3000 leagues in search of a scabbard.
Translation 650. I wouldn't have gotten there without the support of countless people. To all of you, thanks. Please support me for 650 more.
(Side text- This week is a Katana story...)
???: This is a good Katana.
Tetsuko: It's a nameless blade, but it appears to cut well.
A long time ago it and it's user were considerably reckless but...
Now it's become irreplaceable, and rests here in retirement after long and dutiful military service.
Shinpachi: Ooh. You can tell all of that by just looking at a katana Tetsuko-san?
The truth is that katana is actually a keepsake from Otose-san's husband.
With his death anniversary coming up we wanted to have it polished.
Tetsuko: I see..it's no wonder when I hold this I can tell it's been around.
Shinpachi: That's why we wanted to bring this katana to a blacksmith to have it polished up before it wears out.
Tetsuko: I can bring it to you polished tomorrow.
Plus I can tell the katana really wants to be returned to Otose-san's place as soon as possible.
Kagura: Tetsuko you are amazing!
You can talk to katanas, yes?
Tetsuko: I—It's not like that.
Kagura: Then you could do katana fortunetelling could you not, yes?
Tetsuko: I—I'm telling you it's not really that impressive...
Kagura: Then what? What? What is it? Is it some kind of mentalism?
Tetsuko: Y—you can generally get an idea of how old a katana is and how the person whom owned it used it by looking at it's head.
All I’m doing is looking at that closely.
Shinpachi: That's still awesome! We couldn't tell that sort of thing by looking at a katana at all.
Tetsuko: That's just because I’ve seen a few more katana than you guys is all...
Kagura: Hey! Then...tell me...
What does this katana say?
Tetsuko: Hmm...this one's been used with extreme brashness it seems...
Tetsuko: Unlike other katanas where on first glance one can tell that they've seen countless battlefields and tasted lots of blood....it's a bit different.
This looks more like it's been used to balance cup ramen...and the column is a bit off...
It looks like the sort of tool that might be used for decapitation...a harbringer of bad luck.
(Handwritten- I feel much better.)
Shinpachi: Bad luck?
Rather than the blood of enemies...
(Sfx- Gahh thuk)
Tetsuko: It wants the blood of it's owner.
(Sfx- Gasuuhh thuuk)
Kagura: Waah! That's amazing!
(Sfx- Shuuuuuh bllloooosh)
Shinpachi: So even the katana knows it can make light of it's owner huh? I'd expect no less from the katana teacher!!
Kagura: Although we too make light of him so we already understood that.
Gintoki: What's this about a katanasmith dammit?!
Why is something that can cut people in two lying on the floor like that?!
Hey Tetsuko! As a blacksmith is it okay for the tools of your trade to control you like this?!
Tetsuko: What is this katana?
I don't recall a customer leaving this here...
Gintoki: What's with you getting senile all of a sudden? A katana comes to a blacksmith to get massaged right? How do you forget one huh?
Shinpachi: Why are you turning a blacksmith into what seems to be a sex service shop?
Kagura: It is not as if she has to chase out those with low salary in the morning, yes?
She also listens to their complaints.
Tetsuko: Um...no, I don't really do that.
Gintoki: Well hell. Even I can do something like that.
The customers like this sorta thing too starting out from before completely naked and everything..
Maybe the scabbard has been thrown out, but today how about we just forget everything and from tomorrow on do a 180 on our thinking processes.
(Sfx- Poi toss)
Gintoki: In fact it would be awesome if it'd change occupations and become a hotpot for chinese at Gin-san's house.
???: Aaaaaah!! Waaait!
Gintoki: Awwright Tetsuko, you think you could get cracking on that hotpot for us?
Shinpachi(?): What are you doooing?! You don't even know who's katana that might have been!!
Gintoki: Didn't hear it? It's already tired of being used to slice people down.
Rather than causing people pain, it'd rather save them with the flavor of fried rice. Starting with us.
Shinpachi: You need to change jobs!! You're not resourceful in the least!!
Gintoki: You guys still have a long way to go to be samurai.
If you want to be top rate samurai you have to understand your swor'd voice.
Gintoki: Aah...even in my heart I can hear the delightful voice of the katana....I can totally feel it.
Shinpachi: Um....excuse me..
We can sorta...hear something too right now.
Shinpachi: It's not really pleasant....more like a scream of death's agony...
You guys can hear it too...
(Sfx- Dozuuuh thuud)
(Sfx- Pota pota drip drip)
???: What tha' hell you tryin' to pull?
(Sfx- Katsuuhh sheeen)
???: I'm tryin' to suck up some blood ya heaaaaaaaaar?!
(Side text- What's going on here?!)
Lesson 424: 3000 leagues in search of a scabbard.
(TN- The title is loosely based off of an old children's anime called 3000 leagues in search of mother. The original title is Haha wo tasunete sanzenri with the Gintama title here being Saya wo tazunete sansenri. I should point out that like Heidi, this anime was based off a french book. Sorachi seems to like those quite a bit....)
(Sfx- Zuzuuh ssflllurp)
Samurai of nowadays really..
Don't know what they're doin'! It's scary like.
Normally when ya see a katana as pretty as me ya tend ta admire it and such.
But ya better be careful...tha katana of current times might be good lookin' but they're all cheap. They ain't gentle and blunt like yers truly here.
Ya best listen to the words that this blunt old coger has ta say to ya.
Katana: Now now, aint no need to worry yer pretty little head. Just reflect on what i'm sayin, hear?
This old guy ain't mad or nothin. Just in this age ya gotta heed tha words that the adults of the previous era gotta say. Yer senpai are who cut that path forward, so leavin' em aside is ain't no good.
Well sometimes tough times are reciprocated ya know?
Lets just forget this little thing with one go ya know?
(Sfx- Suru zuru sfft sfft)
Katana: Now then! Lets have us some fine tastin' tea!!
Gintoki: MY ASS DAMMMITT!!
(Sfx- Jyuuuuuu ssssssssst)
Gintoki: How about you get out of this person's injury immediately?!
How long are you going to stick out of someone's ass?!
(Sfx- Pusu pusu ssshhhshhh)
Gintoki: More like, what the hell are you?! What race?!
What the hell?! It's not coming out at all!!
(Sfx- Mishi mishii grrnd grnnd)
Katana: Bro, yer best off not doin' that. You're basically my joint now.
At long last I found me the scabbard I’ve been looking for!!
Gintoki: Who wants their ass to be a scabbard?!
Shinpachi: Hold on!! Both of you just calm down for a minute...!
Gintoki: How can I calm down dammit?! I've got a fucking katana sticking out of my ass!!
Kagura Just be quiet and sit down.
(Sfx- Dosuuhh thuud)
Katana: That's right. Ya can see from my appearance that I'm a full fledged amanto.
I'm Kusanagi from Excalibur star ya see.
(TN- Kusanagi is a legendary Japanese katana from the Imeprial Regalia of Japan. Meanwhile Excalibur is a European katana of legend.)
Kusanagi: I came here 'ta earth so long ago that I forgot tha reason why.
I've been naked as a jaybird loiterin' around for a scabbard since I was a lil' pup though. It's cause o' that that I became a famous blade and all.
Shinpachi: Um..could you not use 'naked' and 'loitered' in the same sentence with that name?
Kusanagi: Us Excalibur beings have something called tha metal flow in our bodies.
That is ta say that no matter what shape we are or might become, our bodies will have life within 'em.
So we've taken tha shape of different kinds of weapons and been on all sorts o planets fightin in all sorts o battles in the hands of all sorts o warrior clans.
A long time ago I smelt war and decided that I would thrust myself into it...so I came here.
Since then I met my wife Sayako and tha two of us hit it off real well laucnhin into an intimate relationship fit for a katana.
Shinpachi: Who's Sayako?! Wait are you saying the scabbard is your wife?!
(TN- Saya is scabbard. Ko is usually used in female's names in Japan. Hence, Sayako.)
Kusanagi: Back then she was way too good for tha likes of me.
It was simple back then, she always welcomed me back wit a warm and gentle smile whenever I met her.
Back then I was a youngun' too so each and every day I’d come and go several times.
(Sfx- Kasha kasha shfft shfft)
Shinpachi: Stop moving like that!! What's it supposed to mean?! Is it that?!
Kagura: You seemed to get along well with your scabbard. Why are you naked now Kusanagi member?
Shinpachi: Hey! Don't refer to him as 'member'!!
Tetsuko: A Katana and scabbard are supposed to be of one heart and one body. They can't work alone or as fragments....it's kind of like S**P...isn't it?
Shinpachi: Hey!! You guys are doing this on purpose aren't you!?
Kusanagi: As time went by and I got on in my years I started getting' blunt.
My master finally saw me off to a pawnshop. Mah luck seemed to have run out.
Considerin' I was blunt I didn't think he'd find a buyer so soon...
But I was soon sold off...
Then I got thrown out into a muddy river.
Seems like tha' customer didn't care none about no blunt katana, but he had fallen at first sight at mah scabbard.
That was many years ago, and i've been searchin' for Sayako ever since.
But in tha' end I still haven't found where she might be.
I came here thinkin' I might be able to find a scabbard at a blacksmith's shop...
But it seems like it was in vain...maybe tis all over...
Tetsuko: I see...that's why you buried yourself here...
Kusanagi: See it's cause I was blunt that I lost my master and my partner.
No one's gonna wanna lay their hands on me as long as i'm like this. Goin' back is also a no go.
My shine from back then.....
And my beloved other half....
But I know ain't nothin' gonna happen as long as i'm blunt. I can't do nothin' bout how tha years have dulled my body.
I don't mind if it's only for a min...
But I need a master...
This body ain't gonna never be fixed if I don't have a scabbard....it's essential.
I'm beggin' ya....
Won't ya let me...
borrow this ass for a little while?
Shinpachi: Hello there everyone!
Come right up and have a look!
Could the katana at your side be a treasure that brings you great luck! Or it could be a Youtou that brings nothing but misfortune?
(Sign- Murata Tetsuko's Katana forutne)
Kagura: Won't you allow Edo's number one katanasmith Murata Tetsuko have a look at your katana?
Shinpachi: This time around is a first time free service! She'll look at your katana for absoulteyl free!!
Kagura: The early bird gets the worm!!
Kusanagi: Thank ya so much.
Tetsuko: I've never seen a real katana without it's scabbard.
Kusnagi: Then you aren't doing it for this guy's filthy ass...
But for me...you'd...
Tetsuko: It's not for you....
I'm a katanasmith...
If a named katana rolls in front of me, do you think I could go without trying to sharpen it?
(Sfx- Bahhh fwaaaf)
(Sfx- Dooooon blooosh)
Tetsuko: If it's a dirty ass you need I'll give you as many as you need, so just wait quietly.
Kusnagi: Sorry about that! I forgot i'm takin' up residence in a dirty asshole! Dahahaahah!
(Sfx- Gabaaah splissh)
Gintoki: Who's dirty ass do you think this issssss?!
Moreover what the hell do you people think you're doing dedicating my ass and changing it's designated purpose?! Who's ass is dirty to begin with?!
Shinpachi: We can't help it...until we find the scabbard, your ass is going to have to do....
Kagura: If you want to be freed, then you will help us find the scabbard he was living with and separated from, yes?
Gintoki: Don't screw with me!! Why should I do...
Shinpachi(?): Oh by the way, the Excalibur people are known as vampire organisms it seems. If you waste too much time then..
Kusanagi: I'll suck every last drop...
of blood in your body.
Gintoki: Excuse me...
Won't you be the scabbard that sharpens my katana?
(Sfx- Pan slap)
Kusanagi: That ain't gonna do bro...ya gotta bare your heart or ya ain't never gonna find a scabbard in yer whole life.
Gintoki: I really don't want to hear that from a naked blade sticking out of someone else's ass. For whom's sake do you think I'm suffering through this for?
Kusanagi: Let me try then.
Hey there sis.
Wanna get your *** sucked dry?
Gintoki: I'll friggin kill you, blunty!!
More like why am I the one being hit for your stupid pick up lines?! Why do I have to do this shit in the first place?!
Kusanagi: I screwed up. Let me suck your *** dry please.
Shinpachi: What kind of scabbard are the two of you looking for?!
You're both dirty and blunt dammit! You keep that up and your stick and sack won't see any use!!
Shinpachi: You're supposed to be looking for your bride Sayako right?!
So why are you looking for a new scabbard?!
Gintoki: Let's back up and ask why I have a katana sticking out of my ass while looking for a scabbard?More like, I'm gonna look for my own scabbard dammit.
Kusanagi: Yer makin' sense there bro. Men gotta take their blades out and look for their scabbards their own way.
Tetsuko: Is that it? Then I've found the perfect scabbard for you.
(Sfx- Zushiiin dooom)
(Handwritten- We're looking to collect your familiar household items...)
Kusanagi: I'm real sorry 'bout that.
Shinpachi: Could you please look more seriously?
I mean at least stick to people who are carrying katana.
Well there probably won't be too many of those with the sword prohibition ban these days...
(Sfx- Katakata clackclack)
Gintoki: Owowowo!! Stop that!! What are you doing?
(Sfx- Katakatakata clatterclatter)
Kusanagi: This ain't my doin! It's....
This is a resonance vibration!
(Sfx- Kata kata clatter clatter)
Kusanagi: T—there's another from my race nearby...
Shinpachi: Wait! Are you saying it's Sayako-sa..
(Sfx- Bussuhh Sfft)
Tetsuko: You really seem to associate well with your katana it seems..
(Sfx- Kata kata clatter clatter)
Dude: Really now missy?
It seems my katana agrees with you...
What else can you see?
Perhaps the countless people I have cut down...?
Can you hear their screaming voices...?
Or is it those who have been devoured by this guy....?
The sound of the katana that he's broken?
(Sfx- Jakii chink)
(Sfx- Kata kata clatterclatter)
(Sfx- Kata kata clatterclatter)
Dude: What a shame...
Looks like an annoyance has entered...
I'll come back for my fortune....
I'm sure we'll meet again.
Gintoki: Who's that guy?
Shinpachi: Is this okay Kusanagi-san?
If that was from Excalibur star perhaps...
They might have an idea of where Sayako-san might be?
(Sfx- Gaku gaku shiver shiver)
Kusanagi: N—no way...
To think he came to this planet too...
(Sfx- Buru buru shiver shiver)
Kusanagi: This ain't good...
getting involved with him ain't gonna happen.
Gintoki: Knock that off already dammit, my ass it at it's limit..
That ain't a resonance, just your shaking...
Okita: Ahh...he got away huh?
If I come back empty handed, Hijikata-san will bitch...
(Sfx- Gachari clack)
Okita: You'll do as an exchange.
While your bokutou isn't a problem, you can't tell me you don't know about the sword ban going on nowadays....
For violating the swords and guns control act...
as well as public indecency....I'm placing you under arrest.
Gintoki: EEEEEH?! WHAT?! WAIT!!
THAT'S NOT IT!!
HEEEY!! YOU SAY SOMETHING TOO!!
(Sfx- Kata kata clatterclatter)
GINTOKI: QUIT SHAKING DAMMIT!!
This ain't shakin....
I—I found it...
I finally found it...
The scabbard for that guy's katana...is without a doubt..
(Side text- Unexpectedly close!!!)
GINTAMA LESSON 424..........END.
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