Gintama 404

Don't worry shifu, I'll still read your raws. Don't cry. :)



(Side text- There’s something about Obi Won’s body?)

GINTAMA

???: Kenofi, Kenofi?

Please respond.

It’s no good, there’s no response.

It appears that he’s taken independent action again…that annoying idiot.

Leave him be. You know that planet is his homeworld.

He’s probably there to visit old acquaintances.

I couldn’t think of a better way to send a farewell greeting to them.

Heheheheh.

002

Obi: Gahahahahah!

For a moment there I didn’t know what would happen…

But hey, a disciple is a disciple! Even if we’re barely scrapin’ the bucket!

Welcome to our…

Tendoumushin beam saber style!!

(Banner- New disciple welcome reception.)

(Back banner left: Tendoumushin)

(Back banner right: Beam with soul.)

(Side text- The last supper?!)

SORACHI HIDEAKI

Lesson 404: A laughing gate invites misfortune.

GINTAMA

003

Obi: Man, I didn’t mean ta be somethin’ so outrageous thoug! Sorry ‘bout that!

I only meant to get a lil’ serious, but I guess I don’t even know my own strength!

But for real~ Ya’ll Edo fighters are really strong!!

But to think we managed to get the seven strongest people under one roof! Wit this, the Beam Saber style is gonna be the strongest under the heavens!

Am I right? Or am I right Coach Sakata?

Gintoki: Sure you are, Coach Obiwan.

Obi: Anyway! Tonight we’re gonna celebrate gettin’ new people in our school!

Otae-chan! Bring us some booze! Tonight we gonna drink!!

(Sfx- Gahahahah)

Shinpachi: Would you like beer, Hajime-ni?

Obi: Naw, how about a shochuu gasoline split?

Tae: Geez, not that joke again Obiwan-niisama.

(Sfx- Gagahahah)

(TN- Shochuu is a type of Japanese liquor, but gasoline…?)

Kondo: Um…Excuse me Coach Obiwan….

I..I have a question.

Obi: What’s up?

Kondo: The epic that is the beam saber has been carved into my body…

But I wonder how we’re going to learn the beam saber from here on in?

004

Kondo: I sorta doubt…

We’re going to be able to do something like that…

Obi: Don’t worry about it! If he could seize the opportunity to learn it, you guys can too!

Am I right, or am I right Coach Sakata?

(Sfx- Gebuhh *burp*)

Gintoki: Totally. It’s like the day where you had to learn how to ride a bike without the training wheels. Nice and easy.

Kondo: Umm, I’m pretty sure that we can’t do it Coach Sakata. We’re still sorta shaky without the training wheels.

Kyuubee: Beyond being able to do that or not…

I don’t even think that’s something human beings should or can pull off.

Moreover that mechanical arm…

Coach Obiwon, it would seem to me that you are only half human.

I’d really like to know just who youa re.

Obi: Wahahah! Sayin’ that my moves are some kinda effect of this gizmo on my arm?

It’s just a replacement for the right arm I lost in an accident!

005

Gintoki: That’s no good Kyuubee, you can’t go being a sore loser. There aren’t any tricks here.

It’s just better to acknowledge your weakness, and use that as a basis to become stronger. As punishment for this discretion, you will write the kanji for ‘ateuma’ 100 times and submit it tomorrow.

(TN- Ateuma is the Japanese term for a horse that is brought to a mare to test readiness to mate. Though the other usage for it is ‘stalking horse’, which is probably closer to what Gintoki is referring to.)

Kyuubee: Or how about this Coach Sakata, you could write the kanji ‘idiot’ 100 times and submit it tomorrow instead.

Gintoki: What’s the kanji for ‘idiot’ again?

Kagura: Coach! I’ve got it right here!

(On paper: Gintoki.)

Obi: I can’t have ya suspectin’ me of this and that! If ya wanna see my bod, check it out!

(Sfx- Gosooh *sffft*)

Obi: Ain’t nothin’ particularly complex about me being half human.

(Sfx- Basaaha *thup*)

Obi: I was half earthling when I was wanderin’ through space…

And tha other half of me is a Samurai with the heart of an edoite. No matter what happens Imma never forget that.

Hows this!

(Sfx-Gakiiiin *sheen*)

{He’s half edoite all right!}

{And made of half roboite too!}

006

Obi: So like I was saying, that beam saber isn’t my right hand..

But the mechanical gizmo that that is on the right side of my body…I’ve used this since I was born…

Kondo: AS IF!!

Shinpachi: Whaaaat?! What’s going on?!

How did your body end up that way Hajime-nii?!

Tae: O—Obiwon-niisama!

Obi: C’mon, ya’ll didn’t notice I had become one of those cyborg thingies?

Ya’ll sure are an easygoin’ bunch, am I right, or am I right, Coach Sakata?

Gintoki: Huh? We’re having hamburgers tomorrow? For reals?

(Paper- Gintoki, Gintoki, Gintoki, Gintoki.)
Shinpachi: He said CYBORG! This guy’s too damn easygoing!

But a cyborg….Hajime-nii…

Obi: Yeah…the truth is when I got caught up in that transfer warp accident…

It was a miracle that I managed to get warped to another planet…

But the right half of my body was damaged really badly.

It’s a real embarassin’ tale.

007

Obi: I guess I sorta…

Died.

Shinpachi: Wha..

WHAAAAAAAAT?!

You died?! Then, then…?!

Obi: But I lucked out! See, the planet I ened up on had some pretty badass technology, and they were able to bring me back, and make half my body mechanical and whatnot.

Not only that I became the number one swordsman in tha galaxy

In order ta realize my dream that had burnt out….

I was revived and came back from he—

Heell.

He-he-he-heheheheheheehehlll

(Sfx- Doshaaah *thuuuud*)

Shinpachi: Hajime-niiii!!

008

Kagura: Oh. It appears his revival misfired. It misfired and he went back to hell, yes?

Shinpachi: Hajime-nii!! Get a hold of yourself!! What happened to you?

Tae: Ah!!

Obi: How about a shochuu gasoline split?

Tae: I thought he was kidding….!!

I’m off to buy some gasoline! Shin-chan, take Obiwon-niisama to the bedroom!!

(Sfx- Dath *dasssh*)

Shinpachi: S-sisteeeer!!

Kondo: Otae-san!!

Gengai: Hmm…

Shinpachi: How’s it looking, Gengai-san?

009

Gengai: I’m sorry….

the problem here isn’t a lack of gasoline…

But this hazmat substance he ate.

(Sfx- Mosarrii *droop*)

This doesn’t look like an organism born from earth origins.

In fact, thinking back to all the knowledge I have of space organsims I can’t recall ever seeing this thing. Where did you get it?

Kagura: That’s Boss lady’s….

(Sfx- Pan *slam*)

Tae: He had to have picked up in space an eaten it! That has to be it! Obiwon-niisama what are we going to do with you?

Gengai: Well…in any case he should be fine now that he’s hacked it up.

(Handwritten- up we go.)

Gengai: Though, he’s a strange one….needing to drink a shochuu gasoline split to keep himself going.

Shinpachi: Um, Gengai-san…

Then Hajime-nii is…

Gengai: The heart responsible for the human half has stopped.

The right half that’s been mechanized is what’s keeping him going now. Which is to say that he’s essentially a robot.

010

(Sfx- Patan *slam*)

Shinpachi: I thought it was awesome that Hajime-nii had returned alive after so many years…

But I would have never imagined he’d come back like this…

This is terrible...

With him like this, we’re not even sure when he may end up dying again.

Without the machinery he can’t live…..

It’s like he’s already…

Tae: Shin-chan…

No matter what happens, Obiwon-niisama will always be Obiwon-niisama.

Moreover…

Don’t make that kind of face in front of Obiwon-niisama.

011

Tae: Have you forgotten…

The promise we made with him?

(Sfx- Pan pan *thok thok*)

Tae: How many times must I say it?

When you’re swinging your sword you musn’t allow your posture to fall apart!!

You have to swing as if it’s a part of your body! As if you have one central core! One consciousness!

Concentrate on making circular motions with your entire body!!

Shinpachi: I don’t get it sister!!

(Sfx- Waaaaaah)

Shinpachi: My body doesn’t have a central core!

Tae: I told you no more crying!

Aren’t you the child of a samurai, Shin-chan?

012

Shinpachi: But…

Tae: No excuses or masamune for that matter.

Pupils: Hahahah, looks like the kids are at it again.

(TN- Masamune is a sword maker apparently.)

Ken: What are you all doing?

Puplis: Ho ‘crap! It’s sensei!

Tae: Father, you have to tell him!

(Sfx- Gusu gusu *sniffle sniffle*)

Tae: All Shin-chan does is cry all of the time.

Shinpachi: Be quiet! It’s cause you keep talking about it that everyone laughs at me…it’s embarrassing.

(Sfx- Gan gan *smack*)

Ken: Both of you be quiet.

(Sfx- Gusu *sniffle*)
(Sfx- Gusu *sniffle*)

(Sfx- Gusu *sniffle*)

(Sfx- Gusu *sniffle*)

???: Gahahahah!

If it isn’t the crybaby siblings!

What’s up? Is he out getting earnings from part time work?!

013

Obi: Then I’ll do some part time work too!

Laugh it up!

Tae: Ha..

Shinpachi: Hajime-nii…

Obi: Listen up you two…

Tears are great cause they wash away tough times, sad feelings all together. Ain’t that convenient?

Though someday you guys are gonna be adults right?

There are gonna be some tough things that tears ain’t gonna have the power to wash out.

So just sittin’ around cryin’ ain’t gonna do no good.

Hell, sometimes gettin’ hurt is important too.

That’s why humans gotta be strong…

Times where they wanna cry they gotta laugh.

To embrace all of their sadness and pain…

If they can do that, they’ll find people they can laugh and walk together with.

014

Obi: Right now, ain’t nothin’ wrong with cryin’ when ya wanna cry.

But someday you guys too…

Will hafta become strong samurai.

Tae: I understand… that is why Obiwon-niisama is always smiling!

Shinpachi: I wanna be strong like Hajime-nii!!

Obi: Is that so? Then let’s put our sword trainin’ aside for today,

And start our laughter trainin!

(Sfx- Gahahahahah)

(Sfx- Gahahahahah)

Obi: More Tae-chan!!

(Sfx- Dahahahahah)

Obi: Yer too soft Shin-boy!

Like this!!

(Sfx- Pushahahahaahahahah!!)

(Sfx- Zath *Sfhhht*)

Ken: The three of you are too noisy.

(Sfx- Gan gan gan *thunk thunk thunk*)

015

Obi: Unngh…

Damn.

This hurts so bad I wanna cry….I ain’t gonna forget this pain.

(Sfx- Gusu *sniffle*)

(Sfx- Ahahahahah)

Tae: No matter his shape, we wanted to see him…

To see Obiwan-niisama again.

And now we’ve been granted..

A chance to see that smile once again.

016

Tae: I think this is…

More than enough.

Shinpachi: Sister…

017

(Sfx- Chun chun *tweet tweet*)

Hijikata: Kondo-san, what should we do?

Things have gotten kinda serious here.

If we don’t do something the world might come to an ened.

Kondo: …….Oh.

That’s fine, I guess.

Since you know, my life already ended.

My love life is over.

So it’d be fine if everyone were to die.

Okita: It seems he’s gone into complete forfeit mode, and isn’t listening to a word we say.

Hijikata: This is a pain in the ass. Just tell him the parts that need to be said so we can get our work done.

(Sfx- Bata bata bata *tmptmptmp*)

Toujo: Young masterrrrrr!!

(Sfx- Garara *clatter*)

Toujo: Where have you been all of this time?! The situation in Edo has become rather problematic….

018

(Sfx- Doonn *thoom*)

Toujo: Things have gotten problematic here too!!

Kyuubee: I’m disgusted with myself.

That I’d try to destroy a person that important to Tae-chan..

The one who should be destroyed is the filthy shell known as myself!!

(Sfx- Gaah *grab*)

Toujo: Waaaaaait!! Calm down Young master!! Look at the television! The Television! Humanity is about to be destroyed!!

Kyuubee: DON’T TOUCH MEEE!!

Toujo: Ah…she found me out?

(Sfx- Gohh *thoood*)

Gengai: Hey Ginnoji.

What happened to that half edoite half roboite guy?

Gintoki: Dunno, don’t care. Is there some sort of problem that you’d call me out here for this?

Gengai: When I examined his body , something caught my interest.

Well to be honest it didn’t bother me a whole lot, so I left it as is.

019

Kondo: Planet Beam?

Hijikata: They’re the interstellar beam cannon development planet. Well they’re normally known for manufacturing beams and whatnot, and usually don’t leave too far from home..

But a few days earlier the league of planets made the discovery of an unimaginable weapon.

It seems those guys are right above earth now…

Taking on the name of terrorism….more likely than not they’re…

Aliens: To you earthlings that have never used or know about the power of a laser cannon…

We have sent a wonderful present to you in anticipation that you’ll enjoy it.

Gintoki: Huh?

What did you just say?

Gengai: In that half robotic body of his…

There seems to be an interstellar beam cannon that will activate at a certain time.

When the planets within the league of planets line up…

The beam will fire, and when it does it’ll be like Earth is declaring war against the whole galaxy.

(Side text- Interstellar war?)

GINTAMA LESSON 404…………..END.