Gintama 460

Roaches don't die easy, and neither should human affection.



(Sfx- Pihyra Pihyra *dong dong*)
GINTAMA
(Side text- As summer ends…)
???: Yanno when you think about it, people and moths aren’t that different.
They have festivals and they have mass gatherings around fireworks.
They don’t even make distinctions of what lights they’re looking at as long as its’ there.
Though unless we bugs suddenly sprout wings, straddling the stars is sort of meaningless.
Okita: Well, it’s not all bad. Thanks to all these little buggies being here, we’ve got plenty of food if we cast our net.
Cause it isn’t just the happy-go-lucky moths that gather around the lights yanno.
There are some pretty big headed stag beetles hiding within the masses.
(Sfx- Don *bump*)
Dude: Hey! Watch out!
Are your eyes decorations old man?! Do ya wanna die?!

002
(Sfx- Gachaa *clack*)
???: You’re the ones who need to watch out.
There are youths trying to have a good time, and here you are trying to perform lewd acts. Do you think I’m just gonna look the other way?
Okita: And here we go.
Kondo: If you don’t stop the lewdness in public right this second…
I’ll throw yer asses in the slammer~
(Sfx- Hiiiiiii!!!)
(Sfx- Kyaaaaaaaah!!!)
Hijikata: That’s no stagbeetle…
It’s a cockroach.

003
(Side text- What kind of summer…)
(Side text- Did you have this year…?)
(Side text- The HDZ arc in its entirety!! The latest JC volume #51 has just hit stores all over!!)
GINTAMA
Lesson 460: Love is Gokiburi hoi-hoi.
SORACHI HIDEAKI.
(TN- Gokiburi hoi-hoi is a trap meant for killing roaches. I just couldn’t think of a good way to localize that.)

004
Hijikata: And just what is going on here….?
Okita: Looks like someone got dumped before he could get his yukata date on.
(Sfx- Zun zun *doom doom*)
Kondo: Otae-san! This yukata totally suits you!
Don’t worry. Even if your breasts are tiny, this yukata totally leaves a lot to the imagination!
(Handwritten- Lets go to the festival together!!)
Tae: I’m so sorry. It appears I’ll have to attend a festival of bloodletting soon.
(Sfx- Gacha *clack*)
Okita: And so that woeful tale is the reason why we’re seeing a change from Yukata date to Yukata death. It happened faster than I thought though.
(Handwritten- Hey! I’m seeing too much in that yukata! Knock off the lewdness and get the hell back in your house!)
Okita: Well at least this’ll curtail any youthful delinquency.
Hijikata: Are you retarded? He’s totally only targeting the stupid couples here.
If he keeps this up, our reputation is going to go into the crapper. We gotta do something.
Okita: Hey Kondo-san.
Kondo: WHAT?!
Okita: It’s cool if you want to hunt stupid couples and stuff, but you might end up scaring those who haven’t done anything wrong.

005
Okita: Why not use a festival version for today?
Kondo: Are there any people in yukatas doing lewd things heeeere?
Hijikata: Sogo…this festival has just gotten scarier.
Okita: See, but now if he walks around wearing that during the festival our rep as the Shinsengumi won’t suffer cause he won’t get found out.
(Sfx- Kyaaaaaaaaah!!)
Hijikata: Just what the hell are you releasing upon everyone? What kind of festival is this?
Okita: Well, if we’re done here I’m gonna go make sure that the Takoyaki has enough ‘tako’ in it, if you know what I mean.
Hijikata: Hey wait! I have to go uh..find out if my favorite takoyaki stand is using just the right amount of mayo!!
(Handwritten- I don’t know anything about this dammit!)
{What…}
{The hell am I doing here?}
{Because I was unable to find any happiness….}
{I’m trying to force everyone else to suffer.}

006
{Just as the mask on my face depicts…I’m no more than a roach….a leader of roaches even.}
{It’s actually no wonder that Otae-san would dump me with my horrible temperament.}
{The fact that a guy like me would try to undermine a festival like this…}
{Just proves that I’m just stuck in a sticky trap in the shadows of some kitchen somewhere without any hope of escape. It suits me perfectly.}
{I’m a roach so I should go back to where roaches belong.}
???: Ah! Hey look at that!!
Kagura: It’s the masked Gokiburida Black RX, yes?!
He’s really here! He’s the dirty hero who protects the world from the shadows of the kitchen!
Tae: Oh Kagura-chan you’re so silly! That’s just a mask…
{O---Otae-san?!}
{Oh I see!! She didn’t go with me to the festival cause she decided to come with the china girl…}
Kagura: Aw. That is boring. Oh! Yakisoba, yes?!
Tae: I—I’m sorry for the rudeness.
Kondo: E—er not—not a problem. It’s okay.

007
{Sh—she hasn’t noticed it’s me?}
Tae: Kagura-chan?
Oh my..where has Kagura-chan gotten to?
{Of course…I’m wearing this mask after all.}
Tae: This isn’t good. I’m afraid I lost sight of her.
And she has my wallet too…
{C—could this be…}
Kondo: U—um…well if it doesn’t bother you…
We could try searching for her together?
Tae: Thank you for helping out…you’re a life saver. But…are you sure you want to do this?
Kondo: Er…well when people are in trouble I help them.
{Th—this…}
{THIS IS A MIRACLEEEEEEE!!!}
{I’m actually spending time at a festival with Otae-san!!!!!}
{I…I can’t believe this…!!!}
{Asking and pleading didn’t do me any good but my luck completely changed when I became a roach!! I’m being blessed!}

008
Tae: But we are at a festival…are you sure you don’t want to go and enjoy yourself?
Kondo: I—It’s fine. I have free time. Though a girl on her own might run into trouble.
Tae: You’re right….I wonder if Kagura-chan will be okay?
Kondo: No..I wasn’t only referring to her…but you.
A person as beautiful as you shouldn’t be left all alone.
Tae: Eh? Me?
(Sfx- Kusukusu *teehee*)
Tae: Well thank you.
You really are an ally of justice after all, huh?
{What are these positive vibrations?! I’ve never felt anything like this until now!!}
{I’m just a roach!! Even when I was Kondo Isao, I never felt this good!}
{Wait….am I an existence lower than a roach’s?}
{N—no, this isn’t the time to worry about that.}
{I’m actually on a genuine date with Otae-san. Who gives a crap if I’m a roach!?}
???: Hey there you two. Wanna play?

009
Gintoki: Huh?
Oh. It’s you.
(Sign- YOROZUYA// We can do anything!)
Tae: Gin-san!
{Crap!!}
{Wh..Why the hell does he have to be here?!}
Tae: What are you doing at a place like this?
Gintoki: Eh, well with this festival in full swing I figured ‘Why not make a couple of bucks on the side’?
{This is a friggin once in a lifetime chance and an actual roach crawls out of the woodwork!!}
Gintoki: And what are YOU doing? Going out with a roach?
Kondo: How rude! I’ll have you know I’m not just a roach, but masked Gokiburida!!
Gintoki: So you’re the leader of roaches (Gokiburi)? So in short that makes you a Roach leader. (Gokiburida.)
Kondo: NO! I’m Gokiburida!!
Gintoki: Right. A Roach. I got it.
Tae: Really Gin-san, you shouldn’t be so rude. He’s helping me find Kagura-chan who got lost…so he’s a kind roach.
Gintoki: A roach is a roach in the end.
Oh Kagura showed up earlier and took off with Shinpachi’s wallet. He went after her so I expect them to be back in a little bit.
Tae: Oh good. Then we can just wait here for them.
{C—crap! The problem’s already been solved, and with it my reason to be with Otae-san is gone…!!}

010
Tae: Thank you Gokiburida-san! Thanks to you, alls well that ends wel…
Kondo: Craaaaaap!! Who would put a gokiburi hoi hoi hereeeee?!
(Sfx- Nichaaaaahh *blooorsh*)
Tae: Gokiburida-san!!
Kondo: Dammitall! Now I can’t move a single inch…which means I have to stay at this stall…!! Whatever will I do?!
At this rate I won’t be able to go and hang out like I wanted! Damn you stall owner!
Gintoki: Er..no. You’re actually getting in the way of my business so…could you leave?
Kondo: That’s right…if I can’t go hang out anyway I’d might as well wait here with you Otae-san! How about it?!
Tae: But I’m the one who owes you…
Kondo: Th—then how about you and I stay together a bit longer? You can pay me back that way?
Tae: I have no problem with spending more time with you….
{SWEEET!!}
Tae: But I have no money….
Gintoki: Otae, you’re embarrassing me as a man.
At a time like this a guy might worry that he doesn’t at least have flowers for his sweetie, but I’ve got great rates for couples.
(Handwritten- Something like this.)
{Single: 200 yen// Couples 300 yen// Roaches 6000 yen.}
Kondo: You’re expecting too much if you think roaches come with flowers!! And you’re basically writing off couples in the end there!!
Gintoki: It’s not like I can help it. You know when you see one roach it’s thought there are at least 30 more on their way.
Kondo: Yeah, maybe when one is at HOME. Why are you charging a going rate for 30 roaches?!
Gintoki: If you don’t want to pay then Otae can just wait here for Kagura to show up.
Kondo: Dammit…if it only it weren’t for this sticky roach trap keeping my legs from moving!!

011
Gintoki: In exchange you get to try your hand at our goldfish scooping or target practice…whatever you want to do.
(Handwritten- Only we Yorozuya can do this.)
Gintoki: Experience all the thrills of an amusement park all right here.
{D—dammit. I don’t have a choice.}
{It’s all to ensure a great date with Otae-san at this festival.}
Kondo: T—then, shall I do target practice Otae-san?
Tae: Oh my! How nostalgic!
{If I can strut my stuff here and show her a good time…then not just this part of the date but everything from here on will go great…}
{And then I’ll have it….}
{A Gokiburi hoi-hoi date that will capture Otae-san’s heart!!}
Gintoki: Allrighty. Come with me this way.
Kondo: Otae-san, is there anything you want?
I’ll show you my amazing shooting skills.
Tae: Oh really?
Well…what should I choose?
Hehe…I’m not sure.
{It’s like my heart is being cleansed…}
{So this is a festival date…}

012
Tae: Then….
How about that handkerchief?
Gintoki: You’ve got quite the eye for quality young lady. That’s the name brand good ‘Bitch’.
All right then Mr. Lucky Boyfriend…you’d better make sure to aim well and hit it dead center.
Now let your bullet fly.
Kondo: DO YOU REALLY INTEND ON GIVING THAT PRIZE UP?!
Heeeeey!! The bullet can’t possibly reach that far can it?! Do you think that ace snipers are going to attend this festival?
Gintoki: This is a service for couples dude. Think of it as aiming the distance between a girlfriend and her boyfriend’s hearts.
Kondo: This is too far dammit! We’re so close but we can’t see each other!
Gintoki: You sure give up fast for a roach, ya bum.
Kondo: Then YOU shoot that handkerchief!!
Gintoki: Who said anything about aiming for a handkerchief?
Kondo: What?!

013
Gintoki: Shoot that thing all you want…doesn’t mean you’ll own it.
You’ll have to get a headshot of the guy running that stall first…and while he’s knocked out then…
Kondo: IT’S IN SOMEONE ELSE’S STALL?!
That’s not target shooting, it’s armed robbery!!
Gintoki: If you aren’t prepared to hurt someone then you shouldn’t pick up a gun.
Kondo: I’d be more than happy to bust a cap in your head though.
Gintoki: Fine fine. I guess I can get you guys a pea shooter if that’s what you want. It’s your 6000 yen afterall.
Kondo: THE HELL IS WITH THAT PRICE?! I’D MIGHT AS WELL JUST BUY THE HANKERCHIEF!!
(Sfx- Basaaah *fwaaap*)
Tae: Wow…how amazing…
A Bitch bag…how did you get that Gin-san?
Gintoki: That’s our featured good.
Now can you guys shoot it down?
Kondo: Um…there’s something kind of strange sitting in front of that featured good!
(Sfx- Chiiin *diiing*)

014
Kondo: Why is that bag sitting on an altar?!
And who the hell is that old guy wearing glasses?!
W—wait old dude, you’re really sort of in the way so could you move for a sec?
I’m about to shoot that target there! I’m really going to do it!
(Sfx- Paaan *thunk.*)
Kondo: Oh I got it…but it was just that fruit.
Why’s the old guy glaring over here?! He’s totally glaring at me!!
???: He’s throwing prizes at us!!
(Sfx- Buunn *wiffft*)
Kondo: WHAT KIND OF TARGET SHOOTING IS THIS?!
Dammit, I can’t hit the bag at all!!
Whoaaaaaa!! The old guy’s cryiiiiing!!
He won’t let go of the prize now!!
???: It looks like a picture of the deceased!
It’s a picture of a granny in glasses.
Kondo: Are you serious?! So it’s that sorta thing? A picture of his deceased wife?!

015
Kondo: It’s so hard to look into his tearstained eyes and shoot!! D—dammit!!
(Sfx- Paaan *blam*)
Kondo: NOW IT’S SUNGLASS WEARING GRANDCHILDREN!!!
They’ve become a perfect defense against these bullets haven’t they?! Is this seriously happening?!
Now it totally looks like we were planning something the whole time!! No matter how you write it off this is no longer normal target shooting!!
Gintoki: Heheheh. If you have something worth any money give it to me and pay off your debt. That’s the sorta feeling you’re going for right?
Kondo: WHY THE HELL ARE YOU MAKING AN APPERANCE?!
Gintoki: Oh? That looks sorta awesome.
I guess I’ll make do with this for today! Is the sorta feeling I’m going for.
Kondo: QUIT ABSCONDING WITH OUR PRIIIIIZEEE!!

016
Kondo: Heeeey!! Why are you trying to get away with the prize from your own stall?!
(Handwritten- Skip skip skip to my lu~)
Kondo: HOLD IIIIITT!! QUIT MOVING!! I CAN’T HIT YOU THAT WAY!!
(Sfx- Gatsuhh *thunk*)
Gintoki: I’ve got it now!!
If I want to hit that bag now’s the time!!
(Sfx- Bugkuuh *trripp*)
Kondo: Here’s my last shot…!!
(Sfx- Dosahhh *fwaap*)
(Sfx- Basaaah *wap*)
(Note: Congrats on your 60th wedding anniversary. Sorry for this being late....this is the Bitch bag that you wanted so much. I know I’ve lived a life without morals for such a long time and wasn’t able to give this to you while you were living in this world but I’ll keep it along with our grandchildren as we wait with our glasses till the day we meet again. Certainly then we will be able to go on a date at the festival together again.)
(Sfx- Kata kata *shiver shiver*)
Kondo: Dammitall..
Dammit!!
My—hand…it won’t..
(Sfx- Buru buru buru shive shiver shiver*)
(Sfx- Gatsu *grab*)

017
(Sfx- Paaan *boom*)
Tae: Sorry…
Gokiburida-san.
I wasted…
Your final shot.
(Sfx- Doshaaah *thuuud*)
Tae: But…this is for the best…
Kondo: WHAT KIND OF TARGET SHOOTING IS THIS SERIOUSLY?!
{They got us completely!!}
{In the end the 6000 yen was for this third bit play!!}
Tae: It’s really quite fine…I’ll buy the bag on my own.
Let’s go to the next one.
{And I wasn’t able to show Otae-san how awesome I am!}
{You basatard…you think this festival is going to go your way?}
{But this party is literally only getting started.}
{I won’t give up…}
{I’ll show you the tenacity of a roach!!}
(Side text- WAKE UP THE Hero!!)
GINTAMA LESSON 460………END.