so greasy chicken wings and you're not even trying to share.

Shinpachi: They aren't chicken wings, just greasy glasses!

(Handwritten- Wait, they're not actually greasy...)

Kagura: Look at him. He shows them off to us like he is Takeda Kumiko, yes?

(TN- Well, when I googled her name I got all kinds of pictures of her 'assets.' So...yeah. I guess she's a model or something?)

Shinpachi: Whoa! You know when people get really hungry they start seeing strange things!! Are you guys okay?!

Kagura: Let me see them.

Shinpachi: Hey! What are you doing?!

Kagura: Those glasses! I want to eat them!!

(Sfx- Garara claaater)

Shinpachi: DON'T DEEP FRY MY GLASSES!!

004

{No matter how hard we work, feeding that behemoth eats up our entire check.}

{Speaking of eating, isn't that all he does?}

{Considering you guys don't even know what work is, maybe you should learn that much before bitching to me.}

(Sfx- Bishaaah pisss)

(Sfx- Guuuuu groooowl)

(Sfx- Kun Snif)

(Sfx- Kun kun sniff sniff)

{Please pick me up.}

005

{Sfx- Kuwaaaaah ROAAAAR)

(Sfx- Buru buru shiver shiver)

(Sfx- Pota pota drip drip)

(Sfx- Buru buru Shiver shiver)

(Sfx- Noshi noshi shfft shfft)

(Sfx- Guuuu grllll)

(Sfx- Gugiruuuu rgrrrrl)

006

(Sfx- Guuuuuu grlllll)

{Please pick me up.}

Sadaharu: Wuf?
Dog: Kuun.

(Sfx- Bishaaaaah spliiiish)

(Sfx- Bashiiiii plassssh)

(Sfx- Kankaraann clatter clatter)

(Sfx- Bishaaah dsssh)

(Sfx- Dochaah flop)

007

Dog: Kyan kyahhn

(Sfx- Waoooon awoooo!)

(Sfx- Hah hah)

Dog: Woof woof!

Ruuf ruuff

(Sfx- Pakuuuh gulp)

(Sfx- Guryuuuu growooool)

Gintoki: For God's sake!!

Eggs for breakfast AGAIN?!

What are you doing to the most important meal of the day dammit?!

Kagura: It cannot be helped. Our refrigerator is completely empty.

Gintoki: Ya wanna know what's empty?! Its your head!

008

Kagura: Even Sadaharu is not complaining. His food is the cheap brand, but he still eats it in silence, yes?

Gintoki: Is that so? Well here boy.

(Sfx- Kotohh clink)

Kagura: Gin-chan! Sadaharu is not a trash can! Besides, there is nothing else to eat for breakfast...

Gintoki: Listen, unlike you guys I'm a gourmet.

Livestock eats dog food.

(Sfx- Gukyruuu groooowl)

009

(Sfx- Zuzzuzuuhhhh drrrrrrggg)

Shinsengumi: So---

So cyuuuuuute...

Where did you pick this little one up Commanding officer Okita?

Okita: Looks like an abandoned dog, or maybe it ran away from home. Either way it was loitering around town.

Kondo: Hey wait a minute....Sougo, isn't that Yorozuya's dog there?

Okita: Well for some reason he was with the other dog on his way here.

010

Okita: You know what I was thinking though? Remember that time where we tried and failed to change our image with a mascot character? We might be able to try again with that dog there.

We could even make it a contest. Like we abandon all of them; including Hijikata-san at the North pole, and whomever comes back gets to become our new mascot. Cool idea huh?

Hijikata: What does Hijikata-san have to do with them?! More like you're not trying to make a mascot but a trashcott aren'tcha?!

Besides, we don't need any stupid crap like a mascot around here.

If anything, we already have a mascot and it's Kondo-san you asshead.

Shinsengumi: He's not a mascot, more like a castoff if you ask me.

Kondo: Hey, did someone just call me Ridley Scott just now? If so, thanks!

Shinsengumi: Trust me, no one would say something that nice to you.

Hijikata: Moreover, why the freak do we have to take care of the Yorozuya's pet?

We've got more than enough missions to worry about so get rid of him.

Shinsengumi: Vice captain, can you look this cute little doggy in the eye and genuinely say you want to toss him out?!

Hijikata: Who gives a rats ass about cute? Aren't you bastards forgetting the code of chivalry? I smell a seppuku in process for you idiots.

Shinsengumi: Then YOU throw it out, Vice captain!

Hijikata: Fine then. I will.

(Sfx- Dakyuuu squeeze)

Dog: Wuuf.

011

Hijikata: Kondo-san, don'tcha think we should get a police dog for HQ?

Shinsengumi: Seppuku time, bastaaaard!!

Hjikata: Shut the hell up! I just think it's high time we got a police dog!!

I don't care if this furball is cute or not!!

Besides, before we can use him as a police dog there are assessments to be done!

Dog or not, I ain't goin easy on him!

Okay. A police dog's nose is his lifeline.

Being able to discern a bad guy by scent alone is an important ability to have.

We'll start with this.

One is half, another is quarter, another is no cholesterol, that one there is no oil and the last one is mustard.

You guys have to discern which is which by scent alone.

Someone: THEY'RE ALL NASTY ASS MAYONASE AREN'T THEY!?

012

Someone: You say you're using them as police dogs, but it's obvious you're harboring hidden criminal intent with this assessment!

Hijikata: Pick out the one you like the most.

Someone: THAT WOULD BE NONE OF THEM!

(Sfx- Pihh poit)

Hijikata: Oh? The Quarter has your fansy?

I'm feeling the non oil version a bit more right now though.

Someone: You're changing them on a whim?!

Though for your hard work, here's a reward.

(Handwritten- Eat up.)

(Sfx- Buriburi bloorp)

Someone: You just wanted to give the dog mayonnaise didn't you?!

Hijikata: No need to be shy, take as much as you'd like.

Hurry up and eat it. Go on.

(Sfx- Zozozozozoo Sshffffft)

013

Sacchan: There, there little one!

For goodness sake! What were the two of you going to do all alone?

Wouldn't it be better to make up with them?

(TN- She speaks dog now?)

Sacchan: I'm sure Gin-san isn't the type of person to abandon his friends.

He probably said some nasty things and you ran away from home, right?

You should understand Gin-san the most...his words belie his true feelings.

Unfortunately I can't take you in, if that’s what you were hoping.

But that's because you already have a home to return to.

Though if it's just until you've managed to make things better at home, I don't mind if you stay.

I don't know what I’d do if Gin-san's precious pet were to die and I did nothing to help.

Kyah! Aren't we affectionate!

(Sfx- Kyan kyan lick lick)
Sacchan: I'm so jealous of you! You're always by Gin-san's side.

If I could be reborn, I'd like to be Gin-san's pet...

...Just kidding!

Well I'll go get some food ready since the two of you look hungry. Just wait here.

014

(Sfx- shaaaah shhiiink)

(Sfx- shaaaah shiiiink)

Sacchan: At long last it's here...

The moment I’ve been waiting for....

(Sfx- Shaaaah Shiiink)

Sacchan: My chance to become Gin-san's pet is finally here...

I'll shave him bald and have the perfect white wedding dress.

(Sfx- Hah hah hah)

Sacchan: Just a little longer, Gin-san...

A little longer and your cute little pet will be by your side...

(Sfx- Zugagagaaah ddssssssssh)

015

(Sfx- gagagahhh Sssshhht)

???: I see.

Times have gotten harsh for Gintoki...but it serves him right since he chooses to live in such depravity.

(TN- Am I the only one who doesn't speak dog?)

Katsura: But you know Sadaharu-kun, I knew this moment would come for you...

That deep within your heart burns the soul...the flame of a patriot. And now you've followed the correct path and come to me your true leader.

I knew you'd find me....I believed in you.


I've been on stand by.....

To kick the can for two weeks.

Well, to be frank I really wasn't JUST waiting for two weeks to kick the can.

I was most surprised to hear that an arc about Shoyou-sensei had occurred without me.

Unfortunately due to the schedule being packed right down to wire, I was just barely able to make it. Though I had no idea things would have transpired over the long amount of time like they did.

016

Katsura: It goes without saying that when it comes to hiding that I am the master, but for no one to have found me after all of this time....and now the time for kick the can is over.

If I, runaway Kotarou had been really serious it might have been unfair to the rest of the group...yes, that's it.

In any case, I'd better return...

Before everyone who's searching becomes worried.

(Sfx- Mishiiih sgrrnd)

Katsura: NO!!

My folly was waiting here for two weeks!! After that amount of time, my body has become as hard as stone!

Zabeth! Summon a doctor at once!!

(Sfx- Meki meki Meshii grrnd grnnd)

Katsura: Guh! I can't believe I've ended up in such a sad state! Especially when I came to see sensei off...

(Sfx- Gaku gaku shive shiver)

Katsura: S—Sadaharu-kun, I—I'm so sorry...It appears I won't be able to keep our promise after all.

Before the doctor comes, I'll give you a message...Despite the traffic, the taxi fare and every other cost...

Leave it to...

Sensei for me.

(Sfx- Gaaan craaash)

017

(Sfx- Dobooh Dobooh drrrg drrrg)

{Pick me up please.}

018

(Sfx- Hah hah hah)

(Sfx- Guiii grnnd)

(Sfx- Dododododdo tmptmptmtpmtp)

Guy: Yeah I saw him...

Yeah he was a huge dog, I know that for sure.

He seemed to be carrying a little puppy with him.

019

Kagura: Sadaharu...

Sadaharuuu!! Where have you gone! If you are here you will answer, yes?

Please come home!!

Sadaharuuu!!

(Sfx- hah hah hah)

Dog: wuuff.

(Sfx- Datsuuh dasssh)

(Sfx- Guiii Groooowl)

(Side text- What will Sadaharu do?!)

GINTAMA LESSON 401...........END.