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Translations: One Piece 904 by cnet128 , Gintama 682 (2)

Gintama 423

There's no one who's really interested in someone's license photo.

+ posted by Bomber D Rufi as translation on Nov 17, 2012 05:01 | Go to Gintama

-> RTS Page for Gintama 423

Yeaaaah. Pretty much everything I translate beside this is on hiatus until December. I promise to get back to work when I'm less bogged down with RL crap.

Hi wa mata noboru only.

(Side text- Even Yamazaki can get things done when it really matters...)

(Sign- Special achievement award: Yamazaki Sagaru)


Shinsengumi: Looks like the higher ups want to give the public spotlight to Yamazaki's achievements.

It's thanks to him infiltrating an enemy organization for three months that we were able to arrest all of them in one go.

For real? Damn. I guess he is awesome at inspection work isn't he?

He's an inspector under observation isn't he?

But you know...

Something I've thought of since before this...


It's great and everything, but what does an inspector do exactly?


Shinsengumi: It's that man. They like observe the enemy and stuff and do stakeouts.

If its a stakeout then guys like us can do it right?

Imma be honest with you guys. If all I had to do is eat anpan around the clock I'd be set.

Oh wait, I forgot about playing badminton. I can do that in my sleep.

Huh? So wait, being an inspector means doing stuff like that?

It's all of that and doing menial tasks that any talentless hack can do.

Then again, maybe it's just because inspection is all of those things that only Yamazaki can do it.

We're risking our lives during battle. We don't have the luxury of just chillin' like him.

Though for real, I wouldn't mind being a talentless hack so I could get a cushy gig like being inspector...that would be sweet.

(Sfx- Dopooon thooopmh)

Yamazaki: GODDAMMIT!



Yamazaki: Oh okay, fine. Stakeouts and secret investigations are the sort of plain and inglorious work that doesn't stand out..

But it's thanks to the foundation that we inspectors lay down that those guys in the mobile corps can move with ease..

Those guys seriously believe that inspection is the same as being useless.

That it's the type of work that anyone with a half a brain can do.

For some reason though, I can't seem to turn around and rebuff them.

I just want them to look at me as a inspection and information gathering pro.


I want to do work that's flashy and stands out like that.

(Sign- M:I:6 Now for rental.)

Yamazaki: Maybe I should consider spy training?

???: I'm sorry sir....

We can't create a new membership using this.

Lady: It appears your license has expired...

???: Geh. I can't believe I forgot to renew this thing.

Lady: Please feel free to return one you've renewed it.

???: Aah..this freakin' sucks....

I'm going to have to head back to the training institute at this rate...


Hattori: Why does the former head of the Oniwaban...

Have to attend lectures?

Yamazaki: Um...

Excuse me a minute!
I—I'm sorry. I couldn't help but notice but.....


A Ninja license...?

{Top: Hattori Zenzou// Year August 22nd// Hometown Iga// Year Month and Day to exchange// Ninja license//Former Oniwaban head// Currently free//Jonin// Ooedo Ninja association// Year, moth, day}

Yamazaki: Could you tell me....how you get one of those?

Lesson 423: There's no one who's really interested in someone's license photo.

(Side text- Qualifications are important!!)

(Sign- Ooedo Ninja training institute.)


Lady: My oh my. This is rare.

Not many people are interested in taking the exam for a ninja license nowadays.

Let me tell you this first. Being a ninja isn't just about knowing how to use something like the rasengan.

If you've come hoping to learn that, you'll be disappointed boy.

Becoming a Ninja requires less flash more stealth. It's a plain sort of job.

Yamazaki: Ye—Yes ma'am.

{I had no idea...}

{That a Ninja needed a license to be a ninja...}

{That there's a such thing as a ninja training institute...}

Lady: Okay then, please sign your name, address and your desired course here.

Yamazaki: Okay.

{If I pull this off here, everyone will have to take notice.}

{Ninjas are like the professionals of information gathering.}

{If I can get the license from here, everyone will have to acknowledge just how awesome inspectors are.}
{But....am I really going to be okay in a place like this..?}

{I wonder if graduating from here will really make me a ninja?}

(Sign- Even you can be a Ninja!!//Ooedo Ninja training institute.)


Hattori: Hey what are you spacing out for over there?

Yamazaki: Uh...sorry. I was just expecting something a little different.

I always thought ninjas were raised in secret villages and trained from childhood to become what they are.

Hattori: Ah. Yeah back in the olden days that's how we used to do things...

Nowadays there aren't many people who can withstand long amounts of training.

I mean hell. Even the training arcs in Jump manga have become shorter nowadays.

See now the youngsters have more problems training against stress and overbearing parents more than anything.

Though with that said, it'd be a real shame if the ninja tradition were to fade away or worse be destroyed.

That's why we've decided to sort of lower the qualifications to become a ninja. Hence us having institutes like these rather than villages.

(Paper: Yamazaki// Address//Utamai//Desired course...)

Hattori: So what course do you want?

Yamazaki: What kind of courses are there?

Hattori: Oh..well the Genin course is sorta like taking an examination for a motor scooter license. It can be completed in a day.

Yamazaki: Eeh?! You can become a ninja in one day?!

Hattori: The 'Chuunin' course is sort of like taking on a large sized motorcycle, the 'Jounin course' is the same as an ordinary license.

And then there's the Hokage course which is a bit of trouble...to be frank it's like a normal license but with a car that only has manual drive.

Yamazaki: You're underestimating the hokage too much!!

He has achievements that he worked hard for too!!

Don't make light of Naruto and his friend's achievements!!

Hattori: Well it's thanks to this system that we're able to turn out awesome ninjas in high numbers as well as protect the ninja profession and tradition.

Yamazaki: The tradition's already been destroyed! You guys are more concerned with mass production than tradition!!


Hattori: Listen granny, I just want a license so go ahead and sign me up for the genin course. Looking forward to it.

Yamazaki: I was thinking this would be more premiere than this though..

Lady: Oh, Zen-chan...you just want to renew your license?

Hattori: Yeah, I should have gone for the gold permit...then I wouldn't have to worry about speed infractions lowering my points.

Lady: Zen-chan, you always were light on your feet.

Yamazaki: Why does a ninja have problems such as breaking the speed limit?! Isn't being fast sort of a good thing?!

Lady: All right then, I'll prepare the short course for you Zen-chan, and for you boy I'll prepare one in technical skill.

Right now though I am a bit low on test proctors....

Yamazaki: Um...aren't we like the only guys here who are taking the exam?

Lady: Just give me a minute...let me see if I can find a teacher with some free time..

Excuse me, Gramps..?

(Sfx- Gararara clatter)

Lady: There are two fine youngsters who are interested in taking on the training and instruction..

Old guy: D—don't just open that door so suddenly, old fossil!!

(Sfx- Pishaah sfhht)

Lady: You're looking at Kunoichi porn again aren't you?! I told you that you need to keep from overworking your body!

Moreover what are we going to do?! Two students have shown up at the same time for instruction!

Old guy: Shadeep! Just teach them the doppelganger technique and send them home! I just got to the good part here...

Lady: Your doppelgangers are full of so many holes that the air is seeping out! Throw them away right this second.

Old guy: What the hell are you doing woman?! My doppelgangers!! Kunoichi number threeee!!

Yamazaki: Uh...I'm sorry....

Should I have not come to be instructed...?


Old guy: And so...

Since you guys want to both take a lecture, we'll just combine your classes.

{This lecture hall...}

{It's apparently run by an elderly couple...}

Old dude: All right, lets just get this over with.

Follow me to the yard.

Yamazaki: Um...Zenzou-san...

Are we seriously going to be okay following him?

Is this really a ninja training institute?

Hattori: There's no need to worry man. Look at that old dude.

Formerly he was good friends with my dad, the previous head of the Oniwaban.

His mastery of ninjitsu is up to par.

More like the license exam for genin is really like getting a license for a motor bike. The degree of difficulty is about the same too.

If you just shut your mouth and do what the old dude tells you, you'll be fine.

Old dude: All right, from here on in we'll be working on your ninja courses simultaneously.

I'll be drilling ninja skills into you point by point.

As you can see the road is represented by an S letter path. To start you'll practice on parking your cars along this path.

Yamazaki: Um, I hate to break it to you but that really has nothing to do with being a ninja. It sounds really like you are drilling the basics to getting a motor scooter license into us.


Hattori: See? Easy right?

Old guy: If you're able to pass everything then you'll be ninjas that no one will be able to contest.

Now I’ll be assuring that you two are primed for safety...

Go ahead and park the car.

Yamazaki: I'm sorry Sensei...


That's not a car but a frog isn't it?!

Old guy: Since the olden times a Ninja's care has always been a frog. If you want your license you'd best hop aboard this thing and hop away.

Yamazaki: But there's no one who's going to want a froggy driver's license!!

Old guy: Huh? You don't want to use the small sized four legged model? Then...what about the bigger size?

(Sfx- Zuuun ffoomp)

Yamazaki: I'm not interested in the Kyuubi either!!

Old guy: Sorry about that, then was it the Hokage course you wansed?

Instead I'll be throwing Chikuwa at you, and you'll have to adjust the clutch in time to avoid being hit. Oh and you're only allowed to eat Chikuwa.

Yamazaki: Do I look like Hattori-kun to you?

(TN- Not Hattori Zenzou, but the character Hattori from a classic manga called Ninja Hattori-kun.)


Old guy: Ooh So it's the Genin course you gents are interested in. Why didn't you say that earlier?

Yamazaki: We've been saying that from the start.

Old guy: Then it's just a fact of laying out the basics for you two. Shall we go around the course together then?

Yamazaki: Um Zenzou-san...

Hattori: It's cool, it's cool. He's a little bit slow, but i'm sure even his body remembers the basics.

Old guy: All right, lets start with drilling the basics into the legs.

Look closely.

A ninja's legs could be considered his most important weapon.

To get away from his enemies, being quick on his feet is a must. Moreover when sneaking into the enemy's lair, being able to leap long distances is a must.

In the olden days, a ninja would have to train himself rigorously in order to gain the benefit of strong legs.

In this training there was one very essential part.

This is jumping over a flax plant's seeds every day as it pokes out of the ground.

At first this seems easy enough, but the flax tree grows rather quickly.

After a few months it's height rivals some trees.

Yamazaki: Ah! I've heard of this.

So by jumping over the flax tree every day, their leg power would grow and in addition to that they'd be able to maintain the ability to jump high.

{Oh that's a relief...finally we're doing something ninja like.}

Yamazaki: Though wait a minute...if the genin license only takes a day to get, how will we possibly wait for a flax tree to grow...?

Old guy: No need to worry, my Asagi grows rather quickly.


Old guy: Isn't that right?


{Isn't that the old lady from the reception deessssssk?!}

Old guy: My Asagi's growth is amazing you could say she's this office's strength....if a genin can handle this, they may just be ready for the Oniwaban.
Though for goodness sake, it sure doesn't take much to join the Oniwaban now does it, Asagi.

{Yeah I know that things are kind of quick now but this is over doing it!! All you're doing is burying na old woman alive!!}

Hattori: Old man...I understand the old lady can grow fast and all, but this can't possibly be considered training.

I mean it's going to be a cake walk to jump over her....can't she grow more than this?

Old guy: What are you saying?! Asagi's stopped many a whippersnapper like you in her time! Right Asagi?!

This isn't the end of her at all...

(Sfx- Zuboooh booomph)

Old guy: We haven't even gotten started yet, have we Asagi?

(Sfx- Boko boko boko boko ddsshdsshshhdsh)


Yamazaki: Asagi is really not ending!! She's literally able to go on forever!!

What the hell?!

Old guy: It's a doppelganger jutsu. She's been working on this day in and day out....because of it she can grow indefinitely, just to meet your steadily increasing jumping height. Right? Asagi?

Yamazaki: Waaaait! She's sort of evolved too far!! She literally returned to the ground!! Right Asagi?!

(Sfx- Zeh zeh zeh)

(Sfx- Chon tap)

(Sfx- Dododooo thoooomp)

Hattori: Aaah, Asagi's a lot like dominos huh.

After all, a Ninja's greatest feat isn't just being able to leap over a wall you know.

If he meets up with a wall that can't be jumped, then destroying the wall using whatever means possible is also ninja like.

Yamazaki: He's saying something that indicates a failure to understand the principle of this exercise!!


Asagi: That's Zen-chan for you...he was able to use my self destruction to destroy the wall?

You really are the son of the former head...

Please become a great ninja....

(Sfx- Gaku thup)

(Handwritten- Asagiiii!!!)

Yamazaki: There isn't a single good ninja around here at all!!

Old guy: You've done well....I never would have thought you'd defeat Asagi...I congratulate you.

Now I'll throw Asagi and Chikuwa at you....avoid the Asagi and eat the chikuwa.


Old guy: Now, for the next gateway.

If the last training focused on a ninja's 'movement'....

this would be training for his 'silence'.

A Ninja has to be able to move between locations in a sleek and most of all quiet fashion. He must be able to erase his presence and apperance and blend perfectly with his surroundings.

Even if it means hiding in deep water to conceal himself...

Now I'll have you dive in this pond and hide yourselves perfectly.

Yamazaki: So it's a water escape jutsu...

By using a bamboo shoot's hole we hide underwater and breathe through the tube.....


Old guy: Not quite.

You'll be breathing through Asagi's hole and hiding within the water.


Old guy: You may not able to find a bamboo shoot in an emergency situation, so you have to be able use this too, right Asagi?


Old guy: It's the same trick as using the bamboo, all you have to do is keep your face hidden under water and draw oxygen from it.

You can get oxygen out of Asagi's ass.

Yamazaki: That hooooole?! That's not oxygen coming out of there, but poison gas!!

Old guy: In any case you're not going to gain any points from me by just floating there.

Now start!

(Sfx- Zapuuun blloosh)

{No way.}

{No matter how much I want a license...}

{This sort of mouth to mouth...}

{Is out of the question!!}

(Sfx- Gashiih ruuub)




{You'll have to put up with my gas.}

(Sfx- Gan thunk)

(Sfx- Gan thunk)

(Sfx- Buriishhh blooosh)

{What passes through me...}

{Will be received by you.}

(Sfx- Puri puri blooosh bloosh)

{This is...}

(Sfx- Buku buku bloorp bloorp)

(Sfx- Dooooooon fwooooom)

{A three way split!!}


(Sfx- Doshaaaah thuuud)

Old guy: A—Asagiii!

It stiiiiiinnnKKS!

(Sfx- Zapaah bloosh)

Hattori: Old dude, I think I heard you say 'oK' just now.

Yamazaki: On what basis did we pass that?!

(Sfx- Goho geho cough cough)

Hattori: A ninja's greatest feat isn't just being able to erase his presence you know...

Sometimes he has to use methods that in fact erase his enemy's presence. That too is ninja-like.

Yamazaki: Rather than erasing her presence, she just left a terrible stink in the air!!

Asagi: A Ninja's entire body is a dangerous weapon if used correctly...

And you were able to use that weapon so well....incredible.

I know you'll become a great ninja...

(Sfx- Gaku)

Yamazaki: Um no! That wasn't a dangerous weapon, just your ass gas! Besides I didn't do that!!

Old guy: Great work. I congradulate you.

This time I'll throw Asagi at you. Watch me from there.

Yamazaki: This is just domestic violence, plain and simple!!


Old guy: It's quite amazing you've made it this far through the genin lesson...it's really a waste not to go further.

Yamazaki: Um...no thanks. The difference is a larger model right?

Old guy: But we're at the final gate.

If you manage do pass this, you'll receive the genin licesene.

You've been training in the ninja abilities so far....

but this time we'll train your 'heart'.

Most important to a ninja is confidence in his own abilities.

If you end up in a truly reprehenisible mission, your heart and mind must be forged in order to fufill the objective.

That's right....such as...

A mission to kill the teacher who raised you...

Yamazaki: Y—you're kidding...

Asagi: G--

Gramps you...

Old guy: Yes...

The final gateway is...


(Sfx- Gohh Thuuud)

Old guy: Asa---

Asagi: That's right...

The final gate is...

Beating the old man with chikuwa and your licenses.

Whichever one you desire is the one you pick up.

You must be able to put aside all worthless and pointless desires within your own hearts in order to meet your expectations to yourselves and others. What is it that you want?

???: NOW LET'S GO!!


Shinsengumi: Hey...

Yamazaki's being honored again.
(Sign- Special achievement award: Yamazaki Sagaru)

Shinsengumi: It's for that boring ass inspection work again isn't it?

No...this time it had nothing to do with stakeouts or the like...this time he took on the enemies all by himself.


He's like a completely different person! His movements confounded the enemies and he took 'em down!

His coldhearted methods of fighting...

It's as if he's a ninja!

Seriously?! What did he...

ah! Yamazaki!!

Congrats on your aweard! Do you think you could spare some time to eat lunch with us?! We've got all kinds of things we wanna ask you.

Yamazaki: Nah.

I'm fine with eating Chikuwa.

(Side text- The birth of Yamazaki neo?!)

GINTAMA LESSON 423...........END.

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